Bang! Bang! Bang! “Order in the court!” The judge, a stocky older man with distinct Mayan features, was ready to begin Sayaka's criminal trial.

“The trial of Sayaka Miki shall now proceed,” he boomed.

“I will read the charges,” said the bailiff, the black cop from “The Amanda Show”.

“Eight counts of murder in the first degree, four counts of murder in the second degree, one thousand two hundred and thirty-four counts of murder in the third degree, three counts of extortion, nine counts of bribery, two counts of treason against Japan, one count of espionage for Estonia, nine thousand and one counts of arson, thirty counts of aggravated assault, eight hundred forty-nine counts of aggravated battery, and one count of public indecency.”

“I now present the defendant, Sayaka Miki, and her attorney.” Out stepped Sayaka with another woman, one who looked to be in her early twenties. She seemed to exude confidence, but her crazy-weird hair was very distracting, Kyoko noted.

“I am the defense attorney, Nanoha Takamachi,” the woman stated.

The judge continued. “I now present the plaintiff, humanity, and its attorney.” The white ol’ devil cat muskrat thing, dressed in a schnazzy suit and coat, walked up to the stand.

“I am the offense attorney, Kyubey,” he said. “And I will be arguing the case for Ms. Miki's conviction.” Nanoha and Kyubey eyed each other fiercely, and the competitive spirit between them had an almost tangible spark. This was going to be an intense trial, Kyoko knew. She needed some popcorn, and quick. So she stood up and walked out to the lobby of the courtroom. She went to the concessions bar and slammed a coin down with a loud clang.

“A popcorn, please,” she demanded politely, flashing her fang just in case her assertiveness was too subtle. The cashier handed her a large bag of buttery delight. She took it and went on her way, already a fourth of the way through with eating it all. The minute or two she missed of the trial was just more dumb legal jargon the author couldn't care to research, so she coincidentally returned just in time for the best part; the trial's commencement.

“How do you plead, Ms. Miki?” the judge asked in an explosion of command.

“No...pff...No contest,” she replied, failing to keep a straight face while saying it. She giggled a bit, but coughed to cover it up.

“Alright then,” the judge said in a voice that resonated absolutely. “Lets us begin the trial. Opening statements. Defendant?”

Nanoha cleared her throat. “I represent the Magical Girl Defense Fund; we are a non-profit organization advocating equal rights and fairness to all young girls gifted with supernatural abilities and tasked with fighting evil, intentionally done or inadvertently chosen. Cases like these are depressingly common; a hero being possessed by the evil force against which they fight and doing heinous acts as a result is unfortunate, but happens to many a magical girl on a near-daily basis. Though her crimes were terrible, Ms. Miki was not at fault for what she did. Instead, we should be prosecuting the true fiends, the evils that possessed her in the first place!”

Kyubey's expression remained unchanged even after this strong opening from his opponent. His confidence was just as high as ever in his refute. “Being the creator of the soul gems, I know how they work. Turning into a witch is not being possessed. It is merely an augmentation of the sorrow a magical girl already has. Boom.”

The judge was decidedly powerful in his verdict. “Ah, so it is 100% certain that it was technically her fault. Ms. Miki is found guilty of all charges, then. She is sentenced to death. Bring out the dancing lobsters!” Sayaka was still laughing about the “no contest joke” but most others were weeping openly. Kyoko was balling her eyes out, knowing that she would never again be able to tap--

Suddenly Madoka pointed her finger with an intense passion. “OBJECTION!” The crustaceans subsided. Everyone gasped.

“The biggest fault in this whole procession is that Sayaka cannot be tried at all! I never read her her Miranda Rights!”

“Oh,” the judge said with an explosive fury. “Then she's free to go. Bye.” Sayaka broke free from her chains and hugged Madoka tightly.

“Thank you!” Sayaka yelled. “Thank you for bending the law to suit your every whim! You're the best sheriff ever!” Kyoko was overjoyed that Sayaka was free. Though she did wonder... Were the Miranda Rights even a thing in Mexico...?

“Ah, so now we can move on to the next phase,” Homura said. “Planning for the wedding. The part that matters.”

“Yeah, and we can do it over tea and ramen!” Kyoko added.

And so they would.