"A doomsday weapon?" Vil asked.

Doc nodded. "It appears to be, yes."

"This is from the intel our cell had stolen." Jenna pointed to the monitor screen on the wall. On it was a display of little graphs of data and numbers that I didn't have the patience to figure out.

Some people whispered and murmured to one another about it, and Doc Jackelope took the hint. "Cosmic Shards," he said. Most of us sighed and nodded as if that was the answer we were almost at. "Queen Marianna has been concentrating mass amounts of Cosmic Shards for a particular purpose. But according to stolen reports, there is some evidence that suggests she intends to build a weapon."

Vil leaned against the wall. He spoke in his usual bored tone. "We already know the empire uses the shards for the Gate."

"Nope," said the Card King. "Didn't know that one." Most everyone else agreed with nods and grunts.

Vil sighed and slicked back that one side of his hair. "It's not even a secret. The shards power a tool that opens a portal to the Outer Reaches. How do you think the empire has been technologically evolving at such a rapid pace?"

"Excuse me," Jenna said. She took a step closer to Vil and looked him up and down. "Your voice... have we... met?"

I hurried over, unsure what to do, and picked up Vil like a toddler. "Buddy! You have a spider on you." I crab-walked to the door. Vil dangled like a docile infant as I carried him by the armpits, and I said, "Here, let's just take care of this right quick." I kicked open the door and tossed him off the ship.

"Redrim, you little shit," he said as he fell, and a splash came soon after.

I dusted off my hands. Another day saved.

Jenna gave me a concerned look, but one that did not disapprove.

"Outer Reaches is what they called it." Jessie was sitting on the map table. "I remember. It's the name for the other worlds. While my arrival in this world was a bit different, in a way, it was due to Marianna's help that I was able to get the tank."

"Strange," rumbled the Gimp King. "This Queen you speak of... Did she perhaps come from that Gate?" He had somehow been strapped to the ceiling this entire time and--oh god--was wrapped up in a sex swing just out of sight. He just sort of... dangled there. I looked around for everyone else's reaction--no one was surprised. Was I the only one who didn't know he was there? How long had he been there? Is this where he sleeps?

People looked at me for an answer. "I don't know," I said. "I only knew her since the fall of the Lambston Royal Family."

"Had she aged?" the Gimp King asked.

"I haven't seen her since." I looked at Jessie for help.

Jessie shrugged. "She looks like a twenty-year-old. Black hair. Deep red lips. Really, hot, actually."

With expert dexterity, the Gimp King slid out of his Gimp Harness Sex Swing and slammed down onto the floor. He towered over all of us in the middle of the room, speaking, his voice rumbling through us, but talking to no one in particular. "I see. It is likely this Marianna is a rebirther as well. And she is the type who lusts for power--"

"She is," Jenna answered.

"--and if she is the type who wishes to rule and conquer all before her--"

"Yes," said the Card King, "But that's like a synonym or something."

"--then I suspect she would steal forbidden weapons from the Outer Worlds." He looked over at Jessie, and they nodded at one another. "Nukes," he rumbled.

"Nukes?" I asked. "Some kind of... pizza bagel?"

"Yes," Jessie said.

"No," said the Gimp King. "It a type of weapon known as a World-Slayer. A weapon forged to lay waste to cities and countries in a mere instant. The threat of such a weapon alone was enough to win wars, and if this Marianna had her way--without consent, no less--bartered for nukes with those shards, then she will certainly rule this world."

"And any world connected by the Gate," Jessie finished.

The knight--who had been sitting in the corner this entire time--burst into laughter. "Aha! I knew following this noble knight would lead us on a fantastic quest! Behold, my friends!" His comrades nodded at him with smiles.

And everyone looked at me, and for a moment, I had forgotten who was the de facto leader here. I turned and gripped the helm. "Then we'll just have to stop her." I reached for the throttle and--

"We need a plan," Jenna said.

"Yes," said the Doc. "We cannot afford to run in, willy nilly."

"And willy nilly aside," said the Card King, "we can fare to bolster our forces." He nodded to me. "We have friends in the neutral city of Eirshire. Perhaps plot a course there."

I took a deep breath, turned back around, and gripped the helm again. This was it. This was that one cool moment that happened after every meeting like this where the cool guy said an awesome thing before they embarked on the second half of the journey, and I needed something equally awesome and awe-inspiring to say, but I didn't have anything.

Time was running out. I felt their stares as I just stood there like an idiot looking out the glass. So I said the first thing to come to mind--always say the first thing that comes to mind--and as I thrust the throttle to full-speed-ahead, I said, "Gruu-wuu-wuu~~"

And the engines sputtered and died.

I still hadn't fixed everything yet. My moment was gone. Some people groaned and shook their heads as they filed out of the bridge, and I couldn't move. I was frozen. What was I supposed to do in this situation?

Something grunted behind me.

I twitched in surprise--someone's hand touched me on the top of my head, and it was--it was Jenna, lifted up on Jessie's shoulders, and she was head patting me. "There, there, Redrim. I'm sure your epic moment will come eventually."

I smiled back. "Thanks, kid."