"Oh, Redrim," the woman said over the loudspeaker. "Why don't you just give it up already? If you surrender now, I'll be sure to let your friends go free. Isn't that a good deal?"

The tank idled some thirty meters away. We had to play this tactically, as tactically as we could, seeing we didn't have time to formulate a strategy.

I glanced back at Vil to make sure he didn't run away with our loot. Johnny was still with him. Vil had him on the ground, still bound and gagged with duct tape. Vil was casting Earth magic with the tip of his sword to build a mound of dirt. A sort of defensive emplacement to hide Johnny while we fought. It was far from done, but the knowing glances he sent me told me he needed time.

I would make it for him.

-17500 Earth Element

Bulwark (Left) activated.

Turret (Right) activated.

Heart of the Masochist activated.

My arms reformed, and I angled my shield perfectly to deflect the next attack. My cannon array peeked around the shield, ready to fire.

I was a one-man pike wall.

"Aww, Redrim," she said again. "You wanted to make this difficult."

The turret whirred as it aimed, but not at me.

At Vil!

Shit.

I fired my cannon array at the tank's barrel, right as it fired. The gunfire flashed in the darkness, a two-hit boom of air, and my attack sparked right off. No effect. I heard an explosion behind me.

Vil's little dirt bunker blossomed in smoke and debris. Through the waterfall of black dirt and rocks and pebbles, Vil's manashield blinked, but a blur of a man flung far back to the arena wall--

--and bounced off.

It was Johnny. He hit the wall hard and now fell like a ragdoll on the ground.

Clickk-kerchunk!

I reloaded. Took aim. Fired again. I needed this bitch to hurt me while I had my masochist spell on.

The tank's engine revved, the treads gripped hard the gravel as it lurched forward, kicked in gear, and tried to flank me.

I turned slowly to keep my shield angled right.

It fired. The shells slammed so hard against me, I felt my shoulder fracture from the force. The round ricocheted, bouncing off into the stands to explode.

I felt the burst of power.

The tank took a hard right, facing me, then roared. It was gonna ram me!

"Flashstep!"

Flashstep unavailable in this form.

Fuck! I tried to hurry out of the way, but with this shield and gun arm, I was too slow!

From the plume of smoke where Vil's dirt bunker was, pale green blurs of wind shot through and slammed against the tank's rear.

The tank shook and veered to the left, just narrowly missing me. It passed, the side grinding against the arena wall, dirt and dust and sparks poured along its side, and on the top of the turret, the mounted machine gun spun over--

And fired at Vil.

Tak-tak-tak-tak-tak--

Vil crouched. Tracing lines of fire peppered around him, some shattered against his manashield, and when the tank turned--and its aim off-target--Vil slashed again. Fluttering spells of blinding fire.

I hurried to get on the tank's flank.

She noticed! Just as I set up to fire, she yanked hard again in a turn. She knew it was her weak spot, just as we did.

Vil's spell slammed against the top of her turret. A flare of heat erupted all around it, doing fuck-all to the tank. The machinegun tried to return fire, just as the main cannon aimed again at me.

I braced.

The cannon fired at me.

The machinegun fired at Vil.

The shell slammed hard against me, and it exploded. My entire left half rocked from the force, flames bathed my skin and scorched me dry, the shrapnel ripped through the shield and shredded my armor, and it eviscerated my bulwark shield.

It ripped my left arm off! The entire thing! I toppled far, rolling like a bent-up suit of armor, before sliding in the rough gravel to a stop. I tried to stand, but my knees! My joints were damaged!

The woman laughed over the loudspeaker, but she was cut short at the sound of thunder.

Vil stood atop the tank. His sword glowed with electric power, and he slashed down at the metal beast.

An arc of lightning splashed against it, buzzing with a hot white glow, and the turret machine gun shook electrified, sparked, then popped. It fell limp. It was disabled!

The tank yanked hard to shake him off, but he held on tight. Then, she halted, flung it in reverse, and floored it back, engine pumping, the side of the tank digging into the arena wall, and soon the entire thing dipped into the wall like butter. The coliseum stands above began to shatter and spill over the top of the tank, bathing Vil in rock and concrete and debris, and soon, the tank stopped again.

It pulled away, a plume of dust following--Vil no longer to be seen.

The tank faced me as I struggled to my feet.

The turret. If I could aim just right, I could fire down her barrel.

I was mad with power. My masochist spell had reached its climax, and my dick shuddered in anticipation.

Emergency Power activated.

I reloaded. The shells shot out of my cannon array, pulling wispy trails of smoke, and plinked in the dirt. The tank veered right, showing me her side. I focused on my target. The enemy tank clunked inside as it reloaded, then turned left again, facing me.

The turret wheeled over, closer, closer, and it aimed right at me. I could now see straight down her barrel.

I fired. The light was blinding. The recoil quaked through my body. My right foot shattered, and I fell to my knee. A glow came from the mouth of the gun turret, and then--

It exploded! Did I do it? Did I get her? Through the fire and flames of my attack, I could see the turret split open, the cracks ripping down the front of the tank as if a massive dragon sliced it through with her claws, and there, right in the driver's seat, sat a familiar face.

It was her, but she was blindfolded, unharmed--

--and smiling daggers at me. She survived!

Not only that but even with a huge gash in the tank and turret, it still moved. She could still fire!

I needed to shoot first. And quick. I shot out the expended shells from my cannons and reloaded--

Not enough resources.

Fuck! I was dead in the water!

"Oh, Redrim. It's been fun," she said. "I almost regret not bringing a better tank, but it's no matter. This one got the job done, regardless."

The turret corrected its aim, whirring as it moved, pausing and clacking and struggling through its wounds, easing closer and closer, and soon, with no escape for me, I stared. Was I ready to play this final card?

She laughed. "Tell the goddess I said hello."

Click-tap.

It was a rock. Someone threw a rock at the main battle tank.

Click-tap-tap.

It plinked off the side and rolled across the gravel.

I squinted my eyes at where it came from. There, up in the stands above the North gate, stood a girl--no--it was Johnny's girlfriend!

The woman saw that I was immobile and defenseless, then started to spin the tank around.

She was gonna shoot Johnny's girl!

I had to stop her. Goddamnit, I couldn't let this happen.

Turret Mode deactivated.

My cannon barrels clanked in the gravel beside me.

Mining (Right)--Not enough resources.

I would need to do this the hard way. I gripped a fistful of dirt and shoved it into my mouth. The tank turned.

+2.1kg Dirt

I gulped and took another handful.

+2.3kg Dirt

Then another.

+1.2kg Dirt

The tank sputtered, treads squealing, turret turning.

Fuck! I wasn't gonna make it in time!

The tank now turned completely. Her rear was now vulnerable for penetration, but I had no more ammo. No way to even damage her.

The tank aimed--the girl stood frozen--and Vil dashed in front of her with his manashield blinking--and the tank fired.

A flash of light, a resounding boom, a plume of fire and smoke. The coliseum stands where they stood was now a burning, smoking crater dug into the side of the coliseum. Vil and the girl were nowhere to be seen.

I gulped the last handful I was willing to take. It was over. It was done.

Hmmmm.

+5544 Earth Element

+554 XP

I waited there in the gravel, sitting on my knees, my left arm missing, my right arm dangling limply at my side, and my head dropped with defeat.

I heard movement in the tank. Then, a feminine grunt. Small feet tapped against the gravel as she hopped out, then crunched as she stepped over.

I didn't watch. I hadn't the energy.

"A lot of work went into this, Redrim," she said above me. "And just as Marianna told me, you would make this more complicated than necessary."

"M-Marianna?" I groaned. "That bitch?"

The woman knelt. She reached over and lifted my chin to look into my eyes, into my trash can soul. She was beautiful. Confident. Unconquerable. The worst kind of woman. In her other hand, the enchanted recycler knife. It hummed and glowed, thirsting for my trash can blood.

"Of course," she said. "How else could I ever hope to find you."

I spat. Well, not really. I couldn't spit. I was a trash can wearing knight's armor. But the noise still sounded like I spit in her face, and she flinched.

She gripped my throat and squeezed. "All I wanted was an apology, Redrim."

"For--for fucking what?"

"For stabbing me."

She positioned the knife against my chest. It vibrated so intensely fast, I could feel my entire body shake, and it started to dig into me with ease.

She gripped my throat tighter. "Make this easy! Apologize!"

"Fine!" I shouted. "Fuck! I'm sorry! Is that what you wanted? I was an asshole. I am an asshole, I know, I get it, I can't help it, but goddamnit, I'm trying, okay? I'm fucking trying."

She paused, then drew back the knife. “Good boy," she purred. "Now. As your reward, I'll show you places far from here."

She reared back the glowing knife--

--and thrust.

It dug into my armor with a hollow thunk. The War Machine head dangled like a rattly tin can.

An empty tin can.