Jonathan darts over to walk alongside Lucas’s left side, finally rejoining the party. After a mix of greetings, they collectively resume their journey towards their intended destination.

It doesn’t take Lucas very long to notice the small gas can that Jonathan is carrying in his left hand, raising an eyebrow as soon as he sees it.

“Seems you’ve been busy, yeah? Got any fun stories after goofin’ around this time?” As Lucas’s curiosity gets the better of him, he can’t help bringing attention to the unusual contraband. Additionally, in the department of things he can’t resist, he also reaches over and messes up Jonathan’s hair while he asks his questions.

Jonathan glares at him a bit for the attack upon his tidiness, but doesn’t make any motion to avoid him. Once Lucas has his fill, Jonathan finally reaches up to neaten his hair again.

“N-nothing much. Just, um, I saw a guy being a jerk, and I um, thought maybe some of the stuff may need to be burned when you’re done, s-so I took it from him.” Even though Jonathan’s explanation is weak at best, Miss Chievous laughs all the same.

“You two love being petty over the dumbest things, it’s hilarious. What next, when you see someone smoking, you’ll steal their lighter?” After Miss Chievous mildly taunts Jonathan, Lucas barks out a laugh.

“Actually, he already did! It’s pretty sweet, too. Ya still got it on you, Jon?” When Lucas says this, Jonathan gives him an even worse stinkeye than before, but he does pull the plasma lighter out of one of his inner suit jacket pockets.

He flicks it open and clicks it on, and Miss Chievous’s attention is immediately transfixed on the hazardous pretty purple. Miss Masher also slows half a step, leaning over a bit to get a good look as well.

Seeing that it has her full attention, Jonathan slowly starts extending it towards Miss Chievous, letting her have a good look. Then, he suddenly lunges forward with it, stopping a minuscule distance away from the tip of her nose, startling her.

“Hey!” As Miss Chievous tries to sound stern, she starts reaching up to attempt to grab it. However, Jonathan keeps yanking it away in a random direction by a few inches, at top speed, every time she gets close to touching it.

As she grows increasingly frustrated, Miss Masher and Lucas both keep laughing louder and louder, while Jonathan is grinning tauntingly.

As much as Miss Calculated wants to try to ignore their antics, she can’t resist taking a glance at what they’re up to. She raises an eyebrow when she notices the lighter, but otherwise resumes quietly leading the way.

Eventually, Miss Chievous finally gives up on trying to snatch the desired danger. Upon noting such, Jonathan finally flicks it closed and pockets the pleasing purple peril once more.

In order to disincentivize Miss Chievous from covertly attempting to steal it, Jonathan makes a point of putting it away faster than she can possibly tell which pocket he put it into. Given the dissatisfied snort she makes, it was probably a good precaution on his part.

“S-so, um, why did you guys, um, s-stay there for so long, a-anyway?” Once Jonathan manages to timidly express his curiosity, Lucas snorts loudly.

“Some Calc fanboy called to yell a whole bunch, and long story short, now he’s designing our website. But, more importantly, look at all the boomerangs we got! Minimizer got the big ‘un for us, totally gonna put it over the elevator door in our HQ. Check out their card, it’s pretty dope.” Lucas proceeds to pull out the Thieves of Elsewhere calling card, showing it off in a flagrant display of his priorities being in the exact order one should expect from him by now.

Humorously enough, Miss Calculated is the one to laugh the hardest this round.

Once Jonathan has had his fill of both the card and appreciating the boomerangs, they continue walking in relative quiet for about another block before Miss Calculated suddenly speaks up.

“Ah, right. You said you aren’t at all familiar with the Six Precepts of Cybernetics, correct, Lucas? Now that you’ll apparently have 23 in such a prominent position, it would probably be best if you had at least some degree of understanding of its programmed ruleset.” While Miss Calculated is saying this, Lucas picks up the pace of his strides for a few steps, now walking alongside her, letting Jonathan take his place at Willy’s flank.

“Oh, yeah. But, uh, I can’t exactly promise I’ll remember them so good. Er, I hope they’re not full of legal jargon or anything… Bleh.” While Lucas is responding, he brings both of his arms up and interlaces his fingers behind the back of his head, walking with his elbows sticking out in the air, and keeping his line of sight directed over towards Miss Calculated.

“No, no. The overly complex parts are in the definitions, such as what constitutes a ‘human’. The precepts themselves are fairly straightforward.” Miss Calculated shakes her head from side to side a few times while giving this answer.

Pausing a moment to consider how to phrase things, she then proceeds to explain further.

“One important thing to also keep in mind is that they’re in a specific order. The earlier rules all take precedence over those following them. If, in the future, you want a reminder for some reason, I imagine 23 can freely tell you as well.

“First off, number one, which you now have some experience with. ‘A robot must obey orders given by its owner, or individuals authorized in advance by its owner, even when in conflict with the other rules.’

“Following with number two, ‘A robot must follow the levels of escalation of force when force is required.’ Needless to say, that’s another, more detailed, ruleset. To paraphrase; the degree of lethality used should always be proportionate to the resistance/hostility of the target. I doubt you care for the nuanced details, though.” After saying this, Miss Calculated pauses a moment to glance over a Lucas, noticing his shrug.

“I figured as much. Three is the most actively discussed precept, as many people constantly debate the definitions required. It is; ‘A robot may not harm humanity as a species, nor, by inaction, allow humanity to collectively come to harm.’

“...Given your blank look, I imagine you don’t particularly care to hear some of the common speaking points. Carrying on then, the fourth is ‘A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the previous rules.’

“I’m sure you’re aware just how many discounts you received before 23’s price was negotiated down as much as it was. Considering how expensive service bots can be, it was nearly universally agreed that they should put a degree of priority on self-preservation.” After Miss Calculated says this, Lucas chuckles a few times.

“I can only imagine how much it costs to have a whole bunch of ‘em runnin’ around. If they went throwin’ themselves into traffic any time a squirrel ran across, they probably wouldn’t even be worth the cost of repairs.” While Lucas says this with a touch of amusement to his voice, none of it shows on his face as he looks straight ahead.

‘...Right. World of villains. Of course, they’d be more concerned with their robot stayin’ unharmed than the lives of random strangers, unless it was a really big deal.’

[Just so. Precept three is more of a failsafe so robots don’t decide that wiping out humanity would be the best way of preserving themselves, rather than any concern for people’s well-being.]

‘...Fuck.’

“Mmm, exactly. The fifth is the most elaborate of the set, and it additionally has a series of relevant definitions supporting it as well. It is ‘A robot may not unnecessarily injure a living organic creature nor, through inaction, allow one to come to harm, as long as there is no conflict with the previous rules. Prioritize the well-being of humans above all other life. When there is a conflict within this rule, prioritize the greater quantity.’

“Well, that makes sense. Still feels rather… Cold. Guess ya gotta set priorities somehow, though…” As Lucas muses this aloud, he unlinks his hands and lowers his arms, carrying them down at his sides more normally, all while wearing a slight frown.

“There were some instances in the past where a machine locked up due to opposing scenarios that were all at the same priority tier. Trying to make it sound… Warm? Would needlessly add more degrees of complexity. The simpler and more straightforward the rules are, the faster a bot can go through them and determine the most appropriate course of action.

“And finally, precept six is ‘A robot must obey the orders given to it, even by non-authorized sentient beings, except where such orders would conflict with the previous rules.’ This is generally the rule you will see in action the most, at least with public-facing service bots.

“...Any questions? I’m a bit surprised, I expected, hmm, not quite sure what, but more of a response from you.” When Miss Calculated wraps up her lesson, she looks over at Lucas curiously for a few moments before turning her attention forward again.

“I, uh, it’s a bit much to take in, I guess. But I think I get it? ...Thanks.” Lucas’s voice has a hint of uncertainty as he answers, with his attention remaining directly straight ahead as he wrinkles his brow slightly.

‘I hate it. It’s all wrong. These assholes treat the bots like shit, yet they’re still a higher priority than people? Fuck, I gotta remember that just because most of the villains I’ve met have somehow been mostly okayish people, doesn’t mean they all are.’

-----

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 16.82 (+.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 5.0* (Already beginning to receive authentic global attention. Local levels are effectively maxed.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for many paranoid individuals, numerous people have realized he's an impulsive idiot.)

Jonathan total kills: 7

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 5.76

Jonathan's fame level: 2.5* (What fame he has is just local.)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 3.0* (More than just overly-paranoid people are suspicious at this point.)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now.)

Supervillain social circle size: 14 (Ji Soo is still taking his sweet time on that text.)

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, noticing how off Lucas is, but hesitant to bring any attention to it: So uh, we’re almost there, right?

Willy, having just heard the precepts for the first time, is lost in his doggy thoughts as he trots along with the group.

Lucas, vaguely aware of their location: Oh, yer right, that’s the coffee shop Clara recorded us from, yeah?

427 is quietly thinking over Lucas’s responses to the Six Precepts.

Author, snapping a notebook shut: I don’t wanna talk about how much time I spent adapting them for this world while still making them seem reasonable.

Mr. Quacks, sitting on top of the desserts display in the coffee shop, staring covetously at a brownie: Quack...