《I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please》Ch123 - I Give A Dime, Boss Loses A Dollar
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"All right… Well, since you already know specifically which one you're interested in, that speeds things up quite a bit. Hmm, looks like it's actually past due for scheduled maintenance, how did tha- Oh right, the usual place was down for its own maintenance and they still haven't notified us that they're ready yet. Well, if that's not a deal-breaker for you, I could give you a little extra discount, considering. Fair warning, I'm pretty sure it has a few parts that are nearly worn to the point of needing replacement, for full transparency." After Lorelei had spent a few minutes reading through a handful of files, she turned to face Lucas directly as she began speaking.
'Ha! She said transparency, heh.'
[...]
Barely suppressing his chuckle, Lucas clears his throat and takes a moment to put on a show of thinking things over before finally responding.
"That shouldn't be a problem, my HQ is actually part of a larger existing one that already has its own service bot staff, so their owner should be able to point me in the right direction. Though yeah, if I'm gonna be shelling out extra for parts, I'd appreciate it if that came out of its cost. Uh, will it be fine for walkin' there itself, or am I gonna have to carry it to play it safe?" When Lucas finishes his question, it's Miss Chievous's turn to barely suppress a laugh, as she may or may not have imagined Lucas carrying 23 around in a princess carry.
"Good, good. Ah, that shouldn't be an issue, nothing should be at the point of immediate failure. I just didn't want you to blame me for trying to pull one over on you by not mentioning how big of a maintenance session it's due for. Mmm, it's all my boss' fault for not getting it taken care of sooner, after all." When Lorelei openly blames her boss, the look of schadenfreude on her face makes it all too obvious that there is much more to the story than she has shared thus far.
'Oho, is she looking for excuses to give me discounts? Hah, that dude musta' fucked up real good.'
[...It does rather seem like it. Perhaps you should try fishing for a few excuses too? I imagine she will be most cooperative. Ah, how about its current battery charge? As it had been in the process of working, and you were hoping to put it to use this evening.]
"Hmm, oh! And speaking of transportation, will it have enough battery left to go any real distance today? Ah, and I was kinda hopin' to put it to use later too…" Lucas decides to have fun hamming things up a bit, and his performance is met with Lorelei's enthusiastic participation.
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"Oh, of course, it would be inconsiderate of us to sell a partially drained unit. Why, I should make sure it goes and connects to the emergency high-speed charging station to ensure it will be able to serve to the best of its abilities this evening! One moment, please, I will get that started right away. Wouldn't want to make you wait around once you and your companions are all otherwise ready to leave, after all." Considering how huge of a grin Lorelei has after saying this, she is obviously enjoying nickel-and-diming her boss for every cent she can.
Confident that it is fairly obvious that they're both on the same page about shortchanging her boss, Lucas doesn't bother holding back his laughter as she walks past.
Once Lorelei has left the room, Miss Chievous seems to have leaned over towards Lucas, whispering directly into his ear.
"Psst. Hey, how did you realize I was here? It's one thing for Calc to figure it out, but I have no idea how you could have. Like, for real." After Miss Chievous asks her question, Lucas can't resist laughing again.
"Eheh, it's really buggin' you, isn't it?" Lucas is having far too much fun tormenting her to answer right away, wearing a huge grin as leans back in his chair.
"Hey! Come on! Tell me! I even have a surprise for you, you just have to wait until after we leave! But! Only if you tell me!" Even though Miss Chievous is speaking in a hushed tone, the willful inflections of her voice are apparent.
Lucas pauses a moment to look out the door again, making sure Lorelei is still nowhere in sight, finally deigning to answer.
Turns out, the mysterious bribe proved to be super effective.
"I managed to hear ya when you followed me in, an' since I had an idea you might be there I watched the seat and saw it move when ya sat down. I'll admit, I was just lucky for once. Wasn't some new super-secret method of seein' ya, don't worry." Once Lucas quietly fesses up, there is the very obvious sound of Miss Chievous sighing with relief.
"Phew, okay. So, what's going on anyway? Did Calc talk you into buying 23 so she could play with it?" As Miss Chievous maintains the hushed conversation, there's a brief clatter of wood rubbing against wood when she settles back on the chair she's occupying.
"What? No, I wanted to… Wait… Uh… Yeah, she kinda did, actually." While Lucas's knee-jerk reaction was to say he wanted to buy 23 of his own accord, he then thought back to Miss Calculated suggesting he buy 23 directly, as well as her not-so-subtle offer to run diagnostics and apply optimizations to it.
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Miss Chievous stifles a laugh, but quickly falls silent. After a short pause, she makes a brief hushed "Shh" and then remains quiet.
[Ah, guess she heard Lorelei returning.]
A few seconds later, Lorelei walks back through the door, heading over to her seat once more.
"Sorry about the wait, 23 is now currently charging. It was just below half, so good call on bringing it up. Ah, your dessert was at the table, the young gentleman with you had already begun eating his share, so I'll cut to the chase. I'm thinking that between 23's age, its current status of being past due for maintenance and parts, and the fact honestly it would be silly to ask you full market value for such a heavily worked unit, I'm thinking probably 150,000$? With its normal charging bay included, of course." Without interacting with the computer any further, Lorelei had turned to face Lucas directly and make this offer, watching him with clear anticipation once she finishes.
[...Well then. I was originally going to suggest that you should try to haggle by offering 175k with the hopes of ending up at about 200k, but I'd say that at that price haggling would just be rude, she clearly has squeezed out as many excuses as she can on your behalf already.]
"Oh, sure, that'd be great!" Once Lucas processes what 427 said, he promptly accepts Lorelei's offer, starting to reach a hand out for a handshake and then pulling back when he remembers he still hasn't washed his hands post-lobster-fest.
"Perfect, I'll call up a technician to swing by and disconnect it from our network, I'm sure offers of emergency rates will coax them to come by soon enough to not delay you going about your day too much." As Lorelei says this, she pulls the phone that is resting on the desk toward herself, beaming a smile at Lucas.
Before she was even done speaking, Miss Chievous stealthily kicked Lucas once, hard enough that there's no way he'd miss it.
'Eh? The hell was that for?'
[...I'm sure Miss Calculated would be more than happy to take Lorelei's money to take care of 23.]
'OH!'
"Oh, I bet Calc could do it super easy. But, of course, it wouldn't be fair to expect her to do it for free." When Lucas finishes speaking, Lorelei has somehow found a way to make her expression brighten even further.
"But of COURSE. Such a professional deserves compensation for their very valuable time, and a bonus since she was off the clock to boot! Certainly wouldn't want to risk damaging our fine establishment's reputation by making unfair requests of a paying customer!" Lorelei is positively radiant at this point, and 427 breaks into laughter.
[Goodness, the Sisterhood must really need the funds at the moment, that suggestion was somehow equivalent to a successful minor GDV task completion.]
'Ha!'
-----
Lucas total kills: 7
Lucas total deaths: 11
Lucas total assists: 1
Lucas current GDV: 12.38 (+.01 +.01 +.01 +.1 = +.13 net change)
Lucas's fame level: 4.50* (Beyond just local, viral meme tier. Local levels are extremely high.)
Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for some paranoid individuals, people are realizing he's an impulsive idiot)
Jonathan total kills: 6
Jonathan total deaths: 2
Jonathan current GDV: 3.98 (+.01 net change)
Jonathan's fame level: 2.75* (Mostly just local)
Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 2.75* (a few paranoid individuals are suspicious)
Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now)
Supervillain social circle size: 11
-----
Little character theater:
Jonathan went from awkward to now having the best time so far this meal, enjoying quality storytime and a tasty brownie and friends with neither of the intoxicated fools harassing him.
Willy is still snoozin' it up, every bit of a good boi as ever.
Lucas is returning Lorelei's bright smile, struggling not to laugh.
427 is now attempting to make predictions as to what parts 23 may require, estimating their value and potential sources: [It Doesn't hurt to be ready, just in case she wasn't just being nice by cutting so much of a deal due to its need for upgrades…]
Author, with a huge grin of their own: Gee, how FORTUNATE it is that Lucas saved a lot of money...
Mr. Quacks, his beak suspiciously covered in chocolate syrup as he sits on the edge of the plate for the brownie sundae: Quack.
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