After spending some time contemplating Willy's hardships, Lucas's mind wanders off in another direction.

'...Hey, so Jon hates his family name, yeah?'

[It seems like it? You could just ask him?]

'Well, could I just like, become his legal guardian or something, and he gets my name instead?'

[...Given that you are considered a full-grown adult and he is a minor, I don't see why not. Ah, though becoming only a legal guardian wouldn't terminate his parent's current rights. Even though they disowned him, there is a chance they did not do so legally. Heh, did we make enough son jokes that you started to take it seriously?]

'Hey, each and every one was funny and you know it! I don't really care either way, not like I'll treat him any different, but it would probably make him happy? I mean, if we're gonna go to I4 anyway, that'd be how he'd update his name on his ID, yeah?'

[At this point, you should just ask him. And while yes, I4 is where you would update his information, you would have to go and make it official at the Municipal Clerk's Administrative Center first. ID changes are taken very seriously in order to prevent people from just constantly changing their names on a whim to hide their traces after whatever their latest crime had been.]

'Right... Why do I feel awkward about asking him out loud though?'

[...Perhaps you're finally realizing how big of a deal it is.]

'Psh, forget you.'

They had originally paused to look up at the building for a bit and then continued to stay where they were when Willy had made his request known. Under the impression that the I4 entrance is their new goal, Jonathan is about to take a step forward to head towards the crosswalk, but Lucas holds an arm out in front of him to stop him.

"Hey, uh, Jon. You uh, don't seem to like your last name very much, yeah?" As Lucas asks this, Jonathan gives one of his signature flinches, complete with raising his hands slightly to twist his fingers together.

"Um, ye-yeah. Since my parents, you know... Kicked me out... And, um, and I never really liked my other relatives either..." As Jonathan manages to stammer a few words out, his voice keeps gradually becoming quieter as his hands start fidgeting more intensely.

"Hey, relax kiddo. Uh, you don't want them botherin' you when you become some big shot super... Villain, yeah?" As Lucas asks this, Jonathan nods rapidly a few times. "Heh, you don't want them botherin' you at all, regardless, more like. Uh, so, anyway, uh, I figured maybe that, uh, if I was your foster father or something, you could switch to mine? If you want?" Partway through Lucas awkwardly extending the familial invitation, Jonathan had realized what he was leading up to and is completely frozen in place, staring up at Lucas's face, wide-eyed.

The entire time, Lucas has been feeling too awkward to look directly at Jonathan. Instead, he has been staring up at a distant skyscraper and nervously scratching the back of his head with his right hand. After a few seconds of not getting a response from Jonathan, he finally looks down at him.

The sorry sight before him causes Lucas to snort out an uncontrollable laugh. Jonathan's eyes are alarmingly red, and he is clearly just one brief moment away from turning into a complete waterworks.

Jonathan's hands are frozen in place, mid twist, and his lips move falteringly as he says something that is inaudible thanks to the passing traffic.

Realizing there is no way Lucas could have heard him, further confirmed by him making no reaction beyond laughing at his appearance, he finally manages to speak up.

"Do you... Do you really mean it?" As Jonathan's voice reaches an audible level, he finally starts moving again. He reaches up and grabs the lapels of Lucas's suit jacket, and shakes him. Since Lucas doesn't put up any resistance whatsoever, his body rocks back and forth from his efforts.

Lucas has a grin on his face as he waits for Jonathan to work his way through his first wave of emotions, somewhat patiently waiting for a chance to mock his reaction.

"REALLY!?" As Jonathan finally applies some assertive force behind his question, he achieves the direct opposite effect when his voice sharply cracks mid-word. This proves to be too much for Lucas to handle, and he bursts out laughing.

"Pfft, seriously. I'm not gonna treat you any different or anything, it'd just be on paper really. It'd be a pain in the ass for both of us if your parents showed up out of nowhere claiming that all that money you have is supposed to be theirs, or they should have shares in the organization or some shit. Not that I think anyone would support them, but I really don't want to deal with it either way." As Lucas chokes back his laughter enough to drop some real talk, Jonathan releases the floodgates.

While Jonathan's face transforms into a torrent of snot and tears, he grabs Lucas in a bear hug that would probably be painful if he didn't have enhanced endurance. Lucas awkwardly pats his back a few times, but he is barely suppressing laughter at his exaggerated response the whole time.

"Hey, just cus' the suit is waterproof doesn't mean I wanna test if it's snot-proof too, reel it in a little, brat. I already told you before that I'd take care of ya, what's the big deal now?" Between bouts of laughter, Lucas manages to squeeze out a casually insulting vague attempt at soothing the happily sobbing teen, but it proves to be counterproductive. All Lucas really manages to accomplish is further reinforcing his image as a tsundere in Jonathan's mind.

Jonathan shakes his head from side to side in response, but rather than conveying any useful information, all it achieves is rubbing his snotty nose on Lucas's tie.

"It... But... It's different!" As Jonathan continues to not express any real explanation while mumbling into his chest, Lucas has finally managed to stop laughing.

"Okay... Okay. So it's different. How is it different? Explain for Willy, obviously I know how it's different. But you should be the one to explain for him. But I could, if I wanted to, of course." As Lucas displays his lying prowess, that being of a negative value, Jonathan stops crying long enough to laugh instead.

Willy does his part, looking up at Jonathan with his head tilted in a cute inquisitive pup fashion. The three chew toys dangling from his mouth by their arms rock from side to side from his movements.

"It... Just... I didn't, um, I didn't think I'd have a family again. Even, even if everything else is the same, it's still different." As Jonathan does a terrible job of putting his thoughts into words, he accidentally gets his point across anyway.

Willy lets out a whine and rubs the side of his head against Jonathan's leg, then looks up at Lucas, his narrowed stare somehow piercing.

"Hey, even without me around, you'd still end up finding some nice chick to settle down with someday, yeah? Come on you, we're probably going to spend half the day waiting in line to get all this crap done as it is, we don't need to spend an hour out here on the sidewalk too." With Lucas being as smooth as ever, he gently pats Jonathan's back one more time before lowering his arms.

[And who's the one that asked 'How many girls do you think want to date a speed supe?']

'If he took any of my insults seriously, I doubt he'd be crying right now. Or maybe he would, but for a totally different reason.'

"Oh... Ri-right. Um, sor-sorry." Jonathan manages to compose himself slightly and finally releases his death grip on Lucas's torso. Sniffling a bit, he rummages through his pockets to pull out some napkins, wiping the damp spot off of Lucas's shirt and tie before tending to his own face.

Once Jonathan had stepped back enough that Lucas could see his face again, Lucas bursts out laughing even louder than before. While Jonathan had been fishing out the napkins, he had pulled out his phone and flagrantly snapped a few photos of his face.

"Dude, look at what a huge mess you are! Bwahahaha! I know, I should send it to Josephine, maybe she'll find a girl for you that's into that." As Lucas completely kills the mood, he holds his phone straight up in the air as Jonathan hops up repeatedly, trying to snatch it out of his hands.

"Don't you dare!" Shouting at Lucas, Jonathan's mad enough that he even loses his stutter. At least he's done crying now.

Willy practices due diligence and lets out two muffled barks, but even with being limited by doggy features, he is clearly amused.

[I'm starting to think he's better off without you as a father figure.]

'...You only just thought of that now?'

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 8.9 (+.1 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 2.5* (Mostly just local)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 5

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 1.92

Jonathan's fame level: 1.75* (Just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan is hopping like his life depends on it, desperately trying to snatch away Lucas's phone. He's even seriously considering using his powers and climbing up his body like a tree at high speeds, but isn't shameless enough.

Willy is enjoying the show, his wagging tail exposing his mood.

Lucas is far too amused to let up anytime soon.

427 feels like he should logically be scolding Lucas for his behavior, but is just as amused as he is.

Author, musing out loud: Let's see how many chapters until I regret giving Lucas a dad joke license. Oh, also, send me that pic, I need it, it's important.

Mr. Quacks, wishing he had a phone of his own so he could have the ridiculous picture of Jonathan's face too: Quack...