《Hunting for jade beauties~ A trash novel》21. Pitcher
Advertisement
Walking out of my realm, I carefully step past the stalagmite of shit.
One of the upper sewage pipes near the entrance is burst and leaks feces 24/7. It happened a couple of years ago, yet no one bothered to fix it until now.
The state simply has no money for such trivialities, they are too busy fighting the dangerous western homopropganda that, not unlike Napoleon and Hitler before, threatens the independence of our glorious state.
So the sewage leaks, and during winter it freezes, forming something resembling a stalagmite.
However, right now it’s not winter yet, so the ‘stalagmite’ is very metaphorical…..
[Quest: strategy meeting with Vanya]
I make my way to the location marked on my minimap. It’s near an abandoned warehouse on the edge of the town.
The shrubs around are white from all the trash and bottles lingering around. It’s one of the favorite meeting spots for local drunks, hobos and gopniks, such as us.
Vanya is already waiting. I brought a bottle of Finlandia, he brought a pack of cigarettes.We share a smoke and a drink in a cordial atmosphere.
While telling him about all my worries, I lazily pick up a nearby stone, and throw it at one of the windows of the warehouse.
[Throw failed: +1 exp]
The stone bounces off the wall and ricochets back at me.
I let out a high pitched scream, and cover my head just as the stone flies past me.
Vanya laughs.
"You scream like a suka! I'll show you how it's done!"
He slowly picks up a brick, then assumes the pose of a baseball pitcher, raising his leg up, and making a menacing facial expression.
If you want to know how mencing he looked, imagine little ゴゴゴゴ flying around him.
......and then he loses balance and falls over.
Advertisement
"Blyat, if only I were sober!"
We both get angry and resolve ourselves to break these pesky windows no matter what.
[Quest: kills the windows]
I take several stones at once, and barrage the window with danmaku of bullet hell. Some of them hit, and the window breaks apart into tiny little shards.
Vanya has a strategy of his own. He bravely closes the distance to his chosen window, and throws a stone at it at point blank. Nice thinking, Vanya!
Knowing I can’t be any worse, I switch to a melee weapon and picking up a nearby stick, charge alongside the wall, hitting and breaking all the windows like a mounted warrior in M&B.
[Quest: ‘kill the windows succeeded! +20 exp!] [+evil]
I am not surprised that I got some evil point for that. After all, I showed them no mercy. I slaughtered them all, women and children too.
Just as we are high fiving, congratulating each other on this splendid heroic crushing total ultimate victory, a bald fat man wearing a leather trench coat runs out and screams at us.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SVOLOCHY DOING TO MY WAREHOUSE!”
[Negotiate]
[Fight]
>[Run]
And so we take flight, our strategy meeting never concluded. In a rush, we also ditch a bottle of vodka, which was barley half empty, but its noble sacrifice is what allows us to escape unharmed.
This is the second time a Finlandia sacrificed itself to save me, and I can feel tears pricking my eyes.
At this rate, I’ll have to drink denature!
Advertisement
Bastion Academy Series
For Jiyong, Bastion Academy is more than just a school for magic in the heart of the kingdom… It’s his chance to pursue the secrets of the ancient ones’ machines and get his family out of the poverty-stricken outer-city. His acceptance letter in hand, Jiyong is sure nothing will stand in the way of his dreams. When a street brawl lands him in a coma only weeks into the year, his chances of graduating are all but shot. With an unlikely digital companion, he’ll have to rebuild his magic core and catch up on all his classes, or risk being dropped from the academy at the end of the year. But kingdom life is not like the outer-cities, and kingdom kids are far more ruthless about who they’ll allow to climb to the top. Jiyong will have to train hard and fight for every score to make it in this wealthy academy for powerful families, all while supporting his own from afar. Release Schedule: 1 Chapter a day, Monday-Friday.
8 150The Two-faced Otaku
On the front line of the war, there’s a little boy. White hair, red eyes and porcelain white skin, he commands an army of different races. He is called Kei Von Deaux. In the past he was called Haru, he is from Earth one of the so called perfect ikimen. Always good in class, sports and is also good in using musical instruments but was reborn as a little boy after he was killed by truck-san with 72 killing streaks and end up meeting a mysterious old man who calls himself “God.” And this little boy, who is actually otaku on the inside decided to dominate the world. He wanted to try conquering this new world using his newly acquired power - OTAKU SYSTEM
8 230The Interconnectedness of Knowledge
please don't expect this to be a coherent story because this is only a form of mental dump for me to destress the mind and heart for my healthy well being. If your interested in reading my ideas as a form of reference to your work, please put a shout out to my page,
8 126the Mana-Wilds (A Golarionite Odyssey) # 2: Dreams of Water
Katheer, Golden and Glorious, the once-proud Jewel of the East isnow the Oasis to a thousand souls who still cling upon hope. But now, those souls lay appetent with thirst as a verminous presence threatens to cut the life-giving waters of the city's only open water source, the Azure Canal. With the help of a Mexican Vaquero, a Merfolk Corsair, and an incurious Half-Genie Bard, can Team X-Ray get to the bottom of the nightmarish streets of Katheer before it is too late?Or will the Dream of rebuilding a better tomorrow be eroded by the lapping tides of the encroaching ocean? (Cover made by me using Picsart, Photoscape X and EldritchDreams Royalty Free Art)
8 94The Elven God (Hiatus)
Follow an Elven man who has awoken to a different time that he knows nothing about anymore. He who has lost everything that's important to him only because of one selfish reason he made long ago. Watch as he changes the lives of those around him as he journeys into this now forgotten world that he once knew. Will he bring the maw of darkness? Will he bring the light of life? Or will he stay in the shadows to control everything as he sets up his webs of secrecy? Maybe he'll just watch as the known races of this world evolve into something glorious?WARNING: The Fiction's story will be going in a VERY slow moving pace, so beware if you're going to read it. A lot of tragedy in this. ALL kinds of Mature Content will be shown, so beware, again.
8 60The Tattooist
I walked into the clean, wide tattoo shop, to find a large red head lady sitting at the counter at her computer.As I walked up, she smiled and asked who I was booked for."I'm here for my thigh, Johnny William"Smiling nervously at her wide grin.I saw a very tall, tanned well built man over near the tattoo seating.Putting his black plastic gloves on, then he looked over his shoulder directly at me.A small, evil smirk sunk into my soul.And his piercing rich green eyes darkened.
8 86