I tried many things.

Sneaking around the ward, pickpocketing nurses, smuggling myself with the trash...unfortunately, all my attempts to break out of the ward, much less break into the hospital pharmacy where medications were deposited, ended up in failure upon failure.

Finally, I was forced to admit that my ambitions are realistically unrealistic, my DEX is simply too low to be a good rogue(pink floyd bonus wore off long ago).

And so, I went back to Sadie to beg her to steal medications for me.

“Sadie! Please get me some dope! I’m willing to pay….” oh boy oh man oh yes now kamasutra master perk will show its worth “WITH MY BODY!”

She looked at me with disgust and smirked.

“I’m not interested in your body, unless you’re offering to sell your internal organs, then I know just the market…”

….what?

“But, if you want me to sneak out some surplus meds for you, you can pay me with money and then we’ll talk~”

……………………….

And several days after that, they released me from the hospital.

Sadie is as her name implies, and the prices she charged for prescription meds are atrocious! I don’t have such money on me, I’m just a teen, and I can’t even steal from my mom as she doesn’t have much money either.

….still, it’s good to know that I have a possible vendor relatively nearby. Maybe Grimm will be interested, and I’ll be the middle man, taking a cut of the profits on the way….

A new business venture played out in my mind, and my heart beat faster in anticipation of incoming rubles. However, dark shadow cast its dark shadow over my heart…

Why didn’t ‘kama sutra master’ perk work?

……………

I tried going to semi public places such as the city park, shopping mall and the swimming pool and tell pick up lines to the jade beauties that often frequent such locations.

However, each and every time…

“Kyaaa!”

Oo sounds good!

“SECURITY!”

Aaaaaaa run!!!!

Rinse and repeat over dozen times.

Finally I gave up when some angry boyfriend who looked like he had [STR] and [END] for brains caught me and gave me not one, but two black eyes.

For fucks sake, these boyfriends are getting stronger and stronger! Maybe the world levels up together with me?

…………..

On the other hand, Little Cat Long Dongina-er’s erp career accelerated.

Previously I’d only have one or two partners, and they alway stopped messaging me after a couple of days, sometimes not saying anything, and sometimes calling me a fag and telling me to kill myself.

(Of course, I was angry to have my waifu persona called such slurs, they should tell me this irl and not online and see what happens! They’d get not one, but two black eyes!)

But now, almost two dozen people are actively engaging with Little Cat...ah, let’s call her LCLDer, I’m tired of typing the full name down each time.

And today one of them send me 5$ to my patreon.

5$ is…..like...well, in America it’s not much, but here you can buy a whole bottle of vodka for that.

So I was happy, but….a sneaking suspicion kicked in. What if all this is caused by my new perk? But how? And why?

So I messaged Grimm to confine in my best friend(aside from Vanya that is).

[Say what is the perk’s description again?]

[Ignore physical stats in sex related dialog]

[Long Dong, you are not only a fool, but also an idiot!]

[Why you shit talking me, bro!?]

[Think think (meme image here). If your physical stats are ignored, that means…]

[They are treated as if they were max?]

[No you retard. They are perma set to 0]

WHAAAAAAT

[So any bonus you could have gotten from them irl is ignored, your charisma and speech related skills are the only factors that matters…]

[Wait how is this good?]

[It’s a perk meant for Ugly Bastards whose appearence only disfavors them. That wasn’t you until now. Also…]

Wait, wait wait…..

[When you’re sitting in your cat ears and pink wig plastered on your gopnik manface, until now it had a rather comical effect. But after you got the perk, your physical stats, meaning your appearance, are ignored….]

Wait, wait, wait a minute, stop…..

The terrible truth sank in faster than Titanic, and for the rest of the day, I was drowning my sorrows in the bottle of Finlandia I purchased for these 5$ from one of my fans….

...well, on the other hand...this isn’t so bad...5$ is 5$...right?