-’Fucking dph I wasn’t ready I still see spiders and there are voices coming out of my fan’

...is the tl;dr version of Grimm’s message. After talking a bit about the joys of /del/ving, he went to the meat of the matter so to speak.

Apparently, there is a new miracle powder on the market. It has such potency, that it allows one to break through multiple bottlenecks at once and reach new levels of cultivation unseen before.

You might wonder, how does Grimm know it?

Well, he’s a higher educational institution dropout neet who lives with his parents. He also gets autismbucks* from the government.

*(not actually for autism, just a general term for disability money, no one gets paid for having autism in this country)

This means he’s an adult, he has bank accounts and deals in cryptocurrencies, and often buys new magic concoctions that appear on the market.

He sometimes sends me so some of the new products he’s too afraid to test on himself, for free! I am to use them and report the results back to him.

Since I’m still alive, you can imagine that so far our agreement worked like a charm.

The process of retrieval is very much like a video game.

He sends me a photo of a hiding spot where the courier left the treasure, and my task is to receive it in an assigned time window, without attracting the attention of undesirable elements such as the city guards and arrogant young masters.

As always, I agree to the deal and we set the date of trade several days from now.

[New quest: retrieve the dope]

This should be the end of the chapter.

However, so far it’s way too short.

Therefore, just like many other professional litrpg authors, I’m gonna throw a bunch of blue boxes now and babble about the system just to increase the word count.

First, let’s see what I leveled up since the last time I showed you my stats.

[Str:5]

[Dex:6]

[End:7]

[Int:7]

[Chr:7]

[Luck: 12]

As you can see, I have my priorities straight. Like my father used to say, you don’t need skills or education to succeed in life, only luck. Taking these pearls of wisdom to heart, in my cultivation, I focus on this most important stat.

As for skill points, I leveled up Liver some more, and also Nose.

Leveling up the Nose skill is very important because a lot of magical powders are absorbed that way into one’s meridians.

I suspect that Grimm’s new dust might have to go that way too, so by strengthening the Nose beforehand I betray extreme levels of foresight that border on precognition, and leave myself in shock and awe.

I am also very excited. Currently, I am level 3. At the next level I will get a perk!!

Also, at level 5 ill be able to choose a subclass.

Right now, my class is 1A, but this will change as I grow stronger.

Leveling up some more will also allow me to utilize my newly unlocked Necromancy skill tree, which although looking very interesting, has all of its skills locked behind minimal level and stat requirements.

Last but not least, I should mention that since I obtained my first jade beauty( Little Long Dogina-er for all you people with bad memory) my desire to obtain additional jade beauties decreased exponentially.

Perhaps I should satisfy myself with monogamy for now? Or maybe she’s the main girl of this story, and others will just be extras?

For now, I decided to interact with her more and get to know her. To that end, I made an account on a very reputable site called f-list, where I created her profile and engage in philosophical discourse with other users on daily basis.

Since, I am ashamed to admit, I’m not sure how the first member of my harem is supposed to look like, I put an anime girl with pink (girl color) hair as her temporary profile picture, and am saving money as we speak to purchase a wig.

Last but not least, this novel has far too little onomatopoeia for what it aims to be, so here is some spam to fill the quota:

Ding ding ding bam bam whoosh wham shoo shoo wham ding ding ding ding ratatata

Suddenly, I hear my mother screaming hysterically from the kitchen. I dunno what happened and I dun care

Ding ding ding bam bam whoosh wham shoo shoo wham ding ding ding ding WHAM DING BANG BANG BANG BANG DING BANG BANG BANG BANG