《Hunting for jade beauties~ A trash novel》1. Running from the janny!
Advertisement
I swung open the door to my classroom.
"Where jade beauties at!?"
Unfortunately, there were no jade beauties in my classroom, because I was attending male-only Juvenile Reform School for Difficult Youth Under the Calling of Saint Nicholaous, also known as Santa's Asshole.
"The fuck you're talking about retard" said some balding guy 2 years older than me and rose up from his chair to beat me up.
So I took flight and ran away! I was slimmer therefore faster! Ultra galactic speed!
"Wait the fuck up" he shouted somewhere behind me, huffing and puffing. Ahaha serves you right moron!
[Moron escaped, +10 exp in running!]
Said the blue box. I've started seeing blue boxes after overdosing on popular gatcha game I played on my potato pc(because my parents won't buy a console or a phone and besides a smartphone would end up broken or stolen anyway considering my unorthodox lifestyle). So I'm a pc gamer, fuck yeah!
And now I'm on a hunt for jade beauties, to build my harem!
[Quest: build a harem]
It's the main quest of this story! Until it's done and it's time to find another main quest just to keep producing chapters and shill fans for $ on Patreon.
For now, I need to...
Quest: [Escape school]
Goddammit, these blue boxes are getting a bit obnoxious!
The school was guarded by a fucking janitor, I kid you not. He was a fat man eating burgers and sipping on coffee and vodka all day long in a little office next to the main and only official exit from the school. He had a large button there which he had to press to temporarily release the electric lock on the door.
I decided to attempt persuasion.
"Yo dude let me out my grandpa is sick need to buy some cough medicine for him!"
Advertisement
He inhaled through his yellowed teeth and then answered me sternly
"Fuck off, addict"
[Persuation: failed! +1 persuasion exp]
"Let me out or I will kill your entire family!"
Hearing that he took out a fucking gun, holy shit it's a gun, run!
[Intimidation: failed +1 intimidation exp]
[Quest: escape the fatso!]
I run as fast as I could, and before I noticed I was already in school's courtyard.
You know, that place behind the school where two or three playing fields are. Or actually, oval parchments of ground that served as playing grounds, none of them were paved or had soccer goals or basketball hoop, if we ever played such games during the PE we would just bring cones and call it a day.
Of course, the more crafty individuals just cheated and after setting their cones 'accidently' moved them up to decrease their width etc. normal shit. No one cared.
The courtyard was surrounded by stone fence with barbed wire on top of it. It was meant to prevent us from escaping the school during the hours, but no one gave a shit because a section of the fence was knocked out and there was a path leading outside.
Now that I think about it, I should have come here in the first place instead of wasting my time on a fatso. But this is quite a roundabout way of leaving the school, and I feel tired already!
[Quest succeeded: fatso escaped! +10 running]
Thanks bluebox, I noticed.
Ok, let's go outside! To find jade beauties!
I looked at the moon. Now, you may wonder, why the hell is the moon visible if its 1 pm? Well, the answer to that question is I dunno, it has something to do with meteorology I think, but the bottom line is that it's sometimes visible, man. During the day. Though of course its not as shiny as during the night!
Advertisement
I pointed my fist towards the moon
"One day, you bastard...!"
I dunno why I've done that, I thought it was a cool thing to say. To be clear, I have nothing against the moon. I've never even been there, and I'm not a very judgmental person.
Advertisement
- In Serial38 Chapters
Isekai Butler [Hiatus pending rewrite]
This is not the first time Blanc’s been summoned to an Isekai. It’s not even the fifth, or the tenth, and by now, he’s seen nearly everything. Backstabbing Mages, Surprisingly Sane Demon Lords, Misunderstood Evil Villains, Plotting Princesses….not only is it boring, it’s exhausting! His latest destination is the land of Excelsia, but the System seems to have updated recently. His progress? Gone. His Skills? Vanished! His Hero Class? Completely wiped from existence. And yet, maybe the new Ultra-Rare "Butler" class that Blanc has been bestowed with has some hidden tricks after all? All Blanc knows is that he has a job to do, and Butlerdom is a lot more complex than he might have imagined. On Hiatus for now: I'm going to spend a few months trying to clean up the plot and grammar a bit more before re-publishing it. Thank you all for the time, comments, feedback and the journey. Feel free to message me on my Discord at Nooblet121#8431 Happy reading to everyone!
8 135 - In Serial6 Chapters
Reborn as a grain of sand
Jack highlands is a serial killer and has finally been captured after killing hundreds of people. When he is placed in prison he is killed by one of the guards. His soul meets his god and is given the option to be reborn. He agrees to be reborn to discover that he is reborn as a grain of sand???
8 113 - In Serial30 Chapters
No Matter What, I Will Get Back Home!
Yokoyama Kamiko is just a seventeen year old NEET, living her life in a self-destructive way and letting herself go deeper into a cycle of self-hate. One day, after a terrible incident, she meets God. She is then given an ultimatum: be transported into her favorite RPG 'Chronologia: Alter Salvation' and defeat the big bad boss of the game for the chance to be returned back to Earth, or be forever damned. After finding herself stuck as a baby, she knew that to survive and get back home she would have to clear the game. By any means necessary.
8 136 - In Serial20 Chapters
The Noble House of Set
1000 years ago, 30 warriors each followers of different Gods were summoned on the world of Trinux . for the first time in years they decided to stop fighting each other and each took their respective paths of conquest with their descendants, bound to clash many years later. this story takes place on the house of Set, where Lord Geld and all his vassals awaited the birth of his Heir .
8 64 - In Serial7 Chapters
The demon of the past
In the darkness of a tomb lies a lone sarcophagus. In it sleeps a demon who's name is unknown.One day a maiden releases the seal of the tomb and the demon is free once again. This story is about a demons adventure through a changed world.New cover by wollwerine all credits go to him :D http://wollwerine.deviantart.comHad to compress and change the resolution for it to fit on here but check out the full version on his deviant art :)Don't read this if you're offended by poop:It is my first fiction by the way so hop on the hate waggon and file a review talking about all the shit i did which was wrong and tell me how to fix it.
8 104 - In Serial26 Chapters
The Once Simple Life of a Dungeon Skeleton
A simple dungeon skeleton whose sole job was to stand in a tunnel on the first floor of a dungeon and die to any adventurers that cross his path finally gets the chance to change his life.First time writing so criticism is always welcome to help improve my writing. Edit: As of 30/9/16 I'm going to start continuing this series and hopefully finish it. I'm going to be editing the current chapters before I start writing the new ones. It might take a few weeks for new chapters to show up depending on how much time I have to write.
8 72

