There was another rumble from outside the door, when it opened Lady Azodii-Denebola exploded into the room, her bloodshot eyes bulging. She pointed at me and screamed:

"WHY ARE THEY ALIVE?" She looked at Major Kale and Doctor Sylk. "WHY? WHY HAVE THEY NOT BEEN GUTTED YET?"

"Lady Denebola," Sylk's voice was soft, but I could see the tablet in his hands starting to tremble. "The Earth attorneys, uh, the prisoners, they will need to be formally charged -"

Parksnip Oato rushed into the room, struggling against his cane and out of breath, as if Lady Denebola had gotten past him.

"You Highness! Wait – "

Oato had changed clothes since the Heart Ceremony, which is to say, he added clothes; he was no longer just in a speedo, he was wearing a high-cut jacket and gray slacks that could have been informal military garb. Oato looked sideways across his scarred cheek at Henry and I, who stood bruised, bound and shackled.

"Must I do everything myself?" Lady Denebola shrieked. "There is an eager crowd outside, Parksnip. Eager to tear apart these spies, these murderers –"

"We have laws on this planet, your Highness!" Premier Oato said.

"You should have at least killed this one," Lady Denebola pointed her sixth finger at my forehead as Major Kale tossed me back onto the ground. "I understand sparing Henry Todd, for the moment. He's owed a trial, I suppose. He does have a television show."

"Lady Denebola, please," Parksnip Oato's voice was gently scolding, like he was talking to a child. Or negotiating with a hostage taker. "Leave the prisoners alone. This is a delicate situation. We have the Slatt Empire to consider."

"OH, THE HELL WITH THE SLATT EMPIRE!" Lady Denebola started toward me, but Oato physically blocked her. She continued to scream over his shoulder. "Let me rip that stupid oxygenator filter right off of his squishy little face!"

"The Premier is right, Lady Denebola," Major Kale clapped an empathetic hand onto Denebola's shoulder. "There is a process. We must respect it."

Lady Denebola nodded and took a step backward, after a few seconds, she inhaled, stiffened and regained her composure. "Premier Oato, I would like to formally levy charges against Henry Todd and Evander Marshall of Earth. They will answer to charges of conspiracy against Azodii, sedition, treason, and murder of an Azodii citizen."

"Agreed," Premier Oato said. "We will begin deliberations in front of the Tribunal next week."

"Next week?!" I blurted out, my hands rattling against the chains.

"The prisoners shall remain confined to this cell until then."

"Premier Oato, Lady Denebola, please –" Lady Denebola stood in front of me as I sputtered, she crossed her arms impatiently.

"Do you know, Mr. Marshall," she leaned toward my oxygenator mask, blue lips fogging the duck-bill tip. "What the punishment is for murdering an Azodii?"

I shook my head. "Exile," she said.

I heard Henry breathe a sigh of relief. "Lady Denebola, I assure you that we haven't killed any Azodii. But I can see that we've caused a lot of trouble. Marsh and I have no qualms about leaving Azodii and finishing our negotiations remotely."

I nodded. "Yes. I mean, Lord Farkvold will be disappointed. But we can skip the trial altogether, just to make things easier. Henry and I will exile ourselves right now, and we can discuss the rest at a later time."

Lady Denebola gave a sly smile as I continued. "Could you arrange for an energy portal to send us back to Slatt Council Territory? I figure the people of Azodii probably want us gone sooner than later. Right?"

"I think your molar translators are… misinterpreting our use of the word exile." Parksnip Oato's voice was dry. "If the Tribunal sentences you to exile, it means we banish you from the city. Immediately."

Oato leaned into his cane and pointed ahead, toward the great glass wall and the frozen wasteland beyond. Outside, a dark creature the size of a small airplane, with oily wings and a pointed beak, circled overhead. It swooped toward a snow drift and perched for a moment on top of a column of ice, red eyes glowing underneath a dark plume, scanning the snow below.

"Oh, I get it," Henry said. "We get pushed out into the cold until we freeze to death. That makes more sense."

"Not quite," Lady Denebola said. "You won't have a chance to freeze to death. The frost vultures will get to you first. Do you know how frost vultures seek out their prey? They smell warmth. They can smell the warmth of your body from twenty kilometers away."

Staring into the frozen surface of Azodii made me shudder. I was already starting to feel the cold again. Lady Denebola continued her horrible fantasy of our demise:

"Even after your skin is frozen, and your muscles have seized and stopped working, the frost vultures can sniff out your warmth – the warmth your gut, the dying heat from your heart. That's where the vultures will start when they attack, when they start pecking at you, picking you to pieces." Lady Denebola smiled. "They'll go right for the innards. The warm parts…"

"Are we allowed to speak on our behalf?" Henry asked.

"Speak, Henry Todd of Earth." Premier Oato said, the scarred side of his face wrinkled as he spoke. "Say your piece."

"Premier Oato, Lady Denebola," Henry got to his feet and cleared his throat. "The tie came from Earth. Marsh bought it at a department store, a store that sells clothing."

A distant ringing noise started, soft at first and then building in volume, like an approaching car siren. Kale and Oato looked around, annoyed, while Henry ignored it and continued:

"Marsh bought the tie because he thought the color was eye-catching. Of course, he had never been to Azodii, and he had never met anyone from Azodii. So there was absolutely no way for him to know that the color was the same as Azodii blood -"

"WHAT IS THAT GODDAMN NOISE?" Lady Denebola shouted over the goddamn noise, a blaring horn that grew louder as the seconds ticked by.

Unfortunately, I recognized the sound. So did Henry.

"Are our clothes in here?" Henry asked. Major Kale marched to a brown pile of torn and dusty clothes in the corner, the remains of Henry's herringbone suit. She picked up the armless blazer and fished Henry's vibrating and blinking cell phone out of the interior pocket.

"It's Lord Farkvold, trying to contact us," I said. "We were going to speak later tonight, so Henry and I could update him on the acquisition negotiations."

"Perhaps I should take the call," Oato said. "I would like assurance from Farkvold that the Slatt Empire is not colluding with Planet Bob!" Premier Oato made a quick and violent rocking gesture with both hands, the other Azodii in the room followed with the same obscene gesture.

"Premier, we are not in league with the Bob!" Henry made a pathetic and unsuccessful attempt to emulate the fuck-Bob gesture.

"Lord Farkvold hates the Bob!" I yelled over the ear-piercing ringtone. "He told me himself!"

"Is this true?" said Parksnip Oato.

"The exact word he used was unpleasant," I said. "But, you know. The way he said it was really menacing."

"And for Lord Farkvold, that's saying a lot." Henry added.

The ringing and vibrating stopped, the phone suddenly went dead. Major Kale tucked Henry's silent cell into a pocket at her belt.

"He'll probably call me next," I said. The shredded remains of my charcoal suit and dress suit were in a pile on the ground, next to Henry's destroyed clothes. Major Kale Bent down to pick through the fabric and find my phone. She rifled through the torn pockets, then stopped when her fingers touched something.

"Lady Denebola," Kale said quietly as she turned. The Vicchady tie, ripped and covered in dirt, was draped in-between her hands like a holy shroud. At the sight of it, Lady Denebola gasped and turned away, sobbing.

"We should bury it." Major Kale said.

Parksnip Oato closed his eyes and nodded. "The remains of our beloved Zerk shall lie in honor in the Main Hall. We will display the… cloth for viewing. I shall declare one week of national mourning, and then a royal funeral."

"Thank you, Parksnip," Lady Denebola managed in-between sniffles.

"We'll delay the trial of the Earth attorneys," Oato said. "We can start the week after next, once the mourning period is over."

Henry and I looked at one another, silently panicking. Two weeks until trial! I wasn't sure how we would survive, or how I would explain a two-week disappearance to Denise.