The actor playing Gar-Mel of Hon stood at the base of the statue. His hand was bracing a large mechanism that looked like a drill or a jackhammer, with a tapered end that pointed into the floor of the stage.

"People of Azodii, behold!" Gar-Mel exclaimed. "This instrument is a Nuclear Lithospheric Borer. I shall use it to crack open the crust of Planet Azodii, and drill down into the molten layer of liquid metal and gas!"

Gar-Mel flipped a switch and the machine roared to life. Stagecraft sparks and fog-machine smoke filled the air as Gar-Mel leaned into the Borer, drilling down into the stage floor.

"It is working!" Gar-Mel stopped drilling and turned to other actors on stage who were watching the action. "I can already feel the heat of the planet's core! But I have much more work to do. I shall need to be more comfortable!"

In a move worthy of a Chippendales show, Gar-Mel reached across his torso and, with a single movement, ripped off his spacesuit. He was left wearing only loincloth briefs and a proud smile. The audience whooped and cheered as Gar-Mel grabbed the Lithospheric Borer and struck a pose identical to the oversized statue behind him.

"This is all I need to wear! We do not need layers of clothing on the great sun-planet of Hon!" The applause died down as Gar-Mel set back to work, drilling further and further into the stage until finally, a vertical column of red light burst from below the stage floor.

"Avert your eyes, people of Azodii!" Gar-Mel stopped drilling and turned to King Azodii-All. "King Azodii-All, I have reached the core, the heart of your planet. For the first time, you and your people may feel the warmth of your beautiful world!"

The actors playing the King and Queen approached the column of light. "It is warm! Stranger from Hon, you were right!"

"You must build structures to capture and trap the heat," Gar-Mel said. "Build quickly and carefully, King Azodii-All, and your people will never again suffer the Frost."

"Great Gar-Mel of Hon," the Queen spoke for the first time. "How can we ever repay you? Please stay with us on Azodii, and we shall make you royalty!"

"Oh, no thanks," Gar-Mel said, dropping the Lithospheric Borer and looking up to the heavens. "I have other planets to explore. The universe is very large, your Highness. And other worlds need my help."

"You will always be welcome on Azodii, great Gar-Mel," said the actor who was King. "We shall tell the tale of your wisdom, your intelligence, and your generosity for ages to come."

The stage went black, except for a lone spotlight on the Narrator.

"Gar-Mel of Hon quietly left Azodii that night, refusing all offers of payment and expressions of gratitude.

"King Azodii-All followed the advice of Gar-Mel. Using core heat from the heart of the planet, the royal Palace felt warmth for the first time.

"King Azodii-All ordered the construction of an insulated dome to surround the Palace grounds. And so, the great dome was built. And then expanded. And expanded again, and again, and again.

"Core-heat technology was brought to the other four cities of Azodii. More domes were built. Millions of lives that would have perished in the cold were allowed to flourish under the warmth of the heart of Azodii.

"We remember Gar-Mel, and celebrate him each year by opening the Heart Chamber – portal to the heart of Azodii."

The spotlight moved over to the large statue of Gar-Mel.

"That's my cue," Parksnip Oato clapped a hand on my shoulder and pushed his way in front of me. "Excuse me, earth attorneys. Pardon me, Lady Denebola." Oato made his way to the aisle and bounced down the steps, waving to the crowd as he made his way to the lip of the stage.

"Welcome, friends!" Oato said once he stepped onto the stage. "To the one hundred and fifty-second Heart Ceremony!" There was a roar of applause, the antler-wearing crowd in the Main Hall raised their cups of Tchugg and cheered.

"Are you ready for the Great Warmth?" Parksnip walked to the sandal-clad stone foot of the statue of Gar-Mel. I noticed, for the first time, a small wheel and the outline of a door jutting from Gar-Mel's big toe.

"Get ready," Lady Denebola said to Henry, who was smiling uncontrollably under the influence of Tchugg. "It's about to get really hot in here!"

On stage, Premier Oato was turning the wheel on top of the toe, opening to the valve to the heart of Azodii. I realized that this was the perfect moment:

"Hey Henry," I said, unzipping my red jacket. "What do you think of my new tie?"

Henry turned slowly, and his eyes landed on the Vicchady tie. His reaction was everything I hoped for: his eyes bugged from his head, his jaw dropped like a cartoon character.

"Woooowww…" he reached for the tie instinctually, then stopped himself before his fingers touched the orange crepe. "Is that a…? Wowwy woww…"

Premier Oato opened the chamber door on the statue's toe; the Main Hall burst with a red glow, and an intense, dry heat blew hard into our faces. The light from the stage was blinding, but Henry wasn't even trying to look. He was still transfixed, staring directly at my chest, at the Vicchady tie.

"It's a Vicchady!" I yelled. It felt like we were trapped inside a hair dryer.

"Wowww…" Henry said again. It was unlike Henry to be at a loss for words. I wondered if he was genuinely impressed, or if he was just out of his gourd from too much Tchugg.

"Marsh, Marshy Marsh Marsh… Wow. I didn't think you had it in you!" Henry laughed. "It's awesome! Look at that color!"

I was still feeling some of the effects of the Tchugg as well, because the orange of the tie looked even brighter, even stranger under the red glow from the heart of the planet. The color swirled and jumped, melted and morphed, drooped and dripped and drizzled, alive in the pattern on the tie.

Henry was still staring into my tie when I realized that someone nearby was screaming. Not a cheerful scream of celebration – a loud, agonizing scream of horror.

It was Lady Denebola.

"Oh God, no!! No! Why?" Lady Denebola shrieked.

The red glow disappeared and the portal on stage was closed. There was a rush and rumble of chaos in the Main Hall; something had gone terribly wrong.

Henry turned to Lady Denebola, "What is it? What's wrong –"

"Oh, ohhh!" she wailed and turned to run from Henry. "Oh, my poor Zerk!"

There was more shouting and screaming. I turned to search for an exit, but the crowd seemed to close in on Henry and me. That was when I realized that everyone, the entire room of antler-clad blue-skinned Azodii, were staring and pointing directly at us.

Voices rose around us: "Blasphemy!" "Murder!" "Savages!" "Seize them!"

Henry dropped his cup of Tchugg as hands reached for us, pushing and grabbing. Someone strong caught hold of both of my wrists and pulled them hard behind me, I managed to turn my head enough to catch a glimpse of Major Kale, with her face snarled and twisted.

"Sacrilege!" "Murderers!" "This is an outrage!" "Grab them!"

There were hands around my neck, the sound of fabric being torn. My face hit the floor right next to Henry's, our oxygenator masks thankfully intact and inches from one another. Hands, bodies and fists pinned us to the ground, Henry was coughing to catch his breath after having the wind knocked out of him.

"What the hell happened?" I shouted over the cacophony as Kale bound my wrists with a metal clamp. "What did we do?"

Henry struggled to inhale before answering. "It's your tie, Marsh," he said hoarsely "They're going to kill us because of your tie!"