Listen, I wasn’t infallible in my early years, and even now, I’m not even close to perfect. My friend had just jumped me, and I was so shocked that I let it happen. Before she jumped me, I had felt like a god among men. With my power, nothing was impossible.

I think Silent thought I was going to die and wanted to preserve me in some way. That’s what I hoped drove her to mate with me with such feverous need. With every fiber of my being, I want that to be the case. If it was love for me and not greed for my genetics that drove, her I could forgive her. By the time I gathered the courage to return to Flank Town, it no longer existed.

Years upon years have changed the name on maps numerous times. Technology has improved, and hundreds of cities populate the vast area where Flank Town once stood. A conqueror of user descent drove a railroad through the city and renamed it Way Town. The council of four was deposed by my own descendants, and they sold the once-proud city-state to the conqueror and left for the North.

…

I assessed the situation. Then, when bloody bits of centaurs rained down, and the escort company seemed ready to break, I stood up. We were probably seconds away from a full-blown route by enemy combatants.

The fastest way to Bridle was through the Gem Rd through the valley of a steep canyon. Orange mesas stood tall overhead with smaller sand dunes dotted across the desert. Rough patches of grass covered the ground with the occasional hidden springs or wells along the road to Bridle. Deep into the canyon valley bed was a stream supposed to give us enough water to stretch our rations for a week. Any other roads or wilderness travel would turn our journey into a desperate month-long trip. I’m sure the captain and his company of centaurs knew that.

While they were all strong, proud centaurs, they weren’t ready to see their own comrades blow up. Theoretically, they should have known it was possible. Failing to correctly balance mana caused a wand to explode. It wouldn’t take much to make an enchanted object that exploded when disturbed. If they knew where we had to go, then setting up a minefield was an easy solution.

My hand flashed when I sensed a disturbance in the air. A round smashed into my palm, flattening and pushing my hand back. The carriage rocked as I saw a dinner plate-sized wound open in the sides of several centaurs.

Boom!

Moments after the mines went off, the Fed scouts must have already marked their targets and fired. 12 Centaurs bled out rapidly, and the captain galloped forward controlled by either his instincts or some faulty tactic. More rounds blasted my way, striking me like gnats on a windshield.

I tossed a few Heavy Fireballs into the nearby sand dunes to throw sand in the air and hopefully throw off their aim. The carriage jerked forward when I hit the accelerator. Kale shook her eyes wide as she looked to the fleeing centaurs and exploding mines to the dead and dying centaurs on the ground.

“Follow behind the carriage,” I yelled.

The carriage would hopefully set off any mines the stampede of centaurs didn’t set off. I drove forward as several tons of carriage ran over the corpses of unlucky centaurs. The damn thing didn’t have any shock support, and the wooden seat began to crack as the bumps smashed it against my ass. Before we made it into the shadow of the canyon, I’d already made an impression in the seat.

A lucky bullet smashed into my temple and bounced off. These were obviously armor-piercing rounds by what they did to the centaurs’ heavy plate. Explosions continued to rock through the canyon as we power through it.

I turned my eyes upward when a round bounced off my tooth. Before I knew it, Heavy Fireball Bullets had already appeared in my hands and fired. The round reminded me of the time an acorn hit me in a tooth. Every blast struck with deadly efficiency exploding and collapsing parts of the canyon as we passed through the valley.

Broken electrical parts fell from above, smashing down into the valley below with the falling rocks. When I could, I fired a second fireball to break up the falling rocks. If rocks fell in front of us, I blasted them to bits too, clearing the way.

It was noon when I stopped hearing the detonation of landmines and stopped shooting fireballs whenever I saw a glint of steel. We slowed down and parked the carriage near the mouth of a cave.

I looked Kale up and down. Sweat poured down her face, and her hair was a dirt-filled mess. I probably didn’t look much better.

“They put a hole in my waterskin; it slowed their shot down enough to stop at my armor,” Kale said.

I walked over to her side and moved the empty water skin to the side. There was a dent in her plate. Kale had a shit ton of gold to spend and bought a set of the heavily enchanted heavy plate at 10,000 ounces of gold. But, even it hadn’t been enough to easily shrug off the round.

What felt like a minor annoyance to me could kill her with ease. I turned and punched a hole in the rock wall of the cave entrance. Steam bubbled up from the rock, encasing my hand as the rock cracked and shattered.

Kale back away from me with undisguised fear in her eyes. I could sense it her nerves were already shot, and the day had exhausted her; if I didn’t get my shit together, she’d bolt and probably die of exhaustion.

I sucked in a series of deep breathes before regaining some of my calm. “We aren’t beaten, we still have Nia, and they’ve run out of landmines. If anything, we’ve made better time. Come on, I’ll share my water with you, and maybe we can find one of those pack mares along the way.” I said.

She took my water and gulped down two gallons worth. That left me with 20 gallons of water in my inventory. So, we weren’t doing too bad.

After another hour of rest, we cautiously continued our journey. The canyon valley was covered in the corpses of horses and centaurs. Some survived the minefield only to catch a stray bullet or shrapnel from a nearby mine and bled out.

“Red, we have a survivor,” Kale said.

I turned to see a centaur. I thought dead twitch and shift. Kale froze in front of the body. A worm ripped out of the centaur’s ass and shot towards my friend.

She centaur mage lashed out with her hand catching the creature mid-strike. The creature shrieked, and she fried it with a burst of electricity.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I don’t know, and I don’t know what it was doing inside a stallion,” Kale said.

“Let me hold it.”

She handed me the creature, and I inspected it as best I could. From touching it, I could tell it wasn’t very sturdy, and it had the centaur stallion’s face. I heard a squelching sound from the corpse as more large white worms burst from it. Finally, the centaur corpse’s legs moved, and it opened its eyes.

“It’s not my time to die.” Once dead centaur said.

The centaur struggled to his feet even as giant worms wiggled out of his ass. He turned to one of the mare corpses, stood up, and lunged for it. Formerly normal hands raked through hide with black claws extended from the centaur’s fingertips. It pried free the mare’s intestines and began to slurp them out of the corpse. One of the worms crawled toward the carrion meal, only for the centaur to grab the foot-long worm and slurp it down.

I raised my hand and formed a Fireball. “If you don’t explain what’s going on quickly, I’ll cut your second life short,” I said.

The centaur smiled around a mouthful of bloody guts. “We knew this was a suicide mission, and we were running into an ambush. The captain told us that we probably wouldn’t come back from it. But we still needed to warn the republic. So, we infested ourselves with a symbiote that is really good at keeping its host alive.” The centaur said.

I thought about blowing him up and ending this nonsense. After all, fire was damn good at getting rid of things I didn’t like.

Before I could come to a decision, Kale spoke up. “I know what these worms are; they were supposed to be destroyed. No dark lord would tolerate their existence.” Kale said.

“Well, if the dark lord has an issue, they can tell me themselves. They don’t need some virgin princess to speak for them. We aren’t humans.” The centaur turned his attention to me. “I’m afraid this mare won’t be enough to satisfy my cravings. The worms need sweeter meat than horse flesh.” I flicked a small Fireball at the centaur only to see the watch the flames flicker out.

“Our armor specializes in fire magic rumors said it was your favorite.” The centaur jeered with a laugh.

“Ah, so you’re retarded.” I said as a much denser Fireball appeared in my hand.

The Heavy Fireball crashed into the centaur’s armored chest knocking him backward ass over teakettle. I lowered my hand and walked after him. No, I didn’t blame them for having a contingency plan for death. Anything that wanted to eat me needed to die.

“Aren’t you glad you specialized in keeping my Fireballs from burning you? I mean, everyone knows all I have is Fireball; if you can negate that, then I’m done for.” I said.

My spectral hand punched through the centaur’s human chest and cursed the man’s heart. He screamed as black lines covered his face. The centaur’s mohawk turned ghostly white, and the worms shot out of his ass in rapid-fire. Blows from my spectral hands pulped the worms before they hit the ground.

With the worms out of his body, he quickly melted down into a puddle of black filth and armor.

I turned to a stunned Kale. She straightened up when our eyes met. “You’re amazing no one is a match for you, Red. I think you could even become the next dark lord if your political power matched your strength.” Kale said.

She was obviously trying to butter me up. But from Kale, it worked. “Thanks for the compliment. I’m glad we continued our journey even if everything is falling apart. So, do the symbionts make them any stronger, or do they just become more annoying?” I asked.

Kale stared down at her breasts. “He lied; the worms are parasites. At first, they appear to resurrect the host and heal them. For the first few days, the host even retains most of their mind. After that, it takes time for the Pepsi Cola to acclimatize the body.” I raised a hand to stop.

“Hold that thought.” I took a picture of the original parasite, posted it on Reddit, and proclaimed it a Cola of the Pepsi Archetype of monster. In my opinion, it was better than the Vitai that Kale called them. Basically, they were called false life, and since I was technically the first human to discover it on Reddit, I could go ahead and spread the name.

Comments began to pop up, proclaiming it impossible that the creature was actually called that. Still, others posted weird creatures like a similar white worm female creature and named it Pepsi Max. I wondered what the coke archetype would look like.

“The biologists are going to hunt me down,” I said with a grin. Kale snapped her fingers at me. “Sorry, continue.” I inventoried my phone just as Reddit went crazy.

“After a few days of incubation, they devour the host’s mind and replace it. By this point, the body has transformed through various potions produced by the worms. As they acclimatize the host’s body, it becomes more resistant to both physical and magical damage. Once this process is finished, they start the next phase. They hunt down living creatures through the host and begin a search for dragons. Once they find one, they produce a scent that makes them smell irresistible to the predators. They are then devoured and lay eggs inside the dragon’s guts before dying. After the dragon defecates, the worms hatch and find new hosts, and the process begins again.” I nodded and turned away from Kale.

While it was only a skill, I had dragon blood. Did that mean they’d try to go inside my body and lay eggs? I felt vomit rise in the back of my throat. The worms were as big around as a soda can.

This wasn’t fair; I missed my chance to name them after taco bell. To fix my mistake, I’d have to erase them from existence.