《The Children of the Divine Limit》Chapter 26: Embrace Your Pain, Not False Vitality
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Shaula looks over at Ajax. She considers his fate. The outcome of his life as a mostly virtuous, naive person that she loves dearly.
This place is going to consume him. His heart will be replaced with one containing the values of this world… anger, savagery, hatred, death...
“Who the hell is this other god now? Who is Azazelin? What the fuck are you talking about?”
Ajax looks at the four men in anger. His body tenses. He starts walking forward in their direction. Who can he take his anger and frustration out on? These people can’t be innocent, right?
They didn’t even stop him… when that shithead cut his throat… they didn’t do anything… they had to know that was what he was going to do… they’re afraid of me… they don’t have remorse… wouldn’t it be ok to let loose on them?
The air temperature turns to mid-January intensity. Ajax has gotten progressively angrier.
But Shaula doesn’t respond to Ajax’s motions towards those men.
In truth, she considers these men not as vile as the merchant. They don’t necessarily seem like their master. They didn’t try to stop Ajax when he killed their master. They’re probably just hired hands doing their job.
But, they’re complicit. If Ajax and Shaula weren’t there… they wouldn’t have even flinched at the death of their captive. Perhaps that’s the simple logic of this world.
But Ajax and Shaula aren’t from this world. Now that they have power, it is perfectly within their right to enact what they believe to be acts of justice. She wouldn’t feel too upset if they died.
The men who now notice Ajax’s intent back away towards the carriage, in pure and absolute terror at his display of power. They see his expression grow more furious, more desperate.
Ajax wishes to expel all the sadness he’s felt for the past two days. All the pain, all the anguish. He won’t see his sister until she’s a grown woman. He won’t see his mother and father until they’re old and grey.
The time he can spend with them will be brief even if he does return.
Can he get rid of his pain by dealing with these four? Did he feel any better killing that merchant? He doesn’t truly even remember. It all happened too quickly. Rather, his anger just continued to grow.
But Shaula knows. Shaula knows who Ajax truly is. A good person. Not someone who can become happier taking his anger out on strangers. Not someone who can become a killer and stay sane.
The merchant is a special case that won’t break Ajax’s mind; the merchant had done something completely vile. He could be sent to hell without regret. Shaula would have done it herself if Ajax hadn’t stepped in.
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But these guards? These defenceless guards who hadn’t directly killed anyone? Would Ajax be able to rationalize that decision? The decision to take their lives for merely being in his storm of rage?
No.
His mind would break. He would fall apart. Right now, he’s in a state of fury that is clouding his emotions. But that will pass and his crimes will remain.
The air descends to frostbite-level temperatures.
Ajax must be stopped from turning a corner he can never return from.
Ajax continues walking towards them. To the men before him, he appears far more insane than they had assumed previously. His jaw is clenched, his teeth bare as he contemplates their deaths.
He cannot hear anything. His vision constricts until he sees the four men and nothing else. His breathing grows faster and faster. His targets see his eyes start to shine blue.
“You… you pieces of shit… you… you fucking… I’ll… I’ll--”
...Huh?
Ajax feels a hand on his left shoulder. He turns his head to look at Shaula. If anyone but she had touched Ajax’s shoulder at that moment, their life would be forfeit.
Ajax’s anger holds for a brief moment before seeing her face. There were… remnants of tears streaming down her face.
His anger starts to dissipate but remains at a certain level.
“...Shaula? Whoa--”
Shaula turns his body to face her with full force. She places both her hands on his shoulders. She looks into his eyes.
“Ajax, I love you.”
“Shaula… don’t… not now… not after all this… don’t try to… don’t patronize--”
“Ajax, I’m not patronizing you. I love you. You’re my favourite person. I love you. Your father loves you. Your mother loves you. Your sister loves you.”
“Shut up.”
“No, Ajax. I love you. You’re stuck with the me who loves you. I love you.”
“Sh-Shut up.”
“I love you. I love you. Through this pain, I love you. Through all past and future happiness, I love you. I’m not going to let you leave me out of your suffering.”
“Sh-Shut--”
Shaula doesn’t let him continue that sentence. She embraces him. She places her arms around him, touching his head with her left hand and his back with her right.
She holds him tight in her embrace. She feels his struggle to escape her grasp. He doesn’t want her to see him in this state of weakness. But that is something she has never turned her eyes away from.
She knows who he truly is. A weak person trying to be good. But still a weak person nonetheless.
He feels her absorb the energy that he had been building for himself. This energy is an outlet by which he can throw away his pain. He can replace sadness with vitality.
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With the energy retracted, he feels it. The world he’s truly living in. The life he’s finding himself in. The pain he’s felt. The fact he can’t see his family again. Those he’s killed.
Those who’ve tried to hurt him and Shaula, the one he loves the most here.
Tears well up in his eyes. Ajax cries.
Shaula feels his cries as he reciprocates her embrace. His arms wrap around her back tightly. He’s felt pain greater than he’s ever felt before; both physical and mental.
Yet conversely, he’s been given power greater than anything he’s ever experienced. He’s in a state of unbridled strength while his heart and soul feel like they’re dying.
Shaula makes a plan. They’re going to get out of this. They’re not going to allow the bandits to die here or in the city. They’re going to pass their judgment upon them and let them live or die, whatever Ajax chooses.
They’re not the people in this world. They have their own justice. Their own principles. They now have the power to make these principles a reality.
“Ajax. We’re going to get out of this, ok? We’re going to get through this. We’re not going to leave each other. We’re not going to die. Do you love me?”
Ajax slowly stops his emotions from overflowing. He considers what Shaula has just told and asked him.
“Y-Yeah... I love you.”
“No hesitation, you fucking cunt. Do. You. Love. Me?”
“Yes, I love you.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yeah, I trust you.”
“Ok then. It’s going to be a lot of work to get out of this but there’s nothing we can do about it. We just have to keep moving forward, ok?”
“Ok. Ok.”
The merchant’s guards start to breathe sighs of relief. The sane one among the two has calmed things down. Perhaps they’ll be better off now.
“Ajax. I think we’ll need those things in order to leave here with the bandits intact. At least one of them.”
“The Miella? Wow, yeah… I wasn’t even paying attention to those but that is one freaky-looking animal. It’s so different considering its definition in my head compared to how it really is.”
Ajax and Shaula consider the two creatures currently looking over at the two of them. The Miella, an animal with six legs with three-cloven hooves, droopy rabbit ears on its head, large black compound eyes and a small moth-like head on a body covered in thick, white fur.
To Ajax and Shaula, it looks somewhat like a six-legged white furry bison with the head of a rabbit moth hybrid.
Ajax, Shaula and the merchant’s guards are (and have been) to the left and slightly behind the left-sided Miella.
The right-sided one is slightly outside their vantage point.
“Huh… I wonder… why didn’t it spook or anything when the temperature went down so drastically? Is it just a calm and cool animal?”
“What? Shaula, I made the temperature go down again!?”
“Yeah, I noticed when my breath started to become visible...”
“Well… Sorry about that...”
“Apologize to those dipshits standing there terrified of you. But still, this animal must be pretty calm, huh…”
“Actually... it’s pretty skittish. It was very annoying trying to keep it from running wild when that boy was having his moment there...”
“...Huh? Who are you? The driver? I thought you went into the carriage…”
Ajax calls to a voice he heard coming from the other side of the right-sided Miella. He can’t see this person’s body or face. A deep voice full of life and honour.
“Oh, me? No, I’m just a passer-by… actually, I was attracted to this place because I felt something very interesting… you two.”
“Us? Wait, really who are you?”
“Ah. Hold on, let me at least show myself.”
Ajax and Shaula hear the person who had been hidden by the two Miella walk over to them.
Ronas and his company do not recognize the voice of this stranger either. This isn’t their driver or anyone they’ve met before. Rather, where did this man come from? Ronas, Wilney, Pilate and Gundi in curiosity turn their eyes to see the strange newcomer.
“Actually, I am very interested in where the two of you are from. I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of making your acquaintance.”
Ajax and Shaula lay eyes on the man. They see his body in thin, graceful armour from neck to toe, burgundy under the sunlight (but not shining itself). This man is not wearing a helmet.
Ajax and Shaula can see his face, beautiful and masculine. Long hair falls over his metal-plated shoulders.
A tall man with grand musculature like someone Ajax might see in movies back in his homeworld. A shining adonis.
But… something was off.
The man has purple irises with black slit pupils. Eyes truly alien to Ajax and Shaula. Perhaps no more alien than anything else in this world, however.
The man also has horns on the top of his head, curved like a ram’s.
“A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, my name is Alin. Am I correct in assuming you’re not from this world?”
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