《A lonely exploration of Tao》Chapter 20 : Tao
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Taking a deep breath, Avery started drawing. He was expecting to once again come into contact with the mysterious rune, being presented with obscure knowledge. The question should have been whether he would be able to reach and understand that well of knowledge, but something much more terrifying happened.
As soon as he made contact with the cliff face, he was overcome by an overwhelming sense of dread. He had the distinct impression that what he was doing was unforgivably sacrilegious, and that if he continued, he would be struck down by a heavenly punishment.
The entire world was looking down upon him, judging him, and declaring him guilty. He had rashly profaned Tao for his own selfish gain. A blasphemous thought, and one that would not be allowed to pass unchecked. He had soiled the purity of the Heavens, and he would need to make amends.
Panicked, Avery tried to stop, to bring back his hand, to grovel and apologise, and to do anything to take this terrifying gaze off of him. He tried to show his repentance, but his body stayed frozen, unable to keep up with his thoughts.
Before he could react or reconsider what he was doing, He felt a supreme will descend from the sky, making even the powerful dragon below him whimper. Whatever was descending had surpassed the five senses, and was detectable through consciousness alone.
It was something immense and inviolable, and utterly beyond mortal comprehension. As it descended, it resonated slightly with Avery’s visualisation, and seemed to fit itself inside of the picture of the golden dragon.
Only a minuscule hint of it entered his vision, but that trace was enough to cause Avery to collapse in crippling pain. It was too big, too substantive, and his consciousness could not accommodate this tremendous presence. Just like drawing a sword on a piece of paper was fine, but trying to carry a sword on that piece of paper would rip it apart, he couldn’t bear the weight of what was being drawn into his mental picture.
He felt his consciousness splintered apart, but he hardly paid attention, too preoccupied with admiring the holy apparition. This was what every cultivator dreamed of, a chance to see Tao with his very own eyes.
He was like a moth to the flame, willing to endure severe burns for a chance to approach and venerate the light. Physical pain was inconsequential, and he would not waste time on trivial details.
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He no longer cared about escaping the forbidden place, of having a happy life with friends and family, or of returning home. Tao was beautiful enough to make everything else irrelevant. Becoming immortal, becoming free, becoming invincible were thoroughly unworthy goals when compared to the ultimate truth, and could only come as a byproduct of his quest to reach it.
In the background his body was burning up and withering at an alarming rate, unable to withstand a force so far above his level, but that didn’t matter. Dying was worth it if he could be in the presence of Tao for a single instant longer.
What he was experiencing now was a million times better than what the failed enlightenment could have ever been. It was not just his understanding experiencing a temporary boost, but rather his very soul that was being elevated by the mere presence of a reflection of the Avenue.
As he beheld the Truth, his eyes opened up to a previously unseen universe, spying for the truth in the and uncovering the most obscure mysteries. He could finally appreciate how big and complexe the world was, and how blind he used to be. It was like an iceberg hiding most of its secrets underwater, there was so much to discover, so much to learn, that it made him dizzy.
As he listened to the song of the world, he started to notice the whispers of the world, overhearing many mysteries and secrets from ages past. Events and accomplishments so great they left unerasable marks on the world, and they were still discussed even as eons had passed.
As he felt Tao on his skin, every single cell in his body was opening up, becoming more and more suitable to bear Tao. While his body was still rapidly collapsing upon itself, it was also slowly getting used to this overbearing force.
As he tasted the Avenue, worshiping it’s transcendent flavor, he finally had a taste of true happiness. Not just a fleeting emotion of something good happening, but a profound sense that everything was right in the world, with a perfect blend of meaning and joy.
As he smelled its heavenly scent, he was revitalised, given endless stamina to tirelessly quest for the truth. No obstacle could stand in between him and Tao, be it time, talent or opportunity. All would be brought down by perseverance, as they were nothing before the gift he had received from Tao.
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As he contemplated the Avenue, his mind expanded and matured at an incredible rate, his thought process spreading up and becoming more agile, his mind becoming increasingly creative and ingenious.
The transformation he was undergoing was not only physical, but also affected his soul. His transfiguration was an elevation in his life level, where his entire being was refined and sublimated.
Each time he breathed in the Great Way and filled his lungs with its sublimity, he felt he was suddenly becoming more complete, as he had finally found his path. He was meant for Tao all along, he had just never realised what he was subconsciously yearning for until now.
His troubles and sorrows seemed so shallow when compared to the beauty of the world, but instead of feeling worthless, he felt empowered. He might be a minuscule creature, but he was part of a greater whole, and he had a responsibility to maintain that greater whole.
He saw millions of big and small creatures in Tao, and they were all important, all part of balance. From the humble ant to the most powerful dragon, they were all one of the countless manifestations of Tao, and killing any of them would be equally heinous. Since everything came from Tao and was part of Tao, murdering a fellow creature was striking directly at Tao, while giving aid to another was equivalent to helping the Great Way.
Avery wept as he understood his own place in the world, being both insignificant and incredibly important. One's worth was not dictated by their power or social standing, rather everyone was of equally divine origine.
All of his difficulties recontextualised before the timeless truth, he resolved to abide by Tao. Regardless of if he ever managed to escape, he realised he would never be alone, as the Avenue would be his everlasting companion. He would detach himself from material worries, strive to be in harmony with nature, respect himself and aim to deepen his connection with the cosmos .
If Tao demanded he stay stranded in the abyss for all eternity, then Avery would take pleasure in doing so. Following the Path was its own reward, and would bring him a happiness nothing else could.
He cried out in joy as he understood how much he was loved and appreciated, as that he was a result of the Avenue’s perfection. Tao was all encompassing, the perfect unity of a myriad of contradictory notions, and if even a single individual were to not exist, that would make Tao imperfect, and therefore not Tao.
Despite their individual insignificance, everyone was indispensable to Tao, and they were the culmination of the entire universe.
And yet with this triumphant discovery came a heartbreaking realisation.
Avery was not of this world, and was therefore not a part of Tao. He was an outsider trespassing into foreign lands, barging into a couple’s house and immediately expecting to be treated as if he was their son.
Worse, he was not treading lightly, taking care to respect local customs and beliefs, doing his best to avoid offending anyone. Instead, he desecrated the most supreme existence there was, portraying its imprisonment for no other reason than laziness.
Horrified at his action but unable to stop, Avery could only watch in atrocious shame as strands of the golden apparition got slowly pulled into the black hole, trapping them and robbing the world of their glory.
The feeling of imminent danger grew exponentially stronger as the scene progressed, and many of his organs were already shutting down, failing to withstand the tremendous pressure.
He wanted nothing more than to stop and repent, but there was nothing he could do. The arrival of Tao had shocked his body and visualisation, and he had no control anymore. He nevertheless tried his best to change the course of his actions, but it was already too late.
His hand continued on its previously intended trajectory, and drew a neat little stroke on the wall, and his mana synchronised with his mental picture was stimulated to rush through his body to his stylus.
Only a tiny hint of the Great Way had entered Avery’s visualisation, and only a miniscule trace of that had flowed into his rune, but it was already far too much. He felt his body explode, his mind blur, and his soul shatter.
Then, there was a loud cracking sound and he was thrown back into the opposite wall and knocked unconscious.
END OF VOLUME ONE
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