Chapter 35 — Soulkeeper Renard

Ria sat on a soft bed of moss, meditating in her shadow-attuned spot in the new elemental garden that was now part of her tower’s student lounge. The crisp spring wind piped in from a distant floor above rustled her hair and brought scents from the special plants her Ordermates had planted in the renovated space.

Her own contribution of Deepforest Shadowblooms was scentless to normal senses, but thanks to the bond with Ranger, she was able to breathe in the flowers’ subtly cloying fragrance. The scent was hard to describe—like a smooth chocolate that was gentle in the way it numbed. According to Botanical Bounties of Nature, the Shadowblooms were a type of flower that survived by going unnoticed by most beasts and insects, excepting the Midnight Moths that it used for pollination.

But even with the soothing from the Shadowbloom flowers, she felt unable to completely calm down and focus. Ria opened her eyes, and sighed out in frustration.

Being busy with her classes had helped her get through the day. Master Enchanter Temiere’s lecture in particular was again fascinating and had provided a welcome distraction, greatly improving her mood—enough that the time flew and she couldn’t help feeling the class was over all too soon.

Now that she was alone and there was nothing to distract her, she had to face the truth of her current state and was beginning to suspect the instability in her energy was becoming worse—or at least her ability to manage it was. Was she reaching the limits of how hard she could push herself without rest?

She needed to at least try to relax.

Otherwise she would have been better off joining Zena, Iselyn, and Keira in training for the arena. Ria was a little proud of herself for recognizing that she was in no condition to engage in combat training with dangerous magics. Even trying to help with the protective barrier, she’d be putting her friends and others in danger.

Argh! She was wasting precious time! How often would she have the lounge all to herself after classes!

Ranger was happily meditating over in the earth-attuned section. She should at least try to gain some benefit while she could.

Deep, slow breaths. She could do this. She needed to do this.

Letting the shadow energy coat her and seep into her body where it could, Ria extended her sense of touch throughout the garden, exploring the different feel each plant and sculpture gave. While not as productive as meditation, the effort did allow her to achieve a modicum of calm.

Even so, she felt relieved when Ranger alerted her that the very person she’d been hoping to show up, did. It was fortunate, saving her from having to find the Towerkeeper to help her locate him.

Calling Ranger to her, Ria went to see if her teammate would be able to solve one of the problems she had made for herself purchasing the orichalcum bracer that now adorned her wrist and forearm, mostly hidden under her shirt’s sleeve cuff.

“Ria, Ranger,” Tallien greeted pleasantly as they emerged from the garden.

“Woof,” Ranger happily replied.

Something about her appearance caused the alchemist boy to pause what he was doing at the self-service store’s counter, causing his brows to furrow slightly and him to add, “If there’s something in your studies you need help with, I don’t mind…”

Ria grimaced. Was it that apparent that she was feeling stressed?

With a nervous chuckle and a smile, she drew closer to where he was restocking some of the displays. “Thanks, Tallien. There is something I could use your help with.”

“Okay. Give me a moment…” He placed two beautifully polished write-boards, both with an accompanying stylus, on the counter and added their price to the plain write-board he was using to display prices. “Thought I’d try my hand at making some nicer ones to sell.”

Buying a write-board wasn’t a bad idea when considering the amount of paper she would probably go through for her spellcraft class. That said, her first class with Researcher Shadwich wasn’t until Goldday, so there was still time to pick one up tomorrow or before class.

“I would buy one, but I’m a little short of coin right now,” Ria hedged.

Tallien raised an eyebrow. “Is that what has you worried to the point that your energy feels like a cauldron of powdered inferno-stone suspended in magicite-imbued dragonblood being stirred with a charged mithril rod by a flighty alchemy apprentice afraid his master might return at any moment?”

Wha-? What was with that oddly specific description? “Um… no? Wait, you can feel it?”

The third-year boy sighed. “Probably, anyone second-year or above can see the way the energy around you is churning, and a good number of first-years too. So, should we sit down? Want to talk about it?”

Ugh. If she was already in this bad of a shape after one session of soul cultivation, what would happen if she continued on like Shadwich advised? Soulkeeper Renard’s letter came to mind. Maybe she really should seek his advice before trying again.

Tallien was waiting patiently for her to take up his offer, so she gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Ah, no, don’t worry about that. There’s something else that I was hoping to get help with.”

The older boy kept his gaze firm, his brows furrowing more deeply with worry. “Ria, I won’t press you on it. Everyone tries to find ways to improve, and I’ve wished many times that the gods had blessed me with more. But restricted and forbidden methods are restricted for a reason—because they are risky and dangerous.”

“It’s nothing like that. I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning.” Ria again laughed nervously and waved away his concern, redirecting the conversation to the orichalcum spirit tokens she needed.

Her alchemist teammate was quite surprised that she had found a way to produce orichalcum energy and readily agreed to make her five tokens for every one that she agreed to fill up for him. There was just the problem of sourcing the small quantity of orichalcum needed to make them, a problem Ria solved by using most of her energy to flow off a small piece of her bracer into her hand.

The display of orichalcum magic had Tallien’s eyebrows approaching his hairline.

“Can you keep it secret?” Ria asked, her breathing a little shaky from the effort.

At his slow nod, she handed over the metal, and left him there in the lounge, dumbfounded.

As she walked the curving hallway, Ria smiled a bit at having solved one of her current problems—assuming Tallien came through on his end of the deal. Ria was optimistic he would. Tallien’s pathetic team evaluation notwithstanding, he seemed reliable. He might not be a bad choice for her escort if Phaelys’ family said no.

Ria couldn’t help groaning though. If her condition was bad enough to make a third-year like Tallien worry that she was engaged in forbidden methods, she needed to consult with Soulkeeper Renard as soon as possible.

Ranger woofed at her questioningly as they approached the nearest still-working elevator shaft.

“He might be right to be worried. I haven’t felt right all day.” When the elevator showed up she quickly got on the platform, loyal Ranger at her side, and pushed energy into the number for the ground floor. “There’s someone we need to visit before we head home.”

As she and Ranger entered the grand building with pillars sculpted to represent multitudes of spirits twisting around each other in grotesquely malformed shapes, Ria couldn’t help feeling that the mausoleum was having trouble deciding if it wanted to be the embodiment of a necromancer’s nightmare or a stately tomb celebrating the life and research of its Order’s founder, Zethym Soulkeeper.

The interior wasn’t much better with themes of skulls and bones joining the tormented souls of the dead ascending toward the heavens. But even that wasn’t enough. Winged messengers of the gods decorated the arches above, and fiends of the hells the pillar bases and the lower parts of the walls below.

Like in her own tower’s entry hall, frescoes decorated the walls with grand scenes of heroism and consequence. Unlike the scenes of Luventi and her Order’s heroes, the scenes within Zethym’s Mausoleum were all rendered in muted and somber colors, which she supposed was fitting considering the building’s purpose.

If the place was supposed to feel intimidating and warn-off half-hearted spirit mage apprentices, it was doing a good job. Ria couldn’t imagine living in the mausoleum or having most of her classes there. The place was just too creepy.

Ranger didn’t seem to like the decor either, judging by how close he was holding his ears and tail.

“Can I help you?” a pleasant voice asked from behind.

With an “eeep!” Ria spun around, flames flaring around her hand before she managed to suppress them and give the Soulkeeper-robed teen girl a sheepish smile.

“Your first time here?” the third-year placidly inquired, suppressing the amusement that showed briefly.

Ria nodded. “I’m here to see Soulkeeper Renard.”

“Oh? Are you looking to seek a future spirit magic certification? Or looking to change Orders?” the girl asked as she motioned for Ria to follow.

Ria shook her head as she followed. “I’m happy with my Order, but I was told that a spirit magic license is required to get a shamanic magic license.”

“Shamanic magic, huh?” The Soulkeeper girl glanced back at her with interest. “That’s a different reason than usual. Though, most who choose your Order tend to be a bit eccentric, if you don’t mind my saying.”

“Un-uh.” Ria again shook her head. “I don’t mind. It’s true enough from what I’ve seen.”

The girl laughed in surprise at Ria’s honest reply and stopped before a door, opening it to lead them into an empty waiting room. “Hmm… seems that his secretary isn’t here. I can check if Soulkeeper Renard will see you. Who should I say is asking?”

“Ria of Shadewood.”

“I’m Lestina, by the way.” The older girl, Lestina, quietly disappeared through a back door for a minute before returning with a smile. “He’ll see you now. Good luck, Ria. I look forward to chatting more next time you come and visit.”

“Thanks,” Ria offered and received a friendly nod as she was left alone with Ranger in the room.

Thus far her visit had been more pleasant than expected. Or at least Lestina had been. Maybe Soulkeeper Renard would be just as nice…

“Alright Ranger, let’s go meet Soulkeeper Renard.”

“Woof.”

Ria was fairly certain her hope was wishful-thinking when she turned to face the man sitting at the large marble desk after closing the office door behind her and Ranger.

Soulkeeper Renard was the picture of a stern noble father with his perfectly combed back black hair and paternally patient expression as he motioned for her to take a seat in one of the two large chairs placed before his desk. “And so we meet, Ria of Shadewood.”

“Ah, yes, thank you for seeing me without notice, Soulkeeper Renard,” Ria replied, scooting into the offered seat. Embarrassingly, her legs didn’t quite reach the floor, but she primly placed her hands in her lap and sat up as straight as she could.

Ranger, reading the serious atmosphere, trotted up and sat on the floor beside her chair, his forelegs straight and his head at attention.

“So, what brings you to see me? Lestina tells me this is about licensing?” Soulkeeper Renard prompted, folding his hands on his desk in an attempt to appear casual.

Ria quickly shook her head. “Ah, no. I mean, I’d like to have the license, but that’s not why I’m here.” At the man’s raised eyebrow, Ria hurriedly added, “Your letter said to come see you if I needed help with the soul strengthening…”

“Indeed, it did. You’ve made the right choice, choosing guidance over pride. And I’m glad you brought your familiar along.” The Soulkeeper motioned in Ranger’s direction. “Seeing the situation with your bond with my own eyes, I can understand why Shadwich is concerned.”

Ria gulped. Was it really that dire?

“So, what part are you having difficulty with?”

Deciding to be as forthcoming as possible without mentioning the oracle or the content of her regrets and fears, Ria described her attempt with the incense and cultivation technique. She continued on to explain the control issues she was having since performing the soul cultivation and how she had been feeling on-edge during her classes, concluding with how she was now having trouble meditating and her worries that whatever was wrong with her was getting worse.

Soulkeeker Renard listened attentively, but when she finished, he chuckled as if her failure was expected and she was being naive to have expected otherwise. “Soul strengthening isn’t easy and children rarely have the perspective to perform self-reflection on their own faults and failings. So, for young initiates, it is often more effective to begin with fears than regrets. After all, a child has an aspirational future to look forward to and hardly much of a past to reflect upon. Though with children’s tendency to overestimate the importance of failures and actions that result in discipline or embarrassment, I suppose even minor things could become challenging to overcome.”

A reflexive anger flared up at the man’s callous response and his lack of empathy and understanding. Ria unbunched her hands and consciously laid them flat on her lap to gather herself and not say anything she’d regret. “Do you… are you aware of what happened to Revant’s peasant families?”

“No. History and Politics aren’t my field of study,” he apologized with a shrug, but his eyes stayed unchanging, simply looking down at her without any cues to reveal his true thoughts on the matter. “The diviners were making a fair amount of noise about events in Revant some months ago. Perhaps that’s related to what you are referring to?”

Ria looked away. She really didn’t want to explain what happened to someone who so clearly couldn’t care less about the fate and suffering of her family, her friends, her village. To him they were just some random unnamed foreign peasants.

“Hmm… a significant trauma can make the first stage more difficult and risky but also more rewarding.” He paused as if reevaluating her. “In that case, I would recommend facing your smaller regrets and fears first. Little successes can build into the confidence needed to face more difficult challenges.”

Ria had already suspected that would be the required approach. Her shoulders sagged with disappointment that Soulkeeper Renard wasn’t going to be able to offer her any better solutions. She also felt frustrated with herself for getting her hopes up that the man would actually be competent.

“Can you already perform the energy-cycling technique needed for the first stage without mistakes?” the Soulkeeper suddenly asked.

“Yes,” Ria gritted out.

“Show me.”

What?! Ria looked up sharply. He wanted her to perform the soul cultivation in front of him while sitting on a chair in his office?!

Annoyance warred with pride at the insensitive jerk’s demand, and pride eventually won out. If he was implying she was doing it wrong, she would prove him wrong.

With the chair sized for an adult man, folding her legs under her was certainly doable, but it did require an unladylike hiking-up of her robe. Thankfully, she was wearing trousers underneath as usual of late rather than skirts.

Once properly in the unified meditation pose, a tinge of fear at facing her darkness again so soon caused her to hesitate, but she huffed and determinedly pressed on. Cycling the energy in the patterns required by the technique did bring her fears and regrets to the forefront but without the extreme intensity she felt when using the incense. Her energy was still surging erratically, complicating her efforts as it had been doing all day, and the indignity of being forced to struggle with her personal regrets while the man watched certainly didn’t help with restraining her aggravated and chaotic flows to the delicate task.

After she had painstakingly completed several cycles, Soulkeeper Renard spoke up, “You can stop now. Your destabilized emotions are affecting your control. I’ll give you a technique you can use to calm yourself and improve emotional stability before and after each soul cultivation session. Be aware that mistakes in the usage of the soul-strengthening technique can damage the mind—even at the first stage—that is why soul-strengthening methods are normally restricted to those licensed to study spirit magic.”

Ria gulped, her anger doused by a chill of fear at her prior recklessness. If it was dangerous to that extent, attempting the technique while mentally tired had been much too risky!

Glad to be getting something out of their meeting, Ria swallowed down her pride and annoyance, bowing her head to show her contriteness and gratitude. “Thank you, Soulkeeper Renard.”

“Don’t worry,” the self-assured man assured her. “You aren’t the first initiate to struggle at the start, and I doubt you’ll be the last. That you realized something was wrong and came to me for help shows wisdom and humility.” While he was talking, he retrieved a thin leather-bound book and, after carefully flipping through the pages, gently tucked the attached ribbon inside to mark the location. “I’ll expect this manual back once you’ve had a chance to copy it.”

Ria nodded solemnly, and after being told to report back in a week, she left the Soulkeeper’s office with a treasure in hand and in much improved spirits. Soulkeeper Renard had turned out to be rather more of a jerk than she expected, but a faint smile still graced her lips when she looked down at the book’s title—a title that suggested the manual contained more techniques that would be useful to her than just the one recommended.

And with nothing else planned for the day, Ria was eager to put the manual to use.