In my rush out I almost make the mistake of running there without stop. If I’d done that I’d just draw attention to their home and likely make them need to move again. Not to mention sprinting with my face covered is the exact kind of thing that could get the police to question me.

It’s a bit of a long walk but I’m rushing as quickly as I can without looking suspicious or using public transportation. There are a lot of bikes around, but I don’t want to give people a good reason to lock me up forever.

Several hours later.

I finally come up on the small house that matches all the other ones around it. I’ve been walking at a rushed pace but not sprinting or moving too fast. Seeing the house, I almost wanted to rush in but instead I steady myself and knock at the door.

Knock knock

I hear the scramble of feet as the door is opened and Miho’s younger brother stands there in his pajamas… He looks up at me and frowns before trying to hit me. “Stupid stupid Hitomi! You made Miho cry a-and made me lose all my friends!” I quickly look left and right seeing no other people walking about I pick him up and bring him inside with me as he starts kicking and screaming to no real effect.

“Listen! I’m sorry but it’s not all my fault. Can… you please be quiet?” He just goes limp and starts crying and I feel awkward as Miho walks in and sees me holding her younger brother who is crying.

Her eyes go wide with horror. “Sh- Hit-Hitomi… Please just… Just please put down my brother! He… He will be a good boy jus-just please don’t hurt him!” She seems frantic looking for a weapon or something to defend herself with. It hurts a bit when she calls me Hitomi instead of Shimada. I just set down her brother who starts hitting me in the leg to no real effect then he goes for the crotch, and I give him a glare which makes him finally scamper off.

“Relax I’m not here to hurt anyone. He just started attacking and screaming when he saw me. I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I brought him inside.” I hold up my hands to placate her but she winces a bit.

She starts to cry looking at me. A bit of fear still in her eyes but also that familiar brand of ritious anger. “Just… I don’t know what to do… Mom’s still gone on business… I… you killed people! You killed people who trusted you! You slit throats, you lied, you schemed, how do I know you weren’t trying to use me? How do I know you haven’t been lying to me all along?” She glares at me with tears in her eyes.

I feel a pang of guilt in my gut. “I’m sorry… I did what I had to. In order to come ba-“

“There’s that same excuse again! You didn’t have to kill all those people, did you? Those last two what was that for? Fun? Did it just become a habit by that point? When you left… I knew you would probably kill someone. I prepared myself for you to come back and… I would listen I’d be there for you. I wouldn’t like hearing about you killing her captors but I’d understand. What I wasn’t prepared for was seeing you kill other innocent people!” I look down at the ground… I’m used to her being upset but… she wasn’t usually really mad. She put up a good front but right now she was just… I… I can’t lose this too.

“It was them or me and I fought as hard as I could to get back to you! I-I love you! I didn’t want to not see you again, so I did what I had to!” I let it all out. I stare at the floor for a while.

She seems to start and sputter at that. “That’s… I-I… This… do you really think this is the appropriate time for THAT?! I… If it was the you that I knew before you left… I would have said the same. But now? Now that I’ve seen a bit of who you really are? I… I don’t know if I can feel the same way… I just… I need time to think… I wanted to talk! But THIS!? No just… Just get out.” She points at the door behind me. I feel like everything is crumbling around me. I… I can fix this… I need to fix it.

With a bit more desperation in my voice I try to plead. “No no! Just listen! I just… You need to understand!” I move towards her, looking up I meet her gaze. I freeze in my steps, there is fear in her eyes… She takes a half step back putting her arms up in a familiar stance to defend herself… I… what am I doing? What am I saying? Why!? Why is everything falling apart? Why is it happening to me? After everything I went thorugh to get here!

“Please just… Please leave…” She sniffles and I finally realize how angry I'm getting. I get a good look at myself.

I hang my head low turning around to the door. The part of me that was angry or sad just gives way to numbness. The part in the back of my mind buzzing as the feeling of everything being lost just wants to be heard.

She should know this at least. “You should know that your mom works for the company that took me and your friend… She contacted me while I was on the island… Just please think things through… Call me if you change your mind… I’ll… I’ll always be there to help if you need it… Just…” Damn it I’m digging my hole deeper and deeper why can’t I just shut up! You said what you needed stop adding anything else!… But it just keeps on coming out of my mouth…

“You don’t understand how much you mean to me! Just…” I feel a slap on my face. Her crying eyes just glaring at me. I just shut my mouth turn around and walk out. Closing the door behind me, I see a few neighbors giving the curious look towards the house likely looking for gossip. Thankfully I have my face covered so it’s just going to be the usual neighborhood drama. I rub the cheek that was slapped absentmindedly as I walk away.

I walk for a while not very concerned with where I'm going just thinking to myself. Going through what happened figuring out what I did wrong... Then I move on to the next problem. Where am I going to stay tonight? I don’t own anything… I didn’t take the prize money… I lost my wallet… I have stock in a company that I can’t access… I’m homeless… and without friends or family…

It starts to get dark. I find an empty place to stay for the night. Breaking in there are a few other squatters there. They are all weary of me eventually letting me have the place. I’d like to say I persuaded them but when one of them asked me to leave or else I snapped and beat them to the point that the others didn’t think it was worth it and left to be out in the cold or find another place instead of dealing with me…

Well, I at least have a place to stay for the night. Some food they left behind and a change of clothes… I look down at the shivering form of the man I beat… He won’t get any help, will he? He… He’s all alone too. No one will treat his wounds… No one will be there for him when he’s hurt like me.

With a long sigh I get up from my warm spot near the fire and treat his injuries. Just in case I tie his arms and legs together then to a heat radiator in the corner as I go to bed… I… I just feel bad for hurting him that much… He could have died alone. None of his friends caring enough to come back for him.

The next morning.

I wake up to a scared guy huddled in the corner having pissed himself rather than try to wake me to let him go elsewhere. I just walk off… someone will come eventually I leave some water within his reach and food so he won’t starve for a while and someone is bound to show up if he yells.

The best thing I can think to do is going to the company headquarters… they want me to work for them so I can get a place to stay there… I can – wait... It’s their fault… It’s not mine. They made me kill. They aired everything that happened. They are the ones that drove this spike between me, my family, Miho… A weight on my shoulders slowly starts lifting.

I arrive at the building I met them the previous day.

“Sir we are going to have to ask you to leave. This is private property, and you are not allowed to enter.” The guards at the front start. I’m wearing some clothes I found from the squatters last night, so it makes sense if they stop me in the lobby. But I pull off the scarf and hat I was wearing.

“Look I’m Shimada Hitomi, I work for your company they released me from prison yesterday, at least let me go inside and discuss this with someone.” They look between each other and slowly back up. The person at the front desk starts calling for someone else. Eventually the fat man from before comes down with a bright smile.

“Ah I see that you’ve been released. Just know we at Tyranos gaming were appalled when we heard that you were apprehended. We did our best to ensure that you were released as soon as possible. Now if you would kindly follow me, we have much to discuss.” I nod and follow along.

Eventually we arrive at his desk which was cluttered with papers of various names… they were nominations for more people to go to the island. “Now first we would like to propose a deal. You are currently without residence, missing all assets and family, correct? Considering your current position we would like to propose a position as a… cleaner for the island. Each season you will go down and harry the players into not waiting out the game time. We found that if the players did not feel threatened, they would form small communities much like ‘Sanctuary’ that you experienced. We can’t have that in the future.” He smiles at me as he starts handing me folders. Inside is additional information about me and pictures of the warehouse copies of all the blackmail they have on me. Which is the stick for this deal.

“We would also like to ask what organization you work for and due to looking into your academic records ask if you would like a position in one of our R&D departments. It’s my understanding you were studying medicine, but we do not have a department with those credentials, nor do you fulfill them at your current level of education. We can however put you in an assistant position in the R&D until such a time you have acquired enough experience to take a position yourself. You will be given leave from that position while performing your required time on the island each season. Sounds like a great deal right?” There is the shitty carrot.

Looking through the documents they found the warehouse of supplies and emptied it. They lost several men. The news reported it as a local drug bust gone wrong with an unknown owner that is being investigated.

I let out a long sigh. “Look you have everything you want. I’ll work with you guys just… Give me somewhere to stay and don’t hurt my friends or family and I’ll do what you want…” This gets a big smile from the man.

“Great! Just sign these documents and we will be right on our way. Your bedroom is on the 5th floor. You start in five days so be ready.” I look over the documents quickly. They are pretty much selling everything about myself to them for the rest of my life. I can’t tell anyone else outside about this deal. They own the rights to the stock that they ‘rewarded’ me. I will receive compensation for my work, but they are at liberty to remove as much as they deem worthy of room and board costs. They may also remove funds from my pay for damages I cause to their public image from my actions at work…

I sign all of them. It doesn’t really matter anymore anyways. They own the government at this point anyways. ‘Themis’ their little project was supported by the United States, Japan, China, Russian and many other countries. The death games are just a small part of it. Some leaders are in it for money bribed to their officials. Others are using it as a good method of disposing of their unwanted population. The ones that don’t agree with those in power can be shipped off and they can get money from watching them die.

The common person may think that it is safe banking system too. The banking options seem good at a glance until you realize that they are not restricted by the same laws that typical banks are since they are from their own ‘cyber’ country. So, they can just take your money and leave if they wanted, fake gains and losses, deny access to your account and many other problems that most never even think of. Once you deposit funds, they have total control of everything you have and if they decide one day to take it away, they can. When they take the nominated individuals to the island, they seize all their assets the second they die. Redistributing them to those in charge.

“Good good, now head on to your room I have many important meetings to attend.” He starts tapping away at his computer as I get up and leave.

As I walk out, I can just barely hear. “He actually signed it! The dumbass actually signed everything!”

I’ll bide my time. They feel protected by a sheet of paper? They must really be idiots. They think that I really care about that. Like it’s binding me to my word? I have nothing else to lose so what is a piece of paper going to stop me from getting revenge.

Several years later.

The television Series Btooom is going on it’s 30th season. They have been cranking out a lot more over the years. At first it was just one or two in a year but that quickly rose to 5 then 8.

“Ohhhh would you look at that. It appears that the players this time aren’t so lucky! Will they be able to out run the dark knight?” On screen several people are running from their placement in some bushes trying to escape after hearing who is after them. One of the contestants’ trips and a black blur shoots out of the bushes. In the same instant that the man fell from his fall he has already sprouted a knife from his forehead. The others panicked begin scrambling away as well. The Blur slowly picking them off one by one until only one contestant is left. A kid barely into his teens is left crying alone as all the others are left dying on the floor. Chips missing from their hands in a neat pile in front of the kid along with a small bandaid on his scrapped knee.

“Would you look at that viewers, I guess he’s feeling a bit sentimental today! Letting one of the nominated get away with even some chips!” The announcer chuckles as there are several explosions in the distance.

“Up next let’s go over some of the highlights from the last few seasons……”

I shut off the TV. It’s getting a bit annoying lately. People stopped even thinking of me as human long ago. Stealth has reached a high enough level I can scramble my appearance on tv, the company thinks it’s just something I made that can distort my appearance on camera and the populace loves it so they don’t look anymore into it. Most people don’t even know what my face looks like anymore. It’s been pretty useful for getting around in the city.

I let out a long sigh as I clean out my suit. A bunch of sand piling up from cleaning it out. How does it even get in there? I tried my hardest to make sure there was no crevice for it to get into... Regardless after that last match I finally got the last skill level I needed.

I finally reached level 75 in treatment today… My job calls for a lot less healing and treating others than killing so it’s taken much longer than I’d like. I can help Miho… I’m not sure if she even wants to see me after all this time. It’s been years since the day I left… I’m on tv killing people and I’ve been doing it more and more often over the years. At first people just called me a psychopath that needed to be put down. They called for the government to get involved but nothing happened. Protests started to end the barbaric show but were quickly squashed by excessive force by a combination of the government and the companies’ forces.

Sneaking out into the night I make my way through the city. I’ve known where she was for a long time now… I just… I couldn’t face her. She’s working with an activist group that’s against the company. Soon after I left, she had a fight with her mom and left. I’ve been sending her information on the company through the years to help her out but… I know if she knew it was from me, she would never have accepted it thinking it was some ploy.

She knows one of my deepest secrets that I have skills but after all this time even though I'm a villian on tv she still hasn't told anyone. So, on at least some level she still cares… I just… I wish I wasn’t such an idiot back then… Haru still refuses to talk to me. He stands by his promise to not help train me but will come by and talk even he can get a bit lonely, I guess.

Sneaking up to her house I knock on the door. It takes a while before someone answers… A guy answers...