My entire existance turns into pain as I feel like my everything is forced through a pin sized whole but this time there is even more of me to fit through. The Agony seems to go on forever as I eventually feel the sensation the squeezing all around me it lessons to a point that consciousness becomes thought.

I feel myself pushed the world bathing me in light again. I thrash out, the thoughts the… the image of Takashi are still on my mind. I… I know I should be more upset than I am. I know everything that happened because of him. But I feel this disconnect, I know I loved Saeko with all my heart and yet… now… it feels hollow. I look back at everything that happened and I feel emotions struck from it but I just…

What am I saying… I’m not even Haru anymore. Inside me looks up from the desk hes been looking at haru’s memories at. A door opened up in the realm. Haru went out there but hasn’t come back in. I’m a little scared to see whats out there.

The jostling and something being forced into my face reminds me that I was being born again. I open my eyes to see the blurry world around me.

Happy faces, smiles from a mother and father this time. But also, a look of concern as they continue to speak in another new language. The dialect is similar the structure seems the same rhythm in phrasing, but the words are different.

Being born truly is a disgusting experience. As I feel myself get passed around, I see the frowns as they notice me not reacting as much. Internally sighing I let out a half comital cry for them. It seems to wipe the worried looks off their faces. I’m going to have to keep dealing with this again and again, aren’t I?

…Annoying.

Several days pass.

I start to learn the language of these people. I suppose I should be thankful they have taken me in they are going to raise me. I just keep getting distracted. Whats outside that door in the light… Why do I hurt so much if I shouldn’t care? It wasn’t really me it was Haru right? Should I just move on? It doesn’t help that Mental me just keeps looking at the memories of my time I… Haru spent with her. Watching them over and over trying to hold on to the feeling I know I had.

I checked my menu soon after I had some time to think and that I didn’t distract myself.

Name: [email protected]#%!!% [email protected]#[email protected]%!

Titles: N/A

Age: 0

Carried over skills: Rebirth, Mindscape.

Health status 100/100

Afflictions: Confusion, Severe Asthma

Current skills

Throwing lvl 1 (Inborn skill) Empty Empty Empty Empty Empty

Interesting, throwing? Seems like a bit of a useless skill considering I could just shoot or cut whatever I fought before. I’ll at least check the description.

Throwing lvl 1

Description: Increase accuracy with objects thrown by lvl * 5%

Meh I might as well practice it a bit in my free time. Might even go into baseball or something for fun depending on the world.

DING~

New personal Quest Acquired! Description: Be considered the best student and player by at least 50% of teachers and the coach of a sport you perform in.

Interesting… what do personal quests give? It seemed like side chain quests gave attribute points or things that were relevant to helping me survive. Story quests gave me something that modified my skills. My First quest is what determines my soul will be fixed. But what do personal quests give? Presumably titles considering that’s the new option available.

I suppose that theres only really one way of figuring it out. The quest won’t even be all that difficult. Mindscape and my mental age advantage should be enough to guarantee my success in that regard.

Should I pick up my skills now? I have six slots now instead of five so that’s improved. Is it because my soul expanded? So, it can handle more or something? Gah, I wish it would just TELL me whats changed. When I try to mentally press on titles it also seems empty.

Working my way over to the afflictions I realize I have a genetic disease. One I’d really rather not deal with too so there is at least disease resistance again. I’ll likely need to save that one after another life eventually. I begin scrolling through the options looking for it. Many of the skill options are all in different locations compared to before. Seems like this world has a different set of rarity of common skills. Quantum physics and other more advanced mechanical skills seem to be higher up on the list then I recall them being previously.

There are even a couple of interesting ones near the bottom. They are things like ‘spirit whispering’ and ‘medium’. While they are potentially interesting, I’m not sure if they would give me actual ability to see and talk to ghosts or if they would just allow me to be more convincing at acting like I do. Some of the other skills near the bottom are less interesting like ‘underwater basket weaving’ or ‘flatulence speech’ if perhaps the ‘ghost whisperer’ skill was a little more common and not associated with those, I’d believe it more. Picking up disease resistance I continue to look at the other skills for a while with little else to do as a baby.

Searching through I find a few potential skills that I’ll consider later. It seems like having a maxed-out skill might make some new skills appear or this world just has more mental related skills than the last one. I’ll see what sort of danger I need to face first before committing to any more skills. Haa I hope it’s not zombies again. They were a pain to deal with at the start and in the end did it really even matter for my friends? For my family? Well actually hopefully it’s not stronger zombies if it’s just the same world again should I meet Saeko? Would I still feel the same spark that Haru did when he met them? Should…should I talk to them and start a relationship again? Or… no that’s tainting their memory. I am… I’m not Haru… I’m not Aaron… I need to remember that in this life. I’m well I’m not sure what my name means yet but still I’m him not them!

Several months pass.

Being stuck still with nothing to do for so long it’s all just so boring. I eat, I poo I sleep I wait I stare at my skills for hours on end. I’m tempting to pick a new skill since I don’t really have anything else to do but I know that’s a bad idea. It’s interesting seeing the placement of some skills change. Likely the skills are very close in the number of people using those and more people practice it or someone that had it died. Technology related skills are becoming more common as well which is promising. Inside me is internally looking through old memories both me and him bit act as if the door outside our mental library doesn’t even exist. I feel a rumble in my stomach again. That’s another thing I’m not used to actually feeling hunger. Or am I? It’s strange I’ve watched myself not feel it but the experience of it is all I know. It just feels wrong, like the lack of a memory of the feeling makes it feel more like the absence should be the normal.

I sigh to myself before letting out a cry “WAAAAAAA”

Quick footsteps come running over to me as who I assume is my …da-man that looks out for me… he stares at me with shocked panicked eyes. He looks around me like he doesn’t know what to do. Come on just bring me to mo-that woman so I can eat. He starts dangling things in front of me. He tries shaking me to sleep gently which just makes me feel nauseous. JUST FREAKING TAKE ME TO HER TO EAT! He wastes both our time as he keeps checking everything he can. Before finally seeming to bring me out of the room. We have a single-story house its nice… Much better then Haru’s start. Looking around for that woman I realize why he was freaking out so much… shes gone. He starts talking to someone on the phone likely talking to her.

I take a long look at my -sigh- I might as well call him it I’m not sure if I can call that woman mom yet though. I look at ‘father’ I’ve been mostly ignoring his existence until now. Moderate build short black hair not overweight and the way hes acted until now makes me assume hes sticking around just a bit out of his depth. It takes awhile but eventually that woman arrives back at the house with father runs around loading in groceries she got. And I finally get my meal too.

Several more days pass.

I’ve started sitting up on my own. I listen to them talking back and forth a lot. The language is pretty easy to pick up. It helps that I can cross reference all memories and come up with distinct answers for what words represent thanks to context and uses in sentences that have the same grammar style as Japanese that most of my memories have.

I learned that the women’s name is Amano Hitomi, my fathers is Takaki Hitomi and my name is Shimada. I practice my throwing skill in my free time. It’s interesting because it works on a ball or anything I fling around with my bodies’ little arms. Including little pieces of blanket that I can manage to barely grab.

Skill Throwing lvl 25

Description: increased accuracy by lvl * 5%

lvl 25: increased throwing power by lvl %

It’s made some good progress. I still havnt chosen my other skills yet since I havnt really faced any real hardships besides asthma and a few other small illnesses. Disease resistance is slowly rising in level to remove asthma which is nice. Considering the approximate increase in skill level I should have it at level 75 by the time I am four years old so long as I lick everything and just expose myself as much as possible.

The question is what should I use my other skill slots for? I’ll probably just pick up a bunch of survival-based ones again but instead of just surviving, I have to save people or something this time instead. I may need to keep in mind to leave one slot open. That way if I get another fusion slot, I can plan for it rather than be stuck with the skills that I have.

Several years pass.

Starting school today, nothing too exciting has happened yet. Scared the heck out of mom and dad when I started throwing a bouncy ball, they got me. I didn’t think much of it and threw it as hard as I could. It hit exactly where I wanted it to, then it bounced off the ground hit the wall but instead of coming back to me it kept going and bounced all over. I may have broken a few dishes. That was the first time my new ‘parents’ ever scolded me. The ball was never allowed into the living room again. Oh well it was just training for my skill it’s not like I can’t do that in my room instead. I stopped going out and talking to them as much. Deciding to spend time on my skills instead. God, I wish I could level disease resistance through a better method then exposing myself to different gross things.

School is trivial; my mental age is something like 80-90 and I have an eidetic memory, so the experience and memory just make it so... boring. When people reach for me suddenly, I flinch unable to move as quickly in this body as my mind seems to think it should that’s a problem I still have with my ‘parents’ too. They are so touchy, every time they hold me, I just think back to the images of that last embrace. Looking at the white door in my mental library. Putting off looking for another day.

Recess is terrible, I don’t really enjoy playing with children other than my-Haru’s own. Being in this position again where adults look at you with silly faces being made just seems so idiotic. I mean Haru made them to his own kids, but it was different.

I don’t really talk to any of the other kids theres no real point. I can’t really pretend to be like them, so I just decided to read on my own. As long as I don’t grow close to any of them, they will likely not die because of something I did or didn’t stop. The teacher was surprised when I decided to bring my own book to the first day of class. She was even more surprised when it was a large novel. One of the few interesting things I’ll never run out of in a world is vastly different forms of media. Different worlds develop differently so I can read as many stories as I’d like without worry of running into the same story later on.

Several more years pass.

I’m ten years old and joining the baseball team. My parents encouraged me to start afterschool activities pushing me to interact more with others. It got turned to baseball since I liked throwing stuff so much. They cheer me on from the sidelines this has been an oddly normal life. I suppose I should make sure I save my parents from whatever is coming. Staring at the Umpire on the other side of the plate. I pitch for an older team since there may have been a few times where I threw a little too hard for kids my age so they moved me up in the league.

The throwing skill has leveled up significantly over the years. The level 50 ability gives an amount of control of the spin of what I throw. I stare at the teenager up to bat. Hes staring at me nervously fidgeting at the bat. Likely having seen whats happened to the last several people to go up to bat.

Glaring at him slowly I throw a straight ball as fast as I can. My arms are still underdeveloped so I’m only throwing at a speed of 78 mph so close to the bare minimum for professional league. Even then that’s mostly because of my skill. It’s at lvl 51 now so if it wasn’t for the skill, I’d only be throwing at roughly 52 mph.

THUNK

Still fast enough to move so fast that most kids this age can’t react to hit.

THUNK

THUNK

“OUT!”

My normally neutral face gaining a slight smirk as I get another one out. Thanks to me our team has gotten a significant number of wins. There are a few times when the batter is espeshally skilled and they manage to hit it in time either by luck or practice. Or they bunt it making my hard pitch send the ball flying. It’s probably the only real fun with other kids I’ve had in this life. Well, that and video games are a welcome distraction.

A game recently came out called Btooom. It’s fun and my parents don’t mind me playing it all the time since I’ve done so well in school and sports. They were actually ecstatic that I wanted to do something ‘normal’ and jumped on it. It’s played on the XDbox 720 which is this worlds sbox 90 equivalent. Even the controllers are pretty much the same. I play it sometimes to relax but I’m not that great at it. Games are fun just it’s so annoying when your character can’t move like you want them to fast enough. It sometimes feels like my mind sees everything on the screen quick enough my character can’t move as fast as I could in that situation! So, I may get a little upset at some games. Bah regardless of the excuses I just never really got into the game above casual play.

Our household has gotten a lot cheerier over the years. My ‘parents’ are even considering another child since they want a more ‘normal’ kid. I felt slightly offended before realizing they had a point. I’m not exactly the best child. But I’ll make sure they survive I owe them this much. In my free time I researched possible safehouse locations and routes and have everything in a book on my bedside. I’ve made some of my own money at school through various bets and bribes from other students to do their work. I mean what does it really matter if this world might end anyways? Using that money, I’ve collected a lot of essential items for when the apocalypse whatever it may be happens. I have several disaster scenarios planned out for in case they happen. One of which is just going to an island this time instead of attempting to establish a city. It will be a lot easier if I only care for my family. I hope it’s enough for what ever it is. Though most of the plans all depends on a few of the same factors.

First is a pair of satellite phones. I gave one to my -sigh- ‘mother’ and told her to always have it on her. I used the excuse of when I went away to camp once and there was no phone reception at it someone got hurt and no one was able to get ahold of anyone. She ate up the story and always keeps it in her purse. She never questioned where I got the funding for the phone though. Perhaps she assumed ‘father’ got it to calm her worrying and just didn’t want to take credit?

Next a bunch of water purifying equipment. I stole or purchased over the phone. I also stockpiled antibiotics and some other small medication. It’s surprising how dumb people are when you offer to buy their medication after they get sick. Antibiotics don’t really help unless you finish the entire dosage. But they are prescribed to people for the smallest of things, I have a bunch of half used bottles organized under my bed based on expiration date and type in nice containers. Its also part of how I managed to get my funding. Some kids are willing to sell things for $5 and what they think is a fortune at this age. Then I turn around and sell it to someone that’s older for much more. Like Adderall from some of the ADHD kids to some of the local graduate school kids. I’m putting the money to a good use, so I don’t feel as bad about it.

Finally, I have acquired several throwing knives. I’ve practiced throwing various things on a tree in the park. Spin control has improved my throwing ability immensely. I typically only mess up when I am attempting a trick now or from a significant distance away. If I had a teacher or something for this, I may be able to improve faster. I’ve learned most of my knife throwing skills off of online videos and movies.

Four more years pass

I forgot how awkward puberty is. I’m 14 again and I forgot just how much emotional restraint I needed to get through it without outbursts… I continue to avoid all the other kids at school just moving by and excelling. My parents are concerned but don’t say much since I’m doing well in school. They tried talking to the other parents to try to help me out but I don’t bother to really try.

I can tell they are worried. It’s just… It’s hard to think about friends when I think of Saeko and Saya in my last life. I remember all the people I was close to and just how pointless it all was when I’m alone again. I…I don’t want to feel whatever Haru is feeling if he still hasn’t come back to the library. I would have probably tried to avoid my parents too if they werent so freaking supportive.

I don’t want to be all alone… I just… I don’t want to hurt like that. I…I know caring will just make it hurt worse when they are gone.