《Jack and Jill Conquer the Shattered World》94: Vacation Over

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I was taking some time off. It was my first actual vacation in the longest time. Normally, there’d be something calling me to the Archive, or to the Empty-Dream, or into the office where I’d generally be put on some conference call with the Division’s senior managers.

This time, however, it had just been me spending time with friends and spending time with Jack and Kal. I had just finished some alone time with Jack, then after we were finished getting frisky and just taking things easy, Jack pushed me out of bed. Stretching luxuriously before pulling the comforter back up over her ample breasts, and going back to bed.

“Mama needs her sleep...How about you go and find your other woman. It’s no good to play favorites, you know?” she teased.

I rolled my eyes at her before rolling out of bed and heading towards the shower. I often found myself feeling that Jack wanted things between Kalpana and me to work out, even more than we did. Sometimes it got a little annoying because she could be a bit pushy when it came to my social interactions, but mostly I appreciated the support. Especially in those not so rare occasions when something happened and I found myself reverting back to my twelve-year-old self, feeling awkward and insecure over some minor thing that happened.

On a not entirely unconnected note, I’m now willing to admit that me and Jack becoming a thing might have been largely through Jack’s efforts. You’d think it's literally impossible for a being of knowledge to be dense, or “clueless” about anything, but you’d be wrong. Also, sometimes even when I was reading a situation correctly, I’d either shy away, or be weirdly indecisive because having near-infinite intelligence sometimes just makes you dumber at the speed of light, because then you box yourself in by envisioning all the things that can go wrong, that much quicker.

Funnily enough, I already had something planned with Kalpana for today. Kalpana was very big on sports. I was whatever when it came to sports, but when you’re with someone and things are still in the courtship phase you generally at least try to show some interest in their interests. In any case, Kalpana had discovered that there were several major sports leagues in the Shattered Heavens. It honestly made sense, not only were there various gods and spirits of athleticism from various cultures throughout our multiverse, there were also war gods, who’d be into the competition, and gods of partying who’d be into the associated celebrations.

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Kalpana and a number of her sisters were shopping around for the sports that would be the colony’s sports, as in the new sport that they’d all be following and maybe taking part in. They used to have a game that they were really into back in their homeworld. It had been some permutation of rugby and golf, but with flying and portals. They didn’t play the game anymore because of the associated bad memories, but those within the colony, that were athletically inclined, apparently were in the market for a new thing to obsess over and follow avidly.

My friends in that group of junior-immortals that I often forget that we’re a part of, got me box tickets to an event. Apparently, the Shattered Heavens had a sport that was like a zero-gee blending of a certain monster-fighting game and soccer. It was violent, it was bright, there were always all sorts of abilities and powers being thrown around. I figured it would be right up Kalpana’s alley, so I asked her out on a date.

The event itself ended up being pretty meh in my books, but Kal seemed to like it well enough. She wasn’t really fond of watching the monsters fight, but she liked that their trainers also got involved in the action as well. Running up gravity alteration ramps while head-butting the various colored balls into the goals. At the end of the night, Kalpana and I headed over to a restaurant we’d both been to a couple of times and liked. It was one of the many owned by Demon-lord Yuval.

Speaking of Yuval, she and Jack had been chatting a lot lately. Yuval, Dilshad, and strangely enough an angel by the name of Ellison, were amongst Jack’s steadily growing social circle, along with our friend Empress Kian. While Yuval and Dilshad had met Jack centuries ago, when we’d just shown up in the Shattered-Heavens, Jack had taken her time to gradually win them over. So they weren’t merely people that were friendly with us, they were close allies. Like the difference between a wall built with quick-cement and plaster, and a wall made with stone, iron, and concrete.

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Returning to the topic of my date with Kalpana, it ended pretty well. After we left the restaurant we went back to Kalpana’s place and fooled around a little. Kal and I had been dating for a while, and we’d already long reached the point where things were getting physical. It felt a bit weird heading from me and Jack’s bed to end up in Kal’s bed, but I was slowly getting accustomed. Which I suppose made sense, because eventually there’d be a day when it was all one big bed...at least figuratively speaking, and perhaps literally speaking.

The next morning as I was returning home from Kalpana’s apartment, I got a ping on the Empty-Network. It was Director Seren. Calling him Director Kaylan stopped being the thing to do, when it became clear that his twin sister Director Dana would often be nearby. I answered the call and saw the boss’ usual exhausted-looking face, projected at me.

“Hiya, boss,” I said.

“Hey, Calloway,” said Director Seren. Puffing away on a cigarette.

“What’s up?” I said.

“Nothing much...But we noticed that there was a major attack attempt on your Empty-Dream last night,” said Director Seren.

“Oh, yeah…And,” I said. Nodding, because I’d gotten a pinged with the report about it from the AIs I had looking over the Empty-Dream and the Empty-Harvesters that were on duty at the time. On the one hand, it had been a fairly large attack attempt. On the other hand, it still wasn’t big news to me because after the Empty-Dream reached a certain scale there were constant attempts on the dimension both from outside and within.

“We’re constantly being attacked...It’s no big deal. Make a space and there’ll always be things trying to crawl inside,” I said. There were beings that were constantly trying to hack the space to take over control. There were beings that were constantly trying to drill their way through its protections to consume the dream. They were essentially a mixture of termites, sink flies, and other pests, on a cosmic scale. Looking for food and suitable habitation, where they shouldn't be.

“Yeah...I get that. But in this case, it kind of is a big deal. I mean good job on the defense you set up, but in this case, we’ve got intel that the parties responsible were part of one of the groups that are hostile to the House of Antipodes and the Division...and now you, because of your association with us...So, I figured it’d be best to A) give you the heads up about them, and B) if possible see if you wouldn’t mind stepping up and giving them a spanking for us...otherwise they’ll get emboldened and it’ll turn into a whole thing…” said Director Seren.

I thought the matter over, as I pulled up data on the group responsible for that last big attack and decided that they were scummy enough that I wouldn’t mind putting a foot up their asses if they were going to try and be a pain in my ass. Still, I decided to hedge a bit.

“You mind if I talk this over with my people first?” I said.

“Sure thing. We honestly just wanted you to consider it. Don’t be a stranger if you need help,” said Director Seren. Nodding and ending the call.

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