《Jack and Jill Conquer the Shattered World》7: Random Awfulness

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Time passed. Summer ended. Fall got thoroughly underway, and I turned twelve. My life was chugging along smoothly when all of a sudden as I was passing through the trellised arch that separated the backyard of the estate from the gardens. A whole bunch of foul-smelling water, and rotting meat was dumped on my head. In the time that I’d been studying the [Tale of Empty Archivist’s Heir], I’d gained a new power. “Data-sampling”. It was basically, an identification, scrutiny, and appraisal type power. Using that power now told me that I’d just been covered in months’ old pork and material gathered from chamber pots. With that question answered, my next question was why. Why?!?!

I heard a bunch of laughter. Some of it younger, a lot of it older. A teenage boy with dirty-blond hair and light-brown skin stepped out from behind a tree. He was joined by a couple of other children. He was laughing too, but there was something especially ill-humored about his laugh. When the laughter stopped, his expression resolved to sneer.

“Heh...You should say your face, servant...You’re supposed to eat your lunch. Not wear it!” said the teenager. Feigning a laugh after telling a joke that made absolutely no sense to me.

“Ah, well...I jest. This was just a little prank for me and my siblings. Thanks for being such a great sport. Now be a good chap, and clean this mess up, servant. It kind of stinks,” said the teenager. Giving me a wide berth as he and the other children left the garden.

I still stood stock still. Wondering on earth had just happened. Who was that boy? Why was I covered in piss and pork? Then I kind of just pulled myself together, the visceral mix of anger and upset, suppressed by my Wisdom Stat gifted mental resilience, and some of the mind-altering effects of the system a’la the [Tale of the Empty Archivist’s Heir]. Now that I was calm again, and no longer on the verge of freaking out and/or exploding into a fiery ball of rage, I still had plenty of questions. However, like that big shit had said, I also had plenty of cleaning to do. While I wasn’t entirely sure I still wanted this job anymore after, whatever that little “prank” was, the other masters of the household would not be pleased if they saw this mess in the garden.

However, if there was one thing I “did” know for sure now, it was that from now on, I’d be increasing my investments in agility and dexterity. In fact, I’d probably add both of them to my roster of my investments as soon as I’d earned enough Potential to afford it. Perception hadn’t been able to save me, because there were often Marrow clan members, and household staff-members, either loitering in, or passing through the areas I was working, and there hadn’t been enough ill-intent sent my way for me to feel it until the guy was right in front of me. Galling as it was, I suspected most of the little shits behind the big shit genuinely just saw this as a fun prank. Nothing serious. However, if I’d been faster, I probably could have stepped out of the way of that falling washtub.

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“Oof...What happened to you, boyo?” said Old Achillies.

After finishing up my work in the garden. I’d dropped off my equipment, and then I headed back to the dorms where I ran into the old man, the head of the household staff. I vaguely gestured at myself, and with a very unhappy expression I said,

“This is the aftermath of some of the younger Masters’ and Mistresses’ pranks.” Making it clear that I was low-key complaining and hoping he would and could do something.

The old man “did” surprise me by giving me a glimmer of a sympathetic expression, but that was about as far as things went.

“Ah...that’s tough luck, that is. Welp, I’ll leave you to clean up. Hope you were smart enough not to track any of that into the main house,” said Old Achilles. His wrinkled face hardened, and his tone became stern again.

“No...I used the backdoor, like always,” I said.

“Good, good…” said Old Achillies. Raising his hand to clap me on the shoulder, but then thinking twice and just walking away. I took off my clothes, and I probably would have burned them, if I had more than just the three sets. Then after a thorough sponge bath in the little closet that I sometimes used as a bathroom, and changing, because I was a bit shy about bathing or changing in front of the other guys, I headed out with my soiled clothes tucked into a bucket, because groundskeeping was dirty work and I’d probably need this piss and pork soaked set by the end of the week.

Fortunately, I was on good terms with a fair number of the household staff because I was pretty strong by now, and I didn’t mind helping them carry heavy stuff if they needed it. So, I could probably beg the estate’s laundress to add this to her next load. If that didn’t shake out I’d either have to spend eight copper of “my” money to go into the city and resolve the issue there. As I headed out, I took long strides that were maybe much closer to stomps than I’d intended them to be, going by the depth of my footsteps. Then I ran into “her”.

“Jill!” said Jacqueline. Sounding oddly out of breath and concerned.

“Jack…” I said grunting and then stopping because by this point I realized that I’d gotten hot under the collar again, and Jack, Jacqueline, certainly hadn’t done anything for me to be taking this random awfulness out on her.

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“Er, I mean, Miss Marrow,” I said. Nervously looking around, because Jacqueline was a member of the house, and I was just a member of the staff, and being seen, or heard, being overly informal with her could probably get me canned.

“Jill, you didn’t happen to go into the garden already today did you?” said Jack. Looking even paler than usual.

“Yes,...Yes, I did,” I said. Tilting the bucket with my dirty clothes in it so she could see.

“Damn...I’m so, so, sorry,” said Jack.

“You knew?” I said. Feeling a little hurt.

“Yes...But, they had that cow, Madame Grisham, hold me up after our lessons, and then by the time I was done with her, I totally raced out here to find you and warn you but well...It seems I was too late,” said Jack. Going from looking guilty, to looking annoyed, to looking tired.

I sighed, and after a quick spot-check to make sure that there wasn’t anyone nearby who would see, I gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“It’s fine...It was just a small prank. But, who was that lanky jackass, and why does he suddenly have it out for me?” I said.

“That lanky jackass was my brother, Yulien,” said Jack.

I suddenly felt a bit nervous, and I hastily began to apologize.

“Shit...My bad, I didn’t…”

“No, no...Yulien ‘is’ a jackass. Yulien’s the worst. His mother hated my mother and me by extension and between that and the fact that I don’t suck up to him like all the other kids do, he’s always had it out for me,” said Jack.

“Oh…” I said. Not really sure what to say to that.

“Anyway, again, I’m super sorry. I don’t know how, but I think he somehow figured that well we’re like, you know... friend-like…” said Jack. Making things all awkward by blushing for no reason.

Since that day where we first met in the woods, Jack and I had often hunted together. Hunting beasts was risky business, especially for children like us, and two was safer than one after all. That somehow spilled over into Jack frequently coming to chat with me, when I was working because, as I’d slowly learned from staff scuttlebutt, my interactions with Jack, and simple observation, Jack was probably not the Marrow clan’s favorite child. In fact, she might have been the exact opposite of that.

Her mother was a cocktail singer that her father fancied, made his concubine on a whim, and then just sort of forgot about. The rest of the Marrow clan patriarch’s wives had been far from pleased about the whole affair. The woman died shortly after giving birth to Jack and Jack has basically just sort of lived the life of an unwanted apparition within the household. This all snowballed into Jack getting isolated a lot, which is why she spent most of her free time either reading in her family’s library, practicing her magic, or pestering me.

“So, he’s picking on me to pick on you?” I said. Putting all the pieces together.

Jack nodded.

I released a huffy breath and ran a hand over my hair.

“....Fine,” I said.

“Fine?” said Jack.

“I don’t mind...And it’s not your fault, your brother is smarmy-beanpole,” I said.

Jack laughed. Seeming relieved.

“So you’re not mad?”

“Oh, I ‘am’ mad, but not at you...Just tell me how big a deal is this? And does it mean I’ll be out of a job soon?” I said.

Jack paled again and frantically shook her head.

“You’re fine...You’re fine! Yulien is old enough that he's started going to the school in the city instead of just having lessons with Ms.Grisham, like us younger kids. Plus, he tends to have a not-that-great attention span, when it comes to these sorts of things in general, he’s normally too busy trying to catch up to our older brothers to sink all his efforts into trying to make me miserable,” said Jack.

I sighed in relief, but still felt a pang of concern.

“Alright, then...Well if you’ll excuse me, miss. I’ve got some laundry to get washed,” I said. Nodding, smiling, and heading on my way.

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