Amid waves of stink, Aria slouched in the copilot’s seat. They’d left the track far behind, and Aria could rest, knowing a train wasn’t head their way. She propped her head up, tried to relax, and watched Pan.

Pan occupied the pilot’s chair and leaned on the dash. Her aura glowed in blue and grey, with threads of pukey green.

Neither of them were exactly comfortable, resting so close to a garbage tank. Awkward silence added to the discomfort, and Pan refused to meet Aria’s eyes.

Pan’s gaze darted to the windshield. “How long did it take you to find me?”

“Just a few days.”

Pan smiled and shook her head. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t go back to my job now. But, then again, I abandoned my post, so maybe that’s for the best.”

Aria propped herself up. “What is your job? What have you been doing for two years?”

Aria would guess waypoint keeper. Pan had the tug and the knowledge. The only thing she didn’t have was the stereotypical hat. Pan’s use of the ring and the tracks probably had Sotir cursing aboard the Ischyros while Alban refused to approach the ring and break the law. Sotir wouldn’t get a good read. Pan would get away. Aria was worried that her little prediction had more repercussions than the fortune teller’s frustration.

“Well, Pan? What do you do?” Aria asked again.

“I…” Pan hesitated. Pukey green cracks broke across her aura. “Did you like the drawings I sent you?”

A dodge. Aria would allow it.

She sat up and leaned forward. “I love the drawings you sent me.”

Purple pride ran through Pan’s aura. It looked strange, lit up against the backdrop of grey and blue. “So, they come across?”

Aria smiled. “Oh yes. They really do. I can’t imagine the trouble you went to. How did you do it?”

Pan smiled and straightened. “I matched an emotion to each pencil, and I labeled them all. Then, I held each pencil, only when I felt that emotion. I have a schedule. One day I have to be happy. Another sad. The next angry. You get the idea. Then, when I draw, I have to maintain that emotion and switch between them as needed.”

Aria laughed. “That is a lot of trouble.”

“It’s no trouble at all.” Pan sat back in her chair and folded her hands in her lap. She gazed into space, with empty eyes. Blue and grey glowed strong and slowly blotted out Pan’s features.

Aria waited a beat. “They are so special to me.”

Pan’s aura flared blue. Her features still hid. “I wanted them to be.”

“They’re the first art I’ve really seen in years.” Aria shrugged. “Sometimes, I wonder why you sent them to me. You left and…”

Pan drew breath but hesitated. Yellow cracks of fear passed through her aura. “It’s…hard to handle them. I have to levitate the pages and the pencils when my emotions are wrong. Helped me get better with telekinesis. Though, I was good enough to kill a woman.”

Aria’s heart sank. “Pan, you can come back. It’ll be okay.”

Pan’s base colors remained blue, but yellow, grey, and even a touch of red drew thin rivers through the light.

Pan slouched and clasped her hands harder. Her fingers curled tight. “Maybe, you forgot. I. Killed. A woman. I killed…Brynn.”

Aria reached for Pan but didn’t touch her. “Right, but you can make amends.” Then, Aria closed the gap and put a hand over Pan’s. “I’m not afraid of you.”

Beneath a cloud of aura, Pan’s eyes flicked to Aria. “You aren’t, but they will be. I still have a bad temper. I’m still a reaper.”

Aria felt herself frown. Slowly, she let Pan go and rested back against her seat. “You’re still a reaper but maybe not so bad tempered. Lately, you don’t have that much red in your aura.”

“It’s just resting,” Pan said. “People don’t change. I’m still me.”

“You’re wrong about that. People do change. The detective – Detective Casimir – his aura is different. Mine...is mostly the same. But, Chara’s has never been so blue, and Sotir’s...” Aria broke off.

Pan’s aura flushed pink. With narrowed eyes, she asked, “How is telling me about all the people I negatively affected supposed to make me want to come home?”

Aria winced. “Oh, good point.”

Pan didn’t let a moment pass. “I have another question. What happened to all the things I left behind in my room? The clothes mostly.”

Odd segway.

Aria shifted and crossed her legs. “Actually, I have your things. I asked if I could keep a lot of your stuff, and the mentors said yes.”

Aria used to look at the things and see Pan’s aura. Aria’s own aura gradually took over.

“Did you keep everything?” Pan leaned forward.

Aria smiled and laughed. “Well, not your underwear, but I did keep your nicer clothes.”

Pan grinned. She put a hand on her chest. “Can you send them to me? I really miss Scaldin clothes. Everything out here has a distinct lack of flowers and lace.”

Aria stared. “Pan, you won’t come back, and yet, you want me to send you comforts from home. Doesn’t that strike you as hypocritical?”

“No. Because I never said I didn’t want to come home. I said I don’t think I can.” Pan leaned forward, and her aura reached across the space between them.

Aria exhaled. She couldn’t assure Pan that things would be perfect, like before. Everyone’s aura betrayed feelings of negativity when the subject of Pan arose. Even Aria’s own aura filled with grief, frustration, and sometimes, anger. If Pan never sent the drawings, Aria might have very different feelings about her old friend. Maybe, that was why Pan sent them. To let Aria know that she hadn’t changed in the ways that mattered, and in the ways she had, she’d changed for the better. At least, that’s how Aria felt looking at Pan now.

“I’m sorry,” Pan said. Lavender sprinkled through her aura. “You’ve had to resort to friendship with people half your age.”

Aria’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

Pan nodded towards Irini. “She’s thirteen. You’re twenty-seven. You’re picking up newly minted arcanes before they realize who you are.”

Aria laughed. “Maybe. I don’t really have any friends, aside from Sotir. I just met Irini.” Aria crossed her arms and stared at her own lap. She saw her aura of blue, with a hint of yellow at the edge. A smile still touched Aria’s lips.

Pan broke the silence. “So, it’s lonely.”

Aria raised her eyes. “Yes. It is. You probably know exactly how I feel.”

Pan propped her elbows on her knees. Blue and lavender swirled around her and tickled Aria. Pan gestured between the two of them. “Why don’t you join me? You don’t have to go back. It’s free out here.”

Aria froze.

Pan continued, “I still have a job to do, but I picked it.”

Aria shook her head. “Pan, I can’t.”

Pan scowled. “Oh, don’t tell me you love the work.”

“Pan, no.” Aria shook her head again. In halting words, she added, “I really don’t hate my work.” Aria wouldn’t go so far as to use the word hate, but she might say dislike. Still, she needed to convince Pan to come back, so she would hide that fact – if she could. “I don’t love being overworked, but that’ll change. It’ll be enough for me.” Aria stared straight ahead and hoped it would. “In three years or so, I can have a spouse. I can have a house, and I can pick what work I want to do. I’m so close.”

“The only reason they give you that time is so you’ll manufacture more arcanes for the cause,” Pan said. “It just so happens to line up with what you want to do for yourself.”

Aria felt her gaze harden. “It used to line up with your goals as well. And, I know it still does.” Aria gave a shake of her head. “I can’t come.”

Pan leaned back. Her aura pulled away. “Sorry for asking.”

Aria let out a long breath. “I think I might be able to get Gavain. He’s an ambassador. Maybe, you remember?”

Pan nodded. “I remember. He tried to offer me a deal.”

Aria felt warm. She wanted to tell Pan all about Gavain but felt she shouldn’t. Aria had never imagined a life where her milestones were not shared with a friend, but she lived it. How would she feel if she had no prospects, and Pan tried to tell her about a beau?

Aria’s aura continued to reach for Pan in shades of powder blue and pale pink. “I really want you to come back. You can do those things you used to dream about. Those simple things. We can prove you didn’t do the killings, and then…” Aria waved a dismissive hand. “It’ll just be the ship theft and destruction, which many Scaldin kind of approve of.”

“They like it so long as they can blame me.” Pan pointed at herself. “Someone outside their control. And, you forgot Brynn. I’m still guilty of that.”

Aria sighed. “I wish Sotir were here. He could tell you what to expect. He could tell me.”

Pan held up a hand. “Oh, enough about Sotir. Just drop it.” She faced the windshield, swiveling her chair with haste. “What if the Soffigen demand my body, my head, or worse, me alive? What if they want to be the ones to punish me and require the Scaldin to turn me in, or face war?” Pan rubbed her forehead. “What if Brynn doesn’t like me returning home? That’s the big problem here.” Pan’s eyes glazed. She looked out the forward window and just stared. A moment of silence passed, and Pan took a long breath. “She wrecked my whole life. I think every day – what if Brynn showed them that she wasn’t like the reapers that came before? Would we all be living in harmony now? But, she didn’t do her job. She proved she was just as creepy and murderous as the others.”

Another long stretch of silence followed, in which Aria wondered if Irini could hear their conversation. Private words had a strong effect on the hearing faculties. Aria looked back and saw Irini on the bunk, sitting with one knee up. She played on a tablet. Maybe, Irini heard it all, but she seemed absorbed in her game.

Aria also wondered about Brynn. Talking one on one, Pan seemed sane, not like someone who would imagine her dead mentor haunting her every move. Pan saw ghosts all the time. Shouldn’t Aria believe her?

Aria turned to Pan. “It’s your job now.”

“What?”

“It’s your job to prove that you aren’t creepy and murderous. Brynn didn’t choose to do it, but you still can.” Aria pointed at Pan as she said it.

“No, I can’t. I already ruined my chances. I stole enemy ships. I destroyed them. Who knows, maybe people didn’t always get away? Maybe, I really did kill some Soffigen. I still think they deserve a lot of what I did, but I never intended to kill them.” Pan shook her head.

“You can make mistakes and come back from them. Besides, if Brynn forced you to do all that, you’re letting her destroy your chances again.” Aria leaned forward, and her aura led.

Pan stared back. She scowled. Her aura receded and turned grey.

Aria was getting nowhere. She begged Pan to come back. Pan changed the subject. Aria needed to appeal to Pan’s deeper desires. It seemed Pan would tolerate loneliness, the loss of her dreams, and the loss of her integrity. All to remain free. Pan wouldn’t even rise to the challenge of doing better than Brynn. What could motivate Pan?

“I’m not surprised honestly.” Aria stared hard. “Why can’t you surprise me?”

Pan’s aura thrummed with red frustration and a hint of anger. Yellow curiosity and eagerness all betrayed Pan’s desire to please.

Aria wore a straight face, but she smiled inwardly. “You know how I see gold in certain auras?”

“Yeah. Firefighters and stuff.”

“And you, remember?” Aria raised her eyebrows.

Pan’s aura sank deep, going almost invisible again.

“I see gold in the auras of people who do their best to help others, who really think about what they could do to make Scaldigir a better place. I see it in you, and I saw a lot of it when you fought Brynn. You really surprised me. Just surprise me again.”

Pan stiffened. She shook her head. “I don’t want to be gold.”

“Oh yes, you do.”