《The Space Spoon》23. A Ship with Personality

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"Home, sweet home!" mocked Tejeda as he entered the meeting room on SCF1.

The admirals let him take his own spoils of war, meaning this old junk. The Nubilae thought he would forget the scent of mold and the patched-up walls. This was what he deserved for hoping. Well, he just had to shut off his smell receptors during his next shift.

He jumped onto a chair and spun about, waiting for everyone to come in and take a seat. There was only room for seven persons at the table, so one place remained vacant. Tejeda had picked up E00 from the scrap metal junkyard, and their team was nearly complete.

Shayla, C1313, Jackeye, E00, and the Interstellar Police officer who had passed Tejeda's test were all in the room. The hacker and the energy being remained on their feet while the others sat at the table.

"I don't enjoy speeches, so I will keep this brief," Tejeda said, without pausing the spinning. "This ship is a total wreck. We need to make some improvements to it. The first item on our to-do list is to navigate to Erchpri in the Orpri system and acquire an engineer. It just so happens that I know the perfect man for the job."

"That is actually a great idea," Shayla approved. "But, Tejeda, please, can you stop spinning around? Dizziness looms already. I don't want a headache."

"Sure thing, my dear Shayla," the Nubilae agreed as he grabbed the edge of the table, putting an end to his momentum. "I have only one other thing on today's meeting agenda, but I will keep that for the end. Do any of you have anything to say or any questions at all?"

"I have a question," said Jackeye, leaning against the wall. "How much time till I can connect to a console?"

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"Half an hour tops!" Tejeda winked. "Anybody else?"

Shayla got up and walked to E00. She clicked the red unmute button on his shoulder, allowing his voice to be heard. "Thank you very much! I wanted to say something right away, but you kept me quiet for far too long." His eyes gleamed as if something exciting had happened. As he proceeded, his metallic hands floated through the air. "I would like to offer a suggestion. This body is insufficient for me, and the same can be said about this power core."

E00 pointed toward the glowing light in his chest. "We need ship upgrades and I am an energy being who can provide shielding capabilities way above what you can buy. It would be in all our interests if I were to inhabit this vessel. I think I can even pilot it and many other things. Believe me, I will be the best ship in the universe."

"I don't know about that," Tejeda pondered, his new black eyes narrowing at E00. "One day, you may decide you want more juice and drive us directly into a pulsar to satisfy your urges."

"I most definitely will not do such a thing," the artificial voice said, stressing each syllable as everyone scrutinized him. "You are just saying this because you don't trust people; it must be lonely to be you. I saved your life on Uthion, and you know better than anybody that I wish you no harm."

"Fine." Tejeda's kind face and warm voice altered to a more serious note. "Consider yourself under probation. You can take over the ship, but I expect you to behave. That means you will obey my orders and keep babbling at a minimum."

A flash of amber light blinded everyone for a few seconds. When they opened their eyes again, E00's robotic body stood motionless, its eyes empty with no purple light coming from them. A synthetic voice but capable of more modulations than the robot's floated through the room. "I have always wanted to be a ship. So this is how it feels to have people inside you."

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"I thought I ordered you to reduce your talking to a bare minimum!" Tejeda yelled, nearly on the verge of snapping.

However, it appeared that E00's empathic talents at that moment were at a bare minimum. His artificial voice sounded like a child's. "Oh, I wonder if I can..."

The Nubilae could feel vibrations coming through the floor as screens flared up on the walls. A sudden movement threw everyone across the room. Tejeda shouted at the top of his lungs, his body pressed against the tiles. "E00, turn on the inertial dampeners before starting the engines!"

Almost immediately, the intense pull subsided and they all fell onto the floor. The bodiless voice announced, "The inertial dampeners are now up and running. Sorry for that. I will get the hang of it in no time!"

"I hope so," Tejeda muttered more for himself. He went to the table and waited for the others to have a seat again. "If there is no one who has anything else to add, I will get straight to the last item on today's agenda."

The Nubilae glanced up after no one stopped him, as if he was expecting E00 to make another blunder. The stillness compelled him to continue. "Everyone knows who I am, to a lesser or greater extent. C1313 is a driving robot who is only discovering herself. Shayla is the second in command, and everyone should defer to her while I am not around. Well, maybe even if I am around."

He came to a halt to meet her gaze, and the sparkle in her green eyes made him grin. But the inconspicuous stretch of his lips vanished as quickly as it emerged. "Jackeye will most certainly spend 99 percent of his time in his quarters. The ship is now E00. The only person about whom we don't know anything is you," Tejeda said this as he turned to face the young officer who had passed his test on the 777th floor.

Everybody turned to the boy in blue. His uniform wrinkled when his shoulders caved in. The hat on his head fell when he looked at the floor, revealing a soft pair of furry, pointy ears.

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