《Cannibal Cheerleader》103: Cold Cuts - Chapter 7
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“Have A?” Chase asked Lindsey.
“Ace,” corrected Lindsey. It was the only card Chase was holding. Lindsey had none, and neither did Alicia or the sasquatch. Almost an hour had passed, and by this point in the game there should not have been much guesswork left. Chase had somehow managed to stretch the game out considerably, though. “Go fish.”
Chase drew the last card in the deck. “Oh! A! Get A!” she cheered.
“Who'd have thunk it?” asked Lindsey.
Chase made a pair of the two cards and laid it neatly on the ground. She admired it proudly, then had a shocking, horrible realization. “But now have no more cards!” She felt tricked.
“No, that's a good thing. That means the game ended!” laughed Alicia. “Now we count our pairs and whoever has the most wins.”
When they tallied them up, Chase was the one on top. She couldn't believe it. “Yay! Win!Get most fish! This fun!” She glanced at the sasquatch with trepidation, then suggested, “One more game?”
“Sure, I'm up for it!” said Alicia. She started gathering up everyone's cards. “We probably should go soon, though. Caitlin and Flor are probably wondering where we are.”
“Aw, I'm sure they're fine,” replied Lindsey, taking out her phone.
The sasquatch was starting to nod off. It had certainly been a busy day. He had made so many new friends. Lindsey watching his eyes flutter closed, then snap open again. She leaned over toward Alicia and Chase and whispered, “Once he falls asleep, I think that's our cue to leave.” The other two girls nodded.
Alicia started shuffling the deck. She riffled the cards together, then bent her fingers in such a way that the cards whooshed together a second time. Chase gasped. “Ooh! What that?”
“Huh? Oh, That was a bridge shuffle. Want me to show you how to do it, Chase?”
“Yes!”
“Okay!” said Alicia. She looked at her backpack and started to get up. “I need some water first though, just a second.”
“I'll get it if you let me have a sip,” volunteered Lindsey. Her bottle had gone dry again a while ago.
It was a deal. Lindsey got up and walked over to Alicia's backpack while Alicia and Chase turned their attention to the cards. Alicia taught Chase the basic technique for a bridge shuffle, then handed her the deck.
“Leash?” asked Chase, as she cut the deck.
“Yeah?” asked Alicia.
“Thank for keep me not fight,” said Chase. She tried the shuffle. It failed with a sort of flat sound.
“Oh, did I do that?” asked Alicia. “I think you did it yourself, Chase.”
Chase gathered the two halves of the card deck back together and straightened them by tapping the edges on the floor. “Not by self. Leash help,” said Chase. “Feel glad I not fight. Feel much proud. Feel like am more like Leash and Lin and cheers. Not can do with Leash not show me how.”
Alicia smiled. She put a hand on Chase's knee and squeezed supportively. “Thanks Chase. That means a lot. You are like us, you are a cheerleader, a great cheerleader. I'm glad me and the others are succeeding in helping you believe it.”
Lindsey extracted the water bottle. As she turned and walked back to the group, she popped the lid open and tilted her head back to take a gulp. The sasquatch yawned.
Chase nodded and returned Alicia's smile. “Yep. Guess sassy not so bad after all.”
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When Lindsey returned to the card circle, her foot came down not on the cave floor, but on her own empty water bottle.
The bottle barrelled out from under her and her foot flew up in the air. “Aaaah!” she yelled, her balance tossed to the wind. Her back hit the floor, and her flying leg landed on something warm and damp. When the sasquatch ended his yawn, his mouth closed on something unexpected. He glanced down, and saw Lindsey's leg inside it.
At the sound of the scream, Chase and Alicia looked up. They took in the sight of Lindsey lying on her back, her leg in the sasquatch's mouth.
“Lindsey!” gasped Alicia. “Let go of her! Let go!”
“Ook?” asked the sasquatch.
“Sassy bad?” asked Chase, confused, looking from Alicia to the sasquatch. She jumped up to her feet. “Knew it!”
“Wh-whoa,” laughed Lindsey, “Hold on guys, I just-”
Alicia grabbed the deck of cards and bent it between her thumb and forefinger, shooting the cards at him in an obfuscating spray of fifty-two pick-up.
“Eee! Eee!” squealed the sasquatch.
When he opened his mouth, Lindsey's leg slipped out Alicia grabbed her under her arms, pulling her to safety. “C'mon, Lindsey! Let's get out of here!”
“But-”
Chase socked the sasquatch in the face. “You free, Lin! FREE! Now RUNNN!”
Lindsey sighed as she rose to her feet. “I guess this was sort of inevitable, in a way.”
“Eep! Eep!” the sasquatch cried, utterly shocked and confused. Chase spun him around and grabbed him around his waist. She arched her body backwards, lifting his feet off the floor and slamming his head and shoulders down on the stone in a flawless German suplex.
“Wow, flexible,” commented Alicia.
Chase grabbed the sasquatch by the fur and threw him into a stalagmite. The weight and force of the beast's careening bulk was enough to break the stalagmite off at its base, in a cloud of dust.
Coughing, the sasquatch fearfully picked up the stalagmite, holding it in front of himself as a shield. Thinking he was intending to use it as a weapon, Chase reached up and grabbed a thick stalactite hanging from the ceiling with both hands. Straining her arms, she pushed against it with all her might. With a loud crack, the formation snapped off.
She tucked the stalactite under her arm and charged at the sasquatch as if to joust him with it. The sasquatch barely jumped out of the way in time to avoid being impaled. Chase whirled around, and with both hands, stabbed the stalactite at the sasquatch's chest at an upward angle.
The sasquatch was surprised at the female's speed, and still stunned at her sudden burst of anger. He was barely able to deflect her thrust. His primitive mind raced. Why was she suddenly so angry? Why was she hitting him? Was it something he did?
Well, if he had to defend himself, he would. After another weighty parry, he slammed the body of his stalagmite against Chase's face. Chase stumbled back, brought a hand to her nose, and found it bloody.
The sasquatch flipped his stalactite around so he was gripping the skinny end, then, with a mighty roar, swung the heavy end down at Chase like a sledgehammer.
Chase was far nimbler than the apeman. She did a sideflip out of the way, leaving nothing in the stalagmite's path but the cave's cold, hard stone floor.
Smash! The sasquatch's stalagmite shattered. He was defenseless.
Chase took full advantage. In one smooth motion, she took hold of the tapered end of her stalactite, just as the sasquatch had with his weapon, and swung it in a wide, vertical arc against the sasquatch's chin, like a golf club or croquet mallet.
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CRONKCH! He flew out of the cave and landed soft in the powdery snow outside. He scrambled to his feet. The blizzard had grown monstrous. Through the swirling flakes he could barely see Chase appear in the mouth of the cave.
Apparently she had broken her stalactite on his head. He saw her calmly toss the chipped and broken stub that remained in her hand to the snow.
“Ook! Ook!” he grunted, shaking his head at her, trying to ward her off.
“You not scare me!” insisted Chase. She ran at him and leapt, aiming a flying kick at his head. The sasquatch caught her leg and slammed her on the ground.
It was a good thing there was so much fresh snow beneath her. The sasquatch was strong, and a solid blow on that frozen ground without any insulation would have broken more than a couple bones.
He lifted her back up, then slammed her on the ground again, then slammed her against a tree. That one made her see stars. Through them, Chase brought her other leg up to stomp her heavy boot against his chin. This must not have been pleasant, because the sasquatch's next move was to throw her away in rage. Chase rolled across the snow until she collided with she and Alicia's skis where they leaned against the wall at the cave's entrance.
More weapons. Chase snatched up Alicia's skis, one in each hand, and scrambled to her feet.
As she faced the sasquatch, though, she saw he wasn't coming at her. He was keeping his distance, watching her with fear. She remembered the promise she made herself: to try to understand this creature, to try to be sympathetic, to show it kindness. This was still an animal she was dealing with. As a human, with thoughts and feelings animals did not...it was in her power to grant mercy when the situation called for it. It may even have been her responsibility. She needed to be lenient with this poor creature.
So she threw him one of the skis. The sasquatch caught it, the hard wood clapping loudly against his palm. He looked at it, confused. “Ook?”
Chase dashed forward. She took her ski in both hands, brought it back, and swung it at him hard. The disbelieving sasquatch barely had time to block. Chase swung again, this time from the right. The sasquatch blocked again, although its feet weren't positioned to properly absorb the blow, and it was sent staggering in the opposite direction. It was clear that for all the sasquatch's strength, it wasn't an experienced fighter.
When he recovered, he turned his ski toward her and stabbed it at her. Chase flitted out of the way, then whacked him on the back of the head. He dropped his ski and sprawled forward on the snow.
Chase raised her ski and whacked him again, this time across his upper back. Snap! The ski broke in two like a toothpick.
The sasquatch growled and swept a clumsy hand out to trip Chase up. Chase leapt over it, did a flip in midair, then brought both boots down on the back of his head.
She jumped off, spun, and landed facing him a few feet away. Fighting off unconsciousness, he swatted at her. This time, his hand's speed was enhanced by pain and anger. He grabbed her around the ankle and tripped her up. Chase landed on her back.
The sasquatch wobbled blearily to his feet. He paused for a moment to get his bearings. His head was pounding, and even though he was standing still, everything around him seemed to be moving.
Then, he realized something. Everything WAS moving. Trees were moving past him fast, and picking up speed. He looked down at his feet. He was standing on his dropped ski, and was accelerating down the hill.
He was going fast! Snow was billowing around him on either side! Confused, too scared to jump off, he crouched down. “Eeek! Eeek! Eeek!” he screamed, as he zoomed away.
Lindsey and Alicia watched this from the cave's entrance. “What on Earth...?” asked Lindsey, trying not to laugh.
“Now him run!” shouted Chase, snapping on her skis. “I stop!”
“N-no, Chase,” chuckled Alicia. “I don't think that's what he's trying to do, you can probably just let him go-”
“This one for Lin!” announced Chase bravely, waving a ski pole in the air like it was a sword and she was about to gallop into battle. She took off downhill after him, pelting him with snowballs and pine cones until he was out of sight.
…......
Caitlin's breast felt soft and warm against Flor's palm. Flor gave the cheerleader a squeeze through the fabric of her shirt, causing Caitlin to moan directly into Flor's mouth.
Flor moved her hand downward, sliding it south across Caitlin's fit stomach. She took the bottom hem of Caitlin's top in her fingers and tugged it upward, a prompt for Caitlin to sit up and let her remove the garment.
Caitlin didn't move. “Mmm,” she moaned, pushing on Flor's shoulders gently to break off their kiss. “Not yet,” she breathed.
Flor let go. She let the hand rise to stroke Caitlin's hair as their lips were reunited.
Beep. The sound of a keycard unlocking the door to their room. They froze, and heard Lindsey's laughing voice on the other side.
“Oh, shit,” whispered Caitlin. Flor scrambled off her and the two girls sat up on the bed, just as the door swung open. Lindsey, Alicia and Chase walked in, looking very cold.
“H-hey guys!” greeted Caitlin loudly.
“Oh, there you guys are!” said Alicia. “Wow, it's warm in here.”
“Feel nice,” sighed Chase, relieved. She sat down on the floor in front of the baseboard heater and warmed her hands by it. Caitlin noticed the bottom of her top was messed up, and quickly straightened it.
“So what are you guys doing?” asked Lindsey, sitting down on the bed next to them.
“Who, us?” asked Caitlin nervously. “We're, uh, we're, uh...” She looked around, spotted the TV remote. She snatched it up into her hands. In her haste, she almost fumbled it. “We're looking for something on TV.”
Lindsey shrugged. “Yawn. Guess what WE were just doing! We were playing cards with bigfoot!”
There was no way a sentence that was sinking in on the first attempt. “...What?” asked Caitlin.
“We met the Gold Sasquatch of Bald Ridge!” reiterated Alicia with excitement.
“Nuh uh,” said Flor.
“Did meet gold sassy!” confirmed Chase. “Him take Lin, then us play go fish, then hit with pine cone!”
“You played go fish with him?” repeated Flor.
“Yes! I won! Had most fish!” cheered Chase.
Caitlin looked between them, perplexed. “What's the punchline?”
“There is no punchline!” replied Lindsey. She read Caitlin's expression, and smirked. “Do I sense...a touch of skepticism?”
“That might be it, yeah. Could be a lot of things,” answered Caitlin.
“Check my instagram,” said Lindsey coolly, taking the remote from her and looking for a football game. “The proof's all there!”
So Caitlin took out her phone. She brought up Lindsey's instagram, then watched the video in silence, with Flor looking over her shoulder. “Who's that guy?” she asked, bored.
“Who do you think? That's the sasquatch!”
Caitlin played the video again. “That's the fakest costume I've ever seen,” commented Flor.
THE END
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