《Cannibal Cheerleader》80: Babysitter Bloodbath - Chapter 1
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“I love you,” Alicia told the phone, grinning as she bit her lip. The redhead was aglow with romantic feelings as she reclined on the couch of the family that hired her. Her back leaned against the arm rest and her right foot was propped up on the center cushion with her knee bent. Her left leg was crossed over it, left foot kicking playfully in the air. The phone cord was knotted around her pointed finger.
She heard Kirk's voice come through from the other end. “I love you more,” was his bold claim.
Alicia giggled. “No, I love you more.”
“No, I love YOU more.”
“I love YOU more.”
“Nuh uh, I love YOU more.”
“Alicia! Alicia!” came the young voice of the little girl she was babysitting. Alicia looked at her. She was holding the TV remote, and behind her the TV was broadcasting nothing but static. “I tried to change the channel and I messed something up! Can you fix it? Pleeasse?”
Alicia smiled at the girl and sat up, swinging her legs down off the couch. “I'm gonna have to call you back, Kirk. Yeah. Yes! I love you too.” She laughed and hung up.
The girl dutifully handed over the remote. “Thanks, Alicia.”
“Don't thank me yet! I'm not making any guarantees,” said Alicia. She figured she'd try changing inputs first. After a couple button presses, the TV returned to life, scrolling through the end credits of the cartoon they'd been watching when Kirk called. “Aha! There we go.”
“Woohoo!” cheered the little girl, hopping up on the couch next to her. “You're so cool, Alicia!”
Alicia put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “You're sweet.” Thinking about calling Kirk back, she yawned and looked at the clock. “Boy, it's getting late. I think it's about time for bed anyway, don't you?”
“Nooo!” shouted the little girl. “One more episode! The next one's really funny, I really want you to see this one!”
Alicia smiled. “I dunno, Julie...your parents are pretty clear about your bedtime being eight o'clock sharp. I don't want to get in trouble with them...”
“Pleeeease?”
Alicia pretended to think about it really hard. “Well, alright. Just one more episode.”
“Yay!” cheered Julie. Alicia started the next episode. “In that case...since I'm not going to bed quite yet, can I have another glass of soda?!”
“Your parents also don't want you having too much soda,” said Alicia reproachfully.
“I know, I know, but just one more! That's all I want!”
Alicia considered it. “Will it get you all wound up? Your bedtime is still pretty soon, you know.”
“No! I'll be fine!”
After some serious thought, Alicia winked and stood up. “I won't tell if you won't. Just half a glass though, okay?”
“Yay!” shouted Julie, jumping off the couch and running off ahead of her to the kitchen.
Before Alicia made it out of the living room, the phone rang. She glanced in its direction, then backtracked to answer it. “Hello? Miller residence.”
For a moment, there was silence. “Hello?” repeated Alicia.
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Then...the sound of low, heavy breathing. “Hehhh...hehhh...” Hungry, desperate, laviscious.
Alicia smirked. “Really funny, Kirk.” She hung up and left for the kitchen.
The redhead took a glass from the cupboard and a two liter of Dr. Pepper from the fridge. As she poured the soda, Julie watched her closely. “You're so pretty, Alicia! You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen!”
“Aww!” laughed Alicia. “Well thank you!”
“Is high school fun?”
“Yeah! It's awesome!” Alicia promised, keeping the child's hopes for the future bright.
“Do you have a boyfriend?!”
“Oh yeah. And he is FINE.”
“Gross,” said Julie. “Do you kiss?”
“Maybe we do and maybe we don't,” said Alicia coyly. She set the bottle down and screwed the lid on it, then handed the glass to Julie.
The girl took a sip, as they headed back to the living room. “Hey, um...instead of the show we were watching...can we watch...” She swallowed nervously. “Adult Swim?”
Alicia stopped. “Now Julie,” said Alicia reproachfully, “Do your parents let you watch Adult Swim?”
“Yeah, all the time.”
“I doubt that.”
Julie saw she wasn't going to pull one over on her. “C'mon, King of the Hill is the first show. King of the Hill isn't that bad, right?”
Alicia thought about it. “No, King of the Hill isn't that bad...” She sized Julie up. “One King of the Hill episode and then it's off to bed, okay?”
“YAY!” Julie shouted, giving her a hug around the hips. “You're the coolest babysitter ever!”
….........
“Was she difficult?” asked Julie's dad, counting off money into Alicia's hand. They stood on his front steps, a rectangle of light from the open door framing Alicia against the night. He was still wearing his tuxedo from his company dinner.
“Julie?” laughed Alicia. “No, sir! She was a little angel, just like always!”
The dad smiled. “And she went to bed at eight?”
“Of course!” said Alicia. “Those were your instructions, after all! You make the rules in your house, sir, and as I always say, without rules, where would we be?”
“Yeah, I shouldn't have asked. I know how responsible you are.”
Alicia laughed humbly. “I don't know about that, sir. I just try my best to set a positive example for Julie. Following your instructions to the letter, not straying from them in the slightest, any babysitter can do that. I like to show the kids I babysit that not only is being obedient, following the rules, and respecting ones elders important, it can also be a lot of fun!”
The dad gave an approving nod. “Well, it seems to be working on Julie. She says you're the best babysitter she's ever had,” he responded. He handed Alicia an extra twenty as a tip. “Thanks Alicia. I mean it. Anytime we need a babysitter, you still have right of first refusal.”
…...........
“Hmm...” said Alicia, looking at herself, and the yellow tank top she had on, in the department store mirror. She turned and looked at herself from behind. “What do you think? This one, or the army green one with the spaghetti straps?”
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Caitlin was flexing her fingers in a pair of gloves, trying to decide if she wanted them or not. “I don't know why you're shopping for summer stuff when fall is here.”
“I can wear it all next year!” Alicia explained happily. “What do you think, Chase?”
Chase was looking at herself in a pair of boots. She had been doing test kicks and test curb stomps in them to make sure they felt right, before the others asked her to stop. “Like both, Leash!”
Alicia smiled. “Then both I shall get!”
“Wow, you're on a roll today,” said Lindsey. “Does babysitting really pay that good? Maybe I should get in on that racket.”
“There's a scary thought,” said Caitlin.
“Me too!” said Chase eagerly. Her stomach rumbled just thinking about it.
Caitlin looked at her, then decided, “Nope, Lindsey's still scarier.”
“Aw, I bet Lindsey and Chase would be good babysitters,” said Alicia. “Anybody can do it once. The hard part is getting return business. That's where you start making money.”
“How do you do that?” asked Lindsey.
Alicia held the green top with the spaghetti straps up to herself and considered her reflection thoughtfully. “The trick is letting the kids get away with enough stuff to seem like the 'cool' babysitter, and doing it without the parents finding out. Once you get that part down, you're golden.”
“Seriously?” asked Caitlin, annoyed. “You just ignore the parents wishes?”
Alicia looked offended. “No way, I don't ignore them...I always take them into consideration.”
“How considerate.”
“Besides, if you follow all the rules, the next time the parents try to hire you they'll get a tantrum. 'No! Alicia's mean! She made me go to bed on time! I don't need a babysitter! I hate her!' Even though the parents are the one hiring you, in the end keeping the kids happy is what matters, since the kids' opinion of you is all that the parents have to go on.”
“I see where you're going with this,” said Lindsey with a nod. “In the end, the only thing parents really want is for their kids to shut up, so if they don't hear a peep out of their kids except 'Yay! Alicia's coming over!' then that's return business, every single time, no question. Makes perfect sense to me.”
Alicia hesitated. “I wouldn't put it quite like that.” She looked back at herself, and the green top. “On second though, I think this one's a little too low cut.”
“Yeah, it's perfect,” agreed Lindsey.
Alicia looked at her and laughed. “You think I should get it?”
“Sure, be daring. You earned it with your mad babysitter skills.”
A jacket caught Chase's eye. As she walked over and took it off the rack, she spotted somebody she recognized. Maxine, the scary kid, was looking at her fishnet-stocking-clad legs in a full-length mirror.
“Ooh, I like these,” she was saying to herself.
Fellow scary kid Flor was sitting cross-legged on a changing bench, watching her while eating a mall snow cone. “Me too. You look hot.”
“Really?” asked Maxine. “Be honest. I want your opinion.” It wasn't because of Flor's impeccable fashion sense, either.
“I don't joke about things like that,” replied Flor. “You doin' anything later?”
Maxine leaned down and began tracing her pointer finger across the netting in small circles. “I'll put a rip here...hmm, and here. No, here.”
“It Max!” shouted Chase happily. “Hi, Max! And Flor too!”
Maxine looked up. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Chase. “Oh...you.” Then, she noticed Alicia, Caitlin and Lindsey. Sarcastically, she added, “And wouldn't you know it, the whole gang!”
“Oh, great. Scary kids,” said Lindsey.
“Let's just go,” suggested Caitlin, taking the gloves off. “I don't feel like getting in a big argument.”
Alicia remembered the admission Maxine made to her, and felt a twinge of sympathy. “Come on, guys. The scary kids aren't that bad. Maxine helped save Chase's life at Harvest, remember?” She waved at the two girls and walked over, singing cheerfully, “Hi, Flor! Hiii, Maxiiine!”
“Ugh,” Maxine answered, annoyed. “Hi.”
“Doing some shopping, huh?” asked Alicia.
“Nah. I'm working on my screenplay,” answered Maxine.
“Oh, really? That's super interesting, Maxine! You should let me read it when you're done!” said Alicia. She paused, and realized how stupid she looked. “Oh. G-good one!”
“Max! Max!” shouted Chase, needing Maxine to pay attention to her. “MAX!”
“What?” asked Maxine, her annoyance rising further.
“Was kiss Tor and make out much while watch film, then saw girl in film look like you!” Chase declared.
Maxine resisted the urge to give her neck a squeeze. “Thanks for sharing.”
Flor laughed. Feeling like Maxine needed to be teased, she asked Chase, “Do you and Torey make out a lot when Maxine isn't around?”
“Yes!”
“Does he tell you he loves you?” asked Flor, giving her cone a lick. Maxine pushed Flor's hand, causing the snow to smush against her face. Flor giggled.
Caitlin and Lindsey reluctantly joined them. “So, new fishnets, huh?” asked Lindsey. “What's wrong with the old ones?”
Maxine rolled her eyes. “Nothing.” She smiled. “I just got a nice tip from babysitting and thought I'd treat myself.”
Alicia gasped. “Maxine, you babysit?! So do I!”
“Really?” asked Maxine with a frown. She and Alicia had something in common? It was like a waking nightmare.
“Yeah!” said Alicia. “Wanna trade secrets?”
“Not particularly,” replied Maxine. “I don't really even have any to trade, I'm kind of new at it. Last night was the first time I ever baby sat.”
Alicia was very surprised, then intrigued. Maxine's first time babysitting, and she already got a shopping-spree-worthy tip? Now she really wondered what kind of secrets Maxine had. “Oh, I see! Well, if you need any advice, you're welcome to ask me! I'm quite seasoned at it!”
“I don't think I'll need it,” said Maxine kindly. “Come on, Flor. I think I'm ready to check out.”
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