“Kind of, I guess,” said Lindsey. “There are moves you do, kind of like cheerleading. But you don't wear a uniform and you're usually not working together with a big squad.”

“Not squad? Dance with self?”

“Well, you can, I guess,” said Caitlin. “But most of the people at Harvest will be dancing with someone else. In your case, probably a guy.”

“Oh,” said Chase. It was one of THOSE kinds of things.

“A guy asks you to go to the Harvest Dance with him, you say yes, and then you both get dressed up really nice and he picks you up in a limo and takes you to the gym, where you dance the night away and sneak in a flask,” explained Lindsey. She turned to Alicia, a mischievous smile spreading across her face. “Speaking of which...Alicia, did Kirk Steller ask you yet?”

Alicia almost fell again. “Wh-what?!”

Caitlin's half of the banner was secure, so she handed Alicia the hammer and remaining nails. She looked down at Lindsey. “Finally. I thought you'd never ask.”

“You could have asked her yourself,” Lindsey pointed out.

“I respect her privacy too much for that,” replied Caitlin. “Alicia, answer the question.”

Alicia turned red. She suddenly became very focused on the banner, fitting a nail into one of its brass-reinforced corner holes, and giving it a whack. “He...he hasn't.”

Lindsey was shocked. “Whaaat? What the heck is he waiting for?”

“Well, it's not like we're technically a couple. Or like he technically knows I like him.”

“Why Leash not ask Kirk for Harv?” suggested Chase.

Caitlin shook her head. “It doesn't work that way. The guy is supposed to ask the girl, that's just how it is.”

“Doesn't matter if he doesn't know you like him. He should ask you anyway,” dismissed Lindsey. “You're the head cheerleader, he's the star quarterback. This is basic, basic stuff. If he wants to lock down Lord and Lady of the Harvest, he seriously needs to consider you as a running mate.”

Alicia's ears perked up, and for the briefest of instants, she forgot how embarrassed she was. Lady of the Harvest had been her dream since she was just a kid. “You really think we could get it? What about Pat and Donna?”

Lindsey chuckled. “Pat and Donna? They're cute together, sure. But second baseman and student council treasurer? I'm sorry, that isn't a power couple. That isn't Lord and Lady of the Harvest.”

Caitlin rolled her eyes and started descending her ladder. “Well, hopefully, if Kirk asks her, it's for a reason other than wanting to win Lord of the Harvest,” she said curtly.

“What Lord Harv?” asked Chase.

“It's basically the same thing as prom king and queen,” answered Lindsey. “The people at the dance vote for the couple they think is the dreamiest. It's a huge deal. They get a whole PAGE in the yearbook!” She said this as though a page in the yearbook was the equivalent of the cover of Time magazine.

“Oh!” said Chase. She looked up at Alicia with enthusiasm. “Chase vote Leash and Kirk Kirk! Them most dream! Most dream!”

“What about you, Caitlin?” deflected Alicia, desperate to change the subject. “Do you have a date?”

Caitlin stepped onto the linoleum floor. “Yeah,” she said, collapsing the ladder. “Marcus asked me.”

With an 'oooh' and a nod, Alicia and Lindsey voiced their respective approvals. Marcus was a wide receiver and, in the eyes of the public, a good-looking boy.

“Marcus is perfect for you, Cait. Totally your type,” praised Lindsey. Offhand, she added, “Great in the sack, too.”

This little tidbit of exclusive insider information did not have the encouraging effect Lindsey probably intended. “Wow, thanks,” said Caitlin, annoyed.

After her initial excitement for Caitlin wore off, Alicia started to feel the crunch. The fact that she wasn't the only one who didn't have a date yet had been sort of comforting before. It told her she still had plenty of time. Now, hearing that Caitlin had one, she felt rushed. “I guess you already have your date too, Lindsey?” she asked worriedly.

Lindsey hesitated. “Well a few guys have asked me...but it's tough. I'm having a hard time deciding, you know?”

“Oh. Well, I'm sure there's no hurr-”

“...so I said yes to all of them. I'll narrow them down later.”

They stared at her. “You can't be serious,” said Alicia.

With a nod, Lindsey answered, “Yeah, I think it's kind of a waste to narrow them down, too. I was thinking about just bringing them all. But I figure it's for the best. I'm not gonna get Lady of the Harvest if I have more than one Lord.”

“This is going to end well,” Caitlin predicted.

Their conversation was hijacked by the sound of a clearing throat. They turned, then looked down at a blonde girl who had her fists placed sternly on her hips.

“And just WHAT are you four up to?” she demanded. “Honestly, I can't let you troublemakers out of my sight for more than five minutes.”

Alicia just smiled in response. “Oh, hi, Victoria!” she beamed. “We're just hanging a banner for the Harvest Dance! We'd ask you to help, but,” she gave her last nail one final whack, “it looks like we're done!”

Victoria was a girl with an exceptionally beautiful face. No doubt when she was born, the rest of her body saw this and came to the conclusion that it wouldn't have to work as hard. She was all around underdeveloped, very skinny and at least a head shorter than the girls she was addressing. You wouldn't know to look at her that she was a senior, or even a high schooler at all, really. At the very least, as the assistant captain of Sunnycrest's cheerleading squad, this made her easily throwable.

“You? Hanging a banner?” she asked, mortified, stomping over to it. “That is STUDENT COUNCIL work. Cheerleaders do not dirty their hands with such menial tasks.” She reached up, possibly to tear it down, but found she couldn't reach it. She tried to grab the ladder Caitlin was holding, but Caitlin promptly lifted it over her head, and Victoria couldn't reach that either.

“Chase give Vic boost!” said Chase helpfully, stooping down and lacing her fingers together.

Victoria glared at her, then turned up her nose. “Not likely. Don't think I've forgotten what happened last time we tried that. You're a bloodthirsty murderer, Chase Campbell. I won't rest until you're off my squad.”

Victoria might have thought she was lying about that whole bloodthirsty murderer thing, but the others knew she wasn't, so Alicia steered the conversation back towards the banner. “The Student Council needed volunteers, so we offered to help!” she continued. “It's okay, we didn't mind! It was fun!”

“We outlined every letter with glitter paint.” Lindsey gestured at the banner. “To really make it pop!”

“You could do the whole thing in glitter paint and I wouldn't care!” replied Victoria.

Alicia rubbed her chin and looked at the banner. “You know...we COULD have!”

A tangible sense of regret began to set in as a boy walked over. “E...Excuse me?” he asked Victoria.

He was short for a guy, still taller than Victoria, but not by much, and his bad posture wasn't helping things. He was pale and skinny, with a bowl cut, glasses and bad acne. His attire incorporated corduroy pants and a sweater vest. By the time they got to the bow tie, his look was way too much. There was no question, this guy was a dork. Victoria took one look at him, then averted her gaze, unwilling to subject her delicate eyes to any more torture. Her disgusted expression said it all: Why was this thing talking to her?

Sensing danger, Alicia tried to draw the boy's attention to her. “Hi, there!” she interceded. “Can we help you? Do you have a question about the dance?”

“That I do,” he said in an important voice, not taking his eyes off Victoria. He dropped to one knee, and everyone recoiled in surprise. “Victoria, my dear...you don't know me, but I know you. Very well, in fact. My name is Lawrence, President of the Sunnycrest High Engineering Club. I have watched you from afar all these years, never able to summon the courage necessary to act on my feelings, until now. You are the most beautiful thing in my world, a shining star that has unknowingly guided my heart through the tumultuous seas of adolescence. I ask of thee...will you go with me to Harvest?”

Victoria was stunned into silence for a moment, and the others felt goosebumps rise on their skin. There was no time to stop what was coming. All they could do was prepare themselves. Alicia turned away. Caitlin covered her ears. Lindsey took out her phone and started getting some video.

Then, the little blonde laughed. “How amusing. Lawrence, was it? Lawrence, you have a sharp sense of humor. Or, at least, I hope you do. It pains me to think you could have asked me that question in earnest. I, the gorgeous Victoria C. H. Bassett, a cheerleader, being seen at Harvest with a nerd such as you? What a ludicrous notion. The more I think about it, the funnier it gets.”

Her voice lost its mirth, but she kept her smile. “But in case, either by optimism bordering on delusion or simply an unfortunate manifestation of poor judgment, you were being serious...my answer is no. Never. Not in a million years. Either way, though, I'm losing interest in this conversation, so unless you have another joke to tell me, please go do some math or something and let the cool people talk.”

Lawrence was devastated. “What the hell, Victoria?” admonished Caitlin.

“That was terrible. Think of poor Lawrence's feelings,” agreed Lindsey.

Victoria looked defensive. “Hey, what did you expect? You want me to say yes?” she argued. “I'm way out of this loser's league!”

“Well, yeah, but you don't SAY that!” replied Alicia, horrified. She descended the ladder, then faced them and opened her arms, her voice softening. “Remember, Victoria, we're cheerleaders. Our job is to bring the students of this school together. To unite them behind the Sunnycrest name as an indomitable wall of school spirit! That means every student, from the jocks all the way down to the nerds. The way you just conducted yourself was unnecessarily cruel. Acting in a manner that would hurt the feelings of a fellow student or make them feel unwanted by the student body at large...that goes against all we stand for!”

The little blonde frowned at this. Lawrence looked at Alicia with renewed hope. “Oh! Then maybe YOU want to go to Harvest with me!” he said, clueless.

Alicia smiled. “Oh, good! Here we go. Pay attention, Victoria. This is a chance for me to show you how to reject a guy with consideration for their feelings.” She walked over to Lawrence and took his right hand in both of her own.

“Hello, Lawrence,” she said in a sweet, kind voice, making eye contact. “First of all, let me just say I'm very flattered. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to ask me to attend the Harvest Dance with you. I know that you have many options of girls to choose from, and I value your interest. However, I regret to inform you, no.” She let go and walked away.

“That was almost worse,” replied Caitlin.

Lawrence gave Lindsey a desperate look. “Then maybe you! Do you have a date yet?”

“Sorry, dude. Fourteen's my limit.”

“Please tell me I heard that wrong,” said Victoria.

“You didn't,” confirmed Caitlin.

He tried Chase next. “Th-th-then maybe you?”

Chase quickly made an excuse. “Um, Chase not dance. Hurt arm.” All she knew about dancing was Alicia's shopping cart while trying not to fall off a ladder, so she figured a busted arm was enough.

“You can still dance if your arm's hurt,” Lawrence told her.

“Not way I do,” she answered.

There was only one left. Lawrence looked at Caitlin. She routed his question with the classic: “Sorry, I'm already going with somebody.” He frowned sadly at her. “No, really!”

“I see how it is,” he replied, addressing them all. “You think you're too good for me. You think just because I'm a 'nerd' I don't have feelings!” He pointed wildly at them. “Well, I'll show you! You'll be sorry! Mark my words, you'll ALL be sorry!” He turned and ran away, crying into his arm.

“I'm already sorry,” said Alicia honestly.

“Yeah, that was brutal,” agreed Victoria.

“I actually said I was sorry before I gave my excuse,” Caitlin recalled. “I wonder if he was including me in that.”

“Hard to say,” considered Lindsey. “I did, too, for the record.”