《Ravyn's Nights - Book 3》Chapter 73
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That evening was more than a little strange, and stressful for Claire, and she imagined for Eliot too, though he hid it well. After all, he was simply continuing to uphold the lies he had been telling his family all his life. She however, was trying to pretend to not only be a different person, but also upholding the same Masquerade she always had to uphold, and she was doing it for complete strangers, who just happened to be the emperor and empress of France at that.
After nearly exhausting her long buried acting skills, they were luckily only strengthened by that magnetism that made mortals want to believe her every word and be swayed by her charm. But she still could not relax much even after Eliot’s royal father and stepmother seemed to believe the story about their whirlwind elopement, before retiring to their chambers for the evening. After all, now she had to continue their ruse as servants showed them to their own chambers for the night.
When the servants finally left them alone together in the huge bedroom, Claire had to look up at Eliot with desperation, “so how long are we expected to stay here, exactly?”
“You don’t like my father’s palace?” Eliot responded with continued bitterness directed at his family, as he dropped himself to the mattress of the huge bed with what appeared to be a bit of his own emotional exhaustion after their full evening of play-acting.
“It’s beyond beautiful, which I’m sure you know, but it doesn’t change how difficult this is going to be” she told him furtively, only allowing a few steps closer to the bed he now lounged upon.
“Whatsoever do you mean, love?” he stated as he forced a smile through his own distaste for staying under his father’s roof as well, elegant as that roof may have been.
“We are alone now, aren’t we?” Claire stated as she scanned the large room and those surrounding it with that special vision of hers.
“Supposedly” Eliot scoffed as he reached for a bowl of grapes left on the bedside stand.
“Supposedly?” she repeated, though her vision did confirm the truth of their current privacy. Not that it helped her to relax much anyway.
“My father’s never trusted me much. I’m sure he’s had spies watching me for my entire life. Hence his urgency to marry me off as soon as I came of age” he replied with a sigh before distracting himself with a grape and offering the bowl to her as she silently declined with a shake of her head, continuing to watch for any signs of life through those thick stone walls surrounding the elegant room she and her ‘husband’ were given for the night.
“So how old are you, exactly?” she had to ask, just barely catching his mention of coming of age as she watched the walls with further vigilance.
“An excellent question for your new husband. Though it probably should have been asked before the wedding, in all honesty” he couldn’t help another smirk as he popped another grape into his mouth.
She sighed as she stiffly made her way over to take a seat at the very edge of the bed. “I guess it slipped my mind before our wedding” she returned with obvious sarcasm.
“Nineteen my love” he smiled as he answered the question for her nonetheless. She simply shook her head at his answer and looked away once more, “and I’ve been told never to ask a lady her age, but considering you are now my wife, as far as anyone is concerned...” he smirked slightly.
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“My last birthday was my thirtieth” she forced herself to give him an answer, telling herself it wasn’t a complete lie. After all, thirty had been the age she had been at the time of her death.
“Oh dear. You’re a cradle robber” he smiled again.
Claire just shook her head once more, “you seem to be enjoying this... marriage” she settled on, “way more than I expected you would.”
“It’s amazing how finally becoming so ‘happily married’ could feel so freeing, isn’t it?” Eliot allowed another smile.
It was obvious that his belief that he had finally found a way to stop his father from constantly trying to marry him off did indeed give him a peace that was blissfully new to him. Never mind how little peace Claire was getting from the entire arrangement.
Seeing that his attempts at humor were not supplanting Claire’s own discomfort, he did opt to finally allow one more serious comment, “but we probably shouldn’t mention your age if it can be avoided. You do luckily look much younger, but if they knew that you were over ten years my senior, they might expect babies even sooner than they already will” he warned as he shook his head at the thought.
“Please don’t tell me you expect us to pretend we’re having a child too?” she told him with a worried look back at him.
“That may be a little difficult to pull off. They might eventually want to meet said child, and I have no desire to add actual child abduction to my list of supposed crimes” he agreed with another attempt at a smile.
“Pretending to be having children with me, would be even more difficult than you think,” Claire mumbled, more to herself.
“Pardon?” he asked, not quite sure he had caught her words fully.
Claire sighed as she scanned the surrounding rooms with that special vision of hers again, “not that it matters if we’re truly only carrying on this act for a few more days, but I can’t have children” she stated, though quietly.
Eliot then pushed himself into sitting up straighter, “are you positive of that?”
“Extremely so” Claire confirmed, not able to help giving him a curious look as to why he even would care about her ability to give him the heirs he seemed to have no desire to even try to conceive with any woman at all, let alone one that was only meant to pretend to be his wife for a few more days.
“That does.... seem interesting” he stated as he looked her over once more, as though trying to actually physically see whatever defect had deadened her womb. Of course, he was still unaware that it had died along with the rest of her body all the way back in 1598.
“How is that interesting? Especially to you?” she couldn’t help asking.
Eliot looked toward the door as well before making himself give her an answer, furtive though it was, “having children is one of the main reasons I... avoided romantic involvements with any women at all” he stated softly.
Hearing that claim, she couldn’t help her mind immediately flying back to Sebastian’s fear of passing on his own genes. Though Sebastian had a much deadlier reason for not wanting children, than simply Eliot’s seeming reason of just not being interested in women, as Sebastian obviously had been.
“I thought the reason you were so opposed to being involved with a woman was because... you didn’t have any desire to be” she settled on.
Eliot looked down only a moment before attempting a response which involved finally openly speaking about his own preferences after having spent his entire life hiding them from nearly everyone around him. “I never let myself be interested. I never wanted to father another Bonaparte bastard” he stated simply, and sadly.
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“I’m a bit confused here, Eliot. Considering we are quite alone, I’ve gotta ask...” she then reworded her original thought, “I was under the impression that you just simply weren’t attracted to women. Was I wrong?” Claire asked, letting herself move her eyes over him as well then.
Eliot swallowed again after tossing one more glance at the chamber door, “I’ve always found women quite beautiful, but I just refused to let myself even consider...” instead of finishing, he just shook his head once more. “Then after years of training my desires to only focus on... others, it just became second nature” he allowed a small glimpse into the way his mind and desires did work. Though that glimpse did only serve to further confuse Claire as to what his preferences truly were, now.
Considering she was to spend the next few nights sharing chambers with him, Claire had to press just a bit more, “so, are you or aren’t you physically attracted to females? In that way” she had to add.
Eliot sighed once more. Another look toward the door, “I honestly don’t know anymore. I never let myself close enough to one to find out” he confessed. “And I was fine with that. It’s my family who made it impossible. But it’s also my family that made me keep women at a distance all my life too. So if I’m truly not in possession of any desire for the fairer sex, then we know who to blame I suppose” he shook his head at that before adding, “So I don’t honestly know the answer. Nor did I ever try to find out” he made a wry attempt at another smile to hide his own nervousness about discussing such a subject at all, probably for the first time in his life.
“But it’s not that you don’t feel desire at all, is it? I mean you feel it for men, right?” Claire had to ask, her interest now piqued, as she was so used to men and women both desiring her, due greatly to what she was, that he was truly an enigma.
Eliot actually blushed at that question, something she had never seen him do during the hours they had spent together that evening. “You are the first person who’s ever wanted to know that answer, let alone ask for it” he smiled as he cast those deep brown eyes downwards once more.
“Well, I am your wife, at least for a few more days. I should know these things, shouldn’t I?” she smiled back at him, obviously quite curious after all.
“You know that that works the other way as well.”
“Pardon?” she repeated his earlier question.
“If I tell you about all of my deep dark secrets, you’ll have to tell me yours as well. I am your husband after all. At least for a few more days” he smiled back at her.
“We are just talking about my sexual encounters, right?” Claire smiled back as she moved to slide back against the head board next to him.
“Just?” he couldn’t help smirking at that word as he let himself lean back again as well, his eyes continuing to smile over at her. “I thought that was another thing you were never supposed to ask a lady about? Her past lovers” he added.
“Even here in France? The home of tongue-kissing and ménage à trois?” she smirked up at him.
“Is that really all Americans think we are?” he couldn’t help a small chuckle.
“I don’t know, we are pretty occupied by witch trials, wars, and gun fights in saloons” she teased back, despite how badly some of those very things had indeed affected the lives of some of the people she cared most about.
“Touché” Eliot smiled back again.
“So?” Claire prodded after another moment.
“What was the question again?” he played innocent.
“You? Men? Sordid love affairs?” she reminded him with another smirk.
Eliot shook his head, with another slight blush. “Maybe you should start with all those confessions of secret passion of your own first. I’m doubting your love life is nearly as sordid as most would find mine. Even if you are eleven years older than me” he had to tease.
“Oh my dear boy. You really don’t know me all that well at all” she teased right back with her own small chuckle.
Eliot gave her yet another even wider grin then, “but now I am even more eager to get to know you after all” he assured her, “so, do start spilling those secrets. I’m quite curious myself now.”
Claire looked down as if to blush herself, even though she could not, “so how curious are you exactly?” she asked, as she couldn’t help her eyes moving down over his body pointedly.
“I don’t know about that yet” he teased, “I haven’t even heard your first confession, after all.”
Claire shook her head with another smile, “I honestly don’t even know where to begin” she stalled. It wasn’t that she ever had a problem being open about her own rather liberal sexual past, it was more a question of how to even explain how a supposed thirty year old woman could have nearly three centuries of sexual history. Therein lay the actual problem with her trying to decide what she even could tell him. Though she did want to tell him, for no other reason than letting him know that she did truly understand whatever desires he had inside, and that she would never be a person that judged him for any of them.
“Oh, so you want me to actually pull those secrets out of you? I see” Eliot chuckled again. “I guess the obvious and easiest one, how many lovers have you actually even had anyway?” he dared to ask.
Claire had a feeling that that question was coming, and honestly had to think for a moment, which only caused him to raise a brow curiously as she didn’t have the answer on the tip of her tongue, as he had assumed she would have.
“I guess the number is now....” she thought another moment, “I guess, ten maybe? I think?” she asked the question more to herself. “That does seem rather low.”
“Low?” he repeated, a little caught by her answer and then even more so by that remark.
“Well, one of them I’ve been with so many times, maybe it just seems like I had more lovers than I thought I did” she couldn’t help a small smile at memories of her first and most meaningful lover out of all of them.
“Ten?” he repeated if for no reason than clarification.
“I think” she shook her head, then had to determine if she was remembering correctly. “There was Sean, of course, then Chantarell, Ash, Aidan, James, Daniel, Anastasia, Finn, Nicolas, Kristofer” she added the last more quietly. “That’s ten, right?”
Eliot couldn’t help blinking a moment as she looked back at him innocently, only to see the surprise written all over his face. Finally, he managed to respond, “was there a Chantarell and an Anastasia in there?”
Claire looked down again with another small smile, “there was” she admitted as she turned her emerald eyes back to his deep brown ones.
“Those are women’s names, aren’t they?” he stammered a bit.
“They are” she smiled again, “do you believe your secrets are safe with me now?”
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