A few weeks later, by mid-March, Thomas finally arrived in Columbus to claim the throne Marcus had informed him he would be given at last. However, when he reached his destination, he was instead greeted with Marcus and his already waiting army of the eldest Kindred allies he had; which were plentiful.

Upon Thomas’ arrival, he was informed that he was guilty of infractions in multiple territories. These included unlawfully embracing a new Kindred without permission in Las Californias, not presenting himself to the Prince of London when he had last visited there, as well as a variety of other laws of the Camarilla he had broken over the past century.

Of course, at the time of his arrival in Columbus and subsequent arrest, Thomas was then surrounded by many of his peers who were not quite as easily malleable to his abilities as Sean and Claire had been. The only shoddy defense he was left with was trying to convince them that he was not subject to the laws of the Camarilla, as he was Toreador Antitribu, and therefore a member of the monstrous Sabbat rather than the peaceful Camarilla. Somehow, in light of him having claimed to be a member of the more peaceful Kindred sect for all this time, that defense did not work in his favor though…

Claire was once again keeping her watchful eyes on Nicolas, not leaving his side; as she had done every night since Thomas embraced him. Upon speaking with their other allies, Sean had come to the conclusion that simply being Thomas’ childe would not automatically mean Nicolas would also become Antitribu; as even those monsters started out as simply Toreador. Of course, due to the shattered psyche Nicolas had already had in his human days, and whatever had truly happened to him at Thomas’ hands even before his death; they still had severe worries that he too could easily become the same sort of monster as either his human or his Kindred victimizer.

Then on this night, Nicolas suddenly startled from where he had been silently sitting on the bed, his knees pulled to his chest, as he had been most nights since his return from death. “What is it?” Claire asked him gently from where she had been seated nearby, trying to keep her mind on the dress she had attempted to busy herself crafting during her nightly vigilance.

"Il est mort," he began as he looked back at Claire at last and shook his head, and forced his words back to English again, “I felt it. How did I feel him… dying?”

Claire tried not to show too much relief in the face of Nicolas’ current confusion, “I know that Sean felt it when Haven died. So, I think it’s true that we can feel it if our sires die” she told him quietly, watching closely for his reaction and cursing the fact that now it was much more difficult for her to read his aura. It was true that he was a fledgling childe, but he was still the same generation as her own sire; and therefore it was that much more difficult for her to use any of her abilities at all with him any longer.

“Sire?”

“The one who made you like me” she offered the quiet explanation.

“That monster? Thomas?” he asked as he choked a bit. Claire simply nodded, “he is dead?”

“If that’s what you felt” Claire returned in the same soft tone.

“Good” was his only response. Though Claire was not sure if that should reassure her, or terrify her in all honesty. There was another long silence then before Nicolas finally spoke up once more, “you say I am like you now?”

“You’re the same thing me and Sean are now; Kindred” she offered, “that’s why you can’t stay awake after the sun comes up, or let it touch you anymore” she added sadly, “and why you have that thirst.”

“The thirst that made me kill them all?” he asked as his voice broke slightly, this having been the most words he’d shared at all in any of the weeks since his embrace.

“That’s because you were in frenzy” she attempted to assure. “You couldn’t control it. But that’s not how you are now. Being that way is something that you’ll probably never experience again.” She then had the ironic thought that this was exactly the conversation she missed having when she had embraced Aidan. Though this time when she found herself staring into the eyes of a former lover who was now so much more powerful than he had been before, it somehow broke her heart.

“Probably?” he asked as he gave her a worried glance.

“I’ve never felt that way since the night I was made. And that was 223 years ago. So it’s very unlikely that you’ll ever be out of control like that again either” she attempted to assure. She then had to add, “you just have to make sure you drink every night, so you don’t get that hungry again.”

“Drink? The glasses you bring me each night? The blood” he added more quietly.

“Yes, but you don’t have to just drink from those glasses. I could teach you how to drink from the other servants...” upon seeing the fear in his eyes, Claire quickly added, “and I can teach you how to do it without hurting them; like the ones that got hurt when you first came back” she added as she pushed aside the pattern and moved to take a few slow steps toward the bed.

“You used to let me drink from you” he stated after another long moment.

“That was only so you’d be strong enough to guard us during the day. You’re much stronger now. And now you sleep during the day; just like us” she added with an attempt at a comforting smile.

“So who guards you now?” he asked her as he looked up at her with worry.

“Well, now I need a new servant” Claire admitted softly as she looked away for a moment before continuing, “but I’ve been a little busy trying to make sure you’re ok now.”

“I’m not ok if you’re not safe” he returned, which did cause a slightly startled smile to touch her lips.

“You don’t have to say things like that anymore. You’re not bound to me now” she added with a slightly sad whisper. For all the guilt she felt over binding him to her in the first place, she had grown accustomed to his love for her; and she had somehow convinced herself that just maybe her blood had given him some emotional strength as well as physical. Or at least telling herself that made her feel the slightest bit less guilty for binding him as well as making him her lover.

“Bound?” he repeated questioningly.

Claire sighed with another guilty look downward as she warily moved to sit at the edge of the bed, thankful he didn’t startle away from her. “If you drink the blood of one of our kind on three separate occasions, it makes you believe you love the one whose blood you drank” she sighed softly, and then added, “but after you died, and came back; you no longer had any of my blood in you, and it broke that bond you had to me.”

“Bond is love?” he asked. Claire simply nodded with the same guilty expression. “No bond means no love?”

“The bond just makes you think you love the person you’re bound to. Once it’s over; so is the love you thought you felt” Claire assured again in a shakier voice.

Nicolas watched her for another long moment before he spoke again, “you are wrong. No bond… still love. You fixed me. Always love you for that” he told her as a tiny red tear slipped from those pools of brown. Claire couldn’t help stifling her own joyful sob as she moved to take him into her arms, finally feeling some hope that just maybe he could survive eternity without becoming a monster, after all.

When Sean returned to their chambers before dawn, he was somewhat surprised to see Claire there waiting atop the bed. Ever since Thomas’ departure, she had been staying with Nicolas until dawn, just to monitor his mental state and make sure he at least was drinking enough blood to keep him stable.

“No Nicolas duty ‘til dawn tonight?” Sean asked warily as he moved to slowly begin unbuttoning his shirt.

Claire smiled faintly back at him, “Thomas is dead. And Nicolas told me he loved me. Even without the bond to me anymore” she informed, her smile becoming more apparent despite Sean appearing a little shaken by at least part of her statements, “so maybe we finally get one good night, where everything is actually ok” Claire finished hopefully.

“Everything?” Sean returned, but his words were a mumble as he removed the shirt and dropped it to the sofa.

“So, what’s not ok now?” Claire asked warily as he slid into the sheet next to her.

“If you think everything’s ok… then that’s a good thing” Sean stated with a somewhat sad shrug as he rolled to his side, facing away from her and bunching the pillow under his head.

“What’s not ok, Sean?” she repeated more firmly.

Sean simply shook his head, “it’s almost morning, Claire.”

“Sean, please” she pressed as she moved her hand to his shoulder, squeezing it slightly to urge him to open up to her as she had no such ability to pull his inner thoughts from his head, or Nicolas’ anymore, for that matter.

“Nicolas was your responsibility. If he’s ok, then just let yourself feel ok. You’ve felt much worse for much too long as it is” he stated simply as he closed his eyes and pulled the pillow closer.

“This is new, Sean” she told him with a slightly scolding tone.

“What’s new?” he managed, though barely audibly.

“You refusing to tell me what’s wrong” she stated simply.

Sean just sighed, “like I said; you’ve felt horrible for far too long. Let yourself not feel horrible for once. Let me just deal with a problem on my own. It’s my job, after all” he added with a bit of bitterness as he still held his eyes tightly shut, not turning back to her.

“What problem?” Claire pressed impatiently.

“Answering that defeats the purpose of me telling you to let it be just my problem” he reiterated with another shake of his head.

“It’s really gotten to this point now?” Claire asked, voice faltering.

“Not sure what it you’re talking about, Claire” Sean sighed again.

“We’ve somehow drifted so far apart that you won’t even tell me what’s bothering you?” Claire asked, pained by her own words.

“I’m just trying to save you some tiny bit of grief and hardship for once. Why is that such a terrible thing for me to want?” Sean returned as he finally opened his eyes and pushed a lock of hair from his face, though remained turned away from her.

“Being soul mates means there is no me and you; your problems are my problems, Sean. That’s the way it’s always been” she told him softly.

“Which means being soul mates means you have to deal with twice as many problems? Why would you ever want to be that then?” he scoffed with another shake of his head.

“It means dealing with them together” she argued.

“It’s not your problem Claire. It’s mine. I’m the one who did it. I’m the one who has to deal with it. Can’t we just leave it at that?” Sean pleaded as he tightly shut his eyes again.

Claire sighed again as she looked back down at him sadly, “you’re talking about what Kristofer probably did, aren’t you?”

Sean just scoffed, “and if you honestly think it’s strange that I’m still agonizing over that… then I can’t imagine how horrible you must think I’ve honestly become if you’re surprised that it’s actually killing me” Sean finished as he bit back his emotions.

“That’s not… That isn’t… I know…” Claire couldn’t find any words then to even try and convince him that that was not the case.

“Just because I didn’t do it with my own hands… or fangs… whatever… that doesn’t mean I didn’t kill her. And I know she would have murdered you and me and all of us without a second thought; but that doesn’t change the fact that I forced a mortal man to kill his own wife. I turned him into a murderer… and that’s just…” Sean’s voice trailed off as he had to bite back his feelings once again, “and if you don’t understand that that is what I’m agonizing over… then you must already think I’m the monster that I feel like I am now” he finished as one of those tears did finally break free, “and if you think I’m a monster…” his voice trailed off again, not able to finish that sentence.

“Sean I…”

“You thought it the moment you found out I compelled him… and now it really is true” Sean whispered.

“I did kill people with my own hands, Sean. If you’re a monster…”

“I forced him… a doctor even… to take the life of his own wife, and possibly even his own children if he ever has any… you can’t look at me and say it’s the same, Claire… ‘cause it’s not” he sniffled again.

Claire let out another sigh of despair, “I guess we should just admit, right now, that we’re both monsters, then.”

“Admitting it and living with it are two different things though” Sean then finally moved to his back, though kept his eyes on the ceiling rather than moving them to Claire’s sad face, “all this time, you’ve been living with all this guilt. And all this time, I kept telling you not to feel it, not to blame yourself. And I had no clue what I was talking about. I had no clue how much you hated yourself. I definitely understand how you’ve felt all this time now though. And I honestly don’t know how you’ve ever found a way to live with this kind of pain and still be… and still be you… I don’t understand how you’ve been able to go on for over two hundred years and stay the girl you’ve always been. How do you do that, Claire? Tell me, because I desperately need to know how to ever try to go on and still be me at all, right now.”