《The Beast and The Swallow》48. A painful truth

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“You have been asleep for about a day, my lady. The physician said that you’ll need at the very least a week and a half to fully recuperate.”

Lorelei sat in her bed supported by a mountain of pillows and listened to the report of sir Lucas. Fresh air, accompanied by the golden rays of the afternoon sun streamed through the open window and invigorated her, clearing the drowsiness from her head little by little. After having a good sleep, she felt alive again. Indeed, her entire body was still sore and aching, but this was the familiar pain of torn muscles and beaten bones and not the supernatural hell she had gone through only hours prior. Honestly, Lorelei had never thought that it would make her happy to feel like a tossed-around rag, but there was a first time for everything. Maybe she had to thank the Ortens since in their care her body had become quite resilient.

A wry smile crept on her lips as she remembered her family. It was unbelievable that she had been away from that wretched place for only two months. It felt like an entire lifetime. Yet strangely, after the recent events, her years in Sefis seemed almost like a sheltered childhood. Before, she could hardly imagine greater monsters than her father and Ronan. But now, when her eyes closed, Lorelei could smell the choking scent of sandalwood, opium, and walnuts; could sometimes see a terrifying silver mask in the candlelight, or the white figure of a child with empty black eye sockets. By the mere thought of them, shivers ran down her spine.

“My lady, are you feeling unwell again?”

Lucas’s worried voice startled her. Lorelei realized that she had been clenching her bedsheets and staring into emptiness for some time now. She blushed and cleared her throat.

“I am fine, sir Lucas, I was just lost in thought for a second. Pray tell, is his highness in good health? Is there news on sir Gregor, Rish, and Rasha?”

“Be at ease, my lady. His highness is perfectly fine. As for the twins, they are being tended for but as far as I have heard the healers are having a hard time keeping them in bed.”

Lorelei’s lips jumped up at the thought of how energetic the girls seemed to be. But almost immediately her expression turned somber.

“And sir Gregor?”

“He still hasn’t awakened,” replied the knight and added quickly after seeing the distraught face of his mistress, “but you shouldn’t worry about him, my lady. Gregor is as tough as nails. He will be fine after some rest. It is normal for shamans to sleep a lot after performing big hexes to replenish their strength.”

“I am relieved to hear that,” nodded Lorelei while attempting to sound sincere.

Yet, in her mind, the words of kush-turgan Yanosh rang again: ‘If we use up all of our soul, we die. And it is a permanent death, one where our soul can’t reach the Spirit Plane.’ Was Gregor going to be fine? Yanosh had promised that there would be no consequences from the possession, but how reliable could a ghost’s word be in this case? If something happened to him because of her...

A polite knock on the door saved Lorelei from these dark thoughts. At her beckoning, a maid entered, carrying a tray with a steaming cup. She greeted respectfully and gave Lorelei the drink, which turned out to be warm honey milk.

“The duke ordered us to bring you something nourishing the moment you wake up, my lady.” The maid smiled and curtsied. “And he especially insisted on the honey milk. Is the temperature to your liking, my lady? Is there anything else that you need?”

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“Y-yes…no! The lord has been very thoughtful.”

Lorelei was taken aback and felt her cheeks blushing. Her fingers closed around the cup, savoring its gentle warmth. She didn’t know how to react. There was no need for Noah to go that far as to make special requests for a snack. Everything was alright now, her life was no longer in danger, so such signs of consideration were an unnecessary profusion. Was the milk really his personal request? Now that she thought about it, after every big ordeal she had been through in the past two months, there was a cup of warm honey milk waiting for her at the end. Once or twice could have been a coincidence, but even now? No, she probably read too much into it. Still, what if he really was… concerned for her?

Out of nowhere, Lorelei remembered how tight and warm Noah's embrace had been as he carried her out of that tunnel. Her hands jolted and she nearly dropped the cup. Her cheeks became redder and even the tips of her ears felt tingly. As her thoughts were spinning in circles, the young woman’s heart was almost going to jump out of her chest. The smiling gazes of sir Lucas and the maid flustered her even more. She wasn’t used to getting so much attention and had to fight the urge to bury her face between the pillows. Deep down, Lorelei knew that she was behaving oddly, but couldn’t help it. She desperately needed a friend right now to help her with her confused feelings. How good it would have been if Saya was here.

As this thought entered her mind, the young woman realized that something wasn’t quite right. Saya wasn’t simply a friend, she was her lady-in-waiting. Why wasn’t she here then? The one who had greeted her when she woke up had been an old woman, who had immediately darted away to call for sir Lucas. But why didn’t she call for Saya and instead went for the knight guarding her chambers? The more Lorelei thought about it, the more it felt strange. Maybe she was overreacting and Saya was by Gregor’s side. After all, he was her husband. But then again, this uneasy feeling just wouldn’t leave her.

Lorelei turned to the maid.

“Thank you for your service…”

“Milly, your highness,” the maid helpfully replied.

"Thank you for bringing me the duke’s gift. But wasn’t taking care of me lady Saya’s responsibility? Why don’t I see her here?”

“T-that…” the girl stuttered and looked at the knight beside her. “Lady Saya was indeed in the kitchen just a moment ago but was urgently summoned by the duke, my lady. She asked me to bring the drink to you in her place.”

“Summoned? What for?”

“I am not aware, my lady.”

Her reply only increased Lorelei’s uneasiness. Of course, there were a thousand reasons for Saya to be summoned, but right now the young woman could only imagine the worst possibilities. Maybe there was something wrong with Gregor after all? Or perhaps it had to do with the Red Hands and the kidnapping?

“Sir Lucas, would you please step outside for a moment? Milly, help me dress up in something more presentable.”

“What? My lady, what are you planning? You are in no condition to move around yet!” The knight looked confused and mortified at the same time.

Lorelei, however, remained unyielding.

“It is only right that I give my thanks to the duke for his generosity as soon as possible. Now, sir Lucas, get out, unless you are prepared to commit the indecency of watching your lady undress.”

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After the knight sheepishly left, Lorelei struggled to get up with Milly’s help. Her limbs were sore, and she felt slightly lightheaded, but she gritted her teeth and pushed on. Five minutes later, Lorelei had a simple dress on and, refusing all of the maid’s attempts to braid or style her hair, hastily left the room.

***

With a loud crack, the logs in the fireplace burst into a storm of golden sparks. Sitting behind his desk, Noah had his fingers interlocked, and the wrinkle between his eyebrows was as deep as a mountain crevice. The silent figure of Duncan towered on his right, almost like an angry bear. In truth, right at this moment, this bear-like man was the most harmless and serene person in the room.

The old knight threw worried glances back and forth between his lord and the two motionless figures standing before the duke of Norden.

For the past twenty minutes, Noah had pretended to read a stack of documents, intentionally avoiding looking in the general direction of the people he had summoned. Rising the tension before grilling those two was a well-deserved punishment. In addition, the man was trying to calm himself down enough to not commit murder.

At last, he broke the silence.

“Are the two of you insane?” Noah’s low voice drifted in the room and made all the people present shiver. “I can not believe the sheer stupidity of your actions! Have you never thought of what might happen if things go wrong? As they did!”

“The plan was entirely my idea, Noah.” William endured his lord’s scorching gaze. “I used Saya and the duchess to lure out the Red Hands. I am the one who should take all the blame.”

“No!” Saya stepped forward with a resolute expression despite her tearing eyes. “I participated willingly. I failed to fulfill my role as lady Lorelei’s shield and allowed for her to be captured. Sir William tried to warn us, to make us come back to Ildemar, but I did not listen. I am prepared to share the punishment…”

“Enough!” Noah’s fist slammed on the table, toppling the inkpot and sending black droplets flying in all directions. “Share responsibility? Share punishment? Have you forgotten your standing, Saya of House de Vindur?”

The man stood up and started pacing before his retainers. Behind his back, his fists were tightly clenched, otherwise, Noah feared that he was going to strangle somebody.

He stopped before the woman, who looked at him like a gazelle facing a hungry lion.

“You are the sole remaining heir of House de Vindur. You are the only member of the high nobility currently married to a binshi. You are the mother of the first mixed-blood baron de Vindur. Don’t you know what it would mean if you fall into the hands of the Cult of Pure Blood? Your unity with Gerash is a peace treaty with the binshi clans! Your lives are tied to the future of Norden. And yet you run around, participating in William’s crazy plans?!”

“With all due respect, my lord,” Saya’s voice was shaking, but there was still a slight trace of steel in it, “the one of importance is neither me, nor Gerash, but Soraishu. As long as the Red Hands are at large, my son and all other mixed children are in danger. If I can remove that threat, I am willing to sacrifice my life!”

“Oh, really?” Noah leaned in, towering menacingly over the woman. “So willing, that you were even prepared to sacrifice the life of the woman you serve?”

“What?! No! I was supposed to divert attention away from lady Lorelei…”

“And since when have you stopped being able to think, Saya de Vindur? Did the thirst for revenge blind you? Do you honestly believe that you being there would deter the Red Hands in any way? If anything, they would just have two juicy lambs to feast upon.”

“N-no!” Saya threw a glance at William who was standing silently beside her. “Will said that I can protect her.”

“After literally growing up together, do you think that what William de Mar says and thinks is the same thing?” Noah started pacing back and forth again. “Your role, Saya, was never to protect the duchess. It was to attract even more attention, while at the same time keep Lorelei in the camp - a sacrificial lamb for the slaughter.”

“No, my lord!” Saya fell on her knees, her body shaking violently. “This isn’t true! I could never harm Lorelei! Please, believe me! William, tell him!”

No answer came. The woman lifted her wet face and looked at her childhood friend. William de Mar stood there, head hung between his shoulders and hands resting on his cane. No emotion escaped his mask-like expression.

Noah was the one to speak again.

“He used you, Saya. Used you, without you even realizing it. You were perfect – scarred by the terror of the Red Hands, a mother trying to protect her child, a sister trying to avenge her brother. Your fear and hatred drove you subconsciously to want to fulfill your mission. To try and lure out the Red Hands at any cost.”

“B-but I tried! I told her time and time again to go back to the castle! We both did!”

“William reads people like an open book. He knew that you would take on the job. He also knew that Lorelei would not abandon you and the vagrants. If you wanted her to go away, why did you help her? As late as that murder accident she should have been sent away. Instead, you encouraged her, helped her investigate.”

“I… I…”

“What is more, if William had any intention of bringing Lorelei back to Ildemar, he had both the manpower and the authority to do so as Lord Steward.”

Saya did not respond. She just quietly sobbed on the floor. Noah shifted his gaze to his friend.

“Did I miss something, William?”

“You were the only one I could never fool, my lord,” came the dry reply.

With one stride, Noah closed the distance. His fist flew out, connecting cleanly with the man’s jaw, and sending him toppling on the ground.

“You dared use my wife as bait!” His roar shook the air. “Your schemes almost killed my duchess, my daughter, and my strongest shaman! And you almost killed your own brother!”

“Indeed,” William spat some blood on the floor.

His indifferent reply only made Noah even more furious. He dove down, grabbing the man by the collar and lifting him up abruptly.

“You swore loyalty to me! You swore to protect this land with me! What happened to your oaths, William?”

“I have fulfilled them.” The man stared at his master and there was something unwavering in his eyes that bordered on madness. “In order to protect the peace and prosperity of Norden, any life is expendable – mine, my kin’s, my friend’s. The only life that can never be sacrificed is yours. Putting you in danger is my greatest regret and most bitter failure. It was a miscalculation.”

“A miscalculation?” Noah hissed and his hands squeezed tighter beginning to choke him.

“Yes. I didn’t expect… you would personally… go after a woman… you barely… know. Not… after… your… order.”

“You damn son of a dog!” Noah shook the man like a rag doll. “I ordered you to keep your eyes open. To use Lorelei’s presence in the camp to observe any movements on the enemy’s side. I ordered you to get her out of there at the first signs of danger. What I did not order was to keep her there as live bait. And especially, I did not order the reduction of her guards in order to make her an easier target!”

With a mighty push, William was sent crashing on the floor yet again.

“Weren’t you the one who told me how precious she is with her medical knowledge? With her connections to the court of Shareeba? Weren’t you the one who urged me to bed her as soon as possible and tie her to me?”

“I-Is this true?”

A small, trembling voice rang in the room.

Noah’s heart sank. He turned around to see a familiar frail figure standing at the door supported by a knight. Her chestnut hair was cascading freely over her shoulders gilded by the sunlight, reaching far down to her hips. Even in her simple silver-gray dress, she looked unexpectedly majestic, like an ice queen from the old legends.

The woman released the knight’s arm and made a shaky step forward. This snapped Noah out of his bewilderment.

“Lorelei! What are you doing here? You should be resting.”

“Is all this true?” Her voice was no longer trembling. “Is everything that you, and Saya, and sir William said true?”

“You eavesdropped?!” Noah’s eyebrows drew together as he felt a burning sensation in his chest. “Such behavior is…”

“Look me in the eye, duke Norden!”

She didn’t shout, yet her voice carried so much power that the man involuntarily complied. His gaze lingered on her split lip and the red-purplish bruises spreading around her cheek, and the flames in his chest intensified. Finally, his eyes locked with hers. The man held his breath as their intensity almost sucked him in.

“You owe me, duke Norden,” she said softly. “After everything, you owe me the truth. What you said…”

“Is the truth.”

In his entire life, it had never been so difficult for Noah to utter three simple words. The moment they left his lips, he regretted it.

The life drained from Lorelei’s eyes. Now they were like two empty wells – cold and desolate. Her pale face became even paler. She very slowly lowered her head and swayed. Obeying some inner instinct, Noah stretched out his arms to prevent her fall.

Pat!

With an unexpectedly sharp slap, Lorelei drove his hands away.

Everyone in the room froze.

For some reason, the pain from this weak slap felt to Noah like a scalding burn. Lorelei’s face was now hidden by the waterfall of her hair, but the man could clearly see her trembling shoulders. Was she crying? The thought made the pain in his hand and chest even fiercer.

Suddenly, crispy laughter broke the silence. Noah needed a moment to realize that it came from Lorelei.

“Thank you very much, lord Norden!”

Her voice chimed cheerfully as she lifted her head. There was a bright smile on her face, however, it did not reach her eyes who looked like two glass beads.

She continued:

“I came here to thank you for your generosity, but as it seems, my intentions were a bit lacking. I am eternally grateful to you, duke Norden.”

“Lorelei…”

“I am naturally grateful. A tool should be grateful for knowing its own worth. Won’t you agree, my lord?”

“No! You are mistaken!”

“But I am not, lord Norden. And therefore, I need to thank you. After all, you gave me the highest worth possible. To my father, I was simply a means to curry favor from a prince. Yet through your highness’ brother, my value increased – to stain the name of the great duke Norden, to destroy his chances of gaining connections through marriage. Such a glorious task.”

“Lorelei, you…” Noah couldn’t finish. He saw the tears trickling down her cheeks, yet the smile on her face grew bigger.

“You, lord Norden, are the first one who used me to protect others. And this is a task that this tool gladly accepts. Do not worry. For the next ten months, my body and soul belong to you and the people of Norden. Be it my life or my medical skills, you can freely use them. After all, that was our contract. But in return, I have a request.”

“Go on.” This was all Noah could force out of his dry throat. Right now, his heart felt like a dead lump in his chest, and every other word from Lorelei stabbed another poisonous needle in it.

“Swear again before these people that you would not force yourself upon me. That I would wield the power of the duchess of Norden freely, as long as it does not harm you or your people. That when the year is over, if I am still alive, you will set me free and will not engage with me in any way.”

Noah felt that he was choking. He wanted to scream at her. To tell her that she is mistaken. To tell her that she is not a tool but a person he cherishes deeply. But did he even have the right to say it? Her blood was on his hands. He knew William better than anyone. He knew how deep his hatred for the Red Hands ran, and how far he was prepared to go in order to destroy them. Indeed, no direct order was given for Lorelei to be used as bait. But neither did he explicitly forbid William to use her. His silence had been equal to a tacit agreement. And because of that, she had almost lost her life. He had no right to bind her in any way after all.

Noah lowered his head.

“I swear. All of your demands will be fulfilled, my duchess.”

“You are most generous, my lord. Thank you.” Lorelei curtsied deeply and then turned to the petrified sir Lucas who had been perching at the door all this time. “Would you please escort me to my chambers? I feel a bit weak and I don’t want to disgrace myself in front of his highness.”

After saying that, she left the room.

Suddenly feeling his knees soft, Noah leaned on his desk and took a couple of deep breaths.

“Are you alright?” Duncan, who had been a silent spectator this whole time, rushed to him.

“I am fine. Take lady Saya to her quarters. She will remain there until further notice. As for you, William…”

Noah gave a side glance to the other man who had managed to climb to his feet and now leaned heavily on his cane.

“As for you, I suggest you escort yourself to the western tower.”

“As you order,” came the solemn reply. “But the northern tower would be a better option.”

“Damn you, de Mar! I want you punished not frozen to death! But if you play with me a bit longer, I might personally chop off your head! Now get out! All of you!”

As the door shut behind them, Noah slid to the floor, leaning his back on the massive side of the desk. His fingers frantically dug around his collar until he pulled out a leather strap with two small amulets - one dark-blue like the starry sky, the other sparkling white like the snow at dawn. With a strong yank, he snapped the cord and lifted his hand over his head. It remained there. He couldn't toss away the two twin-drops. His fingers wrapped around them and didn't want to let go.

Drawing a shaky breath, Noah pressed his fist to his forehead.

"Stupid fool!"

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