On our way back I tend to Liseti.

I have a rather pressuring question on my mind.

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I am getting really anxious at these words.

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This is an extremely private topic.

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Things I never ought to know!

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More and more I dread what the future has in store for me.

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Couldn't she be a little bit more considerate?

All that keeps me sane right now is denial.

My mentality is at the moment at its limits.

And one particular thing might give me the last shove.

When we reach the plaza in front of our quarters I can force myself to ask.

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As I feared!

Another round of the horror tour.

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Wait!

Carriage!

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No, surely not!

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Oh god. I have to start at zero!

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I draw a basic impression on the ground.

"They get fastened on the structure and carry the weight so that it's easy to pull the whole thing. Well, "easier". Humans would use the strength of animals to move this. Meanwhile one can just sit inside.> (E)

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I think I grow pale.

No, change that!

I'm sure I grow pale.

There are horror visions I don't even want to think about.

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I'm growing sick.

That was really...

I have no words.

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Thank you evolution!

Thank you for not favoring the worst possible treatment!

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I am a little worried to have her leading any negotiations on her own.

Too much could go wrong slip and cause a diplomatic issue.

In both directions.

I don't want the cause for the next swarm war to be a carriage.

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With this, she heads off and I can just go back to my room.

I have heavy stuff on my mind.

Aside from the point that I have the weight of humanity's ongoing survival on me and that stuff with the royal guard becomes more and more frightening, there is one thing.

I don't know what to think about the queen.

To be honest, I don't like her.

While it's difficult to blame the swarm and all its members for what happened to me, the queen was it who stripped my humanity away from me and brought me into this situation in the first place.

I hold quite some resentment against her for effectively ending my life as it was.

A decision I had not much word in.

On the other side, everyone respects her deeply and hearing those sudden horror stories about alternative treatments for princesses was quite much.

Not that I ever planned to do something as stupid as going against this twenty-meter monster which is supported by all the billions of insects the swarm hosts.

I don't want to thank her for making my life not as shitty as it could be.

However, I was granted some freedom.

This is a concession.

Creating a weird kind of gratitude, which makes it difficult to ask for revenge.

Really confusing.

I decide to stop my musing and fall into sleep.