Sara slept in the afternoon for the first time she could remember, physically exhausted from a night of cleaning up filth. Emotionally drained from the past day, the past three months. The stress of being trapped like radroaches, even for a few hours. Offset by the pride she felt in her aspirant leading the team through it.

She knew Crixus would struggle underground, but had no idea how badly it would affect Styx, Acheron, and herself. It wasn’t that much smaller than the outpost she’d called home for the past five years. Yet the psychological impact of being that deep underground, trapped by heavy pre-war engineering, brought a new level of pressure.

Ronin got her through it, got them all through it, she’d never been prouder of him. He moved well, better than anyone else, clearing quickly, safely. They would have been down there twice as long at least without him. He even dropped a talker. She hadn’t expected that from him. Any more than she'd expected him to disobey orders she nearly didn’t give, drop from a bird, and bring down a building from the inside.

Even if she’d been armoured, she wouldn’t have seen to opportunity to save lives while securing the warhead. Not that Val didn’t deserve her share of the credit. She flew better than her namesake. Dropping from the sky, not quite landing while collecting the precious cargo, then taking off quickly. Despite being overloaded by a man and a weapon of mass destruction.

She welcomed the slow flight back to the outpost. Sitting in the open cabin, feeling the breeze, looking out across the wastes that never looked better. After an even slower shower, Sara half dozed off again in her quarters. She felt relaxed by the knowledge that her plan over the last three months went better than she hoped. And given the raw intel they’d been able to access, thanks to John, would take months to process, she couldn’t find a good reason not to let him go.

There’s no way he would take to the quiet life, not for long anyway. It takes a special kind of restrained madness to drop from a bird in flight. Forcing your mind to fight back the most primal of fears then stepping into silence followed by chaos. Nothing else quite like it. Certainly not farming, or scavenging, or whatever the hell John pictured for himself.

They’d found the parts he needed, although that hadn’t brought her comfort. Not only because her father would see it as one less thing John needed from the Brotherhood. But because it meant there would be one less reason for those trapped to leave that awful place. She doubted there would many of John’s calibre, and that had very little to do with the thing on his arm.

Sara took a couple laps of the outpost wall. Jogged one, then walked the other. Enjoying the setting sun while preparing for the final weekly briefing with the elder. Readying her arguments, finding just the right phrases.

Her father had become irritable over the last month, prone to anger. That wasn’t like him, and it definitely wasn’t a good trait for any commander. She felt confident she could reach him. Maybe without a ticking clock and the good intel they were sure to find. Plus whatever they pulled out of that Vault, would lift his mood, let him take some downtime. Maybe even a trip to Shadowtown, John could meet them. A show of good faith and they could get to know each other better.

Her confidence shattered as she entered the elder’s office, finding it empty. Instead finding her father in his quarters, halfway through a bottle of the good vodka. Orders from high command on the table in front of him.

“I’ve been offered my pick of assignments and a meeting with the Round Table.” Sara had to hide her relief. She knew that the sit down with the ruling council, second only to the high elder himself. It meant they’d be heading back west soon. Giving up on the search for Vault X. Her uncle didn’t pointlessly sacrifice their marriage, his career, to hide whatever lay buried in there for nothing.

“I’m sorry Dad, I am, but we can go home now. We’ve done good work here, they see that and are rewarding you, it’s about time.”

“We aren’t going anywhere, I am. They want the warhead, the research data, and a sample of the alloy right away. I’ve been ordered to take as many men as I see fit and head west.” Sara stopped her father before he drank from the bottle, knowing it wouldn’t help. She poured him a small one, and a large one for herself. “They’re sending a replacement, Summers, he’s going to continue the search. You’ll be in command till he arrives.” She knew there was no way of stopping what came next, she could only hope to steer it,

“But...”

“I’m going to disregard the order.” They both knew the penalty for an elder refusing an order. Whatever autonomy they were granted to run their chapters ended at orders from high command.

“If you do this, they’ll execute you.” Sara had broken enough Brotherhood law to be executed, communicating with the enemy and leaking intel. She did it carefully, this would be an act of defiance that would draw attention, even this far east.

“I won’t let it come to that, I promise.” She believed him, although his judgement hadn’t been what it once was. His more direct impulses no longer tempered by the measured counsel of her uncle.

“What exactly do Command know?” Sara had no idea how much they knew, she wasn’t cleared to. If she hoped to thread this needle, she would need to know.

“They know about everything apart from the device, they’d want that shipped back.”

“You mean John.” She made sure he acknowledged him, her friend. “What about Uncle Brandon?” Not mentioning him by name was her father’s rule, not hers. It hurt him to hear it, almost as much as it did to bring it up.

“Officially, listed missing in action.” Sara hoped her father hadn’t report what he only saw as betrayal. He wouldn’t want command to have any excuse to pull the plug. She leant back in the leather chair, running the options, hoping the man who taught her to think like this would see things her way, or at least be swayed to.

“You should go back.” Sara let the idea hang between them for a moment. “Take them what they want, play the good soldier. I’ll slow roll Summers and we’ll have John on standby. That bitch Overseer had a private escape tunnel, she must have been able to open the main door with that thing on her arm. That plus whatever we find down there will take months to go through anyway. When we get a location I’ll send word, everybody wins.” She saw him consider it, he had to see the practicality of it. Yet this meant he needed to trust in others, something this place, this mission, made hard to do.

Sara tried to change the subject with a fresh drink and a question, letting the idea take root. “Why didn’t you tell them about John?”

“Nothing to tell. A key for a door we can’t find, in the possession of someone we can’t trust.”

“You can trust Ronin," She used the name given by her father. "He knows he owes us, more than that he wants to help us.” Sara wanted that idea to take root. “He thinks he wants the quiet life because he’s never had it. Believe me by the time you get back he’ll be so bored of farming he’ll be back anyway. He’s a knight in all but name…speaking of which.”

If she could get John knighted, inducted fully into the Brotherhood, it would build a lot of trust. Plus she knew how much her father enjoyed the pomp and circumstance. “He’s ready, he got us through that nightmare, it shows we value him, makes him part of something. Let him run the relocation if he wants.” Sara still couldn’t get a definite read, although her father didn’t correct her assumption he would go. “He admires you, you know that right. Picked up a copy of the ‘The Art of War’ as a gift for you. Plus one of the watches we found in the bank vault, a nice one too.” Sara didn’t lie, apart from the watch, she’d picked one out for her father.

“Set it up, we’ll do it tonight, keep it small but make sure there’s plenty of food and booze.”

“Good, the team needs this too. You remember when we first got here we spent months taking down slavers and raiders. You remember what you told me when I asked why?”

“Heart and minds.” Sara saw the smile that came with memory of happier times.

“That’s what this is, hearts and minds.”

“So Val and I will drop John tomorrow night, set up a frequency for him to check in every seventy two hours. Pick out some rv points en route.” Sara felt she’d made her case, she had every reason to think the tightrope she’d been walking for months was about to come to an end. Then she saw it. The look, the feeling, the darkness behind her father’s eyes. Everything her uncle warned her about before he left. The obsession spreading like cancer, twisting the soldiers instincts into something terrifying.

“You’re going to follow him, let him deliver the parts. While he’s inside you’re going to arm the warhead, then bring him back here, alone. He stays until I don’t need him or I blow it.” Sara’s heart broke, she didn’t recognise her father anymore. This place, the mission he’d fought so hard to get, only for him to fail day after day, year after, with nothing to show for their work. The loss of a husband, and the moment they got something real they ordered him back. It broke him.

“They want the warhead, if you don’t deliver it they’re going to send the fucking Circle out here.” She knew better than to make an emotional appeal, not yet anyway. Perhaps invoking the name of the ruthless, fanatical, hard line Brotherhood internal affairs division would snap the elder out of this lunacy. Maybe just long enough for her to reach her father.

“I’ll tell them it became too dangerous to transport, and I secured it here, which will be true. If they still want me back after that, I’ll go.”

“You don’t need to do this, you can deliver them the warhead, use it against the abomination, not against innocents.” She tried to keep a calm tone, tactical, cold, indifferent.

“This is a contingency plan, if we can trust him like you say we won’t ever have to set it off.”

“John won’t trust us if you do this, he trusts us now. He’s a good man, honourable, brave and loyal, we don’t need to do this.” Sara had absolutely no intention of following this order. She knew better than to give the elder a reason to think that. He might send someone else, someone who would follow the order blindly.

“I will not risk this mission on the word of a would be wastrel.”

“He’s not a wastrel, he’s a knight, one of your knights, one of my team, my friend…please Dad, don’t make me betray him.” Sara had no choice to try and reach her father with emotion, she couldn’t keep it contained any longer.

“When you asked to take him as your aspirant I told you that there may come a day when you had to choose between him and the Brotherhood. The tech on his arm makes him an asset first and foremost. You have your orders, if you don’t follow them I’ll send Recon.” Sara couldn’t find the words for the man she no longer recognised. Too busy with her own guilt at the part she’d played in all this. Her uncle needed to get a look at John, she’d pushed to take him on as her student, her aspirant. A decision she took pride in, until now.

Sara, distraught on the inside, the picture of calm on the outside, wandered the base. Trying to think, running options. There had to be a way through this, maybe her father would see sense in the morning, although she couldn’t rely on that now. She felt untethered, lost, isolated in a way she hadn’t felt since before joining the Brotherhood. Following in her father’s footsteps. She’d been so proud to share his name. A name given her when he took in an orphan from the wastes.

The Brotherhood meant everything to her, she saw what it meant to John too. A man enslaved by a lie, now given purpose, belief, a cause to fight for. Now she had to take it away from him, to keep him safe. But not before he became a knight, he deserved that at least.

Sara paused her feelings, in the way a good soldier could. Ready to put a plan in place, her contingency plan, one that would let her sleep at night. The only advantage Sara found was that she would be in command for a few months at least, with greater access. Not just on paper, in practical terms. Sara stopped walking the outer wall as she realised this would be her largest ever command. She’d always wanted that, now she’d have it, and Paladin Maxwell felt entirely undeserving of such honour.

Sara subtly brought Valkyrie to her quarters, under the guise of grabbing her things to get John ready for tonight. She owed him a proper send off, there’d be time for the mess tomorrow. The wound she would be forced to inflict could be soothed by the reunion with the girl he loved.

As soon as Sara closed the door Val saw right through her façade. “Shit Sara, they’re not letting John go are they.”

“No we are, I’ve been ordered to let him make contact, then set that nuke on remote. He comes with us or the elder blows it. No one gets in, or out, ever again.” She tried to remain neutral, this had to be Val’s decision.

“Fuck that, I won’t do it. Get him in a crate we’ll go right now.” Sara’s feelings overtook her training, reducing her to tears. No longer isolated, embracing her friend, both prepared to do what’s right, orders or not.

“I’ve got a plan, it’s a risk, but we can do it.” Sara laid out her plan, telling Val the truth she deserved long ago. Telling her about the real reason her uncle left. That they were still in contact, and that they could both be cast out like he was if things went wrong. Val didn’t flinch, as fearless on the ground as she was in the air.

They found John in his quarters, not in the shower for once, although after the night they’d had she wouldn’t have blamed him. Val set to work cutting his hair, he fidgeted like a child in a way that made them both laugh, she realised it must be his first real haircut. People had taken from him all his life, now she had to take away the thing she’d given him.

“Listen John, we need a location for tomorrow night, just for flight time, weather reports, that sort of thing. Is there a landmark you can think of?” Sara tried to sound casual, like this would be just another run.

“Yeah, there’s one of those Red Rocket places, east of The Grand.” She saw how much he trusted them, she wasn’t going to break that trust, yet she may push it to the very limit.

“That’ll work, but listen we’re still on standby so under armour on, we’ve got a debrief to get done.”

“Did they find anything useful?” She saw John wasn’t asking for himself, he really wanted to help.

“We’ll find out at the debrief, it could take weeks to catalogue.”

“I gave the elder my word, and I want you to know you have it too, once I’ve done what I needed to I’ll stand ready, I promise.” Sara couldn’t hold his gaze for long. The man who lived as a slave all his life had more honour, trust and integrity than the lifelong soldier that commanded them both.