Blanche's head was buzzing when she awoke for the first time. The whole room was dark so that she couldn't make out anything except for a figure that was sitting next to the bed she was lying on. She didn't have any energy to fight against her first instinct, so she called out her lover's name despite not expecting a reply. It came out as a low whimper, but surprisingly, that was enough to grant her some relief.

Theodore hushed her and intertwined the fingers of his hand with hers.

She heard some paper rustling, but nothing followed after that. When he didn't say anything even though some seconds passed, she called for him again.

This time, her lover responded in a whisper. “I'm right here, don't worry. Go to sleep. You need to rest.” He lifted something from her forehead and replaced it with a cold, wet piece of fabric, which made her flinch.

Though a few seconds after that, the coolness didn't feel uncomfortable but rather pleasant. It stopped the pounding in Blanche's head, and quickly, exhaustion overtook her. She barely noticed that her lover was carefully stroking over her head before she fell asleep.

The next time that Blanche awoke, she didn't feel sick anymore. She could breathe easily and nothing hurt, but she was still tired, so she didn't move for a while. She dipped back into unconsciousness occasionally, and whenever she woke up, she listened to her surroundings. Someone was always walking around or speaking to another person, so it seemed like she was never alone in the room. When she finally felt a little more rested, she noticed that someone had been holding her hand for some time. The man, whom she could only assume to be Theodore, tightly grasped her and refused to let go for even a second.

She remained unmoving in the same position for a bit before slowly opening her eyes. The light that came in through the windows was obstructed by some lighter curtains, but it still seemed unusually bright and made her squint.

It didn't take long for Theodore to realized that she was awake, and he leaned down to press a kiss on her forehead. “Thank the gods. Are you feeling better? Should I get you water or food or anything else?”

“Water would be nice.” Her speech was slurred, so it appeared that Blanche had been sleeping for longer than she had anticipated. She slowly began to accommodate to the light as Theodore rummaged around on the nightstand before pouring liquid into a glass.

“Slowly.” He gently pulled her up so that she could lean her back against the pillow. Then he let go of her hand to hold the glass to her lips and tilted it slightly until she could drink.

After the first careful sips rushed down her dry throat and Blanche didn't feel the need to vomit anymore, she gulped down the rest as well.

That made Theodore let out a low sigh. “Don't overdo it. You didn't eat much in the last two days, so I don't know whether your stomach will cause problems.” He took the glass and filled half of it again before moving it to her mouth.

“Two days?” That long? Blanche allowed him to assist her with drinking this time as well while keeping her gaze focused on his face.

Theodore looked tired. He often did, but it had been over a year since he had had such dark rings under his eyes. She had only seen him this exhausted once, and that had been after his fight with her regarding his marriage with Seraphina. And once again, he was feeling miserable because of Blanche.

Immediately, guilt formed a pit in her stomach. “I'm-” She had opened her mouth and barely voiced the first word, but it seemed like her expression had betrayed her plan.

Theodore interrupted her before he should have even been able to recognize her intention. “Don't apologize.” It was rather hard to refrain from doing that when he was looking at her with such fatigue in his eyes.

Blanche couldn't help wanting to explain that she was sorry. “But you are so worn out. This is my fault, isn't it? I think I remember you taking care of me while I was asleep. Were you here the entire time?”

A little smile appeared on Theodore's lips, but it didn't even reach the rest of his face. “It was my choice to stay here, so you shouldn't worry about me. I've already gone on longer without sleep.”

Blanche forced herself in an upright position despite her sore muscles complaining due to the sudden movement. She opened her mouth, but Theodore scolded her before she could speak up.

“What are you doing? Don't move that quickly. You haven't eaten more than a few bites and just woke up. You can't afford to over-exhaust yourself.” He grabbed her shoulders and gently pressed against her until she was leaning against her cushion again. He was about to retract his arms, and she caught his hand just in time.

Blanche intertwined their fingers and made eye contact with her lover. “You didn't answer my question. You didn't leave, right? Have you slept during the last two days?”

A pause followed, which would have been sufficient to reveal the truth, but Theodore's reply did so even more. “I took multiple short naps. I'm fine.” That meant that he had dozed off a couple of times for a few minutes, and this definitely wasn't enough.

Blanche quickly shook her head. “No, you're not fine. I can see how tired you are. You should go to sleep as soon as possible.”

Her lover let out a small chuckle that lacked any amusement. He rested his elbows on the mattress and leaned forward to grasp her hand with both of his. For a moment, he hid his face behind their hands and pressed his forehead against them. “You're the one that is sick right now. Why are you thinking about me first? You constantly mumbled my name whenever you were awake for a few seconds too.”

Blanche felt a small tug in her stomach after hearing that. “Did you stay in my room because of that?” She already believed that she was whining too much, and if that had been the reason for Theodore's exhaustion, she would be even angrier at herself.

Theodore denied that though. “No, I would have stayed anyway. I didn't leave the room for more than a minute because I feared... I really thought-” He cut himself off to let out a silent sob that she only noticed because his shoulders were twitching. “I thought that-” He didn't finish on his seconds attempt either and lowered their intertwined hands to look at her. His eyes were so glassy that they reflected the light off the chandelier and made it obvious that he was crying.

Blanche felt a pang at her heart at that sight. She leaned forward once more, but her attempt was stopped again. Still, her desire to calm her lover remained, so she raised her free hand to cup his cheek. “I'm alright. It won't get worse from now on.”

“I know, I know, I know.” Theodore whispered, but his voice still sounded broken. “I'm so grateful for that. I thought that someone poisoned you. I thought I'd-” He paused to wipe his eyes and slid off the chair to kneel down beside her before resting his head next to hers on the pillow. He took a moment to regain his composure as Blanche began to stroke over his hair while trying not to cry because of her lover.

After a short while, Theodore straightened his posture to make eye contact. “Did you eat or drink anything at the ball? Did someone offer you any other item that might have been tampered with?”

Blanche shook her head. She knew that admitting the truth would cause him to become angry, but she would never consider lying in this situation. “No. I was sick before the ball. I had a cold for a few days already, and it was getting better after I rested and took some pills. The event must have been too much for me in that state though.”

As expected, the expression on Theodore's face morphed into bitterness. “I heard about that. Your maid and the doctor told me. I don't know whether I should be furious with them for not intervening nor informing me of such a serious illness or with you for being so reckless and ignoring your health just to go to that stupid ball. Why did you think that this was a good idea in the first place? What was so important about being there?” He spoke in a harsh tone that only served to pressure her more.

“I...uhm...” Blanche tried to lay out her explanation in a way that wouldn't make him ask why she cared about the public's opinion so much

But her lover spoke up before she could even come to a conclusion. “You don't have to reply. Your maid already told me.”

She froze and dug her fingernails into the blanket until she realized that this would make him suspicious of the fact that she was hiding something. Surely, Stella hadn't revealed the part about Sefare, right? If she had, everything would be over now. The servant should have been aware of that, but she might have given in after the emperor's presence intimidated her.

Blanche struggled to relax her hands and keep them from shaking. She stared in the direction of her feet to avoid letting her lover see the uncertainty in her eyes. “She did?”

Theodore hesitated for a little too long for her liking before responding. “Yes, she told me about you being completely focused on not wanting to offend the empress and your desire to make up for the banquet. And still...” He stood up and sat down on his chair before moving closer to her and taking her hand in his again. “I don't understand why that seems so important to you. You explained that you don't wish to destroy my relationship with the Duremont family, and I get that. However, no one...not the empress, not her father nor anyone else would have complained about you not attending. Some people might have made wild speculations, but it would have never damaged my or your reputation in the slightest. In fact, it was-”

It was even worse now, wasn't it?

Theodore interrupted himself to evade his gaze and shake his head. He only looked back at his lover after taking a deep breath. “No matter what others think, it can't be a reason for you to neglect your health. You weren't feeling well from the start, so you shouldn't have left your bed at all, not to mention running around at a ball the whole evening, dancing for an eternity and not getting help when you can't even stand upright.” His voice became more strained with every word and made her doubt her own judgment even more.

In retrospect, it was true that Blanche's decision had been reckless. She should have stayed in her room and sent Stella to bring the letter to Sefare while he was about to depart. That would have prevented her from having to endure hours of nerve-wrecking and exhausting things at the event. Though she couldn't have expected that her illness would make her so miserable that she would collapse. It seemed almost impossible that her cold had been the sole reason for everything that she had experienced.

The intense agony in her chest and throat as well as the blood on her hands and the vision of Theodore couldn't have originated from a fever, right? She had definitely hallucinated, but could that have been because of her sickness? And could her mind truly recreate such a realistic illusion of pain?

Blanche lifted her free hand to her neck and felt the skin, but there weren't any rough spots that could have indicated an injury or a scar. When she looked at her fingertips, they were clean too, even after she had touched every part of her neck.

Theodore observed her movements with a frown for some time before he questioned her. “Is everything alright?”

Slowly, Blanche turned to him while thinking about how she could put her worries into words. “That might sound odd...but are there any wounds on my neck? Or my chest?”

The wrinkles of her lover's forehead only deepened at that. “No, the doctor didn't find any signs of injuries during the examination, and I also couldn't find any. Does anything hurt?”

The growing flicker of concern in Theodore's eyes immediately made Blanche attempt to calm him. “No, I don't feel anything out of the ordinary now. But at the ball, those parts hurt a lot, so I thought that... I must have been imagining that too.” It seemed unrealistic that her mind had made this kind of pain up, but it was the only logical explanation.

“About that...” Theodore began after a short pause. “Your eyes were fixated onto something invisible in the distance for a while, and you seemed disoriented when I caught you. Did you hallucinate?”

“I think so.” No other reasoning allowed Blanche to make sense out of the things she had experienced. It was impossible for her to have suddenly stood in a different version of the ballroom without moving, so she had to have imagined that. She nodded to emphasize that she was certain of her response.

Her lover squeezed her hand to reassure her before speaking up. “You could barely stand up, and you looked like you were in pain and scared. Multiple people tried to talk to you, but you didn't react at all. I saw that while I was dancing and stopped to find out what was wrong. When I walked in your direction, your eyes widened, and you were terrified. You said the word ‘why’ a few times and didn't seem to recognize me. Then you almost collapsed, and I caught you. After that, you became conscious again but still looked around in fear and said some nonsensical thing about me not touching you because others were watching. You managed to answer my questions about where we were correctly, so I thought that you were getting better. But then you suddenly apologized and fell unconscious. What did you see that caused you to be in that state?”

That was a difficult question.

How could Blanche describe her vision to him without actually mentioning that her lover himself had been the most frightening thing about her hallucination? She didn't want to make him believe that she was scared of him. After all, she didn't fear him.

The person that horrified her was the future version of Theodore that would despise her more than anything else and wanted her dead. How could she tell her lover that she had collapsed because she had imagined him threatening her? Without the background information of the novel, he would assume that her subconsciousness expected him to hurt her. That would pain him a lot. So, she couldn't risk him misunderstanding her for even one second.

Blanche looked to the side while she started to repeat what had happened without the part about Theodore. “I felt a strange pain in my chest and couldn't breathe. I didn't know what was wrong, so I panicked. When I tried to speak, my throat hurt too, and I could only cough. Then blood was coming from my neck. And I was all alone in the room at first, and then you were there. But I couldn't talk, so you didn't turn around, which left me in that state for a short while. As you said, those hallucinations stopped after you grabbed my arms.”

After she finished, Theodore's eyes stayed on her face for another moment before he nodded and turned his head to stare into the distance. He didn't say anything for a few seconds and only snapped out of his daze after she called his name. “The doctor should examine you a few more times to make sure that you don't have any serious ailments anymore. To feel such an intense pain that causes you to have trouble breathing for no reason isn't normal. We can't take any risks by being negligent now. I will summon him immediately.”

That might be better, even though Blanche doubted that the royal doctor, who was an exceptional specialist in the medical field, would make an error that required multiple check-ups.

She nodded, which caused Theodore to stroke his thumb over the backside of her hand. He reluctantly let go to rise from his chair and walk to the door.

Blanche used these few seconds to look around. As expected, she was in her room. Nothing seemed to have been moved during the past day except for the chair, which had originally been from her desk and was now standing beside the bed for Theodore to sit on. Her gaze roamed across the walls before landing on her lover's back.

Theodore was talking to someone that was outside and took a step to the side before seemingly speaking to a third person. It quickly became obvious why he had done that.

Within a second, Stella rushed into the room and stormed to Blanche's side. She looked like she wanted to throw her arms around her mistress but forced herself to plop down onto the chair and settle for grabbing the other woman's hand instead. “My Lady...” She was almost wailing as she tightened her grasp on the other woman. “I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have allowed you to go out. I was so scared. You just collapsed and barely woke up, and I could have stopped that from happening. I'm sorry.” The maid's speech was slightly slurred, and she sniffled every few seconds while big teardrops rolled down her face.

Seeing that was enough to make Blanche feel awful. She had been at fault for this disaster, so she would have to take full responsibility. She couldn't let Stella feel guilty.

Blanche attempted to squeeze the servant's hand with as much vigor as Stella used, but she lacked the strength to do so. Unsurprisingly, not eating for two days had weakened her more than she had previously noticed. So, her movement hadn't done anything to calm Stella but only worried the other woman even more. The concubine saw how the maid's bottom lips began trembling and quickly spoke up. “I'm fine now, so you don't have to be scared. You don't have to feel guilty either. It was my choice to attend the ball, and I went despite your efforts to stop me.”

“Still...” Stella whined quietly before wiping her eyes. “You were sleeping for the last two days, but I wasn't permitted to stay here for longer than maybe three hours. His Majesty said that you only woke up to take a bite of some food or a sip of water, and then you fell unconscious again.”

Blanche didn't even remember that. She had been half-awake for a while, but she didn't have any recollection of consuming anything before becoming fully aware of her surroundings. But she was thankful that she had eaten since her stomach was already constricting in hunger, and that would have been way worse if she hadn't had any food during the last few hours. “Well, I'm doing better, so you shouldn't think about that anymore. Though I have to admit that I'm a bit hungry. Would you mind getting me something?” This would hopefully sate her hunger and calm her maid down since it proved that Blanche felt a bit better again.

The plan worked surprisingly well. Stella immediately jumped up. “Of course not! What do you want?”

Blanche considered asking for salmon or macarons, but she doubted that her favorites would be good in her current state. She forced herself to put her quick recovery first instead of giving in to her desires. “I don't want to eat any oily food right now, so a bit of bread would be good. And some fruits, maybe?”

“Naturally!” Stella turned around, only to pause and face her mistress again. “I'm so glad that you are awake. Please be more careful from now on.” The concubine assured her that she would with a nod, and Stella left. The maid passed Theodore, who was still standing by the door and leaned his shoulder against the wall while staring into the distance.

When Blanche caught a glimpse of her lover's expression, she froze.

At this moment, Theodore felt unobserved and let down his guard, which caused him to stop pretending to be fine. He looked even more tired than before, but exhaustion wasn't the only emotion that was reflected on his face. He seemed dejected too as if something terrible had happened.

That was enough to make an uneasy feeling bubble in Blanche's stomach, and she wanted nothing more than to rise from the bed and hurry to him. She had already folded back the blanket and planted her feet onto the ground when her lover noticed her movements.

“Don't do that!” Within a couple of steps, Theodore was next to her and pressed his hands onto her shoulders to keep her from standing up. “You are still too weak to run around. You have to eat and fully recover first, or you'll just make everything worse again. You don't want to get sicker in a few days, right?”

“No, I don't.” Blanche would like to stop worrying everyone, so she would certainly have to pull herself together.

Theodore used her response to emphasize his demands once more. “See? That's why you have to rest now. If you won't do that for yourself, then at least do it for me. I don't ever want to go through something like this again.”

Blanche's desire to move around, which was already small due to her missing strength, decreased even more at that. Without arguing back, she lifted her legs onto the bed and allowed Theodore to cover her with the blanket. Still, she raised both of her arms and extended them in his direction.

Her lover understood her intention immediately and sat down on the mattress by her side to put his arms around her and gently pulled her into a tight embrace. He still seemed to be mindful of any possible injuries, but she didn't care and squeezed him as tightly as she could.

Blanche barely stayed quiet for a few seconds before she couldn't contain the words anymore. “I won't do something this reckless again. It was stupid of me, but I didn't think that it would be that bad. I'm sorry. I really, really am. It won't happen again.”

The emperor let out a quiet noise that sounded like a shaky sigh and finally grabbed her more firmly too. He buried his nose in her neck and took a few deep breaths before mumbling into her ear. “Promise me that it won't. You can't ever put yourself in danger.”

She didn't let him wait for her reply. “I promise from the bottom of my heart.”

Theodore paused once more, this time for a bit longer. Still, he didn't let go of her or loosen his grasp. He inhaled and exhaled deeply again before beginning. “Promise me that you won't put other people's unimportant opinions before your health too. If you feel threatened, you have to tell me.” His voice shook slightly while he spoke.

And even though his demand was reasonable, an unpleasant tingle in Blanche's stomach reminded her that she couldn't promise that without lying. The concubine had to pay attention to the empress' and the public's view of her. She couldn't become the villainess, or she would die. But the even more crucial aspect was that there was no way that she would tell her lover about her connection to Sefare, the Vasquez family and thus also his traitorous mother and brother. He wouldn't be able to forgive her for that no matter what she said. She despised lying to him, but if that was the only chance to save their relationship, she wouldn't think about that twice.

Blanche opened her mouth to reply, but Theodore already reacted before she could voice a single word.

He slowly lowered his arms without taking his hands off her back and moved a bit away from her to meet her gaze. His eyes were filled with a seriousness that caused her heart to beat quicker.

Blanche knew that getting uneasy so quickly wasn't good, but she couldn't help it. “Is there something wrong?” She reluctantly loosened her grasp on her lover.

Unfortunately, no response followed. Theodore just stared at her and scanned her face.

The silence was about to become unbearable, and Blanche called his name to get him to continue. “Theo? Are you alright? Don't just look at me.”

That was the cue Theodore needed to finally start speaking, but his sentence almost made her wish that he hadn't. “We need to talk about something.” His voice carried a sense of severity that made her heart thump even louder in her chest.

What could be so urgent that he felt the need to address it directly after she had woken up? Was Blanche much sicker than she had thought? Had Theodore learned about her involvement in Sefare's intrigues? Had he begun to fall for Seraphina and wanted to warn his lover about the possibility of him leaving her despite his vows?

Her fingers begun to dig into her lover's clothes, and she forced herself to relax all of her muscles, which was difficult when her body wanted to cramp.

Apparently, her panic had shown on her face as well since Theodore quickly put one of his hands against her cheek. When that didn't help, he pulled her back into a tight embrace. “Don't be so scared. I love you.”

Blanche desperately needed that affirmation. She held onto her lover without moving or daring to make a sound. She still had no idea what this was about, and that scared her. It didn't help that Theodore took his time replying either.

Both of them were silent for the next few seconds and clung to one another without moving. Theodore still didn't attempt to distance himself again when he finally resumed. “I fou-”

The knock on the door cut him off in a manner that was almost too perfect to have been a coincidence.

The concubine felt how Theodore's shoulders relaxed when he slowly backed off to look at the entrance. “That must be the doctor.” He spoke with an expression that made him seem even more worn out than before turning back to his lover. Despite his obvious exhaustion, he breathed out in relief and gave her a small smile. “We'll continue this alone later.” He rose from the bed and went to the door to open it while leaving her behind in confusion.

Her lover had sounded so serious, but his grin just now contradicted this. If he was happy about postponing the conversation, the matter had to be unpleasant. However, in that case, it didn't make sense for him to delay talking about an urgent subject, so it couldn't have been that bad, right?

Blanche didn't have much time or energy to ponder about that since Theodore returned to her side with another person a couple of seconds later.

The royal doctor was an elderly, chubby man with round glasses that were way too big for his small eyes. He seemed easygoing at first glimpse and had a soothing aura, which was great for handling patients, but that didn't make him any less experienced. He had already worked in the palace during the previous emperor's reign, which was undeniable proof of his skills.

Upon seeing that the concubine was awake and sitting upright, the doctor showed her a gentle smile as he took a seat on the chair next to the bed and placed his bag on the floor. “It's good to see that you are up. Do you still feel pain somewhere? Even a tiny amount? Or does your breathing seem constricted?”

Blanche shook her head at every question and watched the doctor as he leaned forward to take a handbook and a pen out of his bag to write something down. However, her attention was quickly diverted towards Theodore, who was carrying another chair from the table to the other side of her bed to sit down there. Her lover nodded in her direction and then focused on observing the other man.

The doctor put his opened book onto the nightstand and announced that he would do a couple of different tests to check whether the concubine's senses were working correctly. He asked Blanche to follow the pen with her eyes while he moved it around. Then he observed how she coordinated her limps as well as similar things while Theodore was watching them. The doctor would have like to see whether she was able to walk again too, but the emperor intervened instantly and refused to allow her to leave the bed. The doctor accepted that with a sigh.