Blanche rubbed over her lover's back before retracting one of her arms to rest her head on it. With a quiet sigh, she replied. “It's nice of you to calm me down. But we do have to worry a bit more from now on. The rumors considering a woman living in the palace and clinging to the emperor existing are one thing. But they were even voiced in front of the empress and all the guests at the tea party.”

At those words, Theodore went rigid, and his eyes widened. “Someone actually dared to do that?”

“In fact, multiple people did.”

The emperor let his head fall onto the cushion and let out an elongated groan. For a moment, he closed his eyes, and when he opened them, a deep frown was etched into his features. “Will you tell me what exactly they said?”

She moved around a bit to find a comfortable position, from where she could look at Theodore's face without straining her neck too much. “Well, you know that Sophia Ravillot is pregnant, right?” He nodded, which encouraged her to continue. “She revealed how she will call her baby, and then the Duchess of Vasquez announced that she is expecting a child too. Lady Lemares thought that this was a good opportunity to ask whether the empress would have an heir this year.”

Her lover's face scrunched up at hearing this. “That woman is even more foolish than I believed her to be.”

Blanche shrugged as much as she could while lying down. “That was my reaction too. As you can imagine, Her Majesty quickly evaded that topic, but it soured her mood anyway. Just when everyone was sure that the subject would be dropped, Lady Valerian made a joke about how you could still have an heir even if the empress wasn't ready and looked at me.”

Theodore sucked in air between his teeth and covered his eyes for a moment. “That is...”

She gave her best to ignore the stinging in her chest at the memory of her doubts about being able to have children and finished his sentence before he could. “Terrible? Yes, it was. Especially since everyone, and by that I mean every single person at the table, heard it. But that wasn't the end. They all stayed quiet afterward until Duchess Vasquez spoke up. She began talking about how her husband visited your office and saw Erneis' painting.”

The emperor groaned again, this time more loudly. He remained silent for a few seconds, in which the gears that were turning in his head were almost visible. “So, the empress was right about someone gossiping about the picture...” He paused shortly before looking back into his lover's eyes. “In summary, they addressed our relationship without saying something that they could be punished for, since they didn't lie or directly call you my lover.”

“Yes. Then the story with Lady Bellfaux happened. Only that I barely touched her, and while I should have been more careful, she didn't accept my apology. I got a little angry when she wanted to insult me and talked back to her, but I didn't say anything hurtful. At least until Lady Lemares also began making fun of me. I called her a liar, and then Her Majesty got involved. She made me apologize to Lady Bellfaux, which I did. But after that, Lady Lemares wanted an apology too. I didn't offend her, so I refused. The empress interpreted this as ignoring her orders and was overly harsh. At first, I tried to get her to listen to my side and told her to be fair, but that didn't calm her. In the end, she sent me away, and I left.”

Theodore shook his head slightly as his exhausted expression was replaced with an annoyed one. “Then she was the one who made the mistake. Should I make her apologize to you?”

Blanche was quick to prop herself up onto her arms and brought her face right in front of his. “What? No. You can't ask the empress to apologize to anyone with a lower rank unless she committed a major error. Especially not when a commoner is involved.”

Slowly, Theodore sat up and pulled her into an upright position as well. “You keep insisting that you aren't a noble, but you don't actually know that, right?”

The concubine raised an eyebrow before climbing onto her lover's lap. “If I was a noble, some member of that household would have recognized me by now. So, I'm pretty convinced that I'm a commoner.” Actually, she knew that for a fact. She might have lied about having amnesia, but her brain was very much intact.

The emperor smiled at her and hugged her tighter again. “As I said, I wouldn't mind that.”

Blanche returned the embrace and buried her face in his collar. She was so blessed to be with Theodore. Most nobles wrinkled their noses whenever people without an aristocratic background passed them while he allowed her to share his home and become his lover. Despite his good reputation due to his hard work for Artias' well-being, a big fraction of the nobles in the capital had questioned his sanity for this. Even though he hadn't admitted it, her presence by his side had already decreased the trust a part of his followers had in him.

She didn't wish to respond by bringing this up once more, but she couldn't just ignore it. “I'm glad that you don't. Most aristocrats would. They already are disdainful because I live with you.”

Her lover took this as his cue to pat her head and press a kiss onto her forehead. “It's ridiculous that they feel the need to comment on things that don't concern them or influence their lives in any way. Luckily, that has nothing to do with us.”

Blanche gave him a skeptical look. He couldn't be unaware of the influence that the nobles' opinions had on his reign. No matter how intelligent an emperor was and how many achievements he could present, he was dependent on aristocrats who were backing him. If he didn't have that support, he might lose his throne overnight and be replaced with a more favored relative. This hadn't happened for countless generations, and Theodore's family had been untouchable for the last decades, but that didn't mean that this couldn't change. “It has something to do with us. The rumors are damaging your reputation. The nobles fear that you have been manipulated by me and don't think clearly anymore.”

The emperor refuted that immediately. “Still, no one is doubting my ability to rule the country. That would be dangerous, but they haven't voiced anything like this yet. As long as that doesn't happen, it's fine. People have always been addicted to passing their time by talking about others, mostly those who are happier. They dismiss that happiness to distract themselves from the emptiness that they feel. So, they spend hours chatting about the smallest of things.”

Theodore turned his head to stare at the closed door, through which they had entered, while continuing. “This doesn't only hold true for nobles but also servants. Even though they are careful to stop their gossiping when they see me, I still overheard a few conversations about our relationship. And I only heard a little portion of the things that are said. Leon and Owen interact with the servants and knights more often, and the others are less cautious around them, so they have many stories to tell. For example, many wondered why I was eating with you and complained that I should spend my time with the empress instead.” His eyes focused on his lover again, and he took her hands in between his before he gently wiped away the frown that had just appeared on her face.

He hid it well, but the slight trembling of his voice betrayed his anger. “Even though they aren't involved in our relationship at all, they still have to have an opinion about everything. It's frustrating. Nonetheless, we are unable to change this. We have to live with their constant whispering behind our backs.” He paused to lock his eyes with hers. “But since their gossip will be there anyway, we don't have to pretend to be distant in front of them. I am so incredibly thankful for your efforts to protect my reputation, but I don't want you to push me away like this in the future. If you feel like others are watching us, please tell me instead of acting without giving me an explanation.”

Blanche nodded. “I promise that I won't do that again.” She was already brimming with guilt after seeing him cry and didn't intend on repeating her error anytime in the future.

Theodore put his arms around her and pulled her back into a lying position. His face was directly in front of hers now, with their noses nearly touching while her whispered to her. “I'm so glad that you talked to me. I was so scared that you would turn away from our relationship. I should have talked to you right at the start, but I dreaded confronting you. I thought that you might say that you don't want to stay with me anymore.” He couldn't know that she was trying to do the opposite right now.

Blanche hurried to reply to that the best she could. “I would never consider something like that in my wildest dreams. I can't imagine a life without you.” In the case that they broke up, her lover would have to have been the one to make that decision. And if he ever did, she might not even have a chance, or the will, to continue living afterward.

The emperor stroked over her head while responding. “Then we are both on the same page. I'll never want anyone but you.”

An unpleasant memory resurfaced in Blanche's mind. Apparently, she had grimaced at that thought since Theodore immediately noticed.

“Is something wrong?”

For a second, she stayed silent and tried to put her words into a sentence that didn't sound accusatory or overly jealous. Quickly, she discarded that idea since nothing seemed to work. After taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth. “I...uhm.” A part of her felt embarrassed of addressing this triviality just after Theodore had spent so much time assuring her of his devotion. However, the other half of her needed to hear his response, or she wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Still, forming a question was hard when her stomach felt like it was twisting and turning. She only gathered the courage to speak after her lover nodded and kept a hold on her with his piercing stare. “I noticed the tray on your desk. Were you drinking tea? Alone with the empress?”

Blanche regretted voicing this instantly. Even though they were her own words, they evoked tears that were pricking in her eyes and threatened to spill out at any moment. What kind of reply was she expecting? If Theodore denied it, he was obviously lying, which didn't help her at all. If he agreed, it would only prove her suspicions about the novel's development to be true.

Theodore was quiet for a couple of seconds before brushing the backside of his hand over her cheek and answering. “I was, but please let me explain. I didn't call her in my free time to have a chat or anything like that. This was a diplomatic attempt to evade problems in the future.” He paused to see whether he had Blanche's unrestricted attention before moving on. “Earlier, you said that the empress and I are similar, but that is only partly true. We're both stubborn, but we have differing opinions on many topics regarding our allies, enemies, Artias' economy and numerous other topics. Because of that, we have been unable to come to a compromise many times. This hasn't exactly made us friends...”

That was the same as in the novel. In fact, the main character's first interactions in the book consisted out of arguments, which usually stayed quiet civil unless the concubine was involved. Only in those cases, the discussions were prone to become more heated and even caused Seraphina to struggle to keep her composure. Yet, other arguments had appeared somewhat regularly as well and were often accompanied by freezing silence instead of a fiery conflict.

“Unfortunately...” Theodore continued with obvious annoyance in his voice. “That also increases the chances that we'll be unwilling to budge from our stance when we are taking care of almost everything. This naturally makes it harder to find a satisfactory solution. Of course, I could simply ignore her opinion, but I don't believe that disregarding the empress' political power would be a smart choice. Two weeks ago, we had a conversation in which we were trying to understand each other more, and I had an idea. If we had more of an insight into the other party, maybe we'd fight less. So, I was trying to improve our relationship a little bit while hoping that we would have an easier time working together after that. For this reason and nothing else, I invited her to drink tea with me. Though currently, I don't believe that I wish to see her anytime soon.” As he spoke the last sentence, his expression darkened. He didn't add any explanation, but it was clear that he was still upset about the events at the tea party.

Blanche, however, couldn't focus on that. Her mind was occupied with recalling the scene in the office. “Theo, there is something else I would like to ask.”

Her lover responded without hesitation. “Go ahead.”

“You made Owen leave the room so that you could have a private conversation with the empress, right?”

Theodore nodded and replied in a gentle tone to ease her worries. “Yes. It would be disrespectful if I made her dismiss her servants and then let my personal knight stay inside. Even though Owen is there often when I deal with confidential information, I'm officially not allowed to share them with anyone except for the empress, Leon and sometimes the ministers. So, talking to her about that while he is there would be problematic.”

Blanche had guessed that something like this was the logical explanation. Before, the doubts that were created by her jealousy had implied that the emperor just wanted to be alone with Seraphina, and these fears had definitely outweighed her rational thoughts. Now she tried to see this objectively. But even though this reasoning made sense, it arose another question in her. “If you wanted to speak with her without anyone eavesdropping, why did Owen not ask me to come back later? He knew that the empress was inside but interrupted you anyway. And even more importantly, why did you let me in? From the very start, it should have been obvious that me showing up would destroy your chances of having a pleasant conversation with the empress.”

Theodore showed her a small smile as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “That is because I told him to inform me of your arrival, no matter what. During a meeting with the ministers, the empress or anyone else, it doesn't matter. I instructed him to ask you whether this is about an urgent matter, even when I can't take a break. In the case that it was urgent, I would stop whatever I was doing to take care of you. I have to admit that I went pretty far with that since the ministers would probably feel offended for the next few centuries. But I was very worried about you during the past weeks, so seeing you had priority. And the talk with the empress wasn't such an important or highly political discussion, so I have no qualms about interrupting it at all. It should be obvious, but I would never make you wait for her. The one time I did do that I had no control over it, and I still feel guilty to this day.” He paused for a moment, in which his dejected expression turned into a furious one. “This is why I'm definitely not going to let the responsible person get away with that.”

Now that he said that, Blanche remembered the incident during which someone had tampered with Theodore's clock too. “I almost forgot about that. Have you found some evidence in the past few days?”

Theodore's anger disappeared as quickly as it had come and left frustration behind. He let his head hit the cushion and groaned. “No, there was nothing. Not a single clue. And believe me, I had people search for one. The only progress we made is a list with all the people that had a chance to enter the office on their own. Though, since it includes about a dozen of the higher-ranked servant, it won't help much. It's also embarrassing that one of the people I trust the most would tamper with my belongings just for fun. Maybe I will have to investigate all of them in the near future to sort out those who aren't as loyal as I expect them to be.”

Blanche lifted her hand to his face and carefully tangled her fingers into his hair. “But it wouldn't be good to punish the servants who aren't involved either. So, you shouldn't be too harsh in your judgment.”

“I won't treat innocent people unfairly. But first, I have to make sure that they aren't connected to any schemes and oppose me secretly. The traitors hiding between the inner walls of your home are the most dangerous ones, so you have to get rid of them before they become a serious threat. I'll make sure to ask Leon to check whether they might have lost their obedience to the Estien family thoroughly.” While Theodore spoke, any sign of playfulness faded from his expression.

Blanche felt a pang of guilt rushing through her body upon seeing how much these words meant to him. She herself was actually a traitor if one regarded her major role in Marquess Sefare's plan to get the royal couple to divorce and harm the emperor. Just because she hadn't been aware of the full extent of this plot, that didn't mean that she wasn't a tool that was supposed to be used against Theodore and even murder him. To disguise her uncertainty about this topic, she hurried to move the conversation along, but in the end, she couldn't bring herself to change the subject.

Her lover was so cautious in this matter, which wasn't unusual for the ruler of a country. But going so far as to distrust all of his servants, who had attended him for years, because one of them changed the time on a clock stroke her as odd. Surely, that person deserved to lose their position for risking that the emperor missed important meetings for a joke. Still, the others didn't have anything to do with that. Why would they be suspected of betraying the royal family?

Blanche spoke up about that while trying to be somewhat careful. “I know I don't have any experience in that field, but aren't you, well, exaggerating a little? I was the only one affected by that hoax, so it would be fine to just find the person who did it, dismiss them and forget about the incident.”

Theodore's response followed immediately. “That you were affected is bad enough, but this about far more than just a servant playing a prank on me. This showed that a member of the staff has lost their respect for me. If I don't punish this accordingly, others will follow that example and undermine my authority. In the worst case, it might not even be a joke but an attempt to disrupt my schedule and prevent me from doing my work by an outsider, who used this servant. That is a greater danger than most people notice, and my...”

The emperor stopped in the middle of the sentence. For a moment, he only looked at her without changing his expression before opening his mouth again. “My father never considered that his followers could turn their back on him someday.” He paused and observed his lover's reaction.

Blanche was holding her breath and didn't dare to move. Theodore barely talked about his father, and when he did, it consisted out of vague comments about the accomplishments of the previous ruler. This was the first time that he had brought the deceased emperor up on his own, and given the fact that he was opening up about a topic that made him so vulnerable, she wouldn't let out a single noise that could interrupt him.

A couple of seconds had passed in silence before Theodore continued while staring into the distance. “Father trusted his servants wholeheartedly, even the people that his wife brought in. This was his biggest mistake. Even though he was stricter than I am, he didn't believe it to be necessary to regularly confirm the loyalty of the palace's inhabitants. He hasn't done that for his entire reign, at least I don't remember him ever thinking about that. His negligence led to rather unpleasant incidents from my early childhood up until the day of his death. No, actually it caused problems for the next years too. I had to weed out all the traitorous, corrupt and unreliable people, and it took forever to do that since they had taken root throughout every part of the palace.”

Theodore closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed before he added the rest. “But I somehow managed to finish. This showed me that neglecting to clear out the palace sooner will only endanger our safety and leave chaos to the following generations. I don't want our children to grow up in fear of being targeted by our family's enemies like I did. I would rather exaggerate than constantly fear that there are people in the estate who want to hurt those I love.”

The response Blanche had laid out was wiped off her tongue by his words. “Targeted? What happened?” The moment that the question had left her mouth, she regretted it already.

Even after over a year by his side, she knew as much of Theodore's childhood as he did of hers, almost nothing. He had never admitted it, but it was obvious that he disliked talking about that part of his life, so he avoided mentioning it or answered with a generalized remark. If Theodore hadn't elaborated more, it was because he wasn't comfortable sharing the whole story with her, and pushing him to leave his comfort zone was the last thing she wanted to do.

So, she hurried to correct herself. “You don't have to tell me! It's completely fine if you-”

Theodore stopped her by squeezing her waist. “I don't mind telling you. Though there isn't really much to explain. When I was young, there was a time during which I frequently faced kidnapping and assassination attempts. They were all unsuccessful, but it was an unpleasant experience nonetheless. I still don't know who was responsible, but I have an assumption that is very likely to be true. The only positive aspect is that it warned me to be more careful.”

Blanche's eyes widened in shock. How hadn't she ever guessed that he lived through such a traumatic experience? This was the reason why he didn't talk about his childhood and why he was so overly cautious now. She should have made that connection sooner. “That is-” Her voice broke, so she cut herself off to start again. “That is terrible. I can't imagine how that must have been. I'm so sorry that you were forced to experience something like this.”

“You don't need to worry about that. Since this happened so many years ago, I barely remember it. It's alright now.” Theodore put on a small smile that wouldn't fool anyone. It seemed like he wasn't only lying to his lover to calm her, but also to convince himself. Still, the vacant stare that passed right through her betrayed him.

It was no wonder that he hadn't told Seraphina about this in the novel when he was struggling to process the disturbances of his childhood and suffered when he refreshed the memories. That even the perfect heroine hadn't gained enough of his trust to get him to speak about it, while he had opened up to Blanche on his own free will, warmed the concubine's heart. Unfortunately, this feeling was accompanied by her worrying about her lover's mental health. Keeping all of this inside him with no way to vent had to have been painful.

The emperor seemed to have read her thoughts off her expression since he smiled and tried to seem a bit livelier. “Like I said, it only made me realize where the gaps in the palace's security were. The royal estate is now safer than it ever was.” That didn't make it impossible to sneak into though.

The passage through the wall was just one of the ways that people could use to enter and leave in secret. Currently, only Blanche and Seraphina should know about it, but there were other possibilities as well. The book described one incident in which one of the heroine's maids poisoned her mistress' food, and Blanche had brought a toxic substance into the palace near the finale too. This meant that smuggling dangerous objects inside wasn't out of the question, especially not if one could use the name of the empress or emperor.

Naturally, Theodore didn't know about these gaps in the palace's defense, or he would have closed off those immediately. He wasn't even thinking much about what he had said a moment ago and simply resumed. “Consequently, our children won't have to worry about being attacked or threatened by anyone. I will make sure of that.” His words banned all thoughts about the previous subject from the back of Blanche's mind and filled her head with a different issue.

Before she could control herself, her muscles tensed.

With her lover hugging her, there was no way that he wouldn't notice. “Did I say something wrong?”

She shook her head. “No...” Images of the tea part appeared before her inner eye and let the doubts from back then resurface. She couldn't know for sure whether she would be able to get pregnant at all. Blanche and her lover had been sharing a bed for over a year, and nothing had happened. Her character hadn't been written to have children in the first place, so was she even capable of giving birth?

Unsurprisingly, Theodore picked up on her worry. He tried to read her emotions off her face as he asked again. “Did you remember something?”

Blanche was ready to deny that something bothered her but froze after opening her mouth. Just minutes ago, they had demolished the wall of lies that she had built between them, and she was already beginning to create a second one.

She still wasn't completely honest with her lover, for which she felt guilty, but she had no choice. No one would believe the story about the novel unless they experienced it themselves, and making him fear that she had become insane wouldn't help either of them. However, while hiding that was necessary, keeping quiet now didn't serve any purpose except for trying to avoid worrying Theodore, and refusing to answer would cause him to feel worse than that. It was better to speak now.

Hesitatingly, Blanche began to explain why she was unwell. “Uhm, you want to have children later, no matter what, right?”

This took Theodore by surprise, which he showed on his face as well. “We talked about that multiple times, and we both said that we did. Why?”

She remained silent to find the words to express her feelings without becoming too emotional. She realized that she would fail only after a few seconds. The damned tears had already begun to form in her eyes, which only scared Theodore.

He propped himself up and moved closer to her. “Blanche?”

She pulled him closer before pressing out the one question that could prevent her from having the family she always wished for. “What if I'm not able to get pregnant?”

Her lover immediately sat up with shock being painted on his expression. “Why are you thinking about that? There is no reason to believe that you couldn't!” He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a crushing hug.

Quickly, she dug her fingers into the fabric of his clothes and buried her face in his neck. She wanted to stay like this, close to him in silence, but she couldn't end the conversation here. She needed to get this off her mind, or she would be upset any time someone mentioned babies. “We have been together for over seventeen months, and still, I haven't shown a single sign of pregnancy. I don't know why else it shouldn't have happened by now.”

“Blanche, you're only...” Theodore paused. “We don't know how old you are exactly. But you said that you think that you are twenty-two. We, especially you, are extremely young. We don't have to worry about having a child at this point in time. That will come in the future without us having to feel pressured.” He moved away to cup her chin and looked into her eyes to emphasize how serious he was.

She wished that this statement was enough to calm her, but it wasn't. “Age doesn't change much. There are countless nobles ladies who give birth in an even earlier age.”

The emperor quickly refuted her objection. “That doesn't mean that it's healthy. Most marriages are decided for the sole reason of having an heir, so they don't focus on anything else and ignore that the spouses are way too young. Neither their bodies nor their minds are fully developed if they end up in an arranged marriage before they are even considered adults. After their coming of age when they are sixteen years old, they can legally be married, but I am convinced that that is not desirable in the slightest.”

Maybe that was why he hadn't allowed having the wedding ceremony until Seraphina was twenty-four, which was a very unusual approach. The empress had been his fiancée from their early childhood onwards, and waiting for almost a decade after they were allowed to marry was unthinkable for most aristocrats. Most nobles were of the conviction that children should find a partner as soon as humanly possible to secure the birth of heirs and make connections with other influential households. It was surprising that Duke and Duchess Duremont had agreed with the emperor's plan and hadn't demanded compensation or the dissolve of the engagement.

Theodore looked right at his lover as he continued. “We still have numerous years to have children, so we don't have to rush anything. We'll live our lives as happily as we can, and when it's time, our children will grow up in a safe environment full of love. You don't need to stress yourself with such thoughts. Everything will be fine in the end.” Theodore finished his speech with the intention of easing her worries, but it had the opposite effect. He had only made her aware of another problem.

Would everything really be alright after they had children, or wouldn't even more issues arise? Blanche was almost sure that there would be another big problem.