Blanche hadn't even thought about where she would go after storming out of the office. Now that became painfully obvious as she just rushed down the hallway.

“Blanche, wait!”

Did Theodore's voice sound closer now, or had she just imagined it? But in the end, that didn't matter since she continued to run through the hallways aimlessly. Somewhere, there had to be an unused room where she could sit down and sob without bothering anyone. However, to find such a room, she would have to stop and try opening the doors to see whether they were unlocked. That was impossible when her mind screamed at her to get as far away from other people as she could.

“Blanche!”

She heard her name again, and this time, she was sure that it had come from right behind her. Was Theodore really following her? Before Blanche could attempt to flee down the staircase, a hand grabbed her and pulled her back. Her body was whirled around, and a hazy image of Theodore appeared in front of her.

“Don't run away from me, Blanche!” He caught her other wrist as well and held them tightly, but still with great care not to hurt her, next to her shoulders.

The concubine let her head fell forward and stopped moving completely. She didn't want her lover to see her like that. Not after the numerous times that he had consoled her in the last weeks. If she continued to cry this often in front of him, he might become as frustrated with it as she was, and annoyance was the last thing she wanted him to gaze at her with.

“Why did you storm out like that?” Theodore sounded both shocked and desperate at the same time, which created a mix of emotions that inevitably hurt when she heard it.

For a moment, Blanche tried to hold back, she really did. But then she looked up at Theodore's eyes, which were cloudy with worry. The words began flowing out of her before she could stop herself. “It's unfair! I didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't my fault that others talked about us. They made her angry, but she still took it out on me! And you agreed with her without listening to me at all! Why is she always right, only because she is-” The heroine.

The perfect, wonderful heroine that was loved by all while everyone else was left to rot.

Blanche gritted her teeth to choke down all the remarks about the novel's terrible treatment of the villainess, which allowed a sob to come out instead. She tried to wrench her arms from her lover to hide her expression, but Theodore fastened his grip around her wrists.

He insisted on facing her directly, even though he also didn't manage to stay composed. “I never agreed with her at all! If you explained your version while she was there, the conversation would have gone in circles! I was about to ask her to leave so that we could talk about this in private. Lady Lemares was involved, so I would never dream of blaming you for refusing to apologize to that witch! I only wanted to keep the empress out of this because she would start an argument if she heard this.”

Blanche froze and searched his face for a sign that indicated that he was just lying to calm her, but she didn't find anything. “You don't believe that I ruined the tea party on purpose?”

“What? No, of course not! You'd never do something like that.”

The tension in Blanche's muscles faded, but the murmuring in her head only grew louder. If Theodore really had intended to drop the subject just to avoid a fight, then he hadn't necessarily taken Seraphina's side. Her eyes wandered over his expression to pick up any hints of insincerity as she questioned him in a hoarse voice. “And you don't agree with her sending me away?”

Theodore slowly guided her hands downwards without loosening his hold. “No, I don't. She was overreacting in that situation. I didn't say anything because I thought that you didn't mind it. After all, you didn't tell me anything about this fight. So, I assumed that you forgot it already and just nodded at the empress to pacify her. If I had known that she hurt you this much, I definitely would not have let this go.”

As Blanche registered his words, shame rose up in her, and she hung her head to avoid meeting his eyes. She had interpreted his words in the opposite way of what he had actually meant to say. If he truly hadn't doubted her, hadn't she just caused a scene for nothing? He had just been trying to be diplomatic and bypass the conflict, only for her to break down into a sobbing mess because she had pondered over it too much. But she couldn't help it. When she thought about the novel and how her lover had acted then, her mind never even considered other options. “That's... I thought...” She had already pictured him abandoning her and ordering the execution simply because the heroine told him to.

Of course Theodore couldn't know this, which only made it a hundred times worse when he resumed with that pained voice. “Blanche, I have never allowed her to punish you. Why would I suddenly change my mind?”

Telling him that the novel predicted that he would do much worse things than that didn't seem like a good idea. The concubine kept her eyes trained onto the ground and refused to look at her lover. He would be disappointed again, just like when she had admitted to being jealous of Seraphina. She didn't wish to hurt him by doubting his love over and over again, but how could she not when this damned novel controlled their future? She remembered exactly how the villainess would be discarded in less than a year and how that would feel like.

Theodore let go of one of her hands and cupped her chin to push it upwards. “Look at me, please.”

She didn't have the strength left to fight. She complied and stared right into his eyes, which made her want to turn away. His face was so close in front of her that she could spot all the swirls of blue in his irises and felt his breath on her skin. Looking at him reminded her of how much she loved him but also of the fact that he might not gaze at her like this much longer.

Theodore maintained eye contact for a short moment before he began. “I'm sorry for making you misunderstand my position and upsetting you. But this isn't just about the tea party, is it? There is much more to this.” He spoke so quietly that it seemed like he feared frightening her. “I can see that something has been burdening you for a few weeks, and you have cried multiple times because of it. Still, you never told me the complete truth. We'll go to my room now and-”

A motion behind him directed Blanche's attention away from him.

Two men had rounded the corner and stood a couple of steps away from them as they observed the lovers' interaction. They were both ministers, but not just that. Blanche recognized one of them as Marquess Bellfaux, the best friend of Duke Duremont, the man that was like an uncle to Seraphina. The marquess watched them with his obvious discontent painted onto his face. Next to him, the other aristocrat stared at them with an expression that was softer than the one of his colleague but still showed that he disapproved of what he saw.

If only one of the spectators spread the rumor that the emperor was cuddling with his concubine in front of the ministers, it would only be a matter of a few days until everyone knew. Not only Blanche would have problems because of that. Surely, she would be forced to endure more situations like the one at the tea party, but this would also damage the empress' reputation.

Should Seraphina's father not have heard about what happened from gossipy nobles, these two men were definitely going to tell him. Duke Duremont would be blinded by rage upon finding out that Theodore had basically shown his affair to the ministers. He was already furious at the emperor now, but this would give him a reason to begin a huge fight.

Theodore couldn't risk losing his most important supporter. Much like Blanche couldn't risk decreasing her chances of survival because the nobles viewed her as a villainess, who was destroying a marriage. They had to make up for this before trouble arose.

Blanche tried to step away from her lover, but he didn't allow her to. She increased her attempts to get his hand off her face, and her gaze snapped back to him. “You have to let go of me.”

The glimmer of hurt in Theodore's eyes almost made her stop.

That let Blanche understand that this wouldn't do. She had to explain herself before he would mistake her struggling for her being unwilling to talk to him. “They're watching us.”

Theodore's hold on her didn't budge as he jolted his head to the side to identify the two people. Then he turned back and closed the distance between him and his concubine. “Ignore them.” He had spoken loud enough for the ministers to hear him, which proved to be a mistake.

The marquess' face scrunched up, and he approached the couple as his body shook with anger. Judging by the book's description, there was no way that he would accept that the husband of his dear Seraphina cheated in front of him. “Your Majesty.” The man's voice was too cold to sound polite, but still, the emperor couldn't avoid greeting him.

At least Blanche thought that he couldn't, but Theodore snapped at the marquess without looking at him. “As you can see, I am unavailable right now. Come back later.”

Marquess Bellfaux clenched his jaw so hard that it seemed like he wouldn't be able to control his emotions. He bargained with himself for a few seconds and then continued. “Your Majesty. This is urgent.” This time, his voice had an even sharper edge to it.

Nonetheless, the emperor didn't give in. He turned to face the marquess with anger bubbling behind his stoic facade. “Did you perhaps not hear me? Not now. You have no permission to be here at the moment. Leave.” His command should have been intimidating enough to get the other party to be silent, but the other man opened his mouth again.

Why was that marquess this reckless and repeatedly antagonized the ruler of Artias? If they exchanged more words in such a heated state, they would start a serious fight. Discord between a minister and his superior wasn't just a trifle. It could ruin their relationship and hinder their future collaborations. In the case that working together became impossible, the minister would have to give up their position, on their own will or even on the emperor's order. Looking at how they both struggled to hold themselves back from exploding, this wasn't unlikely.

But would Theodore really lose his composure at the other's persistence? He normally didn't react as rashly as he did right now. He was only this emotional because Blanche had worried him before. It would be her fault if they started arguing now.

Blanche couldn't risk letting him have a fall-out with a noble that was Duke Duremont's closest friend because she had troubled him by overreacting. “Theo, you-” Her thoughtless attempt to interrupt them caused the marquess to narrow his eyes at her. For a moment, she believed that he had been upset that she spoke up, but she then realized how she had addressed her lover. Hinting at their close relationship would probably make the minister even angrier than he already was. She had planned to be more subtle and refrain from using her lover's nickname in public. It seemed like she would need to begin doing that now while correcting her mistake. She had to address Theodore properly, even if she didn't wish to say this. “I mean, YourMajesty-”

The words felt wrong on her tongue. It was like her whole body was reluctant to address her lover so distantly. It was the first time that she had used this phrase for him, and she hated it. But she didn't have much time to think about that as she did not get much farther.

Theodore's gaze shot back to her instantly, and his grip on her wrist tightened. “What did you say?” She only considered that Theodore might be taken aback by her changing the way she called him without a warning now.

But it was too late.

His voice sounded so scared that it pained her to hear it even for a couple of seconds. Blanche was speechless despite her desperate need to reply. Before she could open her mouth, the emperor spun around and pulled her in his direction.

Theodore didn't even turn to the ministers as he addressed them. “Please, excuse us.” Then he dragged his lover away from them despite her protests.

“You can't just leave them there! They'll get mad if you don't welcome them! They'll definitely feel offended and cause problems later.” Blanche tried to explain that as well as she could while being unable to calm the hazy whirlwind in her mind.

She received no response.

Theodore only continued moving through the hallway towards the third floor. Much like he ignored her doubtful remarks, he didn't pay attention to the servants they passed.

All of the staff members stared at the scene that played out in front of him, many with curiosity or worry in their eyes. Naturally, no one stopped the emperor. Even the empress' maids only stepped out of his way and watched in silence.

When Theodore reached his chambers, the knights that guarded the entrance almost jumped to the side to let him in. He swung open the door so quickly that it slammed against the wall and shut it with the same amount of force.

The loud sound echoed through the room, which made Blanche flinch. Before she could realize what happened, her lover had already turned around and pulled her closer to him. His arms seized her waist in a tight grip that didn't let her any chance to free herself, even if she had tried to. In reality, she had stopped fighting him a while ago and just held still in his embrace. She looked up at her lover's face and felt a pang in her heart at seeing his pained expression.

“Why did you call me that?” Theodore's question was voiced in a tone that was dripping with hurt, which only served to make her resent herself even more for her impulsive decision.

“I'm sorry, I-”

Theodore interrupted her sentence before she had been able to apologize properly. “Why did you call me-” His voice broke before he finished his sentence. His eyes were glassy with tears, which she hadn't noticed until now, and he closed them to keep his emotions under his control despite already having failed.

The pit of bitter regret in Blanche's stomach grew, and by now, it almost made her want to throw up. Her unthoughtful reaction had been the one with the worst possible consequences once again. Even though she only intended to do what was best for the two of them, she ended up hurting the person that she loved more than anything.

It took a few seconds before Theodore had calmed himself enough to open his eyes and look right into hers. “Why?”

She couldn't stand seeing the pain that she had caused on his face, so she evaded his gaze again.

“Blanche.” His voice was hoarse and filled with despair, which made her force herself to raise her head.

“I didn't mean to, but they were listening to us. You saw how upset that man was, only because you hugged me! When I addressed you with your nickname, he got even angrier, so I...” Under her lover's uninterrupted gaze, Blanche could barely find the words that expressed her intention properly. She swallowed to stall for time and stuttered a bit before continuing. “I panicked. He is very close to the empress' father. So, I thought that we don't need him to remind Duke Duremont...of us.”

Theodore shook his head at her statement and kept his eyes locked with hers. “Do you really believe that he is that dense? He already knows.”

“Yes, of course. But you can't afford to lose his benevolence. So, we can't overdo it. We can't let anyone use our relationship as an instrument to harm the empress' reputation, or her father will definitely stop backing you. There are enough rumors already. This is why maybe...” She paused to scan the emperor's reaction.

He was listening observantly, but his face showed that he knew that he wouldn't like what came next. This proved that she needed to support her suggestion with logical arguments, or he wouldn't even consider it for one second.

In an attempt to get him to let her explain her whole reasoning, Blanche stroked over his back and spoke in a soft voice. “Maybe I should begin calling you-”

Despite her endeavors, Theodore didn't even allow her to finish her first sentence. “No way.” Before she could say anything else, he had buried his face in her neck and strengthened the hold on her waist.

She felt his shaky breath against her skin, which made her want to give in immediately and apologize for even bringing this up. But she hadn't proposed this to hurt him. As soon as he heard her explanation, he would agree with her too. After all, his political power was endangered if they continued to act careless and angered Duke Duremont. “Please listen to me. You are well aware of how dependent you are on the empress' father. His backing is already hanging by a thread. By doing this, I only want to protect you. You understand that, right? So, please, consider-”

“No.” Theodore cut her off again, this time with a much steadier voice. Was he really not going to give this a second thought? Why was the emperor who normally was cautious with everything that was connected with the capital's political balance still resisting her attempt to get him to be rational?

But what was even worse than was that Blanche contentiously became more uncertain. She was unsure whether her plea was going too far. She had addressed Theodore with his nickname for nearly all the time that had known each other. Changing this so suddenly wouldn't erase the nobles' memories, but it would rather make them even more aware of it. Still, her goal was to end the gossip about the emperor's affair for his sake and her own. She had to do something, right? “It will only be in public.”

Theodore didn't give her a chance to continue. He jerked his head away from her shoulder and met her eyes. “I don't want to hear you call me that ever again!” He was yelling, but his voice was filled with anguish, which caused it to lack the usual intimidating edge when he was furious.

Still, Blanche almost jumped away at his outbreak and was only stopped by his arms, which kept her in an iron-like hug. She had never seen him like this except for in her nightmares. He was barely holding himself together, and all of this was her fault. At this point, he was crying as much as she was, which made her feel like someone had kicked her stomach. All thoughts of actually going through with calling him by his royal title were pushed far away, and she only focused on him. “Theo...” She was unable to say more than that but carefully placed her hand on his cheek.

He leaned into her touch and stayed silent for a while. After taking a few deep breaths, he was composed enough to resume talking. This time, he was speaking with a hoarse voice in a much quieter volume. However, instead of calming her, it only served to reveal how much this situation affected him. “You've been trying to push me away so often already. Don't start to do it through your words too. I won't be able to endure that.”

Blanche's heart stopped beating for a moment. She couldn't remember ever having heard him sounding so broken. “I'm not pushing you away!” She almost yelled that, only for him to reply with the same aggravation.

“You are!” He paused to breathe in and out to regain his composure. That didn't fully work out, but he managed to continue in a somewhat calm tone, which might have been convincing if his voice didn't tremble as much. “Ever since that one day two months ago, the day that you had that dream...” He spat out this word with nothing but pure resentment. “On that day, you changed completely. Since then, you started lying to me and keeping secrets. You began distancing yourself from me. And I was enough of an idiot to believe that this was only a phase that would pass quickly. I should have stopped it right after the first time you cried, but I thought that you would return to your carefree self again after a couple of days.”

His face darkened as he resumed. “You didn't. I'm not going to keep watching as you hide away from me. It was my fault for not putting an end to this earlier, and I won't repeat that error today. If I did something wrong, I will apologize as often as you want me to, and I'll move heaven and earth to eliminate everything that cornered you like this. But I can't do that if you don't tell me what happened. I will not let this go, not this time.”

Panic surged through Blanche's veins upon hearing his words. He had noticed from the very beginning. She should have expected that he would realize that her whole view of the world had been changed overnight. Still, she had desperately clung to the hope that he hadn't noticed the whole extent of her turnaround. But he had, which meant that he had worried about her for two months, in which she had only been concerned with herself and her own survival. In those weeks, he had silently suffered and blamed himself for her inability to pay attention to his emotional state. She couldn't leave him in the belief that he was at fault for anything that happened, so she needed to give him an answer.

But how was she supposed to respond?

No matter how much it pained Blanche, she couldn't tell Theodore the truth. A novel that predicted the future? That seemed like another excuse, maybe the most unbelievable one of all of them. Still, lying to her lover again felt like betraying him after he had opened up about his doubts. She probably couldn't even lie since that would require him to be fooled by her disappointing acting skills, which was a more than questionable outcome. Both options were terrible.

A part of her wanted to flee from this situation to avoid choosing, but she couldn't. Running away from Theodore was neither physically nor psychologically possible or desirable to her. She had to reply somehow, but she needed more time to lay out her answer. Even though it caused a hollow ache in her chest, Blanche voiced a small lie to get him to talk more. “I didn't change that much, I really didn't.”

The emperor let out a dry laugh that was nowhere near an expression of happiness. His eyes were wide open but lacked any sign of joy, which left behind a sea of hopelessness. “You didn't? You can repeat that an infinite amount of times, but that won't make it true, and you know it. In these two months, I worked so much that I barely saw you aside from the meals, and still, without thinking about it twice, I can list so many things you now do that you didn't do before. You always cried often but never like this. I used to hug you and give you a present, and then everything was forgotten. Now you sob so loudly that I fear that you'll suffocate, and no matter how long I console you, it feels like the problems never disappear.”

“That isn't-” She cut off her own attempt at denying the things he said after seeing that he hadn't even finished.

“Not only that. Even when you aren't crying, you're always on the edge like you are scared of some invisible threat. You behave as if the future holds nothing but grief for you, and when I promise to stay with you, you don't believe me. You are so careful with every single one of our actions, which makes me think that you see dangers everywhere. There are even moments in which it seems like you fear me.” This might have been the case after her nightmares, in which Theodore had appeared as a resentful version of himself that wished for Blanche's death.

She opened her mouth to object, but nothing to refute his words came to her mind, so she closed it again.

Theodore resumed his speech without hesitating and only interrupted himself whenever his voice gave in for a short moment before clearing his throat and continuing. “Sometimes, you change back into the person I knew. You stop looking at me with doubt, your fake smile turns into a real one, and you hug me as if I'm going to disappear. Then someone else interrupts or some time passes, and within a second, you retreat into your shell without giving me a chance to help you out of it. Just like you did now! Why do you suddenly care for the empress' honor and Duke Duremont? You never did. In fact, you would have been ecstatic if I showered you with affection in public. Now you overthink everything and wonder what others will say about that.”

The words flowed out of his mouth until he realized how fast he was talking. He exhaled deeply and forced himself to go on at a slower pace. “You even began to bow down to the empress, which you would have considered a worse fate than death in the past. But you don't just treat her with respect, you act like you are scared of talking back to her. I was always on your side, so why wouldn't I protect you no matter what she did? Still, you thought that I would agree with her unnecessarily punishing you. You were so sure that you didn't even tell me about it or speak up about her unfairness. So, after I listed all of this, do you still believe that you haven't changed?”

It was true that Blanche had changed, much like her whole view on her life. But without mentioning the novel, explaining this was plainly impossible.