《The Emperor's Concubine》Chapter 9: Difference
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It seemed that Blanche was fortunate enough today.
The women didn't encounter anyone on their way except for the royal guards that were patrolling the corridors. Seeing the men's uniform made Blanche shudder when she thought back to her nightmare, so she avoided looking at them.
Once she reached the terrace, she scanned her environment for a place that matched the novel's description of the hole. She was almost sure that the passageway had been hidden behind a tree and bushes, so she would just have to search the walls that were covered with plants while also being close to a tree.
She began to walk along the edges of the royal estate and quickly realized that it would take a while to circle around the huge property. Normally, the passageway would be incredibly hard to find due to the sheer length of the wall, but luckily, there was one thing that made it a bit easier to find. While there were many bushes everywhere, there were barely any trees near the walls. When there was one tree, there weren't any hedges surrounding it. In the end, only one place matched the book's narrative.
When she found that place, her heart began to beat faster. Of course, locating the escape route for emergencies was crucial, but Blanche was also curious to see how the hole and the outside looked. It had been over a year since she had left the royal estate. It would be a lie to say that she wasn't excited at the prospect of visiting the capital on her own even if she didn't wish to live there.
Still, she couldn't search for the passageway just yet. While looking around she had realized that Stella was watching her every move.
The maid was loyal to her and a really kind person, but she was also extremely honest and cautious. Stella would worry about her mistress' safety, especially after the incident this morning, and would immediately report the existence of a secret passageway into the palace to a guard. Not only because she feared that Blanche would get hurt outside but also because of the danger of intruders using it. Stella couldn't know that no one except for Seraphina had ever found the hole in the novel, and thus, her reasoning made sense. There was a problem though. If Stella told anyone, the passage would be guarded by the knights and eventually be closed.
Blanche couldn't risk the loss of her only escape route. That meant that the maid couldn't notice the hole. Since the concubine only intended to take a short look at it today, a distraction should be enough to allow her to inspect the passageway. She turned to her servant and folded her hands while trying to look as pleading as possible. “Stella, I'm really thirsty. Could you please get me some water?”
The maid frowned and seemed reluctant to follow her mistress' order for the first time. “My Lady, wouldn't it be safer if we go together? Because of what happened this morning, I'm not sure whether...” She didn't finish her sentence, but the meaning was clear. Stella's consideration was normally touching, however, Blanche needed to get her to leave for a few minutes.
“I'm fine now though. I just need something to drink, but I don't want to go back already. Can you quickly fetch me a cup of water and then come back? You don't need to worry. I will wait right here.”
Stella still didn't appear to be happy to let her mistress stay alone in the garden. Nonetheless, she reluctantly agreed and promised to return quickly before hurrying towards the building.
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For a few seconds, Blanche stood at the same spot until she couldn't see her maid anymore. She waited a moment longer and took a deep breath before executing her plan. Then she spun around and stormed into the bushes. She was careful not to trip and lifted her dress a little as she climbed through the knee-high hedges. When she finally reached the wall, she crouched down and let her hands roam across the stones to feel for any cracks. She didn't find a hole behind the first bush and moved on to the second one, only to remain unsuccessful this time too. With a sigh, she stepped to the third bush and bowed down again.
But the gods really weren't on her side today.
“What exactly are you doing there?”
A voice made Blanche spin around, just when she had started to search behind the thirds bush. A young man stood on the path, only a few steps away from her, and stared at her with obvious suspicion in his gaze.
Blanche quickly straightened her posture and tried to step over the bushes as gracefully as possible while she used the same way she had come from. When she reached the tiled path again, she made a small curtsy and inwardly rolled her eyes. Her luck always made her run into the people she didn't look forward to meeting. In the past, she had had a few confrontations with this man. Those had always arisen when he had defended his sister, her worst enemy.
Allen Duremont was the future duke of his family, as well as Seraphina and Sophia's elder brother. His appearance matched the novel's description perfectly. His icy blue eyes and golden hair were quite noticeable and didn't let anyone doubt that he was related to the empress.
In the novel, Allen had been an important supporting character that mainly existed to help his sister. He always protected Seraphina from any dangers and defended her honor when rumors spread or when the villainess had voiced a provoking comment. Near the second half of the story, he had often investigated the people that opposed the empress and the perpetrators behind intrigues against her. He had then brought this information to Seraphina, and thus, aided her in overthrowing and ruining her enemies. He had always acted on all of his sister's wishes and carried out her orders without questioning them.
In other words, he was a spineless coward.
Blanche thought that and was immediately confused because of her own anger. What was she thinking? Allen was rather confident. Even without the book's knowledge, Blanche remembered enough about him to be sure of that. She had had unpleasant arguments with him at social events on multiple occasions since he had always helped Seraphina when the concubine had caused trouble. He certainly wasn't cowardly. In reality, this man wasn't afraid to show that he didn't have a favorable impression of her. Just like he did it now.
Allen ignored her curtsy and made no notion to answer or bow his head in return. Instead, he just stared at her with an annoyed expression which almost made her wince. For a while, they just looked at each other before he repeated his question. “What were you doing there?” It seemed like he didn't care much for formalities.
In that case, Blanche wouldn't either. She dropped her skirt and lifted her head without greeting him. Now she needed an excuse that would seem believable though. She didn't want to embarrass her even more. “I.... I...lost something.” She had just said something completely random, but this actually worked out quite well. She regained a little of her confidence and replied properly. “Yes, I lost something while taking a walk, and I was searching for it. But since I couldn't find it, I will call a servant to retrieve it for me. What leads you into the royal garden, Lord Duremont?” She tried to change the topic as fast as she could and seemingly succeeded.
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At least he didn't ignore her anymore, but Allen was still as annoyed as before. “I came to visit Her Majesty.”
That was to be expected, but his sister wasn't outside as far as Blanche had seen. She had looked over every part of the property, and there weren't many people here except for her and a few royal guards and gardeners. She probably should have stayed quiet, but she couldn't help it. “I hope you don't mind me asking, but isn't Her Majesty normally inside her personal chambers or the library? Why are you here and not inside the palace?”
Allen looked to the side before answering. “I'm on my way to go to her room. I just need to find the entrance door to the right corridor.”
Blanche was a bit taken aback by that. She furrowed her brows slightly and imagined the palace's layout. If that man had entered the property through the main gate, he should have been at the entrance hall already. Was there a reason that he hadn't just used that entrance? Or was he so lost that he hadn't remembered how to get to his destination from there? She almost couldn't imagine it. She cleared her throat to break the uncomfortable silence and spoke up again. “As a guest of Her Majesty, you surely came through the main entrance, right?” Allen nodded so she continued. “Then you simply should have entered the palace there. Someone would have led you to Her Majesty's chambers to take the shortest way. Going through the garden is a detour.”
Allen didn't respond until a few seconds passed. “I know.” He definitely should know that after coming at least once a month for an entire year. His eyes wandered to the side as if he avoided meeting her gaze. “Where do I need to go if I want to reach her room from here?” His voice had been quiet as if he hadn't expected an answer. Maybe he was too embarrassed to ask the woman he hated so much.
Blanche didn't like him much either, but she intended to help him nonetheless. Even if it was a bit unpleasant, this would only have advantages for her. It would be satisfying to see how he would react to being indebted to her, and she could do something against him sneaking around here. She didn't like him creeping around in the garden one bit, so giving him a tip seemed to be the best option. Blanche swallowed down her negative feelings about this man to envision the palace's layout and described the fastest way to get to his destination. She tried to give the directions slowly and clearly, but it didn't help much.
Allen's confusion quickly became apparent on his face in the form of a deep frown. Maybe that was because he was irritated about her trying to help him, but she didn't care.
Blanche interrupted herself and inwardly sighed. Bringing him to the third floor wouldn't take an eternity but still a little while. Right now she didn't have time to do that as she needed to find the passageway before Stella returned. But while Allen stood here she wouldn't be able to complete her goal either. She wanted to let out an annoyed huff but held back. “If you don't mind, I could simply lead you there. I think that might be faster than explaining it to you and forcing you to wander around aimlessly. I do not wish to make you figure the way out yourself.” Nor did she wish to run around with him, but this was her only choice right now.
Allen was silent and just stared at her. The following seconds were even more uncomfortable than the previous ones had been. He looked so frustrated that she almost thought that he would be too prideful to agree. But at some point, he seemed to have bargained with himself and spoke up. “I would be honored to receive your help.” He surely didn't sound like it.
Blanche hadn't expected gratitude anyway. She wordlessly turned around and began walking along the pathway. She followed the tiled path around the palace until they had reached a small side entrance, which was guarded by a pair of knights. This wing of the building was the one that contained the emperor's office, as well as his and the empress' personal chambers. For this reason, there were more guards than in the other parts of the palace, but they allowed Blanche to pass after recognizing her. She unwillingly shuddered upon suppressing the memories of her nightmare at the sight of the knights and hurried to get away from them.
While walking, she could practically feel how Allen's gaze pierced the backside of her skull. She fought the urge to turn around and request that he stopped but obviously didn't dare to do that. So, it was uncomfortably quiet. In any other cases she might have tried to lighten the tense atmosphere with some small talk, but she wouldn't speak to a member of the Duremont family when she didn't have to. This made the walk much more exhausting than it had to be, but talking probably would have made it worse.
After what felt like hours, they finally reached the third floor, where the empress' chambers were located. The guards in front of the door noticed Allen's arrival and asked him to wait while they informed the empress.
Blanche said her goodbyes and spun on her heel to walk away. She could finally escape this uncomfortable silence. She and Allen didn't like each other very much, so conversations would seem like a facade and the constant quietness made the tension between them too obvious. She sped up her pace a little after a few steps in hopes of getting away as soon as possible. After all, she didn't want to wait until the door opened and risk facing the heroine. She didn't get far though.
“You're different.”
She froze and slowly turned her head to look in Allen's direction with widened eyes. “What?”
Allen didn't have time to respond as the guards came into the corridor again and led him inside the room. He left Blanche standing there in confusion.
It took a few moments before she continued to move forward. Her brain stopped working at this point, and she followed the hallways aimlessly. While she wasn't certain what Allen had been referring to, she guessed that he had meant her behavior towards him. During previous meetings, they hadn't said anything but insults and provocations to each other which had often ended in her crying and Theodore trying to pacify both sides. Along with her strained relationship with his beloved sister, this was more than enough to justify Allen's strong dislike for Blanche.
Of course, this sentiment was returned since Blanche had always seen him as Seraphina's lackey, who would hinder her from being close to Theodore during balls. Helping him would have been out of the question just a few days ago, but today she had done so without hesitating.
Naturally, this would seem odd to Allen. He couldn't know what disturbing images had filled her head and changed her whole view of the world. Seeing how her actions were being described in a book had shown her that she was the one that would lose in this story. Seraphina and her brother would win anyway, and since Blanche couldn't cause problems for them without risking her death, she wouldn't unnecessarily argue with them either. She needed the main characters to think about her as nothing but a boring woman that didn't stand out. They couldn't perceive her as the villainess.
Seeing Allen's frustration while she helped him had been satisfying as well, but something else was much more important. Being kind to Allen was a part of making him view her in another light. And it had worked. He had noticed her abnormal behavior. This proved that Blanche could influence the opinion of others despite the original story. Thus, she would also be able to change her own fate at least slightly. This was an incredibly important clue, and it possibly allowed Blanche to evade her doom.
Still, she didn't feel joy.
She could be certain that her actions had small consequences, sure. But there wasn't any evidence that more crucial parts of the story could be changed. As long as the worlds insisted on making the original narrative come true, she would be unable to prevent her demise. And wouldn't she lose Theodore in any case? If so, what was the point?
Blanche reached the staircase and slowly climbed down to the bottom floor. She wanted to sit somewhere private and be alone with her worries, just one more time. She hadn't focused on it, but her body moved on its own. Unconsciously, she left the palace through the side entrance to go back into the garden. She followed the main path until she had nearly reached the terrace and then took a smaller path. This way was framed by hedges, which hid the most wonderful location within the royal palace. She rounded a corner behind which her destination was hidden, and let out a sigh.
The pavilion stood at the end of the pathway. It was completely surrounded by hedges and blooming flowers. Ivy had grown up the pillars and obstructed the view on it along with the bushes so that the pavilion was barely visible from the others parts of the garden.
Blanche stepped under the white roof and sat down on a bench. She loved this place with every fiber of her being. Ever since she had entered the palace, this had been the spot that she came to when she wanted to raise her mood.
The pavilion had been the first location of the royal estate she had seen, and it was connected to the most beautiful memories she had.
Blanche had been brought into the palace fifteen months ago. It had been the emperor's birthday, and a huge ball had been organized to celebrate. The many nobles arriving at the palace had been the perfect distraction, and Marquess Sefare had been able to smuggle Blanche inside with him. He had led her to the pavilion and told he to pretend to cry if someone came. He had insisted that she should claim to suffer from amnesia and could only remember her first name. Then he had left her alone in the darkness.
Back then she hadn't been able to keep herself from crying. She had been scared of being found by a guard and worried about being punished for trespassing. As soon as footsteps had come closer, she had become even more terrified and had begun to sob.
The person entering the pavilion hadn't been a guard that wished to arrest her though. It had been Theodore, who had wanted to take a break from the stressful event.
To this day, Blanche could remember the exact moment that their eyes first met. They had stared at each other for an eternity, and she had even forgotten to cry. Then Theodore had approached and consoled her with the promise that he would keep her safe. At that point, she had already felt an undeniable attraction to him. She would even go as far as to say that she had fallen in love immediately. That had been the beginning of everything. For some reason, Theodore had allowed her to stay in the palace and began to spend all of his free time with her. Shortly after that, they had become lovers upon kissing in this very pavilion, and Blanche's feelings had only gotten stronger with each day.
In her memories, this pavilion was always connected with the start of her relationship and Theodore's soothing presence, as well as the countless happy hours that she had spent here with him. Normally, these thoughts made her cheerful, but after catching a glimpse at the future, she felt empty instead.
The novel had created her to be the awful villainess. She was destined to have a sorrowful life without a happy end. Whether she stayed in the palace or tried to find a new home in the capital, Theodore, the person she truly loved, would abandon her. But attempting to interfere with the story would make her an antagonist to the main characters and lead to her death. The most secure way to save her own life would be to cut all ties with her lovers and live in a different place far away from the book's events.
But she couldn't do that.
Blanche cursed her weak mind and her stubborn heart. She already felt the urge to cry again, and that only made her hate herself even more. Nobody was around to judge her, so she didn't hold back even if she got angry at herself at the same time. Hadn't she cried enough for a whole year in the last three days? Tears didn't solve any of her problems, and she had shed way too many already, much like the villainess in the novel had too. Yet, she couldn't help it. So, she would cry one more time before trying to get her life back together.
She couldn't even be blamed for this. The situation she was in would probably make most people emotional. Maybe it would have been better if she hadn't become aware of the fact that this was a novel at all. Then she wouldn't want to cry this often and wouldn't feel like the world would collapse soon. Blanche also wouldn't know that her future was almost certainly terrible. She would still believe in Theodore's infinite love as well and not fear him leaving her for another woman.
The book was the only thing that had ever made her doubt her lover's devotion. She had been jealous before, but she had never believed that he would actually turn away from her. Unfortunately, he would do it. He would fall for the heroine despite being in a relationship and abandon his old lover.
Of course, Blanche was merely his concubine and Seraphina his real wife, but she had the right to complain here. Theodore had only married the empress because of an arrangement to secure the support of the Duke of Duremont and his family. At the same time, he had decided to be with Blanche because of his own feelings. His lover had even been by his side before the wedding with the empress. Blanche had known him first, loved him first and been his first partner in every way. She was ready to offer everything to him.
Yet, he would choose to leave her and spend his life with the heroine. In the novel, he had chosen his pregnant wife while shoving away his mistress without giving her another look. In general, he had never treated them the same throughout the whole book, had he? That had to be because what he felt for his wife was true love while whatever he felt for Blanche wasn't.
As the concubine thought back to their first meeting, it became questionable why she hadn't realized this earlier. Theodore had looked at her for a moment and exchanged a few sentences with her before taking her in. No one could develop feelings this fast, no one but her. He had only judged her for her appearance which had nothing to do with real love.
Theodore might not love Blanche. Maybe he just thought that she was pretty and had kept her as a way to pass time.
The realization nearly shattered her heart as she began to sob uncontrollably. Still, a little part of her clung to the hope that she was only overthinking this. If Theodore didn't truly care for her, she would have believed in a relationship that was just a game to him. He couldn't be that cruel. She knew that he wasn't.
Blanche pressed her hands onto her mouth in an attempt to muffle her cries. No one should be close, but sometimes guards passed the path before the pavilion, and she didn't want them to find her like this. Her chest felt cramped, and it became harder to inhale with every time that air came into her lungs. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on slowing down her breathing, but her body refused to listen to her. Her shoulders sank forward, and she began to tremble.
It hurt so much. Why did she have to face this reality? Why was she punished like this when all she had ever done was loving Theodore? She only wanted to be with him. Was that too much to ask for? She didn't want to be in a world like this. She didn't want to be a villainess. She didn't want to face the same-
“Blanche?”
By the gods, no.
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