“What a silly dream.”

Blanche felt her heart break at that. She had tried to unburden herself to Theodore, and he simply dismissed it. He hadn't even taken her worst fear seriously. She wanted to say so much about that, but the words were stuck in her throat.

Her lover had lowered his gaze onto their hands and already continued in a soft voice. “You know that this wouldn't happen under any circumstance, right? What would you be executed for? You haven't done anything. Also, why should I leave you for another woman? Your brain surely came up with a stupid dream.”

But all of that wasn't impossible at all. It was exactly what would happen if Blanche didn't take action. She pressed her mouth into a thin line before speaking up. “If you fall in love with someone else, there is a possibility of you leaving me. And I was beheaded for trying to poison that woman while she was pregnant with your child. That was treason. In the dream, I mean.”

Theodore just smiled at her which was probably supposed to make her feel safe. “I wouldn't leave you. You know that I love you, and no one could ever make me stop adoring you. There is no one that could win my heart because it belongs to you. So, you don't have to be jealous of a nonexistent person. Since they don't exist, you can't get convicted for harming them. You see, your nightmare doesn't make any sense. Did you really worry about that?”

Although he couldn't know how serious this topic was to her, she still felt a little disappointed at him for ignoring her fears. “But-” She had just begun, but she was cut off immediately.

“You don't need to imagine such scenarios. There isn't a chance of me leaving you, not even a little one. This means that you don't have to worry about it. When I heard that something troubled you the entire day, I thought that it was serious. I'm glad it was just a dream.”

What was ‘just a dream’ to him, was the dark future that she desperately needed to escape from for Blanche. Even if he wasn't able to understand how threatening this was to her, dismissing her worries made her feel ignored. He couldn't know that her words had described the reality instead of a nightmare, but he had noticed that the subject had upset her. So, he could at least have tried to understand her fears.

Still, Theodore acted as if the problem was solved. He pressed a small kiss onto her hand before looking at her again. “Is everything alright now?”

Blanche was tempted to explain that, in fact, nothing was ‘alright’. But as soon as she lifted her head, she froze. She hadn't noticed before, but there were dark circles below Theodore's eyes.

In addition, he was wearing his uniform which meant that he had to have come directly from his office. Usually, he had time to change his clothes before dinner, but on some days he nearly drowned in work and barely had any free time. It seemed like today had been rough since he looked quite tired and still wore his uniform. He also had been forced to wait for Blanche's arrival and had been worried about her multiple times throughout the dinner.

Not only had the concubine caused trouble for him on a day that was already stressful, but right now she was also getting angry at him because he didn't know that her nightmare wasn't really a dream but something much more significant to her. How selfish she was. She couldn't demand that he just guessed that she had actually foreseen the future and blame him for not being able to do that. He couldn't go against his fate either. And how could she ask him to throw his happy end away for her? She couldn't tell him about any of this.

Blanche forced herself to smile. She didn't want to bother him for a second longer. “Yes, it's fine. Let us eat now.”

Her lover returned a grin and let go of her hands after giving her another kiss. “Very well.” He began to dine and Blanche did the same with less eagerness.

She still wasn't hungry thanks to the uproar in her brain, but she forced herself to finish her plate while making small talk with Theodore. In the process, she quickly realized that wouldn't be able to enjoy the time she had left with him properly despite her thinking that earlier. Her mind was already fixated on the fact that she would lose him sooner or later. Tears began pricking in her eyes and she struggled not to let her resignation show on her face. Apparently, she succeeded to some extent since the emperor didn't say anything.

After finishing her meal and confirming that Theodore was also done, Blanche stood up immediately. “I think I need to catch up on some sleep. I will go to bed early today. Goodnight.” She prepared to leave and already walked to the door, only to be stopped by her lover.

“You're not even going to give me a hug today?” Theodore seemed genuinely worried as he said that which wasn't surprising. Normally the two of them cuddled almost all the time when they were together.

Blanche couldn't bring herself to say anything. She just turned around to face him and extended her arms towards him to allow him to pull her against his chest. It felt like an eternity had passed since he last held her like this, but she knew that only a few days had passed. Theodore's embrace was warm and wonderful, and that only made her want to scream out even more. She loved him so much. Why did this world want to take him away from her this badly?

Couldn't she have been his happy end?

It took all of her self-control not to sob, but she somehow managed to hold back. She didn't have enough energy left to speak or face him any longer though. Tears were already rolling down her face and she could only hide them because she was pressed against his chest

If she said anything now, she would end up falling to her knees and begging him not to leave her for Seraphina. She would say that him visiting her once a month would be fine as long as he didn't abandon her completely.

And Theodore wouldn't understand and tell her that everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. Telling him wouldn't change a thing but to make him wonder why she doubted his love. He didn't need that now while he was under stress due to his work already.

So, Blanche kept quiet even though she wanted nothing more but to explain that she loved him and that she would do whatever it took to stay with him. As soon as Theodore let go, she spun around and stormed out of the dining room. Hopefully, it didn't look like she was running away, even if that was exactly what she was doing.

As soon as she had entered the corridor and heard the doors close behind her, it was over. She couldn't stop her tears anymore, and within seconds they began covering her whole face. The first sob came out of her throat, and she fought the urge to scream. She didn't want others to see this pathetic display. She moved her hands in front of her mouth and stifled her own noises while hurrying down the hallway towards the stairs. Her sight was slightly blurred, but she still found the staircase and managed to go up to the top floor without tripping.

She heard footsteps behind her and Stella calling out for her, but she ignored that. Blanche didn't slow down once and just hurried towards her room. When she reached the door, she slammed it open and stormed inside. She threw herself onto her bed and buried her face in the pillow. For a moment, she hoped to quieten her crying with that, but she had to give up since she could barely breathe like this. So, she forced herself to turn around so that she was facing upwards and shielded her face with her arms. Though she did her best to stay calm, she already felt her body betraying her. Sobs began coming out more often, and she started to tremble.

It didn't take long before Blanche heard the door. Then it was closed again. Footsteps approached the bed, only to stop next to it.

Stella called out to her in a soft tone. “My Lady...” When she didn't receive a response, she remained quiet afterward. Most likely because she didn't know what to say. Comforting another person was difficult enough and their complicated relationship didn't make it any easier.

Until yesterday, her mistress had treated the maid with an arrogant attitude and ordered her around while using harsh, and sometimes insulting, words. This morning, Blanche had apologized and expressed her desire to behave differently. During the rest of the day, they had talked a few times. The conversations had been pleasant but couldn't have convinced the servant of the concubine's change. Now Stella probably didn't know how to interact with the other woman. She couldn't know which of her mistress' personalities she would face and wouldn't overstep her boundaries as a maid either.

A few seconds passed in silence before an object screeched along the floor. It sounded like a chair was being pulled closer to the bed. The noise got louder before it stopped. Another moment went by before Stella whispered to her mistress. “Can I do something for you, My Lady?”

Blanche gave up on hiding her crying at that point. She was much too loud anyway. What was the use? She stopped covering her face and let her arms fall onto the blanket. She glanced over to the maid that had gotten a chair to sit on. “No.” She answered while attempting not to sound harsh, but she wasn't sure whether she had succeeded.

In any case, Stella didn't give in. “If I may ask, did you fight with His Majesty?”

Blanche turned her gaze to the ceiling above her and wiped a few tears from her eyes. She only answered after a few seconds of silence. “Not really.” She was unsure whether she wanted to talk about what had happened. She could either risk saying something she would regret later or just keep quiet. But the tumult in her mind needed to be cleared and venting to someone would certainly help. Slowly, she opened her mouth and spoke with hesitation. “You surely have people that you love too. Are you ever scared that...they might leave you behind?”

Stella seemed surprised that her mistress chose to talk to her but quickly prepared to reply. She moved her chair a bit closer to the bed before speaking in a gentle voice. “I do have people that I care about a lot. I am friends with many of the other servants, and some of them are so dear to me that I consider them my family. But we live in the palace together, so I never had to think about not being able to see them anymore. Though I have questioned what would happen if they suddenly didn't like me anymore, it was only an idea that didn't stay in my mind for long.”

Blanche glanced at her again. “What about your parents?”

The maid shook her head. “They died when I was extremely young, so I don't even remember them. I grew up in the palace.”

Naturally, the concubine had to run into such a mishap head first. How lucky she was. “I'm sorry.” She hadn't wanted to address such a sensitive topic.

“Don't be. As I said, I don't remember them at all, so I don't mind. But, of course, I never dreaded losing them because of this. Still, I can understand what you said. Naturally, I would hate not being able to spend time with my friends anymore. Losing them is my greatest fear. ”

Blanche sniffled at that. She almost choked on her own sobs as she forced herself to vocalize the worst nightmare that any god could have come up with for her. “My greatest fear is being...abandoned by the most important person in my life. Of course that's Theodore. I tried talking about that with him, but he didn't take it seriously. He just said that he wouldn't leave me and that I should stop worrying. But I can't simply quit thinking about it. People and relationships change over time, and when he decides that he doesn't want me anymore, I'll-” Her voice had gotten louder and more desperate with every word, so she interrupted herself. She closed her eyes and tried to hold back. If she didn't pull herself together, she might break down completely.

Stella waited a short moment and when her mistress didn't speak up again, she began. Her voice sounded even softer now, almost as if she was calming a child. “It's true that some relationships become distant and end. But not all will. And to be honest, I cannot imagine that His Majesty would ever lose interest in you. Do you know that the servants here, and even some people in the capital, see you and His Majesty as role models for how lovers should treat each other? There are countless people that adore how cute you two are together.”

Blanche opened her eyes to give her maid a skeptical look. There was no way. She knew what others really said about her relationship with the emperor.

But Stella seemed absolutely convinced that she was speaking the truth. “I'm being serious! The way that you behave around each other, the way you smile when you are together, and the way you two speak. All of that shows how much you care. Even outsiders are sure that they can observe true love by watching you. There are books being sold about you, you know? The capital celebrates your fairy-tale-like relationship.”

The concubine let out a snort at that. Maybe the commoners did think that it was cute. But she knew exactly how the nobles thought and talked about the emperor's affair. While there were some people who encouraged their ruler to have a mistress whom he was devoted to, most aristocrats didn't care about love.

Between the noble families, marriages were decided to accomplish a goal. In most cases, this was connected to forming ties with influential households, gaining power and wealth, or granting befriended families a favor. The most important part was securing heirs. Therefore, children were often considered pawns by their parents. They were supposed to continue the family's heritage or engage in a marriage that had been determined long before their birth.

Marriages because of love were extremely rare in noble society. Children were raised to fulfill the roles that had been chosen for them and naturally were discouraged from straying away from that path. If their parents didn't hold any affection for each other and showed this, love wouldn't matter to the children later either. Most nobles didn't even believe in true love and just assumed that relationships were cultivated to receive something from it in return. And a man having a mistress was said to be even less connected to love since that was usually only done to satisfy their physical desires.

For this reason, the affair between Theodore and Blanche was suspected to be a way to pass time for him and a chance to gain power for her. The misconduct and ignorance she had frequently shown had also fortified the aristocrats' guesses in that regard. Many believed that she only wished to use the emperor because of his high status.

Blanche gave her maid a weak smile and before replying. “I doubt it. Don't most of them hate me for seducing their country's ruler for my own benefit? You told me that some call me a prostitute just a few minutes ago.”

Stella seemed a bit hesitant about her answer, but she spoke up anyway. “Some do. But those are the individuals that don't get to witness your behavior around His Majesty often enough. Though I have to admit that you have…irritated a few of the servants with your actions, they still are aware of the fact that you care about our ruler. They have watched the two of you too regularly to assume otherwise. So they don't doubt your love for him. And it's the same the other way around. If His Majesty didn't truly love you, he wouldn't dote on you this much. While it's also true that your relationship might change, two-sided affection of this strength won't give in so easily.”

Little did Stella know that Blanche already saw what the future would offer. The concubine would be beheaded while the main characters celebrated their happy end. The novel had already decided that Theodore would become infatuated with his wife soon, so Blanche didn't have much time left. Still, she knew one thing. “I don't doubt that he cares about me.” Her voice was quiet when she said this, but she really was certain that he liked her.

The problem was that she wasn't sure whether this was true love. After all, the purest form of this emotion was reserved for the relationship between him and the heroine. At least that should be it since this was the world of a romance novel. So Theodore couldn't truly love his concubine, right?

Blanche sobbed at that thought. She wanted to keep quiet, but she couldn't help the words flowing out of her mouth. “I love him so much. Theo is the only one I have. Without him, I will...” Be all alone. Without her lover, she wouldn't be able to go on for much longer. Not only because she would be lonely then. Also, because her heart would be broken into a million pieces. Admitting this out loud was harder than it should have been. Blanche had already been forced to accept that the novel's reality was hers. Why wasn't she able to say it? She would have to give up anyway.

“I'll be there.” Stella's words came completely unexpected and snapped the other woman out of her paralysis.

Blanche turned to her maid upon hearing them. “What?” Her voice sounded pathetic right now, but she couldn't do anything about that. It was a wonder that she was even able to respond.

The maid lowered her gaze and looked at her hands, which she had balled to fists on her lap. “I mean... I'm not His Majesty and I could never replace him. And I really doubt that he would ever leave you since you're so...let's say...close to each other. But if that did happen, I would stay by your side. I know that it wouldn't be the same and that I don't have the qualification to promise something like this. But you wouldn't be alone.”

For a moment, Blanche could just stare at the servant before more tears streamed down her face again. “Why?” This time she could barely speak. “Why would you be alright with staying with me? Until today, I treated you terribly. This morning, I only said a few nice things, and you still care so much. I don't deserve that.” At least not until she had been able to make up for everything she had done which would take a while.

But Stella seemed determined to show her sincerity. “You apologized to me, My Lady. Accepting that you are doing something wrong is often the hardest thing to admit. I strongly believe that people can change if they honestly want to. Then they need another chance so that they can prove that they became a good person. You promised that you want to improve yourself, and I trust you. Even if we only talked for a short amount of time today and didn't have many conversations in the past, I could see a difference. I will give my best to support you on your journey. No matter what happens, I will be by your side. Even though I'm just a maid, it's better than nothing.”

Blanche was speechless for a moment. But then a warm sensation spread around her heart. She had been able to change Stella's impression of her. This meant that she could influence the way others viewed her. And she could make up for everything she had done wrong. This was only the beginning, but she had already become acquainted with a really kind person. A small smile crept onto her lips. “Thank you, Stella.”

Both women remained quiet for a while but the silence wasn't uncomfortable but rather calming. Blanche sniffled less, and she calmed down even if the horrible events of the future stayed in her mind the whole time. To keep them there, in the most distant corner of her mind, she tried to strike up a conversation again. “I like it better when you talk to me like this.”

Stella's expression made it obvious that she didn't know what her mistress was talking about.

The concubine grinned at that. “I prefer it when you speak your mind. You don't need to tell me what I want to hear or be obedient all the time. I'd like to become your friend if that's possible, so you can simply begin a conversation with me as you did just now.” She only realized what she said after speaking. When the embarrassment set in, it was already too late.

Thankfully, Stella looked like she wouldn't make fun of the other woman. She was just a bit surprised. “I would be honored to be your friend but... I don't know if I can do that. You are my mistress, and I am only a maid. If others hear that I speak to you in the same tone as with another servant, they will see this as an insult towards you.”

That was the only reason? In that case, it would be easy to convince her of the opposite.

Blanche quickly denied the maid's doubts. “I think that most people don't care what you say as long as I don't complain. Besides, you're probably the most polite person out of all the servants anyway. And even if you weren't, the others don't matter. Remember that you told me that their opinion is unimportant? We are alone most of the time anyway. No one will hear you talk. If it makes you more comfortable, you can also speak formally when we are surrounded by other people. In private it can be different. Also, if you want to, you can call me by my name.” Maybe she had wanted a bit too much too quickly. Blanche scanned her maid with worry about having messed up her chance.

Stella kept quiet for a few seconds. Based on her facial expression, she seemed to ponder over her response. Then she nodded once. “If you allow me to address you as a friend, I will. But only when we are alone. When we are in front of others, I will have to insist on the usual formalities. And if you don't mind, I would still like to call you ‘My Lady’. I somehow like the sound of that.”

A smile crossed Blanche's face. “I'm fine with that.” She was thankful that the maid felt content with seeing her as more of a friend than a mistress. Not only would this make it easier to start conversations with Stella, but it also gave her a personal advantage. Blanche had begun to genuinely like the servant and wanted to know more about her. She had never truly had any friends, so she would be happy if this worked out.

The concubine slowly sat up and wiped the remaining, already drying tears out of her eyes. She put all the fears that occupied her mind to the back of her mind and took a deep breath. It was unnecessary to keep on going through the same scenarios in her head. Her situation wouldn't change because of this and neither would her future. Instead of regretting what was bound to happen, she should focus on avoiding the role of the villainess. What she needed to prevent most was her execution. While this was easier to say than to carry out since her chest still hurt whenever she thought about Theodore, she forced herself to forget everything about the novel for a moment.

Blanche stood up and stretched her neck and shoulders before turning to Stella. “Thank you for talking to me. It helped a lot.”

The maid gave her a soft smile in return. “I didn't do much at all. But I'm glad that you feel better now.”

The concubine's gaze wandered to the windows, only to see that the sky had fully darkened. The dinner with Theodore had taken longer than she had thought even though it had already felt like an eternity to her. Staring into the darkness made her realize that she was actually getting really tired. Overthinking every single memory, plotting to survive and facing her lover had drained her energy quite a lot. And crying had made exhausted her too. So she wouldn't stay awake much longer. “I'd like to drink some water before going to bed.”

The maid nodded and left the bedroom to fetch a drink from the kitchen.

In the meantime, Blanche stood by the window and let her gaze drift across the garden. In the faint moonlight, the property appeared completely different from in the afternoon. The slight silver gleam made the whole scenery seem more mysterious. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to catch a glimpse of the roses from this spot, but she didn't doubt that they still looked as gorgeous as before, if not even more majestic.

When Stella returned, Blanche left her place by the window. She thanked her maid and she drank half of the water before setting the cup down on her nightstand. Afterward, she undressed with the servant's help and put on a nightgown before sitting on her bed again. She then wished Stella a good night and sent her to the maid's own room next door.

The servant returned the greeting and left.

Maybe Blanche should use her time alone as an opportunity to decide on the details of her survival plan, but she was too tired to concentrate. After pondering about the novel and the countless possibilities of what might happen in the future, she wanted to avoid thinking in general. Dwelling on Theodore and Seraphina's relationship would not prevent them from becoming a couple either. The concubine just wanted to sleep and push all of her problems away.

Maybe she only saw her situation like that because she was exhausted. Tomorrow she would probably overthink everything again as soon as she awoke. Or maybe she wouldn't. That didn't matter to her now.

Blanche lay down on her bed, pulled the blanket over her body and closed her eyes. For a second, she hoped and prayed to the gods. Maybe this whole thing had only been a dream and the novel didn't really exist. But deep inside she knew that she hadn't just seen a meaningless dream the night before.

Within seconds, she fell unconscious and spent the night in a deep sleep with images of a battlefield appearing in front of her inner eye.