“So, what’s with the duffle bag?” Elsie was leaned up against the arm of her couch, her arms crossed and looking at me with worry.

“I need to ask you a favor.” I extended my hand out to Leo as he approached me, meowing with need for attention.

“Sure. What’s up?” Her head tilted to the side as Leo rubbed his head against my fingers, lightly purring.

“Can I stay with you this weekend?”

There was a brief pause as she studied me.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I don’t really see why it would be a problem. But can I ask why?” Her tone was laced with confusion.

I sighed. “Ryker asked me to leave. It’s a huge mess.”

“I feel like we need some coffee.” She pulled me behind her and squeezed my hand, all but forcing me to drop down into a seat at her kitchen table.

I rested my face in my hands trying to think over all our earlier conversations and all the things we had done. I am not sure why Ryker would have lied other than to assume my first impression of him had been correct; he was a fuck boy. I had fallen right into it, just like he had wanted. He had made so many advances towards me and spent so much time trying to get to know me, that it had distracted me from what he was really doing.

I am a fucking idiot.

“So.” She pushed a steaming cup across the table to me. “Let’s talk about it.”

I pulled the cup closer to me. “Promise not to judge me?”

“Girl, what are best friends for?” When I said nothing, she made a face. “Of course not.”

“Fine.” I paused and swirled the dark liquid around before sighing again. “I slept with Ryker. Last week.”

Her eyes bulged.

“No. No.” I held up a finger. “You said you wouldn’t judge.”

“I’m not.” She cleared her throat. “Continue.”

“It was different. At least for me.” I admitted. “It wasn’t what I was used to. I cannot really explain it. But it was something different for me, in a good way. He has spent so much time with me, and we’ve gotten to know each other. He assured me he wasn’t with Emma, that it was just a complicated situation. She shows up out of nowhere and bam! Suddenly, they are engaged. Then. Then! He has the audacity to ask me to leave. It is my apartment, too! Apparently, he never told her I was a girl, never really explained to her anything about me, and she just shows up and starts bossing him around like she owns the damn place.”

I finished in a huff, flushed from my rising anger. Elsie stayed quiet, waiting patiently for me to calm down before she offered a sympathetic smile.

“I wouldn’t believe it if it weren’t for you telling me, but Ryker is a jackass, Jay. If this is the way he’s going to treat you, then I would just walk away if I were you. He is not worth it, and you deserve better. There is plenty of other fish in the sea, or something like that. Let Ryker wallow in his own misery with Emma.” Her smile turned wicked. “And I’ll give him a piece of my mind when I see him.”

“You really don’t mind if I stay?” I asked, mulling over how much pressure it would take to snap one of Ryker’s limbs. “I really hate asking for anything.”

“Of course not. Like I said, what are best friends for?” She smiled, back to her normal self.

The second time she said it, it really registered. Elsie considered me to be her best friend. It was not like I had ever had friends, let alone one that would fall under the category of ‘best;’ well, maybe Niklaus, but that was a moot point. It was a comfort to be able to unload all my frustrations about everything going on, and I appreciated her more than Elsie would ever know.

“Helllllooooo, space jams. Earth to Jaylyn.” Elsie teased me out of my head.

“Sorry.” I blinked a couple times. “What?”

“You were a little lost over there, my guy?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I was.”

“You good? What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” I straightened in her chair. “It’s just a little weird for me to think that I actually made friends while I’ve been here. Especially you.”

“Well, I hope you consider me to be your friend. If not, then you have sorely led me astray.” She acted as though I had wounded her.

“The best of friends.” I teased.

“Good.” She stuck out her tongue. “You must have had a weird childhood, on top of everything else.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Alright, well, enough with moping around and feeling sorry for ourselves. If you’re going to be staying the weekend, then we need a game plan.”

I raised an eyebrow in question.

“Well, we can’t just sit around talking about depressing stuff or studying all weekend, now can we? I’m thinking snacks and movies!” Her usual gush of charm had returned.

“Of course, you’re thinking about snacks.”

“I thought we were in a relationship of no judgement.” She pouted playfully. “Or should I ask how Ryker was in bed?”

I choked on the coffee that had not made it quite down my throat yet. “Absolutely not.”

“I’m kidding!” She wiggled her fingers at me. “Let’s forget about that jerk for a while and just have fun.”

“Thanks, Els.” I shook my head slightly. “You really are the best.”

“Oh, I know.” She pursed her lips and then broke out into a fit of giggles.

We returned to the apartment a little while later, our snacks and dinner in the bags at our sides. Somehow, Elsie had convinced me to buy half the convenience store for our snack supply. We had stopped on the way back to pick up burgers and fries for dinner. The fries hadn’t even made it halfway home before they were gone. My stomach was already hurting from laughing way too much, but it was a nice kind of soreness that did not really bother me.

Her roommate was nowhere to be found, but Elsie explained that she was hardly ever home, which left her and Leo by themselves most of the time. If I had been anybody else, I would have offered to move in with her, so she didn’t have to spend so much time on her own, but with everything going on with my life, that would be an impossible luxury.

Leo had found his favorite spot curled up between both of us, purring away as we laughed and booed at the movies Elsie chose. She liked b-rated horror movies the best. They were not terrifying and were easy to laugh at, especially with how predictable they were. She also mentioned the fact that the fall dance was just around the corner and that we would have to go dress shopping soon.

I could not stop the rising anxiety in my chest at the thought of attending a college function outside of the football games. High school had been an awkward four years for me. I hadn’t attended anything extracurricular or made any appearances at the dances. Hell, I had even made sure I was absent on picture days, and the make-up picture days. Back then, I didn’t have a problem not being tied down to anything remotely regarding my own history.

Even though I had every intention of telling her no, I promised Elsie that I would go. She admitted that nobody had ever asked her to any of the school dances, and that they were always held off campus. It played against the small rock of guilt in the pit of my stomach. It was still a shock that Elsie, herself, didn’t have many friends either. She was such a kind person that would normally attract all kinds of people her way, but strangely it did the exact opposite. Of course, everyone knew who she was, but no one ever actually took the time to sit down and have an actual conversation with her. Besides Sarah. But Sarah was a joke at best. She did her best to save face in front of the group, making sure Giovanni was blind to her true colors.

When the hour was late, Elsie let out a large yawn and stretch. She was a trooper, but she was obviously tired.

“Maybe we should call it a night?” I suggested.

“I can make it for a little while longer.” She insisted.

“I can’t.” I lied, faking a similar yawn.

“Oh, well, I don’t want to keep you up.” She smiled sleepily, and there was a hidden look of relief on her face.

She stood and Leo did the same, meowing pathetically at me as he rubbed his head against my arm and then dropped to the floor at Elsie’s feet. She turned and went into her kitchen, the glasses in her cabinet clanking together as she attempted to get a glass of water. I bent forward and opened my duffle, reaching for the hidden fifth of whiskey I had packed away. I straightened and opened the bottle, taking a large drink and tried not to wince as it burned its way into my stomach.

“What are you doing?” Elsie’s confused voice loomed overhead, and I leaned back to look at her.

Truth or lie?

“I have nightmares. Well, more like night terrors.” I explained, deciding it was better to offer some sort of truth instead of an all-out lie.

“Oh?” She looked even more confused and I sighed.

“The night my parents died. My mind wants to revisit it every night. The alcohol helps me sleep, so that I don’t wake up screaming.”

“Oh, Jay.” She leaned over and hugged me from behind. “I’m so sorry. You should not have to do this just to sleep. Does Ryker know?”

“Yeah.” I looked down into the bottle. “Unfortunately, I can’t beat it every single night. Ryker has been there countless times to make sure I was okay. He doesn’t know what the nightmares are about, though. So...”

“Of course.” She crossed her fingers. “I won’t tell a soul. It’s no one’s business but yours.”

“Thanks.” I swallowed hard.

“Well, I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Yeah. Night, Els.”

“Night, Jay.”

The sound of her door closing clicked throughout the living room and I huddled down deeper into her couch, finishing the fifth of whiskey in record time. My head swam as the drunkenness settled in and my mind swirled with thoughts of Ryker’s hands on my bare body, Emma in the background. I fought against the images, growling at my own stupidity. It was not long before the blurriness of my vision darkened, and I finally passed out.

Sunday morning came too quickly, and I was not ready to face the day. The weekend had been fun and lazy, just how Elsie had planned it. She had convinced me to do my nails and add a small temporary white streak of color to my black tresses of hair. I regretted it instantly, but I had to admit that it added a little bit of shine to my normal look.

Ryker had only texted me a few times, which I ignored and gave Elsie my undivided attention besides keeping a subtle eye on Giovanni. The one text I couldn’t ignore came bright and early before the sun even rose. Ryker was trying to pour his heart out into a hefty apology and explained that Emma had gone home, catching an early flight and that he wanted to see me and talk. I didn’t, but I did need new clothes and a couple of books and my notebook for my classes.

Elsie had offered for me to stay the whole week at her apartment and I took her up on the offer. I didn’t really have it in me to have a conversation with Ryker, but when I entered my apartment, of course he was lying in wait.

He had dark rings under his eyes like he hadn’t slept the past two nights and in the pit of my stomach I wanted to feel bad but didn’t allow myself to. He looked positively defeated, but I had little to say. I walked past him to get to my room and unlocked my door. I tossed the contents of dirty laundry out of my duffle and proceeded to grab replacements.

“Jaylyn.”

I said nothing.

“Jaylyn, look.”

I said nothing and continued my search.

“Jaylyn, would you look at me?” It was a firm plea.

My head shot up, anger boiling again. “Fuck you.”

“Jaylyn, please let me explain.”

“Oh, so now is a good time for you to explain yourself?” I seethed. “But not after fucking me, right?” I shoved my clothes in my duffle bag with a little more force than I had intended.

“I didn’t know she was coming, or I would have found some way to explain it to you before then. It’s a lot and I don’t have control over most of it.”

“No control?” I raged. “No control over being with Emma, no control over breaking up with her ‘since you’re not happy or in love with her’, or no control when it came to fucking me and screwing up your engagement?” I had used my fingers in a petty air quote type of way.

“It’s my fucking parents, Jaylyn!” He finally expressed the same anger I felt. “I can’t explain everything until I tell my fucking parents that I don’t fucking want to be with Emma!”

“Oh, so now, somehow your parents are involved and yet, you failed to mention any of this to me?! Just keep me in the dark and fuck me on the side. Well, get a fucking clue, Ryker. I am not a whore and I am not a homewrecker. So, you need to figure your shit out, and don’t expect me to sit around with your lies in the meantime.” I huffed, zipping my bag, and moving around him to get out of my room.

He followed and I slammed the door, locking it into place again.

“Jaylyn, please stay and talk.” He sighed angrily, running his hand through his hair.

“Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to hear it.” I said as I grabbed my blanket off the couch and glared at him, knowing Emma had used it. Ryker briefly flashed guilt, and I shook my head as I turned. “Go fuck yourself.”