Weeks went by and eventually, the only person I would see consistently was a golden-eyed black-haired maid.

I had seen her before around the estate, but she had always been working in the kitchen or doing errands. I didn’t even know what her voice sounded like, but it seemed that she had been assigned as my personal maid.

Normally, a young lady is not assigned one before her social debut at which time her schedule becomes too busy or complex for her to handle on her own, but they must have made an exception due to my condition.

Since the first time I woke up screaming, she had almost always been in the room and bringing me my meal and generally taking care of me.

She also tried to entertain me, but seemed to understand quicker than the others that having a conversation would be impossible.

She tried a variety of different things instead.

One day, she brought me dolls. I had never had any before since I spent most of my days playing games with my siblings or playing pranks on the estate’s staff. I had never considered them to be of any interest. I knew that Ela had a few in her room, but now that I was seeing them up close, I found them quite frightening.

They were just staring at me wordlessly. Unblinking. Their expressions frozen in a confused stupor. I looked at myself in the mirror.

Is that how people see me? A creepy life-sized doll?

When the maid came back later, I handed her the dolls and shook my head. She looked at me for a second and nodded. She promptly took the dolls away.

I think that somehow she knew what I was thinking.

As the weeks turned into months, I realised that people were avoiding me.

Servants would no longer enter the room to give my meals to my personal maid and would instead leave it at the door. If I was looking outside the window and locked eyes with a gardener, they would avoid my gaze. Even my own family had not come to visit in weeks.

The only person I saw all day was my personal maid.

She wasn’t very old. Younger than my parents, but still an adult. She had a serious but dignified expression on her face and had a small mole right underneath her golden eyes. She kept her black hair short in a bob and wore an intricate silver Seeir insignia around her wrist.

Most of the other servants would wear theirs proudly around their neck, but Goldie seemed more subdued in that regard. Maybe because she wasn’t a Meiriem follower?

I had taken to calling her ‘Goldie’ for her eyes.

At first, like anything else I said, she did not respond to the name. And so, every time I saw her looking at me, I would say the name while pointing at her.

Eventually she approached me, after I said the word, while pointing at herself. She mouthed some words I couldn’t understand, but I guessed the meaning.

[Yes! Goldie! Your name is Goldie!]

I felt warmth spread through my chest. It wasn’t much, but it had been a long time since anyone understood or even tried to understand what I said to them.

Goldie smiled warmly and bowed.

Since then, every time I called her name, she would appear beside me. Sometimes with tea or a snack.

After the failure of the dolls, Goldie had continued bringing me different toys. The wooden soldiers were fun, but after a few painful splinters I grew a bit wary of them. All the toys that required me to move around or move my hands around too much were right out.

Eventually, Goldie brought me a stuffed toy. A pink bear with large buttons for eyes. It was very soft and fluffy. I liked holding it and its eyes didn’t feel judgemental or avoidant like everyone else's. When holding it, I didn’t feel alone or afraid.

By now I had recovered enough to sit-up for longer periods of time. Goldie still carried the meals to my bed, but she would sit me on the sofa for a few hours every day while she cleaned the room or stitched my clothes. From there, I would hold onto my plush bear while facing the window, but from my angle, all I could see were clouds.

I wanted to see the garden.

Every time I tried to get Goldie to show me, she didn’t understand my request and only looked at the window while nodding and smiling.

I decided to take things into my own hands.

While Goldie was busy fitting the sheets on my mattress, I put my plan into action.

I turned myself around and let my foot hang down from the couch as I held onto my bear and the sofa, I reached downward with my foot until I touched the floor. I slowly brought down my second leg and stood tall. While still holding the sofa with one hand, I looked toward the window.

It isn’t too far. Maybe twice the distance to the bed. I can make it!

I left my bear on the sofa and faced my body toward the window. The world started moving around me and a painful wave went through my head. I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself.

I opened them and looked straight. I put my right foot forward and let go of the sofa. I then put my left foot forward.

So far so good.

Just as I lifted my right food once more, the world swirled around me and I lost my balance. I fell face first to the cold marble floor.

The shock made my eyes tear up.

I lifted my face and saw a small pool of blood where my nose had been a second before and even more still dripping from my face.

Did I break my face? Am I dying? What’s going on?!

As thoughts flooded my head, and I registered the pain, I started crying. Almost instantly, Goldie came and hugged me.

[Mommy! It hurts! It hurts so much! Mommy!]

I cried as I hung onto the maid. I called for my mother to come for me and make the pain go away like she used to, but she did not come.

She hadn’t come to make the pain go away since the day I woke up months ago.

Goldie picked me up and brought a handkerchief to my nose. She rocked me back and forth until my tears dried up. My eyes still burnt, but it felt better just having someone hold me.

At that moment, I realised that no one else had held me like that since the accident.

Once I calmed down, she carried me to the bed and tucked me under the cover. She went and fetched my stuffed bear and gave it to me.

Before I hugged it, I looked at it for a moment.

It had pink fur and blue buttons for eyes. Fur like my mothers hair and eyes just as well.

The same eyes that have not met mine in weeks and did not come make the pain go away anymore.

[I hate you!]

In anger, I threw the plush away. Tears flooded my eyes again.

Goldie went to pick up the plush and looked at me.

I could tell from the way she stared at me that she was worried, but her mouth didn’t move. She only nodded.

I buried my face in my pillow and cried until I fell asleep.

The next day Goldie came to the room with a basket in her arms. I looked at it curiously, she smiled and put down the basket at the feet of the bed.

I sat up, it was unusual for her to hide what she was bringing in. She took out a sewing kit, some coloured fabrics and buttons.

Is she thinking of making another plush?

I inched myself forward, my interest now piqued.

She took out two black buttons and placed them in front of her eyes to show what they were meant to be. I nodded excitedly. She showed me the box filled with different coloured buttons expectantly.

The answer was obvious.

I pointed at the yellow buttons. The only kind eyes I still remembered were Goldie’s after all. When I wake up in the middle of the night, it would be nice if that was the first thing I saw.

She then showed me the fabrics, but they were all vivid pastel colours. I wanted something that reminded me of Goldie, but her hair was completely black.

I looked at her and pointed at her hair, but she only tilted her head. She was probably thinking that I was just pointing at her...

I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward me. Once she was close enough I held a bit of her hair and showed it to her.

She blinked for a second, unsure. She grabbed some colour fabrics and mouthed something, but I shook my head and showed her the hair again. Goldie looked perplexed, but eventually nodded.

She left the room and came back a few minutes later with a dark fabric in one hand and a platter with tea and snacks in the other.

She sat me back against my pillows and placed the tray on top of my legs. I grabbed the cup of tea and watched as she worked.

When I saw her reach for a yellow fabric, I grunted in discontentment, but she just simply smiled at me and continued.

She traced shapes with chalk on the cloth and cut pieces of different sizes. She stuck needles in them to give them specific shapes and started sewing. I couldn’t completely follow what she was doing, but I saw limbs taking form, then a head, and then long ears. She then used some sort of white webbing to fill the body out and give it volume.

By the time I was done with the tea and biscuits, it was finished.

A cute black bunny rabbit with golden eyes, paws and inner ears. She held it out to me and I delicately took it into my hands as I stared at the plush in awe.

It was just like Goldie, but could be with me all the time!

[I’ll call him Darkie! Say Hi to Goldie, Darkie!]

I made the bunny rabbit wave at Goldie. She smiled and waved back.

I hugged Darkie tightly and looked up at Goldie once more.

[Thank you, Goldie! You’re my best friend ever!]

There was a hint of sadness in Goldie's eyes as she smiled back at me.

I couldn’t ask her why she looked sad, but as her best friend, I silently wished for her to feel better soon.