In the void, I saw no light nor did I hear any sound.

There were only feelings and sensations reliving over and over again that day in the clearing.

I felt the strain in my arms as I climbed up the tree. The thick leaves brushed against my cheeks and the rough bark rubbed against my skin, leaving scratches on my otherwise delicate silky skin.

At the time it had not seemed to matter, but now, it was all there was. I felt the texture of the branch I had chosen as the platform for my performance.

Now that I had time to reflect, I could tell that it wasn’t a particularly sturdy branch, probably a bit too brittle and too green to support my full weight.

Yet I couldn’t stop myself as I crawled along it, ripping my dress in several places.

I felt the anxiety and the dread as Knox started to leave the clearing without spotting me. Against my best judgement , my own legs stood up once more, inevitably snapping the branch under me.

I felt the sharp leaves cut my skin and the wind as my body plummeted toward the ground, but I didn’t feel the impact.

Just for a moment, a single instant in time, both light and sound came back to me piercing my soul with painful strident white.

In excruciating pain, I opened my eyes to a familiar ceiling, or should I say the blue canopy above my bed.

Illuminated by the soft light of the morning sun filtering through the thin fabric of the curtains, I could make out the insignia of the gods of Love, Meiriem, on the canopy. It was meticulously stitched, but as I strained my eyes to look at it, I felt a painful shock run through my skull and run down my body all the way through my spine. It felt as though needles were pushing their way through my very bones. I closed my eyes and the pain subsided for a moment, giving me a moment of respite.

When I opened them again, it was dark.

I could only tell that time had passed from how the light reflected on the folds of the canopy. I tried sitting up, but, as soon as I tried to move a single muscle, I felt another shock go through my body and my vision went blurry.

I blinked again, providing me yet another moment of peace from the pain. This time, the sunlight was shining into my face right as I was opening my eyes. It made me squint as I felt another shock coming, but thankfully it stopped before then as darkness enveloped me once more.

When I peeked between my eyelids, the light was gone, replaced by the blue light of the moon.

Every time I blinked the room remained the same, only the light on the canopy changed. For only company, the Meiriem insignia, two intertwined foxes each holding a wallflower in their jaws, faced me. The fold of the fabric being the only inconsistence other than the light, although that might have been a simple fruit of my imagination.

After what felt to me like only mere minutes since I was playing hide and seek, I blinked once more, but the light did not change.

My mind felt as if it was starting to settle and I could once more construct thoughts. It was dark, but some light seeped through the seams of the door, illuminating the canopy with a soft yellow glow of a candle or lamp.

As I tried to recall why I was laying down in bed and not on the grass of the garden’s clearing, I felt a painful vibration going through my skull. As if a thousand horses were galloping inches from my head. I tried blinking a second time, hoping it would make the pain go away again, but the light remained the same. I turned my head to look at the window, but this small movement sent me a wave of nausea.

I wanted to hurl, but my body seemed too weak to even do that much. All it made me do was gag on my own dry throat. This sent me into a terrible coughing fit.

Something was wrong with my body. It was painful, very painful. I had been sick before, I knew how it felt to be unwell, but this was different. It was so much worse.

I pushed myself through the shocks of pain and the overwhelming dizziness to sit up. I slowly looked around the room, but everything looked normal. It looked the same as it did whenever I woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. Oddly quiet and dark. Very dark.

[Knox?]

I tried to call but the words caught in my throat.

[Ela?]

I called again, but no sound came out. I could feel my lips move and my breath running through my throat, but the sound didn’t come out.

[Mom?]

I tried again. I could feel my throat vibrating, my breath on my hands, my lungs emptying.

I kept calling for people, but no words escaped my mouth, no matter how loud I tried to make call.

I started counting.

[one, two, three...]

Singing.

[She said to me, my red lady...]

And when not even the most conscious effort made a single sound, I started screaming.

Nothing came out.

Confused and afraid, I continued screaming on and on for what felt like hours.

It felt like I was drowning, my screams muffled by the water as I sunk deeper into the dark water. Carried away never to be heard by a single soul.

I panicked and tried to run for the door, but as soon as I put my foot on the ground, It felt as if thin nails pierced the sole of my foot. My head went woozy once more and I fell to my knees. Out of breath as if I had just run a marathon, I felt ashamed.

What will Ela and Knox think? I’m always the fastest, always the strongest, and now I can’t even stand still without falling over... Even Dalton can at least wiggle his way around when we play games.

I started crying soundlessly.

I tried to stand up again but another painful shock ran through my body starting from my foot, more painful than any before. It made me gag again and sent me into another painful coughing fit. Tears started flowing from my eyes as I screamed and screamed and screamed. But still no noise came out.

[Please Knox, come get me now, I don't want to hide anymore…]

I tried to say as I cried.

I’m alone… So alone… And I can’t even call for help. Knox always comes to get me when I have a nightmare late at night. Why isn’t he here now? Why doesn’t he know how scared I am right now? Why is he abandoning me like this?

[Please Dalton come here! We’ll play checkers! Or toy soldiers! Anything you want!]

I pleaded.

My throat started burning, but I kept screaming, my vision went blurry from the tears and the pain but I continued trying to scream helplessly.

Why isn’t my voice coming out? Is this a dream? Or maybe I’m being punished for being naughty? I didn’t want to fall from the tree, I swear! I just wanted to impress everyone. I just wanted you all to love me.

[Help!!! Help!!! Mom! Dad! Ela! Knox! Dalton! Anyone! Please anyone help me!!!]

Please someone, please come, I don’t want this, I’m scared, why can’t I make any noise? Why does my throat hurt, but no one can hear me?

I kept screaming and screaming, but no noise came out. I yelled for help until my tongue went numb, my eyes went dry, and my lungs burnt like embers.

Light started fading from my eyes again. I fought to keep them open and kept on trying to make any noise I could, even trying to hit things with my weakened arms, but before I realised, I was back in the void.

Back into nothing. A pit of pure darkness.

However this time was different.

This time the pain followed me as I fell into a deep tormented slumber.