“That’s a bad idea. If you both want to be in The Game, that’s one thing, but you can’t both be villains. What if you get arrested?”

“If we are arrested, we will just tell the heroes the time-honoured excuse all henchmen give to heroes.”

“You are going to blame me.”

“That’s right. Sorry officer, but the big bad villain made me do it. Sorry hero, but he is my father. The judge will probably let me go due to our relation. Bad upbringing and all that.”

“We never met till two weeks ago!”

“As if that will matter. Most people like to think being a villain means being a bad parent. Totally untrue but people believe what they want to believe. Never underestimate that.”

“You will still see time. Jason too if he gets into the Game. Who will take care of Zachery and Xavier if both of you are inside?”

“Jason’s parents are both around. By the way, they might want to meet you. They love the kids. Also, I am the assistant. I am in-”

“Woah chill out. You don’t have the job yet. I haven’t said ‘Yes’.”

“No one says ‘woah’ anymore. You need to get with the times.” As Victor scoffed at that useless trivia of popular culture, Jennifer continued.

“Like I was saying before being interrupted; I am the assistant. I am in administration support. I will probably never be at any crime scene. The average jail sentence of a villainous assistant is five weeks. The kids will be fine.”

“How do you know the average jail time of an assistant?” Victor asked. He promptly put his head in his hand as his daughter began pressing the screen on her tablet again. It was an item from hell.

“Where did you get that thing?”

“Candice gave it to me. Compliments of H.A.V.E. She claimed it was the essential equipment of every assistant. Here it is.”

Jennifer showed a screen to Victor that did state the average jail time of a villainous assistant. In fact, it showed the average jail time of every type of henchmen you can imagine. There was the Muscle, the Hacker, the Driver, even the Maintenance Guy. The website was even titled, “Villain Support: Henchmen, Minions, and Lackeys”. Victor felt his jaw falling to the ground.

“What in the name of the Gap is this?”

“It’s a website showing aspiring villain support what to expect when you join the business. It’s actually pretty comprehensive.”

Victor shook his head in disgust. “What’s wrong with being called a good old-fashioned henchman? At least when you go independent, it means something. What are all these terms? Muscle, Hacker, Driver? Back in my day, we just joined, and we are villains. Sure, we ‘hench’ for bigger villains, but we were still villains. Villain support sounds like you are working in an office.”

“There are some people who don’t want to be villains and being a full-time henchman is a safer occupation. Besides, villain support is a specialization profession. I mean you can still join as an ordinary Joe, but if you are a known Muscle or Driver, your starting pay will be much higher.”

“You are joking.”

“Nope. Read here.”

Jennifer showed Victor another page on the website and it was a testimony page. Several people who claimed to be former henchmen wrote about their work experience, and almost all of them said that being a henchman was a better gig than being a villain. Some even claimed that they had chances to move up but decided against switching to being villains. The reasons were varied but most state safety, pay, and personal improvement as the main reasons.

Victor read on in disbelief, but it wasn’t that he didn’t agreed with them. If you think about it, the job of a henchman was to be in the background. They took care of the little things that get the job done. They support the villains in whatever crime they are committing, but when heroes show up, villains are expected to step up and fight the heroes. The henchmen’s job was to get away with the loot. Some heroes even try to go easy on the henchmen, as they weren’t as dangerous as ‘real’ villains. So, it is indeed safer to be a henchman, but who in their right mind choose to join the Game to be the full-time help? It was just incomprehensible to Victor.

A few of the people writing on the page even claimed ‘personal improvement’ as a good reason to stay as a henchman. Some big villainous organization runs their group like a mercenary company and provide training and equipment to their henchmen. One writer claimed to have gained access to several high-level spells after joining a variety of villainous groups as a henchman. Knowledge was invaluable to a magic-user.

Victor continued reading and found that most of the people writing for the website considered themselves retired, but they do endorse the villainous lifestyle. Unsurprisingly, more than a few stated the pay as their main reason to join the Game.

Despite what the schools teach, crime do pay. And very well in some cases. One writer claimed to have received a cheque of over ten thousand dollars after a big job. There was even a section on the website that shows the expected pay of a ‘villain support’ and some argument on whether it was better to receive a ‘working salary’ or a ‘commission pay’. These were new terms to Victor, and he found himself clicking on a link that brought him to a new website. The new website was an employment agency … for villain support. Victor looked at his daughter with eyes wide as saucers.

“Yes, there are employment agencies for villain support. Once our … your organization gets off the group, we can start contacting them for referrals.”

“Referrals? For criminals?”

“Villain support, which is totally different from normal run-of-the-mill criminals.”

Victor was about say something about that when he realized he was swimming against the tide. Celebrity heroes; an entertainment company for villains; and now an employment agency for henchmen … with a website! Just how out-of-date was he? The Sweet Fist put both hands on his face.

“What happened to the world?”