Tumbling down the ravine, head over heels, like Westley on Princess Bride, I fell full force into the river. The rushing stream turned me over and over.

I used to be deathly afraid of water. Irrationally afraid.

I’d just defeated the Kelpie last week. My fear of water wasn’t gone entirely. But it no longer held its sway over me like it used to. I had closure. I could face my fears without being reducing into a bumbling comatose drooler. The Kelpie had drowned and slaughtered my sister. She hadn’t drowned herself after all, and I’d been the one to avenge her. By Fragarach’s edge I’d cut the roan’s head clean off and watched it slide down the bank into the muddy swamp water.

I swam for the bank now. As I clawed my way up, the mud sank beneath my fingernails. I stubbed my finger tips on a few sharp rocks, but bleeding fingers were the least of my worries. Fresh air filled my lungs for the first time since the Queen of Banshee’s pushed me into that dark pool of Chaos. I’d barely escaped the fight with Brigid. I let out a sigh of relief, both that I survived her and not drowning.

Wait I fought Brigid? Why would I do that? For some reason I teamed up with the Banshee sisters to fight another guardian of Order, and a Tuatha de Danann at that. Brigid was a Tuatha, and though it wasn’t like we were all allies just because I fought for Order, she wasn’t an enemy, strictly speaking. At least she wasn’t before I’d shown up and tried to kill her.

I’d done that. Me. Why?

My mind wasn’t clear. I tried to remember anything before her massive flame bonfire, before she punched me so hard that the fog filling my mind evaporated.

I’d been on an errand, a quest for the Banshee Queen, I’d wanted to appease her for killing two of her daughters. Why would I want to appease her? Why did I care what she felt towards me?

And then I remembered the kiss that the nearly dead geriatric witch queen had laid on me. The blood drained from my face. I spat and wiped my lips again and again, then almost hurled. Oh well, that was a night ago anyways. Any damage her lips did to me was done with.

I leaned over the edge of the river. Instead of my normal reflection mirroring my every movement looking exactly like me, I saw the Ban-he Sean, Asen Scáth, a walking Keening inversion of myself. He pounded against the water like he was locked away behind bulletproof glass.

What had I done? For some reason I had been drawn to the Banshee Queen. I thought it was a dream, that I was sleepwalking in some nightmare. But at the same time I had enjoyed the darkness, as if I always served Chaos and not Order. I had felt sad and sorry for killing Banshees for crying out loud. Banshees that tried to kill both my mom, brother, and my friends. What in the heck was wrong with me?

I peered down at my chest at the place under my t-shirt where I knew the Keening burned. My brother’s words haunted me.

I know exactly what’s gonna happen when we’re done with the Kelpie, Sean. Some new monsters will pop up and you’ll be ‘forced’ to fight them. And this pattern will keep repeating itself until you either walk away from it and get rid of the Keening or you get yourself killed in the process.

I punched my fist into the mud leaving an imprint of my knuckles. Gavin was right. This curse lived and it hungered for me, reveling at the chance to eat me alive from the inside out, and I didn’t even know it. I had lost control, not even aware of what I did. I had been under a spell, transfixed, mesmerized. And I hadn’t even been turned into a Ban-he yet when I was beckoned by her, which meant she might hold some sort of sway over me even now.

Images of her pushing me into that shallow pool and me wrestling with Ban-he Sean flashed in my head. If the Banshee Queen had that much power over me in my normal state, then she must have that much more control over me in my Ban-he form. And if I was willing to cast aside all alliances with Order, with doing the right thing while in that form, who knew who else I might hurt? I mean I’d fought Brigid at the Cliodhna’s first request. What if she asked me to fight Nehemiah? Or Rob? Or Charice?

And then I realized what I’d done right before coming to the Otherside in the first place.

My throat tightened and my chest ached. I’d gone all psycho on my friends. I’d lashed out at them like a rabid dog. Was it me or Asen Scáth? Did it matter? Until I dealt with the Keening, I had to accept responsibility for the actions he took in my body.

Charice’s own words from earlier echoed in my mind.

I’m a monster Sean. Like the things you hunt. And later, she’d said, I’m just a freak now. Your powers haven’t transformed your body. They haven’t made you into some kind of half-human monster.

If only she knew how prophetic her words were.

This whole time I foolishly assumed that the Keening was sort of like my powers, but a setback to keep me in check. Like my kryptonite. But it wasn’t an inanimate rock that weakened me. It was a bloodthirsty will that offered me immense power in exchange for one thing. Me.

Gavin understood that. Charice even had sensed it instinctively in herself. But I had brushed it off because the Keening had not been the only part of my life to change. The magic excited me, and the monsters were distracting. I’d been so foolish to think that it hadn’t changed me at all. It had been creeping within me this whole time until it took on a life and personality of its own. Obviously. Otherwise how could the Banshee Queen summoned me so easily? Perhaps she had been summoning me for weeks now. And the vampire bite was the thing that pushed the Keening over the edge.

But this was way worse than the Keening actually killing me. I could end up really hurting people I loved if I didn’t do anything about this. And the worst part would be, in the moment, I would enjoy hurting them.

I stood and walked along the bank with the water to my left and the forest to my right.

At the moment I was free of Asen Scáth. As promised, Brigid had beaten him out of me. Or beat me out of him. Violent movement beneath the water reminded me that Ban-he Sean still struggled to get out. Struggling within me. If only there was some way I could purge myself of this Keening. My heart sank further in my chest.

The Morrigan provided a way. She mentioned Brigid as an option specifically. Except for that I just had crossed paths with Brigid, and I tried to kill her. And she kicked my butt and almost returned the favor. In fact her beating the freakin’ crap out of me is what had knocked some sense into me and derailed Ban-he Sean. She had temporarily fixed what I had sought to permanently fix. But now I knew the full scope of what needed fixing. Only I had to go piss off the very Tuatha that could help me.

I was pretty sure there was nothing I could ever do to earn Brigid’s trust again, especially since it wasn’t like she was the first Tuatha de Danann that I’d fought and made my enemy. Not counting Donn who was already an enemy of mine simply by the side I chose, but I’d gone and ticked off the ruler of the ocean and stolen his sword. Granted I had a good reason for it, but I also hadn’t bothered to make any efforts to return it.

I’d been pretty busy myself, with myself. Also I wasn’t exactly sure how to give it back to Manann mac Lir without him ripping my head off. At our first encounter he’d taken me into custody, throwing me in a dungeon simply for showing up unannounced and riding atop his water horse, Enbarr. I could only imagine what he’d do to me after I escaped his dungeon, stole Fragarach, and used his magic boat as a getaway car. And my hobgoblin may or may not have flirted with his daughter.

Though I didn’t know the exact lay of the land, or how big this Otherside was, I was technically in Tir na nOg. The only thing I had going for me right now is that Manann mac Lir dwelled in Tir fo Thuinn, the land beneath the waves. And I was above the waves. Real me anyway.

Ban-he Sean struggled beneath the water, although I had a growing suspicion that no one else could see him. When I looked into the water it was some sort of physical vision, a symbol of the war raging within. Either way I’d momentarily dealt with Ban-he Sean and didn’t have to worry about him for the time being. But if I stayed here there was a chance Brigid might hunt me down.

I bet you anything Manann mac Lir could sense his sword, especially now that I was a lot closer to him. I shivered at the thought, but concentrated on the enemy at hand.

I didn’t know what to do about Ban-he Sean. Well that wasn’t true. The Morrigan offered some sort of deal, but I didn’t want to take it. I had no idea what the terms were. For now I just needed to get back home find Nehemiah and hash things out with him.

But how to do that? First time I’d come over to the Otherside, I’d come via a fog rift. The second time I’d walked through the dolmen, which was now destroyed. Also it rested on Tech Duinn, Donn’s island fortress of death. Even if I knew how to get there from here, I wouldn’t.

My other option was to use Fragarach to summon Enbarr, but I suspected if I tried to do that here in Tir na nOg ole’ Manann would rear his Herculean head and rippling muscles, tear me limb from limb, flex over my corpse, and return to his water kingdom with Fragarach.

I looked down at the water one last time.

Seeing Ban-he Sean trying to fight his way out beneath the water barrier was like witnessing a car accident. I couldn’t look away. It was too weird and interesting.

But as I peered down at my inverted reflection, another reflection of me stepped up behind my shoulder.

I spun on my heels and came face-to-face not with the Ban-he, but the Fetch.

Before I could move he delivered a well-placed hook kick to the side of my head. Then the uneven gravel bank surface rushed up to meet my face. Rocks embedded themselves into my cheeks.

“You’re supposed to be dead already,” hissed Fetch Sean. “And yet here you are. Bitten by a vampire, cursed by Keening, beckoned by the Banshee Queen. Beaten by a goddess. Your true self from deep within exposed, set free, and almost in complete control. And yet somehow you managed to claw your way back out of the great beyond. I can see why Donn the Red sent me after you.”

“Donn sent you to kill me?” I figured that after this amount of time, Donn had moved on to bigger and better things. But then again, time here in the Otherside flowed differently than Earth. Perhaps hardly any time at all had passed since I rescued Charice and all those civilians from Donn’s dungeon. Perhaps so much time had passed, Donn had turned deathly bitter towards me. I’d probably never know.

Fetch Sean grinned. “I can’t imagine how you survived, but I can’t allow that to happen. It’s against my nature, my being. You have cheated death too many times Sean O’Farrell, and the lord of the dead expects your debt to be paid in full.”

The Fetch came at me with everything he had. Which is to say everything I had. Roundhouse kicks, haymakers, uppercuts, drop kicks, butterfly twists. He tried to push me into the river where Ban-he Sean lay waiting to grab hold of me and drown me in the water. But even though I was getting my butt handed to me, I made sure to keep my back to the forest, not the water.

I tried to return some kind of attack, parry, but I was simply too much for myself. Not to mention I just got out of a fight with Brigid. Technically it was Ban-he Sean that did that, but where he ended and I began, who knew? His problems were now mine, and imposter Sean was here to see that I paid in full.

The Fetch threw a flurry of punches aimed at my torso. I brought my elbows in and ducked my head behind my arms, but many of his attacks still found their target.

I reached inside for my Good Luck, for that mass of power that lay dormant until I called upon it. But it wasn’t there. I came dangerously close to brushing up against the Keening power, what I now knew was Asen Scáth waiting to be unleashed. But I would have no more Ban-he Sean. To call upon his power would be to relinquish my own hold on myself and give into the darkness. Plus once I was done with the Fetch, I would give into the Queen’s call once more, beckoned to do her bidding.

I gave up on my Good Luck. It was anything but good today.

I dipped fully into my Kenjutsu training. Drawing both Fragarach and Jade I swiped and stabbed at the Fetch. But it seemed that whenever he wanted he could evaporate into a blur of mist at will, only to reappear next to me and catch me unawares with a sideswipe to the head.

Considering that he was an exact copy of me, the one saving grace was that he didn’t have either of my swords. But he did have some sort of phantom energy amassing from either hand. It wasn’t quite like my Good Luck. And it was almost invisible. The only way I actually made it out was the fact that a blurry aura surrounded his hands as if smoldering heat rose off of them. And every time he landed to strike it felt like more than a mere punch.

I wondered if this is how my enemies felt when I came against them with everything I had. I had to admit, I was impressive. When it came down to it I could be downright terrifying.

I switched up tactics, running for the forest. Silent wooden sentinels rushed by me as I put distance between me and the Fetch. I fell into parkour, running up a tilted tree until I reached the canopy of branches and leaves that formed an upper level to the forest. I sheathed Jade. Without my Good Luck she’d’ be no good here.

Fragarach on the other hand was already a magic blade. I sliced and severed giant limbs off of trees, felling the natural statues of the forest. I bore into them at angles so that they crossed paths as they fell, boxing in the Fetch giving him nowhere to teleport to. But at the last moment each time he would find some way to evaporate only to reappear on top of the toppled timber.

I leapt atop a log and raced towards him, tired of fleeing. Fragarach flew in an arch but he evaporated appearing behind me. I ducked underneath a kick, throwing a leg out of my own. I caught him with enough force to trip him up but he simply evaporated straight above my head coming down at me with a Superman punch.

Fragarach raised to meet him, but the force of his phantom magic punch was too great. After an explosion and a flash of light, I toppled backwards off the log hitting the ground hard. All the wind rushed out of me. My chest heaved trying to gasp for air.

The Fetch kicked the sword out of my hands. It spun beyond reach.

“So pathetic. You can’t even best yourself. And I don’t even have your filthy Good Luck.”

I wanted to tell this imposter Sean to shut up. Better yet I wanted to shut his mouth and beat his stupid clone face. I’d never hated the sight of myself so much as I did right then.

I was out of Good Luck, my sword cast aside, and had no ideas left. Worse yet the pull to access the Keening power, to go full Ban-he Sean grew stronger. It would be so simple to turn for only a moment. Ban-he Sean eager for release, made promises to me in my head.

You’ll be fine.

I’ll only take over for a little bit.

You’re tired. You just rest.

Let me give you power.

I wanted to scream and shout. But that’s exactly what Ban-he Sean wanted. Screaming was his thing. I felt the guttural cry beginning at the back of my throat snaking its way up, longing to call out, to blast this Fetch imposter with a sonic blast that would rock his phantom world. It took everything in my power to swallow that scream, to swallow my pride, to admit defeat.

Still had one last option though. Two tiny little black triangle shapes, the beaks in my pocket.

I grimaced not wanting to, but knowing this is the only way I was gonna get home alive. I reached inside and palmed the beaks. With every ounce of strength left I clapped my hands together and crushed the beaks like an egg shell.

Strange wind whipped at the leaves blowing foliage around us everywhere in us spiral.

The Fetch screamed. “What have you done?”

The spiral grew more violent whipping into a mini tornado and at the crux of it black mist tendrils reached out of nowhere folding in on themselves until the Morrigan stood before me.

Time froze. It did that sometimes when the Morrigan was around. Leaves hung in the air suspended and Fetch Sean froze wide-eyed gazing through me.

“Sean O’Farrell, I answer your summons.”

The burning in my chest overwhelmed me. Ban-he Sean was threatening a full-scale prison break. But he had decided to cause a riot first. At least that’s what it felt like inside of me, like somebody was clawing at my rib cage trying to break free.

“Help,” I croaked.

“I need you to specify,” she said.

I pointed to the Keening with both hands. “Remove the curse.”

The string of words were all I could manage to get out before I fell to my knees again, writhing, fighting for control, wrestling the Ban-he.

“Since you have called on me, I will call upon you in the future. If you receive my aid now, you will owe me, Sean O’Farrell, to aid me at on a day and time of my choosing. Understood?”

I nodded.

“I need you to proclaim it.”

“I agree,” I whispered. And as soon as I said it, I felt like I’d sold some part of me to her.

I didn’t have time to contemplate the implications for the future. Without an explanation she threw her arms open wide and her fingers blackened. Her nose stretched skyward and her nostrils flared before they too elongated. Her skin grew from ivory to ebony in an instant. Midnight black feathers sprung up out of her pores, shrouding her whole body in dark plumage. Perching before me in all her dark glory, the Morrigan took on the form of a crow the size of a Hummer.

She alighted into the sky leaving me to deal with the Fetch outside, and the Ban-he inside, all alone.

Time resumed and the leaves fell to the ground. Fetch Sean blinked several times before scanning his surroundings looking for some sign of what occurred, if anything. I was as baffled as he. Why had she left? I just agreed to take all the help she could give.

The Fetch laughed, mocking me with my own voice. “Seems like your spell backfired.”

I rose to my feet, still twitching. Inner Sean was about to break loose. That was fine with me now. The Morrigan abandoned me, and I’d had it up here with the Fetch running his mouth. Beneath my shirt the Keening glowed red, and the Fetch’s eyes darted to it.

“It’s about to get real,” I said. Then I screamed. A sonic blast ripped it from my mouth sending Fetch Sean airborne. With no time to evaporate to use his little teleportation trick, he slammed into a tree trunk, gasping for air.

For a moment he looked shocked, then he smirked. “No matter,” he huffed. “Go ahead. Give into the darkness. It’ll only kill you faster.”

“As long as you go down with me.”

Black wings beat hard on the horizon. The Morrigan looped back in the sky. She brought her wings in close, encasing her bird body and dove at me like a gargantuan fifty caliber sniper round.

“What the —?”

I couldn’t even move out of the way as her razor-sharp beak shot straight at my chest, dead center, right at the glowing Keening. At the point of impact she flew right through me. I felt like she ripped me in half and then the two halves were discarded and left for dead.

And yet somehow I fell to my knees, intact. I opened my eyes and looked into my shirt. The Keening was still there, but the glow was gone. And what was more, the dark power trying to claw its way out was absent. Something else was there though, something familiar.

Emerald light filled me pouring out of my fists. It was like the breaking of a dam, and the torrent rushed as the Good Luck seemed overjoyed to be released. It had been doing all it could to prevent the vampire’s bite or the Keening to lay claim to my life. Now that it didn’t have the Keening to worry about, I could summon it once more.

But then I heard my own voice groaning behind me.

I spun on my heels and saw what the Morrigan had done.

Ban-he Sean got to his feet several yards away from me.

She’d removed him from my body but not removed him from existence. He was not a mere water reflection of me, but the actual Ban-he me in the flesh.

Twigs broke under footsteps to my side. Fetch Sean slithered into my peripheral.

The imposter eyed the inversion. Then they both glared at me.

I didn’t like the look in their eyes. Both of them looked like they’d spotted a value deal on a triple pack of bacon. And I was the bacon.