《Transposition》50 - Theo

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“Um, Max?” Theo said quietly. “I am... really scared right now, and really desperately hoping you’re okay with this. But I’ve had, like, three weeks to get used to everything and you’ve had, what, an hour? So, um, if it’s kind of startling, that’s okay. I know I don’t sound the same, and I definitely don’t look the same. Although Kay was able to recognize me anyway, once she actually looked. But... I really am me.”

“Which is the important bit,” Max said, gaze fixed firmly on the stream. “Enough with the mystery junk. I figured out how to support and accept Kay. I’ll figure this out.”

Heart thumping, Theo laid a hand on his shoulder, and circled around so she could face him directly. Lower lip caught between her teeth, she stayed still with her eyes on the ground while his eyes ran the full length of her body, from bright blue hair to blue-pearl toenails.

He cupped both hands around her face, tilting it up so he could look straight into her eyes. “One absolutely truthful answer. No fudging. You’re okay with this?”

“Weird as it sounds... it was a shock at first, and it got all wrapped up in being terrified of what else was happening, but it feels... natural. Like... like never realizing before that good cameras exist, and spending all your life thinking basic old 35mm disposable was all there was and that it was fine, then suddenly being handed your good digital one.”

Max considered that, then nodded and leaned forward to kiss her, letting his hands fall so he could wrap both arms around her.

The sudden hormone rush braided itself into the dizzying relief and joy, powerful enough to take her breath away. Reluctantly, she broke the kiss she’d been dreaming of for weeks. “I have to tell you something important.” She felt the tentacles under her hair stirring. “Maybe two things. Um, actually, three? But one feels like the hardest to say and I’ve really got to tell you now.”

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“It had better be genuinely important. Today has been, hands down, the most terrifying and all-around horrible day of my life. I needed that kiss.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. I, um...”

Max caught both her hands in his—she saw him pause, taking stock of the sensation of the webbing between her fingers. “Whatever it is, say it and get it out of the way.”

“Fae blood brings some different instincts and basic needs and things like that. I can’t stay away from the water for all that long, or it gets really uncomfortable. Also... my sex drive has gone sky-high. And it’s a lot more aggressively dominant.”

“I’m supposed to have a problem with that?”

“Not... not that exactly. I’ve been dealing with that for over a week. It... it gets really hard to control around human men. Like... compulsive, at least under some conditions? And the only ones around were, well...”

Max’s expression went through several changes very rapidly.

It ended with him wrapping both arms around her, so tightly it might have been uncomfortable without faeling resilience. “Stop. Oh good god, love, what the hell have these psychos put you through? I’m not mad at you. But I do want to know what’s been happening, and you don’t get to give me that line of JC’s about not wanting to talk about it. I’ll wait if necessary, but I want to know.”

Theo snuggled close, her head on his shoulder. There was a lot less of a height difference. “I am trying so hard to keep from dragging you off somewhere alone right now. Or just not bothering about the being-alone part. Riley thinks that it’ll be easier for me to keep it under control if I have a way to kinda... work it off on my own terms. I am really hoping you’re honestly okay with that, because I am going to hate myself if I ever slip and push you into anything. That’s... that’s one of the other two things that you really need to know. Apparently I’m a siren. I can do things like singing to Kayla and Riley so they could actually get some sleep, but what comes the most naturally seems to be singing to make people want me. Which I can kind of extend to some extra commands. I won’t, because I want you as you, but I could basically just make everything shut down except wanting sex with me in any way that I feel like. That’s honestly basically mind-control rape, and I really don’t like it. I don’t feel so bad about the assholes here, because they really didn’t care how I felt so I don’t see why I should care how they did, but the thought of doing anything to you without consent is just...” She shuddered. “I would never forgive myself.”

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“Sorry, did you honestly just suggest that some kind of fae mind control might be necessary to make me willing to have sex with you? Especially if it’s something that you need?”

She took a slow, deep breath. Her mind kept filling with images of what she could do, how much more she could do with Max than with living toys. This was not the time for that, despite the heat vibrating through her, pulsing between her legs. She wanted that contact, so desperately, but she was not going to surrender to it. Max deserved better. And there was something she’d wanted even more: to have Max tell her it was okay, that he still loved her, that her world wasn’t going to end. That was enough to help her push aside the hunger for the moment.

“Not exactly, but it’s going to be awfully complicated ground and I wanted to make sure you knew now. That I can do it and how I feel about it, both. But I don’t think I can find any words for how hard I’m having to keep everything in my head—and elsewhere—locked down tight to keep from just, Idunno, singing everyone else to sleep and jumping you right here, or something.”

“We’ll find time alone, somehow, as soon as possible. Would you like to tell me what just touched my back and my bottom?”

“Um... run a hand up my spine? That would be the third thing.”

She tried to stay still while he did, aware despite distraction of her tentacles exploring with interest that they had not had in the henchmen. She felt his hand reach their base, investigate briefly, and follow one outward.

“Tentacles? Seriously?”

At least he sounded more amused than upset.

“Two of them. And they aren’t exactly under my direct control. They tend to do what I want to do instead of what I choose to do, if it makes any sense.”

“Hm. Well, that’ll make the high sex drive interesting.” Max rested his cheek against her head, still holding her. “I’m not going to say I don’t care. I do. But hours of thinking that I might have lost you forever... I can’t...” He stopped, and Theo felt him swallow hard. “All I know right now is how much I love you and need you and trust you, and anything else, we can figure out.”

“I can’t even begin to tell you how many times in the past three and a half weeks I kept going because I needed to get home to you.”

“You did. Well, more or less home. That’s all that matters.”

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