“I can’t believe I’m in a goblin forest on a fetch quest. This is ridiculous. Jamie’s dead and I’m collecting... special eggs!”

“Special eggs that will ultimately help give you a shot at getting her back. Any task that leads to more power-”

“Jamie is worth all of them and more, I know. It’s just... frustrating.”

“Glad we established that. Again. For the fifteenth time,” the ring chastised.

Oliver plucked the thumbnail-sized violet egg from the pile of blue ones in the nest and carefully began to make his way back down the tree without damaging the egg. The ring had led him to find eggs in mouse-holes, up the side of a two-story cliff in the middle of the forest, floating on a lily pad in the middle of a swamp, and even perched on top of a rock in the middle of a raging river. Some hiding spots were obvious, and some were really, really not. “That egg makes ninety-nine, one to go!” the ring announced.

“Great. Where’s the last one?” Oliver asked.

“That’s the question, isn’t it?”

“Oliver’s eyes scrunched in confusion. “You don’t know?”

“Oh, I do,” the ring answered. “You’re just not going to like it.”

Oliver did not like it. He was in a tree overlooking the goblin’s camp.

His simple spear was held to the side with one hand. There were various rusty weapons between where he appeared in the forest and the camp, but the ring was right. Each weapon he examined presented him with a pop-up, naming it something like [Ethel’s Simple Dagger] or [Steven’s Crude Sword]. As much as he still wanted to grab one or two, the ring had forbade it.

A warning from the ring when he got close to the camp, and Oliver snuck the last hundred meters or so, Trinket and Barton following close behind. The tiny earth elemental was mimicking a tip-toe-like movement to try and sneak like Oliver was, even though it had no toes.

The ring pointed out a tree that would be easy to climb, assuring Oliver that only he was able to hear the ring’s voice. Once he was high enough in the tree, Oliver circled it until he overlooked the goblin camp. Thank’s to Barton’s enhanced Bond, the dog understood his instructions to wait at the base of the tree. Trinket sat on its bottom next to Barton with its legs flat on the ground in a V shape that would have been uncomfortable for a being with bone and tendon joints but made the elemental look even more like a cute toddler.

Looking down at the goblins, Oliver whispered, “Camp is a bit generous, ring.” The open area was only about ten meters in diameter and held four small pale-green-skinned creatures. They each stood about waist-high, with a tousled mop of dirty brown hair on their short and wide heads. A dirty loincloth and pointy stick were the only possessions they had other than a simple campfire. Despite their general dirtiness, the goblins were almost cute. Their lanky arms hung down to their knees, and they chittered with each other in a language that included a lot of hard K sounds.

The nest with the last of the hundred violet eggs was on a branch of the same tree he was on, but it was lower on the tree than he was and much further from the trunk. In fact, it was almost within arm’s reach of one of the goblins.

“Here’s the rub, kiddo: killing the last goblin clears the Stage. If you don’t grab the egg before you defeat the last goblin, you’ll miss the opportunity. Plus, the reward for the Achievement includes a Bindable object. You’ll have to bind it before killing the last goblin or it will poof with the Stage.”

“So, how do I play this?” Oliver asked.

“Easiest thing is to have the dog draw their attention one way, then charge in from the other. Sharp end of the spear goes in the bad guys. Lather, rinse, repeat. The second that you aren’t fighting for your life, grab the egg, then, hoof it. We need to collect the reward and bind it before you are forced into finishing the fight.”

Oliver knelt down and ruffled his dog’s fur. “Hear that, buddy? Can you circle around and get their attention? I don’t want you getting hurt, so just bark loud and take off. Don’t fight, okay?”

While he was trying to decide whether or not Barton understood the instructions, the dog darted in to give him a quick lick, then turned and snuck off around the goblin camp.

“Don’t worry about the dog. There are ways to resurrect bound creatures. Make’s ‘em great meat shields.”

Oliver jerked back like he’d been hit. “Don’t talk about my dog like that,” he growled at the ring.

“Oh? Dog more important than your wife?”

“Sooooo... I was checking the online classifieds today, just scrollin’, ya know? And I might have found us a puppy.”

Oliver sighed. “And just what, pray tell, is this puppy that you have found?”

Jamie turned sideways on the couch and pulled her feet up to sit cross-legged. “Okay, you know how you like bird dogs? It’s an English Setter. Last one of the litter, cute as can be! He’s got black fur on his head with brown accents, a white coat with black spots, and one of those adorable flag-tails with the long fur on it.”

Oliver recognized that he was destined to lose the ‘to get a puppy or not’ debate, but he was obligated to see his half of the negotiation through. “I suppose someone is just giving this puppy away for free?”

Instead of pulling back, Jamie grinned even harder. “No, but he’s super affordable! It’s just an old farmer that has the mommy and his neighbor has the daddy. They have one litter of puppies a year and split the money. They don’t even register the puppies so they’re more affordable!”

“Okay,” Oliver relented. “How far are we going to have to drive?”

At this question, Jamie finally looked a bit nervous. “Only four... maybe five hours. One way. I’ve already packed us a lunch!”

“No,” Oliver replied through gritted teeth. “He’s not more important, but he’s one of the only things keeping her memory alive and keeping me functioning. I don’t know what would happen to me if I let something happen to Barton on purpose. I’d probably become a psychopath. No, he’s not a meat shield.”

The ring was silent for a moment before it replied, “Huh. Okay. Anyway, dog’s about ready.”

Oliver looked across the goblin’s camp and spotted Barton’s tell-tale flag tail just barely poking up above some bushes on the other side of the clearing. Oliver readied his spear, but didn’t have to wait long. Barton jumped out into the open, barking twice at the goblins. After a few stunned seconds, they decided to charge after the dog, but Oliver was already moving.

He gripped the spear tightly in both hands and stabbed it forward when he closed on the first goblin. Oliver was shocked at how natural the spear felt in his hands, even when it struck the goblin and slid straight through. Shock, surprise, pride, and fear all flickered through his mind in an instant but were gone just as quickly as he yanked the spear back and lined it up on the second goblin.

Something alerted the second goblin, and it turned back, but Oliver was quicker. He stabbed it mid-turn, and then there were only two remaining.

“The egg!”

The ring’s mental shout snapped him out of his battle trance, and Oliver shook his head to clear his thoughts. The nest was only about shoulder-high on the lowest-hanging limb in the clearing, so it was easy for Oliver to reach in and snag the egg. He tried to keep moving without tripping since one of the goblins had decided to chase after him while the other must have still been after Barton.

Hidden Quest [Gather 100 Lavender Thrush Eggs] Completed!

Title Awarded: Eggs-cellent Eyes!

Item Awarded: [Satchel]

In Oliver’s hands, a simple linen bag with a cross-body strap fuzzed into reality. Dazed, he kept running while holding the bag out in front of him on both face-up palms.

“Bind the bag, nitwit!” the ring ordered.

Snapped from his stupor, Oliver gave the mental command.

Bind [Satchel]? Y/N

[Satchel] Bound.

“Now what?” he shouted.

“Why are you yelling? I don’t have ears, I’m a ring. I’ll hear you.”

Oliver bit back his frustration and ground out, “What do I do now?”

“Oh, just kill the other goblins so we can move on. We’re done here.”

By now, Oliver had circled the tree to where Barton was busy playing keep-away with his goblin, while the other survivor was soon to catch up with him. Barton was in trouble. The brush around the clearing was too thick for the dog to escape through, and the goblin after him was hot on his heels. Oliver cast a glance back to where his own pursuer was only about five meters away.

“No, don’t do it! Leave the dog! You can't risk taking damage!” the ring barked at him, but Oliver ignored it. He spun back towards Barton and his opponent, drew his spear back over his shoulder, and threw the spear in his best Olympic javelin impression.

Several things happened nearly at the same time. Oliver’s spear flew oddly straight through the air, and he tracked it just long enough to see it strike the goblin in the torso. He didn’t know if it would be a fatal blow or not, but he was certain that Barton would be able to get away. Oliver turned just enough to see that, yes, he was about to be impaled by the last goblin’s improvised spear.

Instead of being perforated by a goblin with a pointy stick, Oliver watched as a toddler-sized rock person tackled the child-sized goblin.

“Trinket?” Oliver whispered in confusion.

“What the heck’s a trinket?” the ring mumbled.

The elemental that Oliver had just decided to name, climbed up from where it had sprawled out on the ground and began chasing the larger goblin, which ran in absolute terror. Oliver stood, rooted to the spot, as the odd chase played out in a tight circle in front of him. Soon, he recognized Barton at his side, and was pleased to see that the dog had brought him his spear back. Together, man and dog watched the absurd chase while Oliver absently took his spear back from Barton.

After a few more circles, Trinket stopped and held up one arm in the air whilst bending over and resting the other arm on its knee, doing a fantastic impression of a runner stopping for air while asking somebody else to wait a second. Oliver was fairly certain that you had to have lungs to run out of air, but he wasn’t about to correct the tiny elemental. Meanwhile, the goblin continued to run in a small circle.

“Should I... do something?” Oliver asked the ring.

For once, the talkative jewelry was speechless. “I- I don’t know. I mean, yeah, but... I’ve never... Maybe just whack it?”

Oliver complied and smacked the goblin over the head with the shaft of his spear the next time it ran by, and the goblin crumpled to the ground.

Stage 2 Complete!

The ring summed up Oliver’s feelings perfectly as the world dissolved around them, saying, “Huh. Neat.”