《Ghostly Bodies》Chapter X: The Dealer
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“Cheated?” I asked, turning around only to see the blonde dealer. She had her arms crossed under her breasts and was glaring up at me. Lona stopped not far away, looking. “I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Really?” She narrowed her eyes at me and then looked over my shoulder, where Lona was floating. She can't see Lona. Her eyes aren't focused on anything. All I have to do is not look back. “Is that why you left so early? You were cheating?”
“Early? I've been here for like five hours.” I said, almost forgetting entirely about the ghost and the cheating.
“You're on a hot streak. You won, what? 30 k today?” She said, gesturing to my chest for some reason. “People who are that hot don't leave.”
“I mean, statistically even if I'm a hot streak, continued play would just make it all but certain that I would lose it all,” I responded blankly.
“Pfft.” People who actually understand that don't come in and win that much in a sitting. They put all of their extra money in a savings account or whatever.” She retorted.
“If you think I cheated,” I began, trying to think my way through the lines of logic carefully. What I could possibly say to her to convince her I was not doing exactly what I was doing. It would be so much easier if this was a video game. I would just look at my dialogue options and choose whatever had the highest percentage of working. “Why didn't you report me? Why did you let me walk outside?”
“Because I don't have any proof. I don't know how you cheated. You had . . . Someone helping you. An invisible someone!” She took a step forward as she was speaking, her voice dying to a whisper at the end.
And there it was. There was my out. All I had to do was do to me what my parents, my whole family, my friends, therapists, counselors and so many people had done to me for so long. All I had to do was say I think you're hearing voices. We're going to get you some help. Everything will be okay. Don't freak out. Memories flooded back to me as the voice in my head sounded like both me and my mother. My father. Me spending my fourteenth birthday in an asylum because a ghost decided to keep me up for four days straight and I was so tired. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally spent. Snapping at voices that only I could hear. Staring at people that only I could see. There are lots of ghosts at hospitals. Usually, they are the most gone. People who spent so much time fighting diseases. They are basically like ghosts already. Lots of ghosts in asylums, too. Strong ghosts. Ghosts that scream and shout constantly. I glanced down at her name badge. Karen. Moving my mouth as I tried to think through my next words. Screw it! I can't do that to someone else. They might arrest me, but I'm sure Lona would visit me in jail.
“I . . . Karen,” I began, hesitating some more. “I don't know what you're talking about. If you think I cheated, then . . . I don't know what to tell you. Prove it, I guess.”
The dealer focused on my face as I spoke. Really her eyes never left mine. I felt Lona's hand rest on my shoulder. “You're a terrible fucking liar, you know that?”
I drew in a breath and shook my head, turning away. I got a few steps away when I heard Lona say, “Wait!”
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I stopped for a moment, hearing Karen exclaim “I knew it! I fucking knew you were cheating! . . . Somehow! Where are you? Where's that voice coming from?”
“Wh-what's the harm in telling her what's going on, John?” Lona whined. “I mean . . . She's like you.”
I did not move any further but I also did not turn around. Damn it, Lona! Why the hell . . . That's not fair to her. She hasn't spoken to anyone but me in twenty years. If I had only spoken to me in twenty years, I would also attach myself to anyone else the first chance I got. With another deep breath and faced my accuser and my friend. Lona was trying to suppress a grin but gave me an encouraging nod of her head. Karen just had the smuggest look I had ever seen on a person before painted across her face. I screwed up my face and looked around. “Uh . . . Is there somewhere private we could talk?”
“Yeah,” she nodded and motioned for me to follow her. I did so. After about five minutes of walking, we arrived at a cafe of some sort. She had not said anything in the time it took us to get there, but when we went inside, she turned to me. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“You're the one that just won a bunch of money. Buy us a drink and tell me how the fuck you two did it. Is your friend with us?” She said quietly. I sighed and walked up to the counter. The barista greeted me. I scanned the menu and saw that they had a nice tea selection. I ordered a standard Chai and Karen ordered something for herself that I could not begin to follow. The drink order had like fifteen adjectives. I paid and made my way over to a table far enough away from the few customers in the place. Despite it being the weekend, there was not a lot of customers, thankfully. I pulled out a seat for Karen and one for Lona too. She could just sit anywhere, but I generally thought it better if we gave her a seat where she was not being cut in half by a table. She did not really like it most of the time and it was distracting as hell. It made the table colder and also is just disturbing. Like a half-finished magic trick.
Karen sat across from me and Lona to the side. I stared at my hands. Lona put hers over mine and stroked over them with her thumb. The dealer leaned back, arms crossed, finger tapping impatiently. “Well?”
I sighed and rubbed my face, fingers slipping under my glasses. “You're not going to believe me when I tell you.”
“We'll see.” She said, evenly.
“You'll also not be able to prove anything. So, I'm keeping the money and you can't blackmail me for it without proof.” I said, annoyance creeping into my voice.
“I don't want your fucking money. I don't care that you cheated. I mean, it's kind of a shitty thing to do, but I guess it didn't hurt anyone. But I do care about how you cheated. Is . . . Is the voice still here?”
“I'm not a voice! I'm a person!” Lona shouted.
Karen jumped and stared through Lona off, towards a wall. She reached forward and her hand eventually went through the ghost's neck. Lona took it impassively, staring at the woman. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! It's so cold. What is it?”
“That's Lona. She's a ghost.”
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“Nah, that's bullshit. You're fucking with me!” Karen retorted, acidly. I shrugged and looked to Lona.
“I'm a ghost. I can do all of the normal ghost stuff. Walk through walls and fly.”
“She's way more unique than the other guys,” I said in a sing-song voice. Lona widened her eyes at me. Karen laughed. I looked to Lona. “I'll explain later. But yeah. She's a ghost. And she helped me earn some money for a . . . Project we're working on.”
Karen sobered up a little bit. “This is the story you're going wi-”
She was interrupted as the Barista called my name. I went up and picked up our drinks and sat hers in front of her. She continued on with her statement. “You expect me to believe in ghosts? It's got to be just a radio or something.”
“Have you never heard voices coming from seemingly nowhere before?” I asked, sipping my tea. It was a little too hot still.
She froze for a moment. “I . . . I hear things sometimes. But that doesn't mean anything. Lots of people hear things.”
“So you've, like, never talked to a ghost before? I'm taking your ghost virginity? Coool!” Lona said, leaning closer to the woman. I snorted and rolled my eyes.
“Ghost virginity?” Karen asked.
“She's the first ghost you've spoken to. She's weird. You get used to it.” Lona poked me.
“Used to . . . She can touch you! Why can she touch you?” Karen asked, gesturing to the depression of flesh underneath Lona's finger.
“Oh! I can touch things when I want to. Well . . . usually. It gets hard sometimes.”
“Why didn't I touch you when I . . . reached into you? I just felt a cold spot.” Karen asked the air approximately where Lona was.
“Haha. I didn't want you to. I don't let strangers just finger me just after we've met.” Lona said. And she's uncomfortable with Wet Ass Pussy. Hypocrite.
“Is she always like this?” Karen asked.
“Yes.” Both of us said in unison. We looked at each other and started laughing.
“Oh my god, you're dating the ghost,” Karen said in that whisper that always carried too loudly to everyone else.
“No, no, no no no,” I said, my voice cracking a little bit, and shook my head, waving my hand in a dismissive gesture. I tried not to look at Lona, but she was clear in my peripheral vision. She looked . . . Sad or disappointed. I could not really read her face. Especially since I was trying to avoid looking at it.
“Oh?” Karen asked. “You two seem awfully close.”
“We're just friends. Can't a guy and a girl just be friends?” I retorted.
“I mean, I can be. But I'm gay. And sure, I guess other people can. But I can see it. I can't see her, but I can see her effect on you. You like her.” Karen said.
“And that's why I didn't want you to finger me after we just met. I'm too old and too dead to discover new things about myself.” She said with a grin. She seemed a lot happier suddenly. I narrowed my eyes at both of them and raised my chin.
“I don't like anyone. People are a waste of time.” I said coldly. Well, my tone was cold. I made sure of that. But I felt my face heat up. I don't like her. I wouldn't fall for a ghost. I learned my lesson with Cynthia.
“Uh-huh,” Karen said. I had never heard so much disbelief in two syllables before. “So, what's this 'project' you two are working on? Hiring a medium to help you make pottery with? Well, not that. I guess you are the medium.”
“Oh, he's helping me get a new body,” Lona responded brightly. I grit my teeth. This . . . is going to be really embarrassing.
“A . . . new body . . . Like from the morgue?” Karen looked pretty grossed out. “Isn't that taking the necrophilia thing too far? It's one thing to be in love with a dead broad, but to . . .”
“No! . . . No . . . We . . . Uh . . . Thought of an alternative body type. Since she can . . . manipulate inanimate objects.” I said, reluctantly.
“Oh, like a mannequin? You guys got way more money than you'd need for a mannequin.” The dealer muttered, thoughtfully. I looked to Lona who was grinning so broadly at me. God damn it.
“Oh. It's not a mannequin. That doesn't have the . . . Fine motor control I'm looking for.” Lona said with a grin. She leaned in and whispered loudly enough so that I could hear. “He wants to get me a specialized sex doll.”
Karen burst out laughing. Lona joined in. I laid my head down on the table, which she was slapping violently. She calmed down enough to try and form a sentence, but every couple of words she would break out in raucous laughter again. “Oh, oh oh. Y-you don't like her, b-bu your solution to her not having a b-body is to get a fucking sex doll!”
I slammed my head down on the table several times. She had basically shouted that and everyone in the cafe was staring. I felt everyone's eyes on me. After a few minutes, she finally stopped laughing, wiping literal tears from her eyes. I looked at this woman across the table from me, doing my best to glare daggers at her. She grinned back. I think the effect of my stare was ruined by the fact that I was probably red enough to shame a tomato. “So, are you two going to use the body together? Do the old in-out?”
“No!” I said.
“We hadn't discussed it,” Lona said immediately following it. Her tone was incredibly neutral. I stared at her. What the fuck is going through your head? Apparently, I mouthed that because she looked away from me and said. “Well, he uh . . . Doesn't seem interested.”
“He's an idiot.” Karen countered. I laid my head back down on the table.
“Hey now! He's not an idiot! He's just . . .” Lona paused, composing herself. “He's just careful when it comes to ghosts.”
“Why?”
“I . . . I don't know. He just says he doesn't like to get too attached.” Lona said, thoughtfully.
“Hmm,” Karen stroked the hair out of her eyes staring above my head, thinking. “I guess you guys really wouldn't need the doll . . .”
“What do you mean?” The ghost inquired.
“I mean, well, you can touch stuff, right? Pick them up and junk.”
Lona nodded, then remembered that the woman could not see her. “Yeah. All kinds of stuff.”
“Then you guys could just . . . You know . . . I wonder what that would feel like.” She said.
“Cold, probably,” I interjected, not raising my head from the table.
“Oh, yeah. I was wondering about that. I bet it would be possible, considering the other things we've done.”
“Other things?” Karen leaned forward. “Dish. Tell me.”
“Like, we've cuddled a lot. When he's asleep, he tends to grab me and holds me against him.” I did not have to look up to know she was smiling. The way she spoke, I could just tell. And I felt myself getting redder
“Oh? But you totally don't like her.” The dealer emphasized the word, staring directly at me. Again, that was something I knew without looking up.
“I . . . get hot when I'm sleeping. She's cold. There's . . . There's nothing more to it.”
“Liar.” She said evenly.
“I'm not lying!”
“Hon, I work at a casino. I know a bluff when I see one. And you're not even good at this.”
“Oh, god. Kill me now.”
“So you could be with her forever?” Karen chided. I groaned and debated the benefits of a lobotomy via soup spoon.
“Karen, can I call you Karen?” Lona asked, tentatively. The other woman nodded. “I think I love you. I've never seen him so off-balanced. And I appeared naked in his bed once.”
“Oh? It's good to know that it goes both ways.” She said absently. I looked up at her.
“What do you mean by that?” I demanded, sourly.
“You're just like a little boy. So embarrassed. You like her. She likes you. Could it be any more obvious?” Karen said in the tempo of the Avril Lavigne song.
I just sighed and shook my head. “Nah, dude. You don't understand. If you knew what she looked like and how . . . She is, you'd realize she's too . . . She's just really kind and really cool and really forward about things.”
Karen just stared at me for a little bit longer before shaking her head, before muttering under her breath. “Men are such idiots. Thank God I don't have to deal with them often.”
I did not respond. The silence stretched between the three of us.
“SO!” Karen broke the silence loudly before quieting back down. “Why can I hear ghosts? Why can you see and hear ghosts?”
“I'm not sure. The first person that I met that I could talk to was John. Do you have any ideas, John?” Lona asked.
“Not really. I looked into it a few times. There's no good research on it. Lots of people making claims about stuff. No real research in any kind of field that answers any kind of questions.”
“Maybe it's not, like, a science thing,” Lona suggested.
“What the h . . .” I took a deep breath. “What do you mean by that, Lona?”
“Like. Science doesn't know everything. There are things that can't be proven by science. Like horoscopes or Bigfoot or ghosts.” Lona must have seen my eyes start to roll so she put extra emphasis on the last word.
“Oh, what's your sign?” Karen asked, before continuing. “No no no, let me guess! Sagittarius . . . No, no that's not right. Libra?”
“Bingo!” Lona said proudly. “And you're a . . . Oh, I'm usually so good at this . . . An Aries?”
“Haha, yes! You got it!” Karen said. “Yeah, people usually peg me as an Aries, but you got it in one.”
I closed my eyes, trying to withhold my judgment. Lona had a point. I talk to ghosts. Astrology could be real. They went on to compare a bunch of information that I did not understand at all and after about ten seconds, honestly tuned out, sipping my tea. After a few minutes, one of them addressed me again. “What about you, John?”
“What about what now?”
“Men,” Karen said. “Can't listen to something that they don't understand for even a minute.”
Lona laughed and slapped at her shoulder lightly. Karen stared at the spot for a moment, mouth open in an O shape. “She was just asking what your sign was. She thinks it's a Virgo.”
“I don't know. Sure. Is that a good one? Does it mean that I can learn special elemental moves?” I said. Both of them rolled their eyes in perfect synchronicity. It was kind of spooky. Especially since they could not have practiced it. Because . . . well, one was a ghost and the other could not see her and they had just met. Does it count as meeting if one can't see the other?
“What's your birthday, silly?” Lona asked before Karen could get another biting remark out.
“Oh, uh. March 17th.” I said, hesitantly. I really did not like the connotations of this conversation. I always felt people take these things too seriously. People think they know everything about a person based on arbitrary shapes in the sky. Oh well. Can't help it now.
“Pisces. Figures.” Karen said.
“Yeah.” Lona agreed.
I looked between them and then shook my head. The rest of the conversation was about a lot of things but honestly, I was drained. So much noise and action and thinking today. They ended the conversation with Karen giving Lona her phone number. She looked directly at me. “Now I don't want any drunken dick pics, got it?”
“I'm not going to send . . . Yeah. Okay. Only sober dick pics. Got it.” I said, resigned to my fate. Karen actually smiled at that.
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