Chapter 108 – A New Outlook – Holly Hayfield

My Thanksgiving break was turning out to be a simple one. I spent most my days off studying since there was one local college that I heard back from. It wasn’t my first choice, but it wasn’t far down the list either. I decided to try one of the practice exams they had available on their website. Even though they responded to my college résumé they still required all students pass an entrance exam. On top of that I’d have to keep my high GPA across the rest of the school year. I wasn’t too worried about the test but I wasn’t going to take things lightly either. My days off were committed to this.

My mother and I left town to visit some relatives on Thanksgiving Day. It was nothing spectacular but I did meet up with some family members I hadn’t seen in a while. There wasn’t really anyone my age there and I mostly spent time on daycare duty. My younger cousins needed someone to look after them while their parents mingled and I was an easy nomination. No one made me specifically volunteer, but I felt like the expectation was there. I didn’t mind. My cousins at least kept me occupied while I was there.

I was so worn out from playing with them that by the time I got home I didn’t want to do anything other than go straight to sleep. The morning jogs I did with the other members of the soon-to-be track club didn’t even leave me feeling this drained. My bed felt so much softer once the lights were out and I was snuggled into my blankets. My serene drift into slumber was interrupted by my cell phone suddenly ringing. Feeling somewhat annoyed, I was just going to put it on silent and then go back to sleep. Only, I saw a name that I wasn’t expecting to see at this time of night.

“Zoe…?” I asked as I answered the phone.

“Hey… Holly… Are you busy? I was hoping we could talk.”

She sounded even more worn out than I was. I wondered why she could be calling me at a time like this.

“Actually I’m in bed about to go to sleep.”

“Ah, of course…! I forgot how late it was… Sorry, I’ll call back some other time.”

“Wait!” I said before she could hang up, “Tell me, what’s wrong? Your voice sounds different.”

“Oh, does it…?” She asked flatly, “Well… I’ve been crying for a while.”

“Why…?”

“Erica changing schools… She told me that she was planning to last weekend, but I guess I didn’t take it too seriously at the time. It felt so sudden. A while ago I got a text from her that had a picture attached to it. It was a picture of all her boxes of clothes moved into her parents’ house. I don’t know what I was thinking when I called you. I just hoped that you might understand.”

I sat up on the edge of my bed and turned on my lamp.

“I do understand. I felt the same way when she told me she was leaving also. She’s called me a couple of times over the break so it still hasn’t sunk in for me yet. Going to school without her there will be… strange…”

I could hear Zoe sniffling on the other end of the line as I spoke. It sounded like she was trying to hold back from crying more. On the day that Erica told me she was changing schools I thought about the people that would miss her. I wasn’t familiar with her friends aside from the newspaper club so Zoe was the first to come to mind. I thought Zoe would be upset, but I never imagined she’d be this upset. I guess she really loved Erica more than it showed on the surface. That perspective made my heart ache for her.

“Hey, Zoe, I’m planning to go to the library tomorrow with Lilith, Alyssa, and Valentina. Why don’t you join us?”

“The library…?” She asked, “What were you four planning to do there?”

“The funny thing is that we each have separate reasons for going there. I’m going to be borrowing some books to prepare for an exam. Lilith is planning to check out a recently released novel. Alyssa is going because she wanted to hang out with me sometime this week. Valentina is going because she’s been putting off getting a library card and wants to take care of it now.”

“I don’t really have a good reason to be joining you…”

“Of course you do.” I said. “Hanging out with your other friends after Erica left is a good enough reason in my eyes.”

“Can I really call myself a friend to the other three? Aside from Lilith, I hardly know Valentina and Alyssa…”

“If you don’t know them then this is the perfect time to remedy that.” I said. “Now that I think about it, you called me at a fortunate time. Joining us tomorrow may be exactly what you need.”

“Maybe you’re right…” She said. “I’m willing to at least give it a try.”

“Can you get a ride to the Western Heights library by tomorrow or should I ask my mom if we can pick you up?”

“I don’t live too far from there so it won’t be a problem.”

“Great! We’re planning to meet up sometime around noon. I’ll give you a text when I’m on my way.”

“Thanks… I guess I can sleep a bit easier tonight then.”

“Me too,” I said.

“Good night,” She said.

“Night,” I said before hanging up the phone.

Well that was one potential problem solved. It was probably impossible for Zoe to get over Erica leaving quickly, but this would at least cushion the blow. The worst possible outcome would be her sinking into loneliness and depression. I felt like she already went through enough of that after her split from Lilith. We could at least spare her the pain of reliving that. It would mean even more if she could make additional progress with Lilith or a good impression on Alyssa.

The next day came and Lilith and I were the first ones to arrive at the library. It looked like Alyssa was dropped off by her grandmother. She missed me so much that she ran right over to me as soon as she walked into the library. She tackled me into a hug and wouldn’t let go. I hugged her back happily, but secretly I was worried. I didn’t want her to become dependent on me the same way she was dependent on Sofi. Part of my goal was to keep her surrounded with other people she could socialize with. Like Lilith, she had to be encouraged to interact with other people.

Lilith didn’t seem to appreciate Alyssa being here at all. Lilith was fine with the fact that Val would be joining us, but she couldn’t understand me when I explained why Alyssa would be coming. She didn’t dislike Alyssa of course. She just thought it was weird. To her, our situation with Alyssa was probably something she’d prefer to move on from now that the Matriarch was gone. She didn’t understand why we still ‘needed’ her. It took a while, but I managed to somewhat convince Lilith that friendships could be for something other than pragmatic utility value.

Lilith was definitely feeling less pragmatic as she watched Alyssa cling to me. The moment Alyssa hugged me she refused to let go. The look on Lilith’s face was hilarious! I never actually imagined that Lilith would get jealous over something like this! Why? I hugged people other than her before and she never seemed to get annoyed by it.

“That’s enough.” Lilith said as she pushed Alyssa off of me.

Alyssa peeled off slowly like old tape coming off of skin. It was silly to watch.

“What…?” Alyssa asked, “I missed her over Thanksgiving Break.”

“I missed you too.” I said.

“Holly has something she has to be doing here, right Holly?” Lilith asked.

“Hmm… Yeah, there’s a certain textbook I need to find. I don’t have it at home and it would be expensive to buy off the internet.”

“Can I come with you?” Alyssa asked.

“She’s here to study.” Lilith said. “Why don’t you study something too? Why did you come in the first place?”

Alyssa looked between Lilith and me as she thought about that for a moment.

“Holly, can you help me study?” She asked.

“Ugh…” Lilith huffed.

It was hard for me not to chuckle at this. Val came into the library while we were talking and walked over to where we were standing. She was looking very bright today, wearing a white baseball jacket and matching hat. She came over and wrapped all of us into a group hug, although Lilith resisted somewhat. Alyssa was more than happy to join in.

“Jay couldn’t come,” Val said, “Her family is still visiting for the holiday. She’ll be busy this weekend.”

“She mentioned something about that before which was why I didn’t ask her.” I said.

Val nodded and looked at Alyssa.

“I’m happy to see you here with us.” Val said.

Alyssa gave Lilith a smug look. Lilith rolled her eyes and walked away.

“Did I miss something?” Val asked.

I laughed.

“I’ll explain it to you later.”

Valentina went to go fill out the application for a new library card. Meanwhile, I went over to one of the library computers to check the location of the textbook I was looking for. Once I learned which section it was in I went across the library to get it. Alyssa followed me quietly like a puppy throughout this entire process. As much as I should’ve been put off by this, I actually thought it was quite endearing. It made me feel greatly appreciated for her to treat me this way.

I could sympathize with her clinginess more than anyone. I used to be that way with Ellie, following in her footsteps everywhere she went. Coming to this school changed me greatly in that regard. As much as I tried to be clingy with Lilith, my total neediness has died down greatly from lack of an accepting target. Knowing that, what was the appropriate way for me to react to Alyssa’s clinginess? As a counselor I should’ve corrected this behavior on sight. As a friend, I was willing to let her latch on to me for a while.

Once I had the book I needed we went over to the checkout desk where Val was. She was currently just now finishing up her form. There were a few unanswered questions in the questionnaire part of the form so I gave her some pointers. Alyssa watched us intently from over my shoulder. She was so close and quiet the entire time that she was like a human shadow. Even Val gave me a funny look when she noticed how Alyssa was behaving.

“Alyssa, do you mind going over to the vending machine and getting everyone a drink?” I asked as I pulled out my wallet, “This should be enough money. Get yourself a drink with it also.”

“What would you like?” Alyssa asked.

“I’ll take a coffee.”

“Me too,” Val said, “Lilith will probably want the same thing.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” She said.

Val turned to me with a knowing smile as Alyssa walked away.

“It seems like you’ve got a new admirer.” Val said.

“She just needs time to adjust to things without Sofi.” I said. “She’ll normalize after a couple of weeks of hanging out together.”

“Speaking of normalizing, look over there,” Val said, pointing in the direction of the lounging area.

Lilith was taking a break from reading her book to talk to the girl sitting next to her. I couldn’t tell who it was at first because I was only seeing the back of her head. After a second I realized that it was Zoe! They were actually talking normally without my intervention. It was a pleasure to see. From what I could tell things looked to be going well, but I could only see Lilith’s facial expression from this angle.

“That’s good.” I said. “Zoe needs someone to talk to now that Erica is leaving. We’ll have to buy a drink for her too.”

“Maybe you could set her up with Alyssa?” Val joked.

“I’m not sure they’d be fit for each other. There’s still a lot that I don’t know about Alyssa also.”

“The fact that she doesn’t talk much doesn’t help.” Val noted.

“There’s still some time left in Thanksgiving break… I’m going to try learning more about Alyssa too.”

“Before, I’d say you were wasting your time.” Val said, “But now it seems like she’s actually willing to open up to you… That’s impressive.”

“It’s more of a matter of circumstance than from my counseling abilities. I don’t want to miss this opportunity to learn more about her.”

“After that she’ll only stick to you even more.” Val said with a laugh.

I gave a reluctant laugh, knowing that there was probably some truth in that. My phone rang and we stopped laughing. I was happy to see that the caller ID said Sam. The last time I spoke to her was before Thanksgiving. I’d like to know how her holiday went. She probably spent it with Naomi and their friends rather than going to visit her family. I hoped they decided to order something instead of trying to cook everything themselves. I still remembered what happened last time we visited Sam’s place.

“Hey Sam, what’s up?” I asked.

“Holly…?” An unknown voice on the other end asked.

“Who’s this…?” I asked.

“This is Silver, Sylvie Brooks… Sam is here with me though. There’s something that I wanted to talk about and she insisted that I talk to you.”

“What is it?”

“It’s… a heavy topic and someone you know is involved… I know this is sudden, but can you come over to my place tomorrow?”

“You’re right, that is sudden…” I said, “If Sam insisted on it though then I’m sure she had good reason… Hmm… I’ll have to talk to my mom but I should be able to visit you for a counseling session.”

“Counseling session…? Well… Hmm… That would make a good alibi, wouldn’t it?”

“Alibi…?” I asked.

“I’m trying to think of how I’m going to get you through the front door.” She said. “My mother is suspicious of students from our school.”