Chapter 32 – Valentina’s Resolve – Holly Hayfield

It was a mistake of me to not consider Val one of the main suspects. The reason I overlooked her was because I didn’t expect website design to be in her skill repertoire. She and Lilith were emotionally drawn to Malorie’s story. I was too, but I was trying to control those feelings. I felt sympathy for Malorie but I also knew acting on those feelings could be dangerous. We were in this website situation because of that very reason.

“You created the website?” I asked for clarity.

“I did.” Val said, “With a little help from Jay of course. The website host I purchased the domain from had cookie-cutter templates that made designing the website easy enough.”

“I also helped with editing.” Jay added.

"All that’s left to do now is add more of the diary as Lilith finishes.” Val said.

“Did you think this through carefully?” I asked, “The vice principal could have our heads if she sees this!”

Val laughed like I was joking.

“What are you talking about? We talked about this yesterday, remember?” She said.

“When…?” I asked.

I reviewed the memories of my conversations with Val the day before. Nothing stood out to me as an explanation at first. Then I remembered a small detail about our conversation before she took me home. She mentioned something about doing something anonymously. That conversation we had was interrupted by my ankle monitor beeping.

“You can’t possibly mean what you were saying last night. That was your idea for telling people about Malorie?” I asked.

“You mean our idea.” Val insisted.

“What idea is that?” Lilith asked.

“So you guys planned this all along?” Sam asked.

“No! She’s twisting my words!” I said.

Val blinked in confusion as if I were the one talking nonsense.

“You were the one that said that we could release information about Malorie. You said we just needed to be smart about it. The blog is the best way to release information about her without incriminating ourselves. No one knows who the website is by. I made sure to keep everything anonymous.”

“I meant we could find a way to honor her and keep her memory alive. I didn’t mean put all our cards on the table.” I said.

“This blog is a way to both honor her and keep her memory alive. That’s why it’s called the Immortal Diary.”

“What about the vice principal?” I asked.

“What about her? She’s likely not going to see it. Besides, even if she did then what could she do? She has no way of knowing that we have Malorie’s diary. Even if she knew that then she still couldn’t confront us about it.” Val said.

Sam sat up straight and curiously leaned in.

“What do you mean by that?” Sam asked.

“Think about it,” Val said, “What would it look like if she came around asking us about Malorie’s diary.”

Lilith’s eyes widened.

“I get it! Coming to us over it would be an admission of guilt! She can’t talk to us about it without immediately confessing to her connection in the Malorie conspiracy.” Lilith said.

“Precisely,” Val said, “This website serves the purpose of honoring Malorie, but it also serves secondary purpose of acting like a trap. If she comes to us and grills us over the website…”

“Then it’ll be all the proof we need to go to the police.” I realized.

“Now you understand.” Val said.

“That’s why we can continue working on the blog unopposed.” Jay said.

In theory it was the perfect catch. She couldn’t punish us over it even if she had factual evidence it was us. This was both an offensive and defensive tactic. The only concern left was the effectiveness of the website. Was this really a meaningful way of honoring Malorie after what we saw in the basement?

“The website idea is smarter than I gave it credit for.” I admitted, “Is this enough in your eyes to be an acceptable solution regarding the Malorie situation?”

“Hell no,” Lilith answered immediately.

“Lilith’s answer is exactly what I was going to say.” Val said, “The blog is just a start. We need to do something bigger!”

Sam leaned back in her chair and put her feet up on the table.

“You mean something that will get more attention?” Sam asked. “We could throw up some graffiti somewhere and lead people to that blog. Like you said, all our bases are covered.”

“That’s not what I have in mind but it’s an interesting idea.” Val said.

“Since we’re leaving the website up there’s one change I’d like to make.” I said.

“What is it?” Val asked.

“Can you remove the website creation date from public view? That would help maintain our anonymity.”

“I don’t know how to do that. The date and time was part of the template.” Val said.

Val looked over at Jay.

“I can do it.” Jay said, “I’ll do it at home later.”

“Good.” Val said. “Soon more people will know about Malorie. They don’t need to know about her death yet. I just want them to know what she went through when she changed schools.”

Val was so consistently sympathetic when it came to Malorie that I was beginning to feel jealous. As ridiculous as it sounded Malorie truly had a friend in Val across space and time. If she were ever so caring towards me then maybe I’d be able to love her back. Instead all I got from her was rigid ‘toughening’ by force. It made me curious about Val’s motivations for doing this were. She never saw the tortured body.

“Why do you care so much about Malorie?” I asked.

Sam stopped leaning back in her chair carelessly to listen in. Jay stopped eating her lunch. Lilith stopped typing on her laptop. We all wanted to know the answer to this. Val realized this as she looked between us. Val stood up out of her chair and walked over towards the window behind her. The curtains were usually kept closed. She pulled one curtain back and let natural sunlight into the room.

“It isn’t just about Malorie. It’s about what Malorie’s story represents. It’s about what this school has become. Malorie was a troubled girl that was sent here, outcast from the regular school system. She came here to serve her time but never had the chance to move on.”

Val turned away from the window and back towards us. She leaned back against the shelf near the window behind her and stared at each of us.

“Malorie is us.” She said. “When I was expelled from the regular school system I thought my life was over. I came here with a lot on my mind and I couldn’t see past that. Unlike you girls, I’ve been here since the end of my freshman year. I’ve talked to myself for a long time about the school’s problems. One major thing about that stood out in Malorie’s diary.”

“It’s how relevant it still is today.” Lilith said.

“Exactly!” Val shouted, “I’m glad someone else understands.”

“Holly and I have been talking about that since the day we first read the diary.” Lilith said, “I’ve always wanted to become a teacher here just like my parents. I hoped that I could change things, but after reading Malorie’s diary I feel like that’s hopeless.”

“There are plenty of teachers that used to be students here.” Jay noted. “I don’t think these are wild ideas.”

“What’s that have to do with your feelings for Malorie?” Sam asked.

Val came back to her chair and sat back down. She pushed her chair up to the table and sat up straight.

“It has to do with why I’m running for student council president.” Val said. “We’ve gone through one important thing that Malorie has gone through. That was why I chose the three of you for my team originally. Sam is the only exception. I don’t know about Sam.”

“What is it the four of you went through?” Sam asked.

Val looked at her.

“We were all alone for an extended period at some point. It wasn’t until last school year that I started making a name for myself. It was the same for Lilith. I know that for a fact. Jay was a loner until I met her this year.” Val said.

Lilith bit her lip.

“All of the ‘friends’ I had up till now were disappointments.” Lilith said. “I didn’t want to go down that road again.”

“I had a falling out with the group I was part of.” Jay confessed. “I refused to invest myself into another group after that.”

“What about Holly?” Sam asked.

“Holly told me on the very first day of school.” Val said. “I saw the same thing in her that I saw in me and the others. The only difference is that this is Holly’s first year at this school. She was as fragile as a flower when I first met her. She’s improved over these three weeks.”

I wasn’t sure if I should take that as an insult or praise. She wasn’t wrong. I became a much tougher person, but not by choice. I developed a more resilient heart, but not by choice. I had Val to thank for a lot of that ‘improvement’, if it could be called that. I hated admitting it.

“I don’t remember telling you that I was alone. I only told you I lost my two best friends before coming here.” I said.

“You didn’t have to tell me the details because I already knew.” Val said. “You were like I was when I first came here. I tried to toughen you up to prepare you for this school. What I really wanted was for you to fight back. You never even tried.”

She sounded like Angel. That sort of thinking was dangerous. If I were to use violence to force my will on people then what would that make me? I’d be a monster. Those were the type of people that scared me the most, people like Candace. Even Val, despite her twisted reasoning, was still trying to force her will on me.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” I said.

Val let out a disappointed sigh.

“That’s exactly what I’m complaining about. You’re a pushover. You’re lucky you have me to protect you.” Val said.

“Sam has protected me from Black Brittney’s goons too.” I said.

Sam shrugged.

“I’m happy to help, but it would be best to learn some self-defense training. I can help you learn.” Sam said.

“The point I’m making is that we’ve all suffered because we were alone, just like Malorie.” Val said. “That’s why I made Holly, Lilith, and Jay members of this student council group.”

Sam let out a reserved chuckle.

“Guess I’m a perfect addition then.” Sam said. “I stepped far out of line at my last school and ended up alienating everyone I knew, including my family. I’ll spare you the long story and say I left my old world in flames. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be when I came here. Holly introduced me to Naomi and helped me find a path.”

Sam looked at me thankfully as she spoke. I could feel her gratitude.

“Well, that wasn’t my intent but I’m glad you’re happy.” I said. “I’m glad we’ve all been able to talk like this. I feel like I’ve finally gotten to know you all a little better. I’ve wanted this from the start.”

“It’s no coincidence that we’ve all gone through the same alienation and isolation Malorie went through. The school’s clique culture is the start of the problem.” Val said. “That’s why I decided to run for student council president. That’s why I believe in Malorie’s story. Things have to change, and I don’t mean after graduation. We can change things right now.”

“How…?” Lilith asked curiously.

“We’ll do it by dissolving the barriers between the school’s factions and ending clique culture.” Val said. “That’s why I must become president.”

She spoke with such conviction that I knew this was coming from her heart. This was the true Valentina Ivanovich bubbling to the surface. This was the view of her heart before Erica, Iris, and Kate corrupted her. This was her heart before Meredith’s School for Troubled girl’s further radicalized her. This was the heart of a girl that wasn’t faking it, but honestly cared about other people.

“That’s a big battle to fight.” I said frankly. “Is that even possible?”

Val grinned.

“It is. Unlike most schools, the student council here is able to impose rules as long as it gets backing from the staff. Normally the problem is enforcing the rules, but I’ve got a plan. We’re going to revive a dead student council function this school once had. It’s called the Student Corrections Authority. This will give us the power to fight that battle.”