Kierra

The morning after the last day of the full moon, I wake with a start, cold sweat covering my hot skin as I lay gasping. Shooting upright to start panicking when I can't move easily, I fight with the blanket for a few seconds before realizing what it is. Holding still and just breathing, I'm able to get myself under control. Looking around, I'm in my basement, tangled up in the corner where I have a bunch of pillows and blankets as a make-shift nest. I don't see Bastion anywhere, thank God.

The basement door is open, which means he's already gotten up and went somewhere. I see my robe draped over the railing on the stairs and have to smile. Sometimes I don't know who is taking care of who.

I look down at myself, naked and covered in fear sweat. A nightmare. My hands go over my face. I haven't had nightmares this bad in years, yet lately, I seem to be getting them left and right.

Pulling the blanket off, I try to remember what the dream had been about, but draw a blank. I might get snippets of it throughout the day outta nowhere if something jogs them free. I stand carefully and go to my robe, the thick and long blue cotton fluffiness goes to my calves.

I need a shower. I stink. You know it's bad when you can smell yourself. Even worse when you can tell distinct smells like fear or arousal. Fear has a pungency to it. To a predator, it smells good when coming from prey. But from oneself, not so much. Gonna have to make a trip to the laundromat soon.

I hurry to my room, get a change of clothes, then hightail it to the bathroom. Not sure I like having males in the house, they make things complicated. Turning the water on, I think about those very males.

Remembering that I was going to make a call today for Bastion, the question is, do I go there or ask her to come here? I hang up my robe and get into the shower, also need to talk to Asher about what happened with the replacing of the markings.

Not going to talk about everything, some things don't need to be known by anyone. My insides clench hard as I recall what had happened. Bastion hadn't brought up the blood on my thighs, either he didn't notice or he knew not to ask. Hell, from the situation I found him in, he probably knew what it was from.

Have a feeling he did notice, from some of the looks I've caught him giving me. Small glances of remembered and shared pain. When I had woken from passing out, I immediately took a shower and stayed in there for quite a while.

I'd hide in the house when Asher was around, not allowing him to come inside. I'd feel brushes in my mind, but I'd slam up a wall. Don't know if it worked or not, as he never pushed. I again come to the conclusion that I lean on him too much, expecting him to know all the answers.

Scrubbing the nightmare off my skin, I settle on telling him that he doesn't have to remain here if he doesn't want to, that he can leave. That it might be better if he does since I seem to keep drawing or causing trouble. Hot tears burn behind my eyes at the thought of him leaving though. Asher seems to have become my rock, the one I look to and the only other I know that can help with the mess that has become my life.

Which is sad when I think about it. Scowling harshly at the bar of soap in my hand. I've not looked to a male for help in a very long time, not depending on anyone but myself since I moved out from my mothers, wanting to prove to myself and others that I could do it and be successful on my own.

Faline had come to me a couple years ago, having gotten into a big fight with mom and needing a place to crash and cool down. She ended up staying and made up with mom after some time passed for them both to chill out. It was rocky between us at the beginning, having to relearn how to live with the other.

Rinsing the shampoo from my messed up hair, I pull my thoughts from the past. Need to focus on the present right now, need to get a hold of Ava for Bastion, hopefully, she'll be able to help him more than I can. Or at least give me clues on what to do.

She has a daughter about his age, she knows how to talk to kids, I don't. I'm really bad with kids. Hell, most times I can't stand them. Ava also has several horses, they're supposed to be therapeutic, right?

Ava and I have been friends since second grade. I'd ended up leaving, being bounced from school to school, so we lost touch for many years. Meeting up again completely by chance when we were around...I wanna say thirteen.

We kept in touch on and off after that for the next few years till we met up again at a brand new school that had recently opened. Then I changed schools again. Well, we both did, as that school was a middle school and we went to different high schools.

Making sure all the conditioner is rinsed out of my hair, I turn off the water and get out, blotting myself with a towel and looking into the mirror. My eyes roam over my changed features. Can't make up my mind if I like the hair or not.

The colors of red and silver in my hair remind me of an old high school's pride colors. That first year there had been brutal, if you can call it that. I was only there for half the semester, the other half was homeschooling.

Even for the first half of the year, I was mostly skipping or hiding in the library. One of the most screwed up things? I had taken Latin as my language, mom thinking it was stupid because it was a 'dead language'.

Having already taken Spanish previously and failing miserably, I wasn't wanting to continue with it, but Latin was something I thought would be cool. While there, I was getting it with no problem, but when I was being home-schooled however, the teacher they sent me didn't know it, so couldn't teach it to me.

They sent me a woman that was not qualified to be a teacher. Half my classes she had problems with. So I ended up failing that whole year. I was then put into a 'Special Needs' school. Fucked up huh? I thought so too at first.

I have what they referred to as a 'Behavioral Disorder'. So I was placed into a much smaller setting. Much smaller meaning a drastic change. I went from a mainstream high school of over five thousand kids to a rinky-dink building out in the boonies that held a hundred at most.

My lips curve up as I recall the years I spent there. Pulling my clothes on and grabbing everything dirty and tossing them into the hamper, all the dirty clothes from my room, my sisters', the few things of Bastion's, and the sweat-soaked blankets downstairs get stuffed inside it. Everything gets hauled, both the large hamper and basket, to my jeep when both are full.

Heading back in and going to the fridge for something to drink, I only now realize that I'm still barefoot. I shrug my shoulders and think back to the three years I had spent at Skyview Center. I smile again. It was small and I thought myself a badass.

That school was where I'd met Tristan. Speaking of which, I should probably give him a call. Make sure he hasn't been anywhere near here lately. Although if he had, I'm sure Asher would have mentioned something.

Tristan hadn't come in till a year later, by then I had established who I was. Everyone in that school knew me. Not because of any bad reason, but because I identified with them so well. When they had problems, instead of being taken to ISS or OSS by the teachers or aids, they were brought to me, some anyway.

I'd be asked to get pulled from class so I could calm whoever it was. There were always a few that I couldn't help, but most I could. Every student there was either B.D. like me, or L.D., those with learning disabilities.

The teacher I had my first year there helped get me back on track with my school work, even made it so I was able to make up that year with no problem and passing the current one I was supposed to be in, so I could graduate on time. I owe that woman a lot. She was only there for the one year, and during that time she spoiled me. I was a major 'teacher's pet'.

I snort into my orange juice on accident, not paying attention. Setting the glass down carefully, I grab some paper towels and clean my mess. It wasn't my fault that the woman loved me. She saw what she wanted to see in me; which was a happy-go-lucky straight-A student who could do no wrong.

That had caused some friction between me and other students, but once they'd seen I was not what she seemed to think I was, I was then considered alright. A 'one of them' type thing. It's not that I was lying to her, she just had a huge pair of rose-colored glasses when it came to me.

I was also one of maybe ten total female students there. Talk about wolves on the scent, the males in that school got ridiculous with their attentions. It was to one of those males that I had given my 'technical' virginity to.

My head lays on the table, then proceeds to thump on it a few times. Let's hear it for stupid horny teenagers. So much went wrong in that relationship, and should never have happened in the first place.

My scores in that place were one of the highest with ten others. His, on the other hand, were one of the lowest.

Head bangs a few more times, then raises for a drink.

The first year there is when I met Ryder, but everyone called him Rye. Turns out he was dating Ava. How's that for a small world? Not only dating but pregnant with his baby.

He and I became friends, along with a few others. The following year I met Tristan, who joined our circle. Those last two years with him were the funniest ever. The teachers said we'd go at it like an old married couple. We didn't look at each other that way though, we just became the best of friends.

I had a bad habit of arguing; I loved to do it. That's how I'd end up in trouble most times, was because I was arguing with one teacher or another over something. Lovely Tristan however, would give me what I needed and would argue back with me.

My last two years there I had the same teacher, another amazing woman. She didn't have a stick up her ass like some of the others did, she would actually joke around with us. That last year had been tough on Tristan though.

He had the habit of when he would get real mad, he'd shave his head. No big deal, but another student there was always butting heads with him. One of those that liked pulling the race card for every little imagined slight. He liked calling Tristan a skinhead.

It had got to the point that not even I could keep him calm. Out in the boonies, yet he would leave school and walk home. A few of the students liked doing that, but he didn't usually. Not unless things had gotten so bad that he didn't trust himself around people, so he'd remove himself from the situation. Which, if you ask me, was the best and most mature thing he could do.

A lot of the male adults there were really cool, trying to be supportive and as helpful as they could while still remaining professional. When a normally chill and well-behaved student went walking, they'd go and try to talk them into coming back instead of having the police called. Which wasn't that common, but still happened.

I take another drink of my juice, finding the glass empty. I look into it for a moment before getting another. The last year that I graduated, it was only me and one other. I was valedictorian. Which frankly sucked because I hate crowds, let alone speaking in front of one. I frankly dislike people in general, which just makes things all around all sorts of screwy.

That was also the year I started hanging with Ava a lot more. Going to parties she hosted, getting drunk or high, and passing out on her floor. Getting cottonmouth, yet wanting bread and peanut butter. I smile into my glass, not really seeing its contents as I reminisce.

By that time she had already had her daughter, Lily, who was kept away from the adults' extracurricular activities. That girl had the biggest brown eyes I've ever seen. She was the one child I fell in love with aside from family. Which is really saying something when I can't stand kids.

Lily, and Bastion of course. Lily's father had eventually split but stayed on good terms with most everyone, he had moved away last I'd heard. Tristan has stuck around. We don't hang out as much due to conflicting schedules, but I think with everything that's going on now, that's a good thing. He's doesn't need to get pulled in or exposed to this craziness.

Ava and I still hang out when we can. I'm an artist and a writer, she's a beautician and tattoo artist. Most of mine are from her. Ryder had bought me one on my graduation. It's small, but still greatly appreciated.

My glass is empty again. Getting up and rinsing it out, I decide that I need to face things in the here and now and stop dwelling on past things, as much as possible anyway. First things first, Asher and Bastion, who I can vaguely hear out back.

Stomach growling, pit stops are made at cupboards to scrounge up anything edible. It's pretty clear that I need to go grocery shopping, can't be put off much longer. My belly wholeheartedly agrees, but I'm good at ignoring things...sometimes.