“Welcome to the Conservative News Network. I am Mitch Duncen and this is the Patriot’s Guide to last week. For week of February 16th, 2027. This has been an interesting week. President Morris was elected on a platform of prosperity and a hardline response to North Korea. She proved she is a woman of her word, shortly after celebrating her 2nd year in office. She has signed into law a bill reinforcing US troops in South Korea in response to rising tensions with the North she has also authorized the deployment of two aircraft carrier groups to the area. It is good to have a president who is not afraid to stamp out the communist agenda with force.

Closer to home there have been two sightings of Super Terrorists in North America. One has been identified as Jonathon Eagle in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and a second man who remains unidentified as of this report, is responsible for burning down two churches, Saint Sarah’s Catholic Church and Southern United Baptist church in Charleston. The woman responsible for apprehending both of them has made herself known as Sarah O’Connor, we were able to verify she is a decorated war veteran and police officer from Chicago. Military records that we accessed with a FOIA request indicate she flew over a thousand combat sorties, has thirty-three confirmed kills. A modern-day flying ace. And she is a Medal of Honor recipient. She went on to work for the Chicago police as a detective with one of the highest arrest and conviction rates on record with an exemplary record. Her records indicate she grew up in Kansas and has just celebrated her forty-sixth birthday. We here at the Conservative News Network, and I personally would like to thank her for her long years of service, and her continued service to this country and its values.

News from Kenya, US Special Forces and the Kenyan Army were able to wrest control of the Northeastern Province of Kenya. They claim to have not found any evidence of the residents of the Orphanage that we reported were missing from there last week. We have sources close to the Vatican that have confirmed the hostages are safe and well. When asked for a comment the only response we received from the Vatican was that, on the wings of God’s angels they were brought safely into the shelter of the Holy See. Sarah O’Connor was spotted in Rome recently; I wonder if she had any special forces training during her time in the Navy.

On to some breaking news from this week. A bomb was set off in an uninhabited area of Southern Europe. Early reports indicate it was measured on the scale of a forty-kiloton explosive device. For scale, that is roughly four times as powerful as the nuclear weapon detonated on Hiroshima. As of yet no government, or organization has admitted responsibility for this detonation. Drone footage shows a massive crater and an area of forest that has been completely wiped out. There are currently no signs of radiation or other indications this was a nuclear weapon and no reports of meteorite activity in the area. We will report more on this story when more details are known. As of now, it seems like one of the world powers has developed a weapon as strong as a nuclear device without the radioactive fallout.

Back to Rome once again. There have been reports, videos and stories across the internet claiming that two messengers from God have appeared in the Vatican. The first showed up in St Peter’s and spoke to a teenage girl the messenger appeared to be Saint Sarah of Salvia. A saint from the fourteenth century. It apparently slid a sword into the floor of the basilica. The images we are displaying on the screen are photos taken by witnesses, and a few taken by our Italian colleagues. You can see it is a duplicate of the one used by Sarah O’Connor. Whatever, whomever it was took no steps to hide themselves or prevent recordings so there are several high-quality ones to watch on the Internet. A second one was reported to be seen in the papal offices during meeting between the Pope and Sarah O’Connor. At this time Conservative News Networks cannot confirm the veracity of either report and the Vatican has not released any statements on the occurrences. Many Christian groups around the world are declaring this a miracle, and Sarah O’Connor as the daughter of God. One thing is certain, if any of this is true the world is about to see a religious awakening on a level we have not yet witnessed.

What a week folks! Our first real superhero is an American Hero and a Christian. I have watched the interviews she has provided. Mind blowing stuff if true. Could you imagine reading journals written by someone who lived in Rome during its glory days? Someone who walked beside Jesus. What I wouldn’t give for a few minutes in that library of hers. Sarah if you’re watching: We’d love to sit down for an interview. That’s it for this week. Stay vigilant.”