I really do like The Tempest. It’s not like I can recall the lines word for word or anything, but it was the first play I went to see.

Jasper took me to a performance when I was seven. And its supposedly about Prospero Sesshouin, the first Lightning Mage, who was also a Druid who imprisoned an Air Spirit called Ariel, and a Wildwood Beast called Caliban. Though I think I heard on the internet that maybe the Sesshouin lineage paid someone off for the print companies to alter the text to include that?

I think Shakespeare made up a lot of nonsense though. Being both a Mage and a Druid? And somehow being tricked at sea? And then his daughter not also being a Thunder Mage? But oh well, it’s still entertaining.

Little me wanted to be like Miranda and marry a dreamy prince and be his Thunder Mage! How embarrassing!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t ever going to be strong enough to make storms. And isn’t part of me more like Miranda than I would care to admit? A lovestruck girl that falls for the first man besides her family that she sees? A girl no-where near as strong as her father, and indeed little but a piece for him to play in a grand scheme.

It’s a little bit sad, I guess. Hah…

Wait a moment. Did I just admit to myself that I’ve fallen for him?!? Oh, gods below! That can’t be true, can it?

I stare at the ring I have just received again, squirming uncomfortably. Events of the last two days all line up in my head; and I internally cringe at myself as I review them. The only result of my madness is indeed a crush so hard that I could squeeze oranges with it.

How frustrating. What makes it worse is the fact that my biggest entertainment when sitting here is watching his reactions, rather than the play itself. He seems fascinated with the play, and like an idiot, I’m stupid and fascinated with him. Not that there is anything wrong with the play, of course. It’s different to the one I recall, but I quite like this interpretation. The actors are solid and they’ve gone all out on the effects.

But is this crush really a bad thing? I don’t know.

“Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.” Jim suddenly whispers, echoing one of Ferdinand’s lines and shaking me from my reverie.

“Am I a devil to you?” I snicker.

He jumps, and then looks to me, raising an eyebrow.

“Only if you want to be, Lapis. But even so, ‘I would not wish any companion in the world but you.’” He quotes again and grins.

“You’re a flatterer. And isn’t it weird for you to be the one quoting Miranda?” I jab him with my finger, feigning disinterest, but I’m sure my face has gotten hotter.

He laughs. “I guess so.”

Oh. What was that? Was I flirting as well?

I’m so sorry, Lily. You pointing out my lack of self-awareness has only meant that I want to do those things consciously!

Jim was right; all the devils ARE here, and they have taken residence in my head…

. . .

The play finishes, and we choose to take a taxi back to his home once more.

“That was a good rendition of the play. The joker trio was a bit lacking; but the Prospero was excellent.” I say, giving me opinion. Even though my brain was racing with thoughts about my crush, I can still pay attention to these things. Fear my multi-tasking!

“Yes, it was fun. The effects were great, and they really nailed the redemption angle. But gosh, am I now exhausted…” Jim yawns and then blinks rapidly.

“Ah. I forgot earlier. How was your day?” I ask.

He sighs and sits back. “It was… not the best.”

“Oh.” That, in my experience of vocabulary with my father and brother means ‘terrible’. “Did you want to talk about it?” I ask.

He gives me a wistful smile, opens his mouth, stops, and then shakes his head. “I was about to say, it was nothing. But then I’d be going back on my own words about sharing everything with you the very same day.”

“Right. So, it was bad.” I hesitate for a moment. “I know I don’t currently have a very good track record…” I gulp, feeling all my mistakes of the last few days magnified tenfold. “…for being a good, emotionally stable support for you, Jim, but it’s something I have to… no, something I ~want~ to try being better at.”

He looks at me with eyes narrowed, but they are gentle.

“You’re an amazing woman, Lapis.” He shoots out of no-where.

“What!?” I stutter. “I’m hardly…”

“Two people died on my watch today.” He whispers.

“…hardly… oh.” I grunt. I look down.

“Which is why I thought about saying ‘its nothing’, Lapis. This is nothing new, at least for me. There are people you just can’t save. Even if you have magic.”

“I suppose so. That’s… that’s really sad.” I really don’t know what to say.

“It is. It really is. Part of you always thinks; could this person have done something amazing with their lives, had you saved them?” He rambles.

Suddenly, my little crush problem, my nervousness about getting married, my family circumstances. They all seem awfully insignificant.

“Ah. I’m so sorry.” He suddenly apologises. “It’s really unfair to lay this one on you. What a doofus I am, uncapping this bottle as a way to end a date. Ugh. Please forget about it.”

I hesitate, and the taxi stops. Jim pays for it with his phone, and we get out on the street next to the apartment. It’s quite cold now, with the sun having gone down an hour ago.

He starts to move. But I stay still.

He looks back, and immediately looks worried, returning to me.

“No.” I say. I don’t think I can communicate an adequate thought on this matter yet. So…

I go over and hug him gently.

He goes shock still.

“No.” I repeat.

“Lapis, it’s okay, you don’t…”

“No.” I repeat again. “I refuse to forget about it.”

“You can’t save them all.” I add.

“Yes, I kno…”

“Shut up, Jim.” I practically growl. He goes silent.

I let him go. His brows are furrowed, and he is frowning despite everything. As if to say ‘what is she doing?’.

Indeed. I don’t know, to be honest.

My thoughts finally line up in an order that is vaguely cohesive. And the result is horribly selfish. But for some reason, I don’t care at all. My throat feels dry, so I swallow.

“I am certainly ~not~ an amazing woman. I don’t know if I will ever do something amazing with my life. Probably not at all.” I look down at my feet briefly, but then gaze back at him.

“But; you see. That really doesn’t matter! I called you a hero before… but… but… but that’s wrong! You’re just a man!”

His mouth opens. He looks like I’ve just ripped his heart out of his chest. I panic a bit, as it sounded better in my head! How…

“No! That’s wrong. But what I mean! Agh!” I scrunch my hair. “I mean, a hero saves the world… everyone! But you’re a man. All you need to save is one person!” I pause, and look at my new ring for a moment.

“And this is horrible and callous and arrogant of me.”

I stutter. My brain is freezing over and rebelling, but absolute nonsense continues to spill from my mouth.

“E-E-Even more so. Especially more so to say to a doctor. But I’d like… I want… I think… I’d say… I hope… I hope that maybe I can be the one you want to save. I mean you already have saved me a bit! And in return, I… I will save you! Because… because I’m your wife!!”

Oh, gods below.

His mouth moves like a fish and he goes goggle eyed. But then his hand goes to his mouth, and he laughs at me.

Of course, why wouldn’t he? Heck, maybe if I’d have opened my mouth a little wider, I could have fit my entire leg in there?

AHHHHHHHH!!!! HOW I CAN SAY SOMETHING SO STUUUUPID!!!

But before I can start vomiting blood from my stupidity, and melt into a puddle of goo so that I can go crawl into a hole and die, I am suddenly hugged tightly.

I squirm, trying to get away.

“No. Lapis. You ~are~ a ~truly~ ~amazing~ woman.”

And then he kisses me, and I melt into goo after all.