《Do You Like Skydiving?》1.22 - Return
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Therapy session 126
Interview Transcript Excerpt
Dr Lunetta: The date is Wednesday the 22nd of March 2055. I’m here today with the lovely Cadell. We don’t have a therapy session scheduled for today. What brings you here?
Cadell: I need a listener.
Dr Lunetta: Really? This is new. I mean, this is brilliant to hear but I must say, this is out of character for you.
Cadell: I’m going to say something cool, you see, and I need someone to hear me and nod with approval rather than suggest I should slaughter everyone around me. Do you feel me?
Dr Lunetta: Um. Not really but please continue.
Cadell: I realised the journal just doesn’t cut it if I’m going to declare something awesome. I would tell my only friend Elijah but he’s busy at work. So here I am. [7 second silence]
Dr Lunetta: Cadell?
Cadell: I’m overpowered. In this world, doc, I’m overpowered. Something out of a comic book. In every city of every country of every continent, people walk around the streets and live normal lives with normal clothes. If they’re children, maybe they go to school before procrastinating on their homework. If they’re adults, maybe they go to work and do what they can to put food on the table. And then there’s me. My eyes glow purple. I can create portals. I have super strength. I can create a strange material out of thin air. I could travel across dimensions if I wanted. I swear it.
Dr Lunetta: What are you getting at?
Cadell: I thought to myself. Is this how you’re gonna be done? Really bro? Only superhero in this world, cold blooded murderer, and you gonna count yourself out because of a phobia? Because of a bloody knife? I thought to myself, this story is garbage.
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Dr Lunetta: Story?
Cadell: If my life was a story, if someone was stupid enough to write a story like this, this story would be garbage! A phobia? Are you kidding me? I have all these powers and this is the thing that does me in?
Dr lunetta: Phobias aren’t a joke Cadell. Taking into account your past, I think it's a worthy adversary for someone of your nature.
Cadell: Doctor.
Dr Lunetta: Yes?
Cadell: You’re a very wise woman. You’ve helped me get through some very hard times. But listen to me when I tell you this and listen closely. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say in my entire life.
Dr Lunetta: *gasps* Oh my.
Cadell: If you were a criminal and you said that to me, we’d be going skydiving ten times over. I wouldn’t even hesitate.
Dr Lunetta: Oh my, oh my.
Cadell: Vampires. Interdimensional dragons. Purple fluffy rabbits with lasers shooting out of their asses. Literally anything is better than this insufferable phobia. But I digress. I’m overpowered and I can’t just be sitting here twiddling my thumbs like I can’t be throwing cake projectiles.
Dr Lunetta: Oh, I saw that on YouTube. That was very funny.
Cadell: I know right? I wish all that chocolate didn’t go to waste though. It looked very scrumptious. I sometimes regret throwing it to this day.
Dr Lunetta: I love your determination, Cadell, but what are you going to do differently? Do you at least have a plan?
Cadell: Of course!
Dr Lunetta: Okay.
Cadell: That’s a lie. But I do have a little theory. It’s been 5 years since I’ve created Delirium. I never needed the element because, like I said, I’m overpowered. Could that have linked to the phobia somehow?
Dr Lunetta: The Delirium knife was what killed your parents so, yes, it’s possible. If you could create that weapon again and somehow resist the fear, you might be able to conquer the phobia as I’m pretty sure that weapon is the source.
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Cadell: See? That’s the solution!
Dr Lunetta: It’s just a guess and I’m extremely uncertain. I could easily be wrong.
Cadell: Naaaah. When have you been wrong?
Dr Lunetta: About 50 seconds ago when you said to me and I quote, ‘That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say in my entire life?’
Cadell: I don’t remember saying that.
Dr Lunetta: Right.
Cadell: This will be easy as pie. Nothing to w-worry about. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got bad guys to take to the skies so they can choke on flies. I just wanted that to rhyme but they do actually choke on flies. It’s always nice to see. I’ve missed that.
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RETURN, A Dark Lord story.
Return, Synopsis In the Triangulum Galaxy, one of a number of galaxies controlled by the Empire of The DARK LORD, JENNA OF CHRISTOS finds herself on the run after she killed a patrolman. Becoming pilot on a pirate craft, several years later she and other pirates are devastated by attacks of the Imperial Legion and are now trying to regroup. Seeking funds that will help them hide out for a time, their leader THURGOD DRISTA and JENNA meet with a PROFESSOR of galactic history who gives them information, a map and an ancient artifact described as a singing stone. He tells them that this could lead them safely to a legendary treasure trove, called THE DARK LORDS HOARD, on the forbidden planet TRILLA. The hoard is supposed to belong to the ruler of the empire who vanished close to one thousand years before and is presumed to be gone. The treasure is believed to be hidden in a tunnel accessible from the planet surface but no one who has gone into the tunnel has ever come out alive or sane. Leaving the pirate hideout immediately after the meeting and avoiding a major attack by the legion, the pirates travel to the galactic rim for supplies and to leave a false trail. With them they take the PROFESSOR and ILISA, a serving girl. However CAPTAIN TRASKA the commander of a Legions task force called Detachment T, has guessed the pirates intentions and tracked them to the rim. The pirates leave on their next leg to TRILLA unaware that CAPTAIN TRASKA with his force of heavy cruisers, is already there and lying in wait for them. Allowing the pirates to land, including an unexpected second pirate ship, CAPTAIN TRASKA sends a force of troopers to capture both craft and their guards. Before they can do this, THURGOD, the PROFESSOR and others, numbering thirteen altogether and led by JENNA entered the tunnel complex. JENNA, warned by ILISA that she must be the one to hold the singing stone, carries it in the hope that it will guide her and her companions past the many dangers in the tunnel. Shortly afterward, VIS VISTRICER the Legions overall commander travels to Trilla in an armoured planetoid, a spacecraft as large as a moon. On his arrival at TRILLA, VIS VISTRICER meets with CAPTAIN TRASKA but before they can do much, they are both surprised by one of the LADIES OF THE CIRCLE who is waiting for the outcome of what is happening in the tunnels. In the tunnels, JENNA leads THURGOD and the rest of party through many dangers and tests. Four are killed in the tunnels but the rest finally come to their goal where, to their surprise, in a cavern they meet the DARK LORD who is alive and very well. He has been waiting for them so he can return to the Empire. JENNA finds out that the patrol officer is alive and that she and many others have been manipulated all this time by the DARK LORD. She also finds out that ILISA, whose real name is JURA, is a member of the CIRCLE OF LADIES and was sent to teach JENNA many years before on her home planet of Christos. The DARK LORD restores and fulfills a promise to release JURA from her service as a LADY. He next has each pirate declare their own fate and takes them to the surfaces of TRILLA. There, at their election, he executes two of the pirates while JENNA is pardoned and some have the death penalty reprieved. The rest will face the courts of the Legion. VIS VISTRICER is raised to the rank of STAR COMMANDER, the highest rank in the Legion while TRASKA becomes a COMMODORE. The DARK LORD returns to Tihab, the administrative centre of the empire. There he takes up his residence in a surprised and disconcerted imperial palace. JENNA is returned by COMMODORE TRASKA to the planet Christos where she is welcomed by the planets rulers and her family, some of whom were aware of some of what was happening.
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