《Freaks and Slashers》Chapter 24
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We’d managed to get a surprisingly large amount of fabric and minerals from the five Chupacabras we dumped in the Trove, not to mention the frankly staggering amount of wood Connie had fed into our stash.
“Going to need metals pretty soon,” Millie said as we walked around to the front of the cabin, “you know, unless we want to be stuck buying all of it.”
“Could see if there’s a mine nearby?” Liz suggested, “I know it’s a bit of a longshot, but we didn’t exactly do a whole lot of exploring before the… thing.”
“Not a bad idea,” I agreed, hearing yet another tree fall somewhere deep in the forest, “might be dangerous though, especially on my own.”
“Who says you’d go out on your own?” Liz asked.
“Considering the other option is wandering around the woods in the middle of the night waiting for the moment we had to sprint back before dawn,” I pointed out, “and I guess that takes doing another job off the table as well…”
“Shit, yeah.” Millie sighed before having a lightbulb moment, “What about that Ghoul machine?”
“That’s not a bad idea,” I replied, tilting my head from side-to-side as I weighed up the pros and cons, “if it gets close to dawn we can get you home without leaving money on the table.”
“More than welcome to take Connie with you as well,” Nolan offered as he made his way over to us, “what do you three smell like?”
“Chupacabras,” Liz grumbled, having apparently briefly blocked out the stench, “the sooner we get a washing machine, the better.”
“You’re sure we’re good to take Connie?” I asked, “We can manage without if you need her here.”
“I’m sure you could, but she’s got cutters and grinders that’ll make short work of that metal pile.” Nolan said with a nod, gesturing to the forest with his coffee cup, “Besides, ‘bout done with this, and between what you hopefully are able to salvage, the wood we’ve already got, and what we can trade for, we should be able to start getting this house of yours built.”
“We’ll take her,” Liz quickly proclaimed, “if having her gets us out of that hole as soon as possible, then we need her.”
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“If you say so,” I chuckled before looking back at Nolan and nodding, “if you trust us with her, we’d be glad for the help.”
“Figured you would be,” Nolan said with a smirk as he turned to the forest, “Connie! C’mere!”
Without a second’s delay, the buzzing that had drifted into the background stopped, giving my ears no small amount of relief, followed shortly by the sound of treads rumbling across the forest floor.
It was another few seconds before the treads rolled out of the tree line a few yards from us, leaving behind them a wake of minor destruction.
“I seem to remember there being more of her…” I trailed off, referencing the beach ball-sized socket in between the treads.
“Connie!” Nolan shouted, ignoring my little joke, “Leave whatever it you’ve grabbed and get out here!”
A series of sad robotic beeps and chirps echoed from behind the trees as something heavy hit the earth with enough force for us to feel it.
“Come on now, we don’t have all night!” Nolan ordered.
Connie seemed to ignore him for a few seconds before accepting the directive and, in an almost rebellious way, rolled out next to her treads.
“Go on, put yourself together,” Nolan said before turning to us, “I think she might be due for an update or something.”
I struggled to respond as I watched the large metal ball of electronics and mechanical whatsits sprout daddy long legs-like arms and climb up onto the treads, the TV antenna-thin limbs somehow able to shift the at least hundred pound orb with relative ease.
“You’re going to go with them, alright?” Nolan explained once Connie was whole again, “Check out where that Ghoul machine is and bring back the junk to put in the Trove. Sound good?”
The chirpy little robot replied with a few whistles and beeps and before rolling her way over to Monster Mash, spewing exhaust from the tailpipe of her treads.
“No chance that’ll kill us, is there?” Millie asked.
“Just roll down a window, you should be fine.” Nolan said, earning him concerned looks from both the girls, “I’m kidding, she’ll automatically shut off all the fume-making stuff as soon as she’s in the back of the van.”
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“If anything’s going to kill us in Monster Mash in her current state, it’s going to be Monster Mash,” I joked, “what about fuel?”
“She’ll get through tonight no problems,” Nolan replied assuredly, “and if she starts to get low, she’ll let you know.”
“What if she’s midway between trips?” I asked.
“If she’s lost, she’ll send out a flare.” Nolan explained, “I feel like you guys’d ask fewer questions if I’d asked you to take care of my kids.”
“Kids don’t tend to come equipped with power tools and tank treads.” Millie pointed out.
“My kids would,” Nolan chuckled, “honestly though, unless you were deliberately trying to sabotage her, there’s no way Connie’ll get hurt, and if, God forbid, something does happen to her, it won’t be your fault.”
“You say that now…” Liz trailed off.
Nolan rolled his eyes at that and put his hand to his chest, “I solemnly swear I will not hold any of you accountable in the event of Connie’s death,” he said, “better?”
“I’d prefer to have it writing,” Liz half-joked, “but if you’re sure.”
“And you were so positive we needed her before.” I lightheartedly jabbed.
“That was before I saw her again and panicked we might mess up,” Liz replied defensively before looking over to the cheery robot, “to wit, I’m going to go help her get in the van.”
“Me too.” Millie added, following Liz as she diid.
“This is so I get stuck in the back again, isn’t it?” I asked amusedly.
“Yep,” Millie replied without turning around, “sitting around in a bunch of Chupacabra leftovers just doesn’t sound appealing to me.”
“See what I have to live with?” I said before turning slightly more serious, “So, the house thing, what do you think we’re looking at timeframe-wise now? Conservatively speaking.”
“Conservatively?” Nolan said, taking a few seconds to think it over, “Two days, that’s dependent on how quick the shack comes down though.”
“Could be longer then?” I asked.
“Unlikely,” Nolan replied, shaking his head, “honestly, I’d say you’ll have a house by tomorrow night if I wasn’t so worried about potentially getting your hopes up.”
“Sorry for ruining that for you.” I facetiously apologized.
“As you should be,” Nolan facetiously accepted, “but yeah, looks like you’ll have a place to put all that stuff soon.”
“God, that’ll be a relief,” I sighed, “no offence, but four walls and a roof sounds really good about now.”
“Doesn’t it just,” Nolan agreed after taking another long draught from his coffee, “not to worry though, ‘cause as soon as I’m done with your place I’m getting my cabin built.”
“I almost forgot you were doing that,” I huffed with a smile, feeling significantly less bad about him living in a trailer, “reckon there’ll be enough parts left over after the house?”
“Definitely,” Nolan replied, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but a big part of the reason I’ve had Connie going so hard has been so that we can all be set up at about the same time.”
“Why weren’t you going to say anything?” I asked confusedly.
“I don’t know, I figured me talking about my house when we’re trying to set you up seemed like a shitty thing to do, you know?” Nolan awkwardly explained.
“Not really, no,” I chuckled as I watched Connie use her legs to drag her whole body up into the van, “but I guess I’m just a bit more selfish than you.”
“Maybe, or maybe I’m just weirdly altruistic,” Nolan joked before nodding over to the van, “I’d get a move on if I were you. Doesn’t like they’re going to hold up for you.”
“Doesn’t, does it?” I replied amusedly before panicking and starting off towards the van as the reverse lights came on, “See you in the morning!”
“You got it, Gray,” Nolan called after me, “don’t stay out too late!”
“Yes, mom.” I laughed sarcastically after barely making it into the back of Monster Mash as Liz lifted her foot off the brake, “Heya, Connie.”
Probably wouldn’t have hurt to have given the Sasquatch’s words a little more time to sink in before getting sucked into my one-sided conversation with his droid, but damn if that little dieselpunk critter didn’t have the gift of the gab.
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